.... WHAT?!
Feature Ad:
1) Demon child and Anti-Christ ISO Mary Poppins (Illinois)
We are in search of a hearty woman who is a glutton for punishment. We have not one, but two boys who are full of action to leave you shuddering all night. To top of this wonderful entourage, we introduce, the teenager! Yes, the spawn whom will change clothes, hair, make up, boyfriends, best friends, and moods every hour on the hour. You must be willing to come to our abode and watch our spawns. You must have a car, license, excellent driving record, for you must have a way to escape if and when necessary. If you are really self loathing, we are considering a live in position also.
Spawn #1 is about 9 human years old. He will leave his lair by 8 to go scare and harrass the neighborhood teachers and kids. He will return to the lair just after 3. He will by this time be hungry and ready to devour you as soon as he walks in the door. He will feign illness to prevent from doing the work his teachers beg him to do only after they feel as if they may live after encountering him.
Spawn #2 is about 3 human years old and will gross you out as he urinates on himself only AFTER you have asked him 1000 times if he needs to go potty. This spawn will change his eating and sleeping habits hourly. He may have liked Pop Tarts yesterday morning, but they are human waste today. Spawn #2 OWNS everything. He owns the house, the cars, the toys, the televisions, me, and he will own you too. This one doesn't like to share but you must hold your ground and teach him. We will pray for your soul as you attempt this feat.
Spawn #3 doesn't really need to be watched much. This spawn is 13 human years old and you just have to let her know she has homework and check it when she is done. This spawn hates Math and struggles with it, so you must be able to do 7th grade Math!!! You will NOT do it for her, but you will help her so that she may be able to count her victims correctly.
These Spawns also have a minion. The minion barks when people come to the door to warn off intruders. The minion is medium sized and very lovable. I believe the minion may be our only hope at survival.
I am a keeper of these Spawns. In us, you will find fearing, but loyal and loving parents who want the best for our little demons. They are not perfect but we love them dearly. We hope that even you can look beyond their red eyes, horns, and tails, and learn to love them too!
Original URL: http://stlouis.craigslist.org/kid/1340736465.html
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2) Babysitter Survivor! Do you have what it takes? (Chicago)
Have you ever wanted to play Survivor? Well, here is your chance. If you are up to the challenge, come to the island and test your skill at Babysitter Survivor! Do you have what it takes to Outwit, Outplay, and Outlast a six year old little boy? Will you form and alliance with his three year old brother? Are you sure that is a smart move, or will the mother-babysitter alliance prove to be stronger? Challenges? Oh yes, there will be severe challenges during every episode; at least one and sometimes many many more! What fun! Will you be hungry? Yes! Will you be tired? Hell yes! But, at least the water supply has been found and it is clean. Will you need mops, towels, and possibly the shirt off you back to sop it all up? Possibly. If you think you can wrangle with 'YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!' and 'YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!' and many more old favorites, come and give the game a try. Three babysitters before you have fallen, will you be the one to survive?
Here's the data:
Location: West Loop
Hours: VERY PART TIME! 4-8 hours per week; mid-mornings to early afternoon preferred. Tuesdays/Thursdays are preferred; never Wednesdays, that's when Grandma gives it a shot.
Also occasional nights and weekends.
Pay: It is pretty good.
Not for the faint of heart, easily intimidated, or general sweethearts. SOFTIES NEED NOT APPLY!
