Friday, October 6, 2006
Last month we hired a new nanny as we do every September. She had two years of experience and had an associates degree in Sociology. I have two school aged daughters and they were crazy about the nanny. She was fun, fashionable, hip, knew all the right music, etc. The nanny mentioned putting some pictures of the night before on her "myspace page" to a friend on the phone. My daughter overheard this and asked me what myspace was. So I got curious and went online. Using only her email address, I searched myspace and found her myspace profile complete with pictures that blew my mind. The pictures were pornographic as I see it. My husband of course seemed to like her more as we clicked through her photographs. Licking this girl's upper thigh, Completely nude with only her hands shielding her breasts, thong to thong with another female, etc. That is until I clicked on some of her friend's profiles in her "top 8" and found still more wild pictures featuring her, her friend and three guys in OUR home. That knocked the smile right off my husband's face. We had but one overnight event to attend in this first four weeks of employments and she had already managed to use our home to host some sort of seedy party. She was our live in nanny. I could no longer trust her, so we terminated her (and are looking for a new one). This time I plan to (in addition to using an agency and background checks) google the hell out of her as well as check myspace as a prescreening measure. I would have been devastated had a one of my friends or one of the class mothers told me, "I saw your nanny naked on the Internet".
39 comments:
oh come on. Once someone has a web page or picture on the net, it is public property. You should have linked us to her profile. That'll teach her!
I never thought of that! I do know that many states offer free access to court records online.
Firing her for having a party in your house - yes, great, completely appropriate. But firing her for having a MySpace? Are people not allowed to have private lives any more? The actions a person does on their own time, away from their work, are their own business.
Rather than spying on your future nannies, why not just ask them up front if they engage in that sort of behavior? Let them know you don't think it's appropriate, you've had problems in the past and don't want your child to be inadvertantly exposed to such things, and make it clear that if they are currently engaging in, or have ever engaged in, lewd behavior that you don't want them to work for you.
And one last thing. What are you more concerned about: your children googling the nanny and seeing their role model engaging in obscene actions, or your own 'humilation' should one of the other mothers see your nany engaging in that behavior? I'd think the first should be your concern.
and you were saint when you were young, huh?
get a life woman...or maybe you need one more child?
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The main reason to fire her was that she brought people to your house. That's a pretty compelling reason.
Having racy photos on her MySpace account? So what. If she treated your kids well, I don't see that it makes a difference.
On the other hand, her being dumb enough to document partying in your house is also a compelling reason, as it indicates she's kind of an idiot.
I think the last person to leave a comment is CRAZY! People who pose naked on myspace are NOT the kind of people I would want around my children. I believe that my morals and values go along with what I do in my free time, meaning I wouldn't want a nanny who does immature, obscene things like posing on myspace, because she clearly is lacking in good wholesome values. I am a former live in nanny, and, sorry, but it just goes to show that her morals aren't there if she'd throw a party when the parents went out of town. There is a definate link to what she does in her free time to what kind of person and nanny she is!
The poster above has two daughters. Why would she have to apologize for employing a whore?
The party at the house was the cherry on the ice cream. The nanny was a whore and would unwittingly influence her children to whoredom.
Anyone who responds in favor of this nanny should be slapped. A nanny who works in your home needs to be sensible and needs to respect your privacy. If she is putting her ass out there on the net, you might want to wonder what she is telling people about your private life. Disgusting.
I know these type of girls. I would never hire one as a nanny.
I'm don't believe it. Again, MySpace doesn't allow nude photos and kicks you off if you display them.
Hmmm.
Two left turns, you are a complete ASS. Myspace is full of lewd pictures. You can't show specific body parts. But you can do most anything else. And by the by, I have seen my share of tits on myspace. It isn't that controlled. Wake up. And what is this "again" all about? Dumb ass.
What don't you believe? No, really WHAT don't you believe? Holy cow, Drunkenstepfather.com does a feauture called myspace slut of the day. You are really living a sheletered life. Really.
http://www.myspace.com/lilytran
Besides the profile shots, I have friends who have posted party picture shots as comments to MY profile/page. I of course can delete them but (and did) because although my friends are exhibitionists who like to show the line, behave suggestively and show their bodies, I don't.
http://www.myspace.com/lilytran
Have you ever been on myspace? It really is the evil of society!
lewd and crude. Crass. Gross.
I say, Out The Nanny! Why should other parents be subjected to her desperate and inappropriate behavior? Having a personal life is one thing but, when a nanny posts lewd photographs of herself online and hold creepy parties in your home then the rest of us should know who she is so we don't hire her. What is the POINT of your post otherwise?? Just to relate a story?
