Monday, October 23, 2006
Daffy's again? I had never noticed this problem until today when I ran to Daffy's on my lunch hour. I understand a nanny running her errands during the day, some of them work very long hours; so please take this in the spirit is intended. The nanny wore leggings with fringed boots, had a very phony red color of hair with a french looking hat on. She was very definitely the nanny as I heard her complain to her friend about the child no less than 5 times. This nanny was anglo, she had very trendy nail polish on in a dark berry color. She was carrying a trendy hand bag. She had her text messaging device out the whole time. She was in charge of the care of not one but 2 children. A boy and girl close in age. The boy was so obviously used to being just dragged around and denied interaction. The girl was younger, probably a year and a half. The nanny made such comments as "these kids are such a headache" and "It's Monday, is it Friday yet, please tell me I don't have 5 more days of this crap". Never mind this was all said in plain earshot of the children. They stuck near her which was odd because she didn't seem to take any extraordinary measures to make sure this happened. The boy three times said he was tired. Twice he said his legs hurt from walking and twice he asked if he could take a nap. The nanny and her similarly dressed friend winced in the general direction of the child but didn't respond. They were too busy talking about the weekend and tonight and a new guy that she had hoped to seal the deal with tonight. The stroller the girls sat in was loaded up with other bags. This isn't errand running. This is dragging the children out for way too long to suit your own needs. The nanny was in no hurry. Why would she have been since she ignored every plea the boy made? She didn't give a rat's a$$ about those kids and I was so seriously angry that it was all I could do to refrain myself from slapping her across her ridiculously made up face. It is the misfortune of a child to be born to a narcissist, but why would any parent hire on to take care of her children?
26 comments:
This is horrendous. Those poor children. I hope their parents wise up. It sounds like the older child is old enough to communicate, so hopefully he can tell them what is going on and they will look into it.
anonymous -- knock it off with the "crybaby liberals" etc posts. It has nothing to do with anything. You're only making yourself look bad.
Why did you delete my comment?
Censorship is alive and well. What is the point of a comment forum if you are going to selectively choose who's opinions to express?
I am quite angry. I can only imagine who complained. The very people I dared to mention.
Why not instead deal with the fact that liberal minded people are entirely to relaxed about what matters both in America and at home.
Well, Censored, one of the things that matters in my home is spelling and grammar, neither of which you seem to have a grasp of.
This is not a political forum. There are thousands of forums out there where your rantings against liberals will be welcomed. Please go find one of those and leave us alone. We are here to talk about nanny sitings. Feel free to discuss those topics with us, but leave out the political diatribes and name calling.
Kudos to the blog owner for deleting blatant hate speech.
Daffys MUST be the place of choice for nannies to drag the poor kids. That and the Gap. I must admit I shop a lot in both stores at different locations and Never fail to see a Nanny shopping around the store with a bored and tired baby dragged along.
If you polled all of these nannies, how many are working for stay at home mothers? I would say 80 percent. And of that 80 percent, 90 percent of those work for SAHMS are so unbearable to be around (incompetence being such a major buzz kill) that the nannies flock in droves to anywhere they can get peace from the bokking chicken that is the beast of the employer. The remaing 10 percent work for SAHMS that require that their child be out of the home 7 hours a day. And trust me, they dont care whether the child is at the MET or sifting throught discount underwear bins at Filenes.
As a mother with no nanny, I care how my child spends her time. I also care who looks after her and how they spend their time with her. I do not allow people who do ont want my child around to look after my child, even if they are only passive-aggressive about it.
I recognize the importance of this site on real issues that deal with physical danger, as well as physical, mental, emotional, or sexual abuse. However, the majority of posts I have read to date seem to run along the lines of, the nanny acts like she would rather be elsewhere.
Well folks, that's work for you... most people would rather be elsewhere while at work, that's why you have to pay them to do it. Unfortunately, if you hire a nanny, in most cases your child becomes their job. It is rare to find a nanny that takes on a child as if they were one of their own.
It might be sad but it's the truth. If you want someone to really care about your children like they were one of your own, you have to care about your children like they were one of your own.
That means you have to be proactive... daily quiz your nanny about what they did, and don't be scared to ask for proof if you aren't sure. Ask your kids about the nanny when she isnt present... ANYTHING...
Just take an interest. Most people with half a brain that give half a darn can figure these things out for themselves, but you have to be paying attention to something other than your career, or whatever...
Yes, nannying is a job, but there are plenty of us out there who chose this profession because we love it. I have a degree in journalism and political science from a top tier university. I worked as a lobbyist in DC and as a reporter for an award-winning daily newspaper. I choose to nanny because I love children and I love what I do. I find it emotionally rewarding and fulfilling.
And there are plenty of nannies out there like me who genuinely love the children we care for and are happy with the career choices we made. We would never dream of complaining like this in front of the children. (Everyone has a bad day and needs to vent sometimes -- that's what friends or spouses are for.)
