Thursday

Dunkin Donuts on Broadway & 50th. in NYC

Received Thursday, April 26, 2007
I think your nanny is a rageaholic who needs to be drinking DECAF not size large regular coffees. Which she ordered. The nanny went in to DD this morning around 9 am to get her coffee and had a little boy with curly hair, olive complexion, blue sports vinyl jacket with her. The boy asked for a donut. She said no. The end. The boy was off to the side of the line with his finger to his mouth, somewhat talking to himself about what he saw. Very sweet and well behaved. The nanny exited the line, doctored up her coffee and grabbed the little boy suddenly and harshly by the wrist. He wasn't doing anything. In fact, could he have had more model behavior for a 3 year old? I don't think so. Nanny then said, "come on I don't have all day". What was he doing? She basically dragged him behind her holding his wrist. She was very rushed and abrupt, treating the child like a rag doll. The nanny was short, plump, African American or possibly Puerto Rican. She had very light skin, wore a lavender shirt and blue, cotton pants with slide in sneakers. Before you say this doesn't seem like anything, maybe not. But everyone in the store was looking at this nanny like "what is your problem"?

44 comments:

The Working Mother and The Stay-at-Home Mom said...

This is very sad, especially since children are so innocent and young, and many times cannot verbalize to their parents what has happened during the day with their CCP. It is important for parents to discuss their with their CCP's their type of parenting philosophy. For instance, "never be rough with my child", or "do not raise your voice to my child". Parents should have a no tolerance rule to aggressive behavior, and let this be known in the initial interview, which may help in certain situations such as this one.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like something I would want to know if I was the parent. Poor little guy.

linda said...

As a parent of twins- who can sometimes be a bit hard to handle, I think I would be more concerned about a nanny who behaved this way in the face of normal or good behavior then I would about a nanny who temporarily lost her cool during a tantrum.

Jennifer said...

Linda, there was no tantrum. The CCP said no and the boy stood off to the side talking about what he saw in the store.

linda said...

Yes. That is what I said. I would be more concerned about THIS NANNY who acted so poorly towards a well behaving child then I would a nanny that might scream at her charges to "get over here right now and I mean now".

What happens when this little three year old doesn't behave perfectly? My children would not take a no so easily- not a no to a donut from inside a donut store!

Jennifer, Please check your reading comprehension skills.

jennifer lecarlo said...

CCP?
Who coined that annoying term?

Anonymous said...

I think CCP is a Long Island thing.

Anonymous said...

how many jen & jennifers are there here?

The Working Mother and The Stay-at-Home Mom said...

To set the record straight, "CCP", aka "child-care provider", was a term that the Working Mother and The Stay-at-Home Mom created. Visit our blog site for more info!

Anonymous said...

are you from Long Island?
I don't get CCP.
Isn't that lumping all of the crap housekeeping sitters in with the professional nannies?

Anonymous said...

Forgive me if I don't adopt CCP-
I'm just not that crazy about Al Sharpton.

Anonymous said...

I think people behave differently according to whom might be witnessing their behavior. In this case, the nanny was in public but away from the parents so she felt 'somewhat' free to be herself. One can only imagine how she behaves when there are no prying eyes to behold her 'stuff'.

Anonymous said...

Working Mother and SAHM: the term "child-care provider" (and the obvious abbreviation CCP) has been around for at least decades. You may use it, but you most certainly did not invent it.

As a professional nanny, I hate the term because it's too general. I'm not a babysitter or a housekeeper or an au pair or a daycare provider. I'm a nanny. There is a world of difference between those professions and I don't understand why anyone would use the generic term when the the individual's profession is known. (If anyone called me a "CCP" I would be quick to ask them to call me a nanny.)

The only time the term seems useful is when the speaker is referring to ALL child care providers. (ie "Whatever form of child care a parent chooses -- nanny, daycare, etc -- one hopes that the child-care provider will be responsible and caring.")

mel said...

I'm not a nanny but I think it's just absurd! You might as well just call them,"The help".

The Working Mother and The Stay-at-Home Mom said...

Yes, we use the reference CCP as a very general term. It is just a simple, generic term for anyone who helps lend a hand to care for your children, including nannies, au pairs, baby nurses, neighbors, friends, mothers-in-law, babysitters, etc, etc. Whatever!

WAHM of three with a nanny and a housekeeper said...

But why? I have a housekeeper, I call her the housekeeper. She does not watch the children. I have a nanny, I call her a nanny. I can't imagine either of these two jumping when I bellow out CCP.

It really isn't worth me even commenting on, but it's almost such a pretensious thing. Perhaps a term divised to at all times declare the mother as being supreme?

I get that already by being there for my children everyday. When they need something, they come to me and not because I tell them to come to me. Because they know when they come to mne, I will handle the situation, help them, hug them, etc.

Anonymous said...

pretentious, yes... that's it, the word I was thinking of. CCP= pretentious

Anonymous said...

I am also a professional nanny who hates that term.
4:53PM: anyone who LENDS A HAND?!
I just put in a ten hour day with three children, playground, art projects, homework, music practice,meals, baths, story time.
Lend a hand indeed!