Two years ago, I found disgusting (fetish themed) pictures of my sister's nanny online. I found them by simply using GOOGLE.
I feel like hitting someone.
We googled our nanny candidates. It gives you a better view into the candidate's true personality than the few hours you might spend meeting with someone before you hire them. (do they talk about hating their work, are they partying every night & likely to come to work tired, etc) It's also a great source of directly relevant information that you might not otherwise hear about...
In one case, a nanny candidate discussed a problem falling asleep behind the wheel. In another case we found out about disciplinary action taken against a candidate by the department of health for improper sexual contact with a client while she was a child and family therapist. Both of these issues were missed by the nanny agency we used.
eee gads! How horrifying! I am so glad that you found her out before she could do some serious damage to your daughters. I believe that this site is doing a service. Hopefully, nannies of this caliber will be outed and outsted. Good Luck to you in finding a good one next time around.
What it amazed me is that you would have be "DEVASTATED" is one of the other class moms saw your nanny's pics in the internet. What about if something would happened to your girls with this crazy strangers in your home?
You should check your priorities.
ok first off... nannies have a personal life just liek everyone else. She has every right to have whatever picture she wants on myspace... it's not like she showed the children. The thing I see wrong with it is not that it was in there home but that she did it when the children were home. Also the lady never said it was a gross picture... she just said that there was a picture of the nanny 3 guys and another girl.. maybe they were just hanging out? If you don't want your nanny bring friends into your home then you need to tell her. Which would be very wrong for you to say since she was a live in nanny. She is aloud to have a life also. Being a nanny is a job.. You can not ask her some of those question people said to ask.. it's against the law.
wow there are some dumb people on here. "The nanny should be 'aloud' to have friends over". What an idiot. Allowed. That is what you meant? A L L O W E D. And just so you know, my nanny does not have free run of OUR house. A gross picture. Tongues and Thongs. That is gross. I would never allow such trash in my home. I expect more from my housekeeper.
Why are you taking down to housekeepers?? Just because they clean your house for you because you are to lazy doens't mean anything bad about them. I think it's uncalled for to say "I except more from my housekeeper"
Also if she is a "Live-in" nanny that is her place of residents as well. Not saying they should have half naked people over.. I'm jsut saying it's the nanny's place of residents also. If you don't want to share your home.. don't have a "Live-in" Nanny. Most of the time when a nanny is a live in nanny they don't get paid as much because they have the room and board.. so in a way they are paying to stay there.. so they should have rights too.
Also the lady NEVER said the pictures were gross... she just said that they were in her home and how many people where there.
Keep an open mind if you don't know the facts.
from above "The pictures were pornographic as I see it. My husband of course seemed to like her more as we clicked through her photographs. Licking this girl's upper thigh, Completely nude with only her hands shielding her breasts, thong to thong with another female" SOUNDS GROSS TO ME. And you are dreaming if you think any housekeeper or nanny, even the really good, top notch ones-except in the rarest of situations ever look at the house like it there own!
just because it was considered her "place of residence" does not mean she should be able to have a party when the family goes away. thats just unacceptable. as for the myspace, that shouldnt be an issue. even though the photos are slutty or gross, thats her business. and if she was stupid enough to post those pictures or let someone else do it, she deserved to be fired.
You said yourself that your kids loved it that she was hip and cool and new all the right music what else do you think comes with that? Bookworms and wallflowers? NO people like that are usually the life of the party, have lots of friends, and love to have fun. I suggest that next time you look for a nanny you look for either someone older, grandmother type or someone who looks like they are boring and conservative, you can tell alot about a person by the way they dress and just by the way they carry themselves. I know its hard to think about but in 10 years or so that willl be your daughters on myspace -- not a bad thing at all though even if the photos were racey it sounds like she had a healthy social life and loved to have fun. Its not bad but if you dont want it around your kids make sure you dont put it there yourself
I'm not buying this. First of all... why do you hire a new nanny every september? Do you not want stability and constants in your children's lives? Number 2... not only do you hire a new nanny every September (which leads one to believe you don't need a nanny in the summers- are you a teacher?) but you hire a LIVE IN every fall? So you have someone moving in and out of your house at a minimum of once a year? If not every 9 months or so if you are a teacher. Number 3 your daughter happened to mention that her nanny said the phrase "my space" and you just happened to immediatly think to check online? Then you just happened to find your nanny posting under the email she KNOWS you have? uh-huh. How odd that your daughter pulled that ONE item out of several conversations she undoubtedly overheard. Funny that you just happened to HONE in on that one and look it all up just perfect.