Parents need to be more careful who they hire. It's not just about background checks and making sure the nanny you hire isn't a criminal. Ask why she chooses to be a nanny, ask her references about her disposition and attitude, watch her interact with the children. There is a HUGE difference between hiring a professional nanny who loves her career and trying to save a few bucks by hiring someone who doesn't really want to be there and chooses to nanny because it's "easier" than working retail or food service.
Anyone who doesn't hire a carer nanny is settling.
I am a fulltime nanny who does all of the baby shopping as in food, clothes etc, in some cases his mother buys stuff but online in front of the computer, where as I have to take the baby to the store with me to get what ever he needs, so sometimes, when you people see nannies at the stores it's not always for ourselves. Sometimes we are doing the parents job of buying food and clothes for thier kids, because they would not make the effort to do it, so don,t be so quick to judge
Quick to judge? Daffys is a hoochie store. No empployer buys anything at Daffys. Except a gift certificate for the nanny for Christmas!
Daffy's carries Piazza Sempione, Jil Sander and I have also seen La Perla slips. I don't think hoochie. Wannabe fashionista! You probably have 2 pairs of Black pants that stand up by themselves!
I think the judgment is not in regards to the fact that the nanny is shopping -- in fact, I've seen multiple positive sightings where the poster praises the nanny for making an errand fun for the child. The disdain is for the fact that this nanny was cold and rude to the child and ignored repeated requests for rest. Filling a stroller with shopping bags and forcing a tired child to walk is unacceptable.
I do plenty of shopping for my employers and occassionally some for myself during work hours (my employers have no problem with this). Shopping isn't inherently evil. It is the standard of care given to the children during the shopping excursion that is problematic.
nannies should shop on their own time period. Are you allowed to shop while at work? I dont think so. What other job allows you to meet friends and drink coffee, shop and just plain outright sit around all day? Being a bad nanny.
The classism expressed on this board is shocking. For one of many examples, see above posts denigrating a store and those who shop there. When you are so destructive toward those whom you view as below you, you teach your children to be just like you and perpetuate your false superiority. Very sad.
All I'm saying is...
A lot of days I have a ton of errands to run and my 4 year old isn't always enthusiastic about our errands. A lot of times she will complain about having to run errands, and after a while of explaining to her and even arguing with her, sometimes the bect tactic is to just let them whine. Does that make me a bad parent? Or is it any more acceptable for me to run my child around with me while I run errands just because she is my own child?
If you have specifically asked your nanny not to run errands with your child, or have specifically asked your nanny to only do stimulating activities with your child, and you pay them accordingly, well that's a whole other ball of wax, but this may not have been the case.
As a previous child minder, I know firsthand that a lot of parents who hire outsiders to look after their children are not so picky. Many of them are too busy to worry about what the child spends their time doing, as long as they are safe and looked after.
Finding a nanny that truly cares takes a lot of time and effort because while as virtuous as a good nanny is, she is also a rare find. Many parents don't take the time because they feel they don't have it... or they just don't care about it as long as the basics are covered (safety and supervision)
I am really tired of the poster who comments on "classism" again and again and again. This is a board about bad nanny sightings. The nannies in question tend to not even be real professional nannies. So we are really looking at a domestic servant. That is what they are called. Do you really think that there is no such thing as a class system in America? Just stop with your nonsense, it isn't relevant. There is a class system. To continue pretending otherwise is a bit like battling invisible frogs.
It is ridiculous to say that someone is a "bad nanny" simply because she occassionally shops or runs errands while on duty. In almost every other profession, employees get a lunch hour, coffee breaks, etc. Most nannies work 10-12 hour days (I often work 24 hours shifts, even) with absolutely no time off. We can't just leave work on our lunch hour to run to the post office. If I were never allowed to run errands while at work, I would have to call off in order to run errands because banks and post offices, etc, are very rarely open when I am off duty. This would be a hardship for my employers because they would have to find someone to cover for me.
Good employers understand that and are happy to let their nannies run errands WITHIN REASON. Here is where the problem unfolds. If I take my charges to story time at the bookstore, there is nothing wrong with me having a cup of coffee while I'm there or browsing the books for a few minutes, assuming the children are happy and within my sight. It is NOT okay for me to dump them at story time and wander off or for me to spend hours browsing while they whine and cry.