If you think you have what it takes, please get a message to me immediately. I am currently on exile island and I need the support.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/kid/1357175778.html
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3) WILL BABYSIT .95 PER HR WHILE YOU GO TO CLASSES OR PART TIME WORK (Florida)
CHILD CARE PROVIDER WITH OVER 10 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE! I have an awesome recent reference from the Mom of an 18 month old girl I did this for! I watched her much of the day providing lunch and snacks, regular diaper changes, nap time, & fun activities including reading her stories and playing barbies. I watched her for less than $1 an hour while her Mom went to classes to further her education. I want to do that again for someone and am available any hours between 6:30 AM and 2 PM, Monday through Friday. ONLY .95 PER HOUR! No extra charge if still in diapers! Among my references you can talk to the parents of 3 children (3 girls ages 5, 6 & 7) I have cared for right here in Milton. I HAVE BEEN A VERY RELIABLE TRUSTWORTHY NANNY! I was full time nanny for a family that includes a 4 year old girl and 20 mo old boy I did EVERYTHING for and I have a reference from them saying how great I was with their kids. Before that I did total care for 4 children - 2 girls ages 5 & 10 and 2 boys 8 and 11. They will also provide a reference for me! Safety is of utmost importance. Children's CPR COURSE completion! I create activities in a safe environment for all ages, and they all relate to me because I'm patient, caring, fun-loving, attentive to their needs, and very compassionate. I'm not one of those heavy drinker types, don't smoke and do not use drugs or profanity! I am a clean living trustworthy Christian man, caucasion 40+ that has lived happily with and has watched all ages of children. I get along well with everyone regardless of age, ethnicity, etc. I am a good listener and problem solver. Please reply with details of your situation and how I can help you and any questions. If you feel we have probable compatibility enought to talk to me further I will be happy to forward through email past references and arrange for you to talk to the family in Milton with the 3 girls.
Original URL: http://pensacola.craigslist.org/kid/1353380267.html
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4) Super Sitter Parent Reliever (D.C.)
Last minute event?
In desperate need of a girls night?
Just nabbed tickets to the Nationals or Caps game?
Haven't had a meal with your spouse that didn't include chicken nuggets with ketchup? (Hey at least you've switched to organic) :)
You need me, the parent reliever. I am a mature, 28 year old super sitter. I have several years experience with children of all ages. I enjoy engaging in fun activities with children so they can look forward to sitter time. While you enjoy some much needed downtime, I can make the kids feel like the reason you went out is so they can have the time of their lives! Have you made Friday night movie night? I bring tickets and make a mock ticket and concession stand for a real movie experience. Do your kids enjoy arts and crafts? I have tons of project ideas! Kids always ask for me to come back. Overall, I'm trustworthy, can provide references and a background check. I look forward to hearing from exhausted parents shortly.
Original URL: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/kid/1351242119.html
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5) HELP!!! Need sick care for child in my home (Norfolk)
Hello there!! Looking for someone to possibly babysit in my home. My child may be too sick for daycare tommorow, maybe a couple days. And I can't take off work again. Please send me rates. Highschool student maybe?? Thank you!
Original URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1352957401.html
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6) MOTHER'S HELPER/BABYSITTING (Norfolk)
HI MY NAME IS CONNIE AND I AM STAYED HOME MOM. I AM OFFERING BABYSITTING SERVICES. WE ARE A CHRISTIAN FAMILY....WE ARE DEVOTED TO GOD AND OUR FAMILY. WE HAVE A 2 YEAR OLD WHO WE ARE TRYING TO RAISE HIM TO BE A LITTLE MAN AFTER GOD'S OWN HEART. WE ARE VERY BLESSED TO LIVE IN A VERY NICE HOME AND NEIGHBORHOOD...YOU WILL FEEL CONFORTABLE BRINGING YOUR CHILD HERE. WE HAVE A SAFE AND STRUTURE ENVIRONMENT. YOUR CHILD WILL BE EXPOSED TO CHRISTIAN VALUES AND LEARN SPANISH AS WELL. GOD HAS GIVEN ME THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING ABLE TO STAY HOME WITH MY LITTLE ONE...I PRAY I AM A BLESSING TO ANOTHER CHILD. I AM ONLY LOOKING TO TAKE CARE OF ONE TO TWO KIDS SO THAT I CAN PROVIDE FOCUS ATTENTION. I TEACH PRE-SCHOOL TO OUR SON IN OUR HOME. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED CONTACT ME @ (757) 777-**** GOD BLESS!!!
Original URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1352996677.html
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7) Grandma Needed!! (Minneapolis)
Looking for someone to keep the lazy boy warm, and hold baby boy. I work in my home, and just need my hands and lap free for a few hours a day. So open to someone older... someone that wants to watch tv, listen to music, or read a book while they hold, cuddle, talk to, and bottle feed 6 week old baby. Pay is horrible, but baby is very, very cute! Looking for someone local and happy to baby sit in my home. Must be non-smoker, be ok with cats in the house, and have a interest in spending some time holding, and spoiling a baby for a few hours a day. Call to interview. (715) 821-**** Compensation: Pay is possible, duties are light.
