Monday

A question for other mothers....

I have a wonderful nanny who has lived with and worked for us since my son was born five years ago. During that time, other nannies in the neighborhood have come and gone. Fortunately, most of these nannies were in the category of great to excellent. There is a working mother who lives in the neighborhood who is away a good lot of the time and I feel the need to call attention to some issues of her nanny's driving. I am torn between the MYOB sentiment (which I do not particularly agree with) and my concern that if something potentially happens to those children while the nanny is driving, I would not be able to live with myself. The nanny does not drive my child, so this does not involve my son on any level. The behaviors I have observed include running a stop sign, speeding, talking on her mobile phone frequently (which is illegal here), driving with only her parking lights on (at night). (??) The nanny has been with the family for about three months and I don't have any knowledge about how she is in any other area except her driving. Have any other mothers ever had this situation arise and if so, what is the best way to broach it? Understand of principle concern is that this mother relies very heavily on her nanny so there is a good chance that she will not choose to do anything about it and I will have succeeded only in making two enemies in the neighborhood. TIA for your input.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness: you should definitely say something!
I am a nanny myself and I as a rule do not transport children. As the children I nanny for are infants and toddlers this is not an issue (no soccer practice, no scouts, etc.) and the reason why I have this rule is because my husband and I are scared of the liability factor. Even a good driver can have an accident, after all it could be the fault of anyone on the road.
That being said, this nanny sounds like she is endangering the children: please don't hesitate to say anything. It is in the children's best interest. If the parent chooses not to do anything, it is their choice. Now the talking on the mobile phone is a great concern of mine: is it really illegal where you are? I wish it were here, because it is very dangerous. You don't know how many times I have almost gotten hit by people talking on their phones. Good thing I am a careful driver...
Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

Anonymous said...

I absolutely agree! You must tell the parents. If you make an enemy of this mother by warning her about a danger to her kids that's her problem. At least you will have done everything in your power to protect the children. This nanny could kill all the kids in the car with her, and anyone else in another car she hits while, say, running a stop sign! And NY has a "no handheld phone while driving law" BTW, but it is actually driving while distracted by anything that is dangerous, e.g. a cup of coffee, changing radio stations, a lively conversation even on a hands free phone. Every parent should lay down the law about safe driving to their nannies. Good luck. And keep out of that nanny's way!

Casey said...

Hi. My first comment ever left... I feel that this deserves it. Tell her. Leave a note in the mailbox, send a letter, make a call, tell her! This does affect your son, what if she hits him when driving and distracted, what if she hits you and him in the car. This is a problem for everyone. Good luck. As a mother and former nanny, I think you are doing the neighborhood an injustice if you don't share the information.

Anonymous said...

small town or big town? write the plate down and take it to the police station. tell them to be on the lookout for her.

Anonymous said...

As the third reply said, it does indeed effect your son, and your husband and your nieces and nephews and your dog and cat and everyone who may get hit by this maniac!
People need to be held accountable for their actions. Please for the love of all that's holy say something!!!! If the mother doesn't do anything, then take further action by filing a complaint.
Let us know how it turns out and good luck!

Anonymous said...

I am a professional nanny and a mother of 2 and I agree. You need to tell the mother that her children are being put in harm's way. Having a nanny is about having open communication with a person you hand over the care of your most precious possessions to each day. The mother should confront the nanny about her actions while driving and hopefully she will become aware of her mistakes and everyone will be safer for it.

Anonymous said...

yes, please tell her.

Anonymous said...

Report her to the neighborhood cops. Let THEM catch her and in form the parents.


Or take some video (from a location other than your house) and turn it over to the local news channel. They LOVE stuff like this.


:-)

Anonymous said...

I would most definitely tell the mother about this. I am a working mother myself and many times neighbors have complained about my nannies, which resulted in one quitting and me firing one. I relied on them heavily but not at the expense of my precious children. Please tell the mother and she can decide what to do with the information.

From a concerned mother in New York.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the news channel idea- that would almost be funny, and you could maybe leave the neighbor a hint to watch the news....

Anonymous said...

Send her an anonymous note and also tell her that you will be contacting law enforcement if she doesn't adress the situation ASAP. And then follow through on that threat.

Anonymous said...

Hello. I am a nanny for a family of two children ages 1 and 2. I am always protective of the children. You should tell the parents. Something needs to be done so noone gets hurt. If the parents don't want to listen go to the police they will do something about it. If the parent is worried about finding another nanny what about sharing your nanny? I heard of nanny sharing. It is where a nanny watches more than one families kids and takes turns at each house with the kids in either home. I sometimes watch extra kids at the home I am a nanny at. But the kids are mainly family or close family friends. And i get paid seperate for that. It is fun and the children love me.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the others, send an anonymous note, just sign it like they do in those dear Abby type things (i.e. A concerned parent, neighbor). If it were my children I would defintely want to know!

Anonymous said...

never send anything anonymous. if you can't stand behind your words, then you shouldn't be saying them, is a good general rule. thing is, you don't know how she is with the kids in any other respect but you do know how she is in this respect, and it happens to be a respect that this mother would have no way of knowing without someone telling her.

i think you should tell her, but let go of any expectation you may have on how she should react. just say it, and be done.

i had to fire a child care provider. she did a few things that called her judgment into question, but one was that she drove up with her own kids unbuckled once. it's one of those things, chances are nothing will come of it but if something does, it will be catastrophic. so you have to take it seriously. if someone told me a nanny's driving was unsafe, i'd thank them.

enemies schmenemies.

good luck.

Anonymous said...

Just a note for the person that wrote the last comment: "Never send anything anonymous". Welp you could have signed your post :)

Enrique Avalle