Received Thursday, February 22, 2007
Starbucks in the River Oaks Shopping Center, River Oaks, Texas which is outside Houston. I was in line when I saw the apparent nanny at the condiment counter gathering straws and what not. She had a small, possibly hot coffee. She was Hispanic, under 5'2", under 120 lbs, plain face, frizzy, feathered hair with rusty highlights. The child was red haired, very fair, white child with freckles, wearing light weight yellow muted yellow jacket, plaid skirt, navy tights. The child was twitching and hopping about. Asked the nanny to go to the restroom. The child was probably 4. The nanny said something about being able to have a break. Her coffee was small but even though the child was in obvious discomfort, she made the child sit and wait to use the restroom. I understand the nanny deserving a break, but also realize how uncomfortable it can be for even a child to have to use the restroom and have to wait. Tsk. Tsk.
20 comments:
what kind of town is this?
Because if I was at Starbucks in my town with my 4 year old and for whatever reason I didnt want to get off my ass, I would not be at all uncomfortable with allowing my child to go on her own. Of course I live in a great neighborhood.
But then, I've never been in a run down or scum infested starbucks. Sounds like the nanny has control issues.
As a nanny, I would never let my charges go to a public restroom alone. A mom can make that call, but I don't think a nanny should. In addition, 12:19, I think you have a false sense of security. Bad things can happen in good neighborhoods.
Dear Nanny,
Put your coffee down and take the child to the restroom. Honest to God, is it so hard to figure this out?
if the nanny can't handle this kind of "rocket science", how on earth would the nanny manage a skinned knee? What about a mosquito bite? Stranger at the door? Tea Kettle on the burner? Prank phone call? Morsel of gossip? Diarhea? Unmitigated access to her employer's AOL account? Sunblock? Storytelling? Hand holding?
12:52 You are right on target. I too live in a small town but wouldn't dream of sending my charge (or any child for that matter) to a public restroom alone.
Wow, the ignorance of the first reply. Bad things happen everywhere. I also live in a nice neighborhood and we have a starbucks and it's a really nice one: I still would never let my small child out of my sight in public! That poor kid whose mom allows her to do that... what a stupid parent! (and agreed: that nanny should have taken the child to the restroom. Children cannot "hold it.")
OP good post!!
Poster 1252..are you kidding me? " amom can make that call but not a nanny"..I am a nanny. When both myself and my employer are in the room with the kids..they look to me for all answers and "go aheads" ..Get real..most nannies ARE making those kinds of decisions all damn day long!! You obviously live in some fantasy world. I never call my employer to ask anything..I make all the decisions becuase my boss trusts me and my charges are more respectful with me than with mommy & daddy becuase they know that I make those decisions!!!
I grew up in Houston, and went to school in River Oaks. It is a very affluent area. This does not mean its safe. As a nanny, I agree with 12:52. I would never let a 4 year old out of my sight while under my care,no matter what the area, and thats one of the things we get paid for. As for the nanny not taking the child to the restroom, that is absolutely abhorrent. When you are being paid to watch someone else's child/children, the child/children's needs come first!
4:07, calm down, you misunderstood. The expression make that call refers to making a decision, not a phone call! I make decisions all day, and in Manhattan, which is no safe and easy fantasy world. What I meant was, as a nanny, I always err on the side of caution, and probably don't allow some things that a mother might. For example, my boss lets her children jump on the bed. I don't. She feels confident that she can spot them, and that is her prerogative as the parent. She wouldn't let them go the restroom alone thought! 12:52
Not taking the child to the restroom is neglegful and irresponsible. Shame on the nanny.
Why do little kids have to go to the bathroom every ten minutes? It's so annoying! Maybe she was teaching the kid a lesson in expanding his bladder so she doesn't have to find a public restroom every damn minute of the day.
10:01 - Wait! I think I know you! You were Sybil's mother in that miniseries right? I bet I'm right.
"teach the kid a lesson in expanding his bladder"?! 10:01, I hope you are neither a nanny or a mother!
1001 was not even funny. why make such statements? the person who posted the comment about taking her employer's hair off the bar of soap for dna testing. that was funny. mocking a child is just stupid.
Dear 10:01,
yes going to the bathroom is just a nuisance. Isn't that why the astronaut wore Depends?
Wait, was that you?
I am a mom and a sitter. My own children (small) want to visit the RR everywhere we go...sometimes I make them wait and I usually find it was false. Is that all you saw?
The children I keep are very demanding of their own mother and try to make demands with me but see there are boundaries and so relent. Far too many children are aloud to "run things" these days...they need and will learn to respect boundaries with love. Oh that people would get some wisdom in raising our next generation!
I think as a mother you can make a distinction when your child needs to go or just wants to visit the bathroom because they haven't been to that one...such is the case with my 4 y/o. Which we usually go inspect it anways because I am also in the process of potty training her 2 y/o sister. However, that being said, if I am paying someone to watch my children, and my kids say they need go to the bathroom. They better take them. I don't care if it is a false alarm or not. Ever had a UTI? They are painful and come from having to hold their pee in. Who is this lady to decide when my child should go to the bathroom. As for as kids learning boundaries with love, there are many other ways to develop boundaries then with the bathroom. I would have to say that 7:23 has some control issues with her own kids in letting them listen to their bodies and/or be inquisitive.
PARENTS PLEASE READ
This is what happens when you buy a new home, a new car, a new pair of boobs, hair implants (for the dads) and under pays and over load you nanny with work. I am totally against the nanny’s decision making but for you parents out there that give your children to a nanny pay her good and give her breaks do not over load her and she will treat your child with lots of love and respect and even go the extra mile for them and your family. I am a nanny and have never done this to a child but when you go to parks and communicate with other nannies they tell you how much they despise the parents and they lower their full potential with the children. The root of it all is overworked and under paid. I have been over loaded before but I never took it out on the children instead I set boundaries with the Parents and gave love and care to the children. If you think I am wrong go to the park and select an unhappy looking nanny or a nanny that is ignoring the child/ren and ask her about her day and slowly ask about her job whether she likes it or not. Pick one every time you take your child to the park and you will see. Good luck to all and just as with clothes and waxes you get what you pay for!!!
River Oaks is probably the nicest part of Houston. 95% of the houses are 1 million or more! (expensive for Texas) but this doesnt surprise me one bit, the family is probably rude...but you need to take the child...or let her go on her own, and watch her. Even though River Oaks is VERY upscale, it is still right in the middle of downtown.
River Oaks is a wonderful area, but not crime free. Perpetrators everywhere! As for what the nanny that didn't allow the 4 yr old to go to the rr; this is very rude behavior and insensitive to the needs of that child. I am a nanny and we talk plenty. Many nannies do it just for the money and they are good at faking to the parents as though they love their kid/kids. Many nannies and domestic workers speaks very bad in reference to the parents. Yes, treat the workers well and you will probably be treated well and with respect in return. Employers should really take this under consideration; how you treat the domestic workers, is how you will be treated and the charges. Thats bad to take it out on little children, but it is a cruel world we live in and some people just don't care. May GOD help us all!
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