Received Friday, December 22, 2006
Thursday afternoon. Short nanny with short red/brown hair in a specific style. Very thin/high arched eyebrows. Toting little boy about 4/5 with her.Little boy wore a green/blue jacket and had thick/dark/curly hair and blue eyes. The nanny let child wander while she plopped down to read Spanish language newspapers in one section. I helped him look for books for himself. I was with my own son. The nanny-after 20 minutes came to our section and yelled at the child for talking in the library and bothering an adult. I wanted to say something harsh to her, but in the spirit of the holidays I did not. Seems to me that it would be basic common sense/kindness to assist the child to find his books and then sit down and read your newspaper while he looked at his books. Not abusive-but generally just not nice. Also, I noticed the boy was wearing what looked like brand new tennis shoes which were mostly white with a small amount of red and resembled/or may have been KSwiss and I am fairly certain the nanny called him "Ben".
27 comments:
"Ben" means "come here" in Spanish. In case that's what she was saying. I'm sorry the nanny didn't seem to know the accepted procedure of how to work with a child in a library. It could have been a cultural misunderstanding. I am of Latin heritage and I know that it is often customary to let children explore on their own. Not that it's the best way to deal with young children in this big city. Perhaps all nannies in New York should be required to take a course on safe and interactive ways to work with children.
Our 5 year old searches for his own books all the time.He does just fine and he too is not allowed to "talk" in the library..he is allowed to whisper on a as needed basis..these are the library rules..not ours..seems to many parents were not enforcing the whisper policy so the Library did!
We teach our child not to interact with strangers what so ever unless mom & dad give you the go ahead..I think strangers that approach young children should know better. Looking out for what seems to be a lost child is helpful but otherwise you should remember that you have most likley taught your child not to talk with strangers either.
I have never been to this particular library..is it very big?
And we know this was a nanny because?
Here come the nannies swarming. doubting whether it was the nanny. and then of course blaming the mother who was there helping the kid while the nanny sat on her arse!
If this was MY child, I wouldn't be upset at the mom. In fact we tell our children if they get lost to always find a MOM with children for help. I would be less than pleases with the nanny.
Let the fault lie where it should!
Don't forget- a nanny is not a parent- she is getting PAID to do a job. If I didn't do my job correctly, I wouldn't have it.
I love it. So little faith in the person who would take the time to sit down and submit the post that you suggest she has confused the name Ben with venga or venga aqui (come or come here). Really! Do you have a checklist you go through. Certain people are assigned to swarm and attempt to discredit a post on a given day? This isn't abusive. Whether or not this is significant or not isn't up to any other mother except this child. And she should know how her child is being cared for. It may be quite in line with what she expects. Or not.
To the above poster.1050.I don't see one post implying that a parent was at fault here?! Why do hate nannies so much? And before you start calling us lazy and disgusting as you do in everyother blog could you stop for a minute and remember that not ALL nannies are bad and not all parents are bad.People often think I am my child's nanny as I am porcelin white and my daughter looks Mexican. My point is it's NOT always the bad nanny in these sightings! No one layed blame to a parent..just wondering how this OP decide the caregiver was nanny & not mommy?
Obviously the caregiver knows this childs abilities! Maybe mom ,..maybe nanny.
Mira..who told you Ben means "come here?"
heather..you sound wise.. wish the nanny hating poster above would take a lesson or two from you!
I think the main problem is that the nanny was reading her newspaper in one section while the child in her care was wandering in another section. It's fine to allow the child to explore and look for his books as long as he's always within her peripheral view. The fact that she did not seem to care for his well being for 20 minutes is disturbing. I would at least check up on him once or twice within that time period to see if he needs anything and if he wants me to help him look for a book or read to him. But that's just me.
Obviously, the caregiver did not realize the child's capabilities. This is why he needed assistance from another mother. I have been in the same position in different places. Usually the culprit is a disengaged mom. This time it was the nanny. She is still wrong. If your child needs to go to someone else or is alone for such a period that other people can interact with your child, I think there is a problem. 4 or 5? In NYC. Keep him in your sight!
1213 You do not know that this was a nanny? She did not say He solicited the help..the nosey mommy offerred help becuase she felt what was happening was wrong.Perhaps her heart was in the right place but some parents do things differently..and those of you who see that and don't agree alwys have to tell us we are wrong! Our 5 yr old often picks her own books out.She is independent and much more capable than many of you whinny ,nosey parents!
Merry Christmas to you ALL!!
10:50 Not all parents share your bitter negitive attitude toward nannies. Don't assume every time someone doesn't think like you, it must be a nanny.
Ben does mean come here, but is pronounced a tad more like beh-nn
lol@ "come here"=ben posts
wow you people are ignorant. did you get your degrees through the mail? you shouldn't be nannies or parents!
I think that bottom line is that you should be able to see your charge/child at all times.
The day after Thanksgiving I was shopping at a Target in WI. I came across and two year old about that didn't have anyone with him I just watch him for a couple of minutes. Then he move to another isle (i was in the toy section)and I start going up and down isle looking. I found him again at the end of the toys looking around for his mommy and there was no one there. So I told him let find your mommy and I took him by the hand heading to the front of the story. We walk past the toy isles as we went and l lady come out of one isle and said he wonder off. and she took him by the hand and left.
For me if a kid is wondering with no one. I would rather be the one with him then some stranger nabbing him. yes I am a stanger too but i know i have good intentions.
just keep a close eye on your kids people
she should have thanked you!
1050..you are so redundant !! nanny Basher!! Every blog is filled with your hatred towards the people raising tomorrows future!! Get over it. You had a bad experience.. You probably found the cheapest nanny you could and got what you paid for!! Quit bashing the nannies!!!
I thought the same thing when I read the post. ho does anyone know this was nanny and not mommy? My fair skinned, blonde daughter looks nothing like her Spanish father. And "ben" around here in Northern NJ can easily be mistaken for "come in Spanish" My neighborhood is about 50/50 Spanish and Italian. Many of the Spanish speak what we all jokingly call "Spanglish" Many people here say "ben" and their chilren come running.
If I would have the slightest doubt that it was the mother and not the nanny, I would not have posted this! Honestly! Also, I speak Spanish fluently and when I said I was fairly certain the nanny called the child "Ben" that is what I meant. She wasn't calling to him since she went and found him. Talking to a stranger. (Me). It was hard to gage the child's age but given what I observed, I don't think he should have been unsupervised or more than within sight of his caregiver. She is after all- on the clock! So quit making excuses for her!
op..and again we ask..how do you know this is a nanny and not mommy?
you really are ridiculous, you know! How do you go into a hardware store and buy a tea pot and know it isn't a coffee maker. What? Packaging, baby. It's all about packaging and common sense.
Well,here's the deal. I don't think for one minute that this was the nanny. I think the op is wrong and just as she refuses to state how she KNOWS this is a nanny I will refrain from stating how I KNOW this is NOT a nanny.The op needs to be more careful with her accusations and realize that she might not be the only one observing a "sighting" and she should not elaborate to make her story sell!
In the spirit of everything, I've been mistaken for MANY children's mothers, even though I look very young, and/or nothing like them.
perhaps because I dress presentibly?
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