Person that is tired of postings about class: I would agree that we do have a class-based society. My point in my above post (my first on class, btw) was that it is discouraging that those who view themselves as superior to others have to make such ugly and demeaning comments to and about those they view as inferior. It's rude, and it teaches hatred and intolerance.
how many people would put up w/a job where they didn't get a single meal break or 15 minute break. i think most people would consider that to be a bit outrageous but that is the case w/nannies. i'm not saying that we can't find 5 minutes to quickly get something down but it can be hard to get in a little breather.
some people think that watching children is an easy job and that there is a lot of "down time" but most people who have worked in this career field will reassure you that this is not the case. with older kids there is no nap time for the children and while most of the good employers ask that you put the children first they almost ALL ask that when there is a break in the day that you do light housekeeping and tidy up. i'm not saying that this is a bad thing but this is just to show that there is always SOMETHING for us to do. it may be a little easier at times when working w/an infant but you must still always be on the alert and OBVIOUSLY this is not a job where you can leave to take a break.
the family i used to work for was great but if they had a date night and there would be down time while the kids were in bed the mom would ALWAYS save that week's laundry for that day and leave me 2 huge hampers full of laundry (4-5 large loads) to fold as well as a huge stack of dishes for me to wash and put away. i understand wanting to get your moneys worth and i usually didn't mind but some days i would be so tired and overworked from the long work week that just viewing the huge loads of laundry would make me want to cry (especially frustrating since i KNEW that she saved them for me since i overheard her talking to her friend about it and also because she was a stay at home mom w/children in school part time and her schedule was pretty open most of the day so it isn't as if she couldn't have folded one or two loads through out the entire week. also frustrating was if i folded the laundry at night obviously i couldn't put it away since the kids were sleeping in their rooms and if it was a friday i would come back on monday to find that she'd left the folded clothes in the basket all weekend so that i could put them away when i came back to work).
i think most parents know what it can be like to spend all day w/a child and still have to cook and clean and i'm sure many think that if they did all that AND got paid for it then hey it's a pretty sweet deal, what is there to complain about? but at the same time being a parent it is totally different than being a nanny. like a mom i really love the kids (and please don’t think that we aren’t capable of REALLY loving your child since they’re not “ours” because that is ridiculous. is you close friend incapable of loving your child? or a foster/adoptive parent not able to love a child in their care? I specifically chose this career even knowing the large downside to it because i LOVE children in general and once i get to know your kids, yes, i will specifically love them. though i’m considering switching my occupation to become a teacher since even though i have the exact same credentials in either job people seem to think i don’t deserve respect as a nanny. treat me w/the same courtesy you would treat your child’s teacher! which i may be some day…). i work w/and i worry about them. but from there it changes. i think some moms will understand feeling unappreciated for all of the work you do at home but imagine how it would be if you had people watching you all the timeeven though you've never done anything wrong, no husband/family members to pass the kids off to when you get to the breaking point, someone snidely pointing out that you left 2 cheerios stuck to your childs highchair, having to abide by other people's decisions when you spend more time with the child than they do and people getting defensive when you merely suggest something (i don't know how many times people have looked down their nose at me and said they knew better because they had children and i haven't. yes, i know there is a difference and i totally think that mother's intuition is pretty reliable but just LISTEN. i'm not saying you're a "bad parent" or trying to force my views down your throat...i'm just saying that from my experience having worked w/over 30 children total on a daily basis for the past however many years i've been able to observe many different behaviors, reactions, learning methods in different children and since i spend everyday w/your child and have a good feel for your child i'm just saying you might want to THINK about trying this or that).
i guess what i'm trying to say is DON'T put up w/any sketchy nannies and DON'T feel that it is unreasonable to expect the best from your nanny.
but understand, also, that your nanny is not superwoman. she may be able to shoulder a lot but please keep in mind that she is a person too w/her own house to clean, bills to pay and errands to run and many places that she may need to stop at are closed by the time she gets off work and are closed or closed early on the weekends. as long as your child is being well taken care of and is still enjoying themselves during the short outing is it any real hardship to let her pop by the post office or quickly pickup a gift for a friend's birthday? think about it. her days off are the ONLY time your nanny gets a break and if she has to spend all of that time running errands (and we all know how errands can eat up a day) you basically have a stressed out person who will burn out quickly. i'm not expecting you to go out of your way to accomodate your employee i'm just saying to treat them w/respect and trust them to use their best judgement (if you don't trust their judgement maybe this person shouldn't be working w/your children). take care of the people who take care of what should be one of the (if not THE) most important part of your life.
wow that was lengthy. And I mean no disrespect but if you are good at what you do, opportunities exist for real and professional nanny positions. I guarantee you no one is leaving "hampers" full of clothing for a professional nanny. I employ a professional nanny. She doesn't do laundry and if I don't think I would have respect for any "nanny" who did.
Oh, Please believe me. some employers are like that.
Amen, long poster, amen.
Some employers might be like that. But if you sign your name as "doormat", that is your own fault and you will have problems no matter what profession you work in.
The 8:03 poster is an absolute moron and is probably the same axxhole yelling about the nanny eating ice cream "on the clock" so she damn well better be nice about it. Obviously it has never spent 5 minutes alone with an awake toddler, and doesn't realize you can't just send the child into sleep mode, shut their lid, leave them sitting on the desk and come back to them after you've had your 30 minute lunchbreak.
I am glad that Annie brought up the fact that most nannies don't get a break. It's true that we work sometimes up to 12 hour shifts or longer.
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