I also love the the husband in this story was so stereotypically all about the naked nanny. That really was just the icing on the cake.
Get an imagination people.
wow, are you out of the loop. Many people get a new nanny in September because the children go away to sleepaway camp all summer long. And EVERYONE knows what myspace is. I have my nanny's email address too. You do know you can look up a myspace profile by an email address, right? You don't need to be Inspector Gadget, all one needs is some common sense-which obviously the above poster does not have!
I am a nanny and couldn't pass up the opportunity to comment on this. I must agree with the poster in this situation. The nanny should know that making those photos public could in some way effect her job. A lot of you are right, as a young adult, we tend to use our freedom and what the nanny does in her spare time shouldn't really be a concern. However, the nanny should know that she is a huge rolemodel for those children and that anything she wouldn't want them to see should be kept private. By posting it on myspace it becomes Public. I also have a myspace page, however, I am very catious of what is on my page. I am not like the nanny that the post is about but I still I have to be very careful that my friends do not post bad comments to my page. I make sure that my myspace page is appropriate, should the kids ever stumble across it. As they have in the past. If the nanny wanted to put those types of things on her page, she should have made it a private account so that she could monitor who is able to view it. The family I nanny for knows that I have myspace and the kids and grandma even visit my site often. As the employers, how could they trust the nanny after seeing such things? If I was in their situation I would have done the sam thing.
People should stay home and raise their own children instead of paying someone else to do it for them
Yes Nannies need to have proper behavior as role models....but why is it that people can do background checks on Nannies and NOT the other way around? Ever hear of the horney husband trying to have his way with the Nanny? Ewwwww....There are a million of those stories out there and even some nannies get raped by the husband.
Look we do not live in a perfect world but the door swings both ways....bad can be on either side.
EVERYIONE TAKES A RISK WHEN THEY LIVE TOGETHER UNDER ONE ROOF...HUSBAND AND WIFE (Lori Hacking-Lacy Peterson- John Bobbit) CHILD AND PARENT (just watch the evening news about child abuse) ROOMIES and YES NANNY-EMPLOYEER SITUATION JUST AS WELL.
ANOTHER URBAN LEGEND IS BORN
urban legend?
how so?
what does this have to do with pouring coke over pork?
If you are a nanny or looking to be a nanny, your myspace account should only include pictures your mom would be proud to show her coworkers. The ability to make good decisions is an important trait for a nanny. Yes, your private life is yours, but pictures on myspace are on the WORLD Wide Web. You are naive if you think that is private.
I think what some people aren't realizing is that the nanny might have had that party when the daughters were there and had they seen her they would have grown up to be whores...
Maybe you should be more concerned that your husband was so into it. Stupid cow.
Okay, I have myspace, and its filled with nothing but pictures of my fiance and our girls. I would be more than happy to show a future employer my page. It shows how much I love my kids and all other kids. This girl was definitely in the wrong, and she should have gotten fired!
this is delirious....
... wicked!
Wow!!! Most of you people that employee nannies must be descendants of slavekeepers. I agree with some previous posts there was no mention that the pictures of other people in the home were lude. Again if you are going to have a live-in nanny then expect her to have a life to have to watch your children. Which I am quite postive she has probably raised or spends more waking hours with than you do. I understand your frustrations, but you as a person have no right to treat her or anyone else working in your home like this. I am currently writing a bill to protect nannies and housekeepers from people like you. If you are worried about what someone says about your nanny, then quit your job that is just so great that YOU can't stay home with your own kids. And to the person referring to her as a whore needs to read the bible. He who is without sin amoung you, let him cast the first stone.
"lude" is not a word. jesus christ, buy a dictionary for God's sake.
What is wrong with you people? I can't believe how many of these commenters are so angry at the original poster. The person in the wrong here is the so-called nanny. I am a 22 year-old college student and not easily shockable but I wouldn't let her near my children or ANYONE'S children. I'm sure she's not a terrible person but I know the type. You can find her on any college campus. You really need to post a link to this person so she does not find employment as a nanny, ever, anywhere.
IF this is true, it's completely horrifying.
And while you're at it, you might want to find a new husband whose brain is not in his d!ck.
You do not pay that nanny enough to control her private life, do you understand that? Your children are not so important that you deserve to spy on and humiliate the woman you hired to watch your children and clean your house.
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