Original URL: http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/wsh/dmg/1353526669.html
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8) Babysitter Wanted (Norfolk)
Hi there. I am currently looking for childcare for my 2 children. my son is 4 and my daughter is 2. My son is 80% potty trained, he is special needs so he needs to be monitors with that * will explain when found the right person. I got to school full time at TCC and take two classes two nights a week for about 3 hours each day. I don't ever have time to myself hardly it seems like, but moving on. I am in the midst of having tons of drs appt lately over the next couple months. I am looking to start tomorrow maybe. I am a stay at home all the other times.Its just for a few hours a week less than 8 (for school). If doctor appts are needed, it will be no more than 3. Must have references. Thanks, Lynn
Original URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1351787572.html
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9) ISO Part Time OCD cleaner, organizer, personal assistant, babysitter (PA)
Ok the OCD part was a bit of a joke, but if you are a little OBSESSIVE about keeping things clean and spotless that wouldn't be such a bad thing. I am seeking someone (preferably a woman) to help me with everything and anything for apx. 10 hours a week. I would say 50% of your job will be cleaning/organizing my house (its very clean now, no scary mess to walk into) The other hours could include everything from babysitting (I have 1 19 month old daughter), to errand running, to helping me plan/decorate for parties, maybe putting away laundry, assisting me in the kitchen ect. No lazy people please. Looking for an upbeat, can do personality. Looking for someone who learns quickly and works efficiently. I am VERY flexible and easy going, but i have high expectations. Please write me back if you think this sounds like you. Someone local would be great, please have your own transportation.
Original URL: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/dmg/1356388288.html
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10) Live-in Sitter WV Apartment 8+ hours $0-$15/hr (New York)
Sitting hours for our three year old child:
Tuesday is only from 4-7:30 PM (3.5 hours)
and Wednesday is 6-8 PM (2 hours).
and Friday is 12PM-2PM (2 hours).
Total is 7.5 - 8 hours total
These hours include room and board but no pay.
Minimal communal meal prep contribution required.
Ideal person will be neat, communicate clearly, report babysitting experiences thoroughly,
use their room primarily, schedule bathroom time, lead a busy student or artistic life,
reside with us Mon-Thu and have a weekend retreat or alternative residence.
If weekend room is required, we can arrange in exchange for 8 additional babysitting hours.
Extra hours are available and will be paid at $15 / hour. Impeccable references required.
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/dmg/1355497383.html
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.... HOW MUCH?!
11) Need Babysitter (Crown Point/Chicago)
Hi, We are looking for a babysitter to come to my house in Lake of Four Seasons ( or your house). We are looking for someone mature and experience with newborns. I am planning on going back to work sometime in October and I need someone that I can Trust to take care of my baby. It will be Monday - Friday 7a- 5p ( I should be home no later than 430p). If you are selected we will run a background check. We are looking Pay $120 a week. Please contact me if you are interested for more information. Serious inquiries only please.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/kid/1348924631.html
*Several responses from angry CL readers:
12) RE: Need Babysitter in Crown Point (Chicago)
It's this posting some kind of a joke . $120 for full week ,10 hours a day ,so that's $2.40/hr.
do you know what's the minimum hourly pay is? If you can't afford babysitter you should be just staying at home mom. Working for you people will be just a waste of time
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/kid/1349287620.html
13) RE: Need Babysitter in Crown Point (Chicago)
AMEN TO THAT!!!! Either don't work and stay home or you shouldn't have had kids if you wanted to continue working!!! Everyone wants a FREE ride when it comes to childcare!!!! The parents want to work and make all the money but don't want to dish anything out to the people that are actually caring for their children!! So in other words they are saying their children aren't worth much!!! Why don't the people who only want to pay pebbles respond to this...........oh thats right, because its the hard TRUTH!!!!! And we all know the truth can be hard to hear!!McDonalds pays more than these parents want to and that is SAD!!!