Anonymous said...

I wish the working mother and the stay-at-home mother would either do some work, stay off the computer, or find an advice column in need of some extra pretension. Has anyone ever once cared about anything they had to say?

Anonymous said...

Reading a blog like this everyday as I do, I look forward to hearing different opinions that differ from my own. So, yes- I care!

PS, What is the point of being so mean?

DW said...

I agree, 7:54, what is the point of being mean to the working mother and stay at home mom? As far as I can tell, they've always commented in a respectful manner and gave (what I perceive to be) very thoughtful advice and opinions.

j said...

That makes three of us. Stick around, I look forward to reading your responses to some of the questions that get asked on here.

Most of the people on here seem pretty decent. I enjoy working mom and sahm mom comments- although I don't get what Al Sharpton has to do with childcare. ??

Anonymous said...

Al Sharpton thinks he has supreme knowledge of proper childcare. He knew at once that Imus's comments would forever devastate and alter the lives of those young basketball players who would have probably never even known what Imus said, had not Al Sharpton pointed it out to them and everyone else in the universe. Yes, he is the expert of all experts.

Mika said...

Ok Working Mother and Stay At Home Mom as 4:32 noted you sure as HELL did not invent CCP...HAHAHA..whatever makes you feel good, nice way to get people to 'check out your blog'

Anonymous said...

maybe nanny (yes, nanny) was getting coffee for mom...and maybe mom isn't so nice to nanny when her coffee doesn't come on time. i get mom's coffee, lunch, drycleaning, ect, on a regular basis, and she is never happy if it doesn't happen quickly. i'll bet she calls me a CCP behind my back. ;)

did OP mention if nanny actually drank the coffee on the way out?

and just to vent...if the adult and child had been the same race, or if the adult had been white/english speaking with no accent, everyone in that coffee shop would have seen a mom having a rough morning and cut her some slack. her behavior was wrong, but so are double standards.

Anonymous said...

9:44pm
You made me think of the scene in The Devil Wears Prada when she gets the boss's coffee. I hope your boss isn't that mean!

Anonymous said...

OH Bullshit. Whether the nanny is having a hard day or a mother is having a hard day in a similar situation, you don't take it out on the child.

Anonymous said...

jennifer (the one at 12:40)-
where are you working now? Do you have a story to tell?

Anonymous said...

I would give the same look if it was the mom or the nanny. Doesn't matther who it is, it just matters that it's happening to the poor kid!

Anonymous said...

exactly 4:37 ...exactly

Anonymous said...

944, it is not double standards. No parent would hire a nanny to abuse their child. No "CCP" should ever handle a child so roughly. No parent ever should, either.

*BTW, the term CCP is annoying. I would not lump a nanny with a babysitter. Big difference.

Anonymous said...

2:50 AM,
So let's not use it!

Annie said...

Is CCP as a term really so bad when we're discussing people who's relationship to a child is entirely unclear? I wouldn't be happy to have my employers call me a CCP, but that's because they understand that I'm a nanny not a babysitter or any other kind of specific descriptive title. If someone sees me on the street with the kids (and manages to acurately peg me as someone other than their mom) all they know is that I'm providing childcare. I could be a babysitter, a tutor, a nanny, etc.

My point is, we're forced to generalize a great deal on this site, so isn't a generic term kind of appropriate for those who want to?

Annie said...

Sorry, I meant: isn't a generic term kind of appropriate to use for those who want to?

jmt said...

I agree with Annie. I've said the same before: we can never know for sure the relationships we glimpse when making these sightings, so CCP isn't inappropriate at all.

marge said...

Well I think not.
I think the term is assanine.
Purely idiotic.
VETO

annie said...

Well, this is obviously a matter of opinion, but what I find asinine (but not assanine) and rather offensive is being called an au pair or a babysitter. I'd much rather the person talking about me admit that they don't know exactly what I do as opposed to assigning me an arbitrary title based on little to no information.

I have to say, Marge, what I think purely idiotic is someone who persists in polarizing an issue. You can reject (or veto) the term for your own personal use, but it's so unnecessarily inflammatory to start name calling and dishing out judgment as opposed to opinion.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you Annie. Stupid sounding as CCP may be, if someone opts to use it, fine. Let's move on to more important things, i.e., the issues at hand.

marcie said...

annie you may indeed be right,
but I will lose respect for anyone I have come to like on here if they choose to use the idiotic abbreviation.

C U L8tr

Anonymous said...

On the CCP issue: Many nannies have expressed their resentment of the term. For some of us, it has a negative connotation. Care giver, which is also an all inclusive term, does not have the same offensive ring.
Terms for minorities and ethnic groups change over time, because their feelings about them change, i.e.. Native American has gone back to Indian, some Blacks want to be referred to as A. A. You may think there is nothing wrong with the old term, or not understand why they find it objectionable, but out of respect for their feelings, you call people what they want to be called.
A nanny

Anonymous said...

You mean
C U L8tr??????

Anonymous said...

i think she was being sarcastic by signing it cu l8tr.

Anonymous said...

I think CCP is fine, and I will continue to use it.

Anonymous said...

ow