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/kid/1349385604.html
14) RE: Once again dear Babysitter needed in CP (Chicago)
How many times are you going to try to post your pathetic ad on craigslist before you realize that NO ONE (no not even that 18 year old girl down the street) is going to watch a infant or any age child for that matter for under 3 bucks an hour. That rate is insulting and should you find somone willing to accept I would be more than a little worried for your little one. After all the good childcare givers with skill and experience would never ever consider you someone who would respect them enough to be a potential employer.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/kid/1349566852.html
15) RE: I must agree! (CP/Chicago)
I am along with the many other posters about childcare rates!! Our children are supposed to mean more to us than those fancy cars we drive, fancy vacations & expensive purses and manicures!! I've seen it way too many times! Mother's who don't want to be inconvenienced by their children! Childcare is not the place in your budget to be skimpy on! Just like anything else in this world, you get what you pay for!! I am a stay at home mom because...I would rather give up on some of the luxeries in order to raise my babies right! I understand that some women don't have a choice but to work, but atleast respect your caregiver!!! There are many women in this world who can & will provide wonderful care for YOUR children, but expecting them to do it for under $2/hr is an insult!!! Think about that as you are soaking your feet during your next pedicure!!
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/kid/1349865875.html
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16) Help with infant for room and board (Chicago)
Evening Infant care for Room and Board. We have an infant on the way and are offering room and board for someone willing to change or feed our new baby on the nite shift. We have a lovely apartment overlooking Belmont Harbor and for someone good with kids that needs a place to live for free such as a student or daytime employed person, this could be great. Call Bill or Carolyn 312 953 ****
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/dmg/1352496653.html
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17) Full time 2nd shift Experienced Daycare Teacher needed (Milwaukee)
We are currenly seeking to hire a full time experienced second shift daycare teacher. You must be able to handle children which means to be stern and direct with them without being mean. School aged children can be hard to deal with and not everyone can handle it. You must have all your entry level childcare coursework completed and up to date. You must also have a semi clean background. You must be neat and clean. You must arrive to work on time and everyday. Tardiness and absenteeism is highly frowned upon. Weekend work is required however it is not every weekend. If your interested in this position please call 414-384-**** and ask for Monicka for more information.
Original URL: http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/edu/1354696734.html
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18) MTF 7am until 5:30 or 6:00pm (Milwaukee)
I'm looking for a reliable babysitter/nanny 3 days a week from 7am until 5:30PM-6pm. The job is Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. I have 3 kids. A 4 year old, 3 year old and a 1 year old. You will be feeding my kids breakfast and lunch with a afternoon snack. I really am looking for someone who my kids can get to know and not leave after a few months. CPR is a must and teaching is my priority as well as play. I don't want them watching TV all day. We live in Cedarburg WI. The position can be at my house or yours if you live locally. I am married. We have no pets. Pay is $120.00 - $140.00 a week, cash every Friday. Please provide references. Looking for a non-smoker. Start Date is beginning of Oct. Needs reliable transportation if it is at my house. Background check and drug screen will be done. Serious Inquires please. Thanks
Original URL: http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/kid/1355960019.html
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19) Seeking Babysitter (Sacramento)
Seeking a babysitter for 2 yound children. 5 and 2 years old. Unfortunetly I cannot pay too much. I am thinking 100.00 a month/ 25.00 a visit. I would like someone that is willing to come on friday nights at 9 until 3 at the latest. Just so my roommate and I can get out. the time may change but i wouldl ike the kids to be asleep before you come. It is just easier. Please be CPR and first aid certified, or knowledge of. Must have transportation in case of emergency, and a cell phone. If you are interested, please email me ans let me know. I hope to hear from you soon.
Original URL: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/kid/1352107850.html
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20) Wanted: Infant Child Care (Chicago)
We are looking for someone to look after our little girl on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from 7:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. She is 10 months old and, so far, is a dream to care for. We are looking for someone in the $25 to $35 per day range. I can provide references from her last care provider that can attest to what an easy baby she is. I live in Bolingbrook and work in Lisle and would like to find someone along my commute. Please contact me if this sounds like a good fit for you. Thank you!
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/kid/1350229727.html
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21) I am in need of Childcare @ my home (Chicago)
I have three children, a 5yrs old who is going to kindergarten, a 2yrs old that might be going to pre-kindergarten and a 1yr old. This need will be suitable for someone who loves interaction with children all day no house work except for feeding the kids and watching the children in school bus pick-up and drop off stop. Making sure the children is safe. If the rate of $1000 a month is duable for you, please send me an email or contact number. It will be from monday to friday yet the hours is not set yet. it would probably be a 9 to 10hr a day. Your food and refreshment is included. Only ones that are serious about this ad send an email. Thanks
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/kid/1339469390.html
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22) Part time Nanny needed (Utah)
I am a stay at home mom and I need a help for my son. I have only one child who just turned 1 year old. I want somebody to come to my house and take care of him 2-3times a week (such as Monday, Thursday, Saturday) , 12pm to 8pm. I would want to pay $30/ day. I am little bit flexible with dates and hours. Please feel free to contact me. Thanks
Original URL: http://saltlakecity.craigslist.org/kid/1353998972.html
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23) Nanny wanted for Single Professional Mom in Mclean (D.C.)
I am looking for a nanny for my two children ages 3 months and 4 years. I work in the hotel industry and I am currently looking for someone who is reliable and able to come to my home on a daily basis and watch the children. This person must have the following qualifications and be able to work within the following perameters:
*Excellent References
*Extended Experience working with children
*Hours will be from 7:30am-6:30pm, but must be flexible with overtime if needed
*Flexibility with weekends as needed (will know well in advance)
*Bilingual Spanish and English and able to teach the children Spanish
*Light housekeeping only to include cleaning up behind the children and maybe washing a load of the baby's soiled clothes
*Reliable Transportation with Excellent Driving record
*Must be able to provide learning activities for part of the day for the 4 year old, not expected to be a teacher
but something to keep my 4 year old active as she is currently in daycare and used to routine and stimulation
*Able to take the children to the library, playdates, etc in the area
The pay that I am offering is $350 per week. I will also be willing to buy and pay for a cell phone for the nanny as well as offer an additional $50 per month for gas to take the children to various places, maybe once a week. Total Pay will be $1450 per month, plus a cell phone bill and overtime that will be negotiated for late nights and weekends. If interested please e-mail me and leave a best number that you can be reached at.
Original URL: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/kid/1354258805.html
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24) need babysitter ASAP tonite (Sacramento)
greetings! I only have 20 bucks for any girl/college student that would like to babysit my twins tonite while me and my boyfriend go out for a couple of hours,I would most likely want you to come over once i put them to sleep so you really arent doin anything.they are the best sleepers and never wake up. I would like to meet you first, and if you have a boyfriend or friend I might let you bring them as well i just need to meet you to make sure you are a good fit. Possibly, if things go good i might need you some more. We are knew to sac and would loooove a nite to ourselves =) we live off of edison and bell in apts, please get back to me asap if you are interested! thanks molly
Original URL: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/kid/1358650701.html
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25) Newborn needs a sitter (Seattle)
HELP! I need to go back to work in a few weeks, but I need a little bit of help with my sweet baby. Would need to be available evenings, nights, and weekends with a lot of flexiblity as our needs change on a weekly basis. Mostly this is a part time thing a few hours a few days a week, less than 20hours most of the time. Can negotiate the place ours or yours. Must have experience, must be qualified to care for infants, must have simple understanding of medicine dispension and comprehension of how to prepare frozen breast milk.
This is a really easy job, you might need to change a few diapers and give only one to two bottles per day. Prefer someone who is understanding of Attachment Parenting (or at least willing to learn/understand), and is willing to work within these guidelines for her care (i.e. no letting baby "cry it out", lots of holding and nurturing). Must not smoke or do drugs around baby! Pierced, alternative lifestyles, crazy hair are all okay!
The job wouldn't start until the end of September, but I would like to start interviewing now. Must have references!!!! Please call any day after 10am or e-mail with questions. two five three three three two **** Compensation: Rates are negotiabale DOE and location varying from $100-200 per week. ask for Salena
Original URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/dmg/1359309648.html
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Special thanks to the following 2 Readers who found our Feature Ad: alexismoqo and Bint Ethel... Great job to the both of you! Also, thank you to: noreply-comment, Lesacalisch, afnt81, MissDee, Cinder38 and Utah Nanny... you found some awesome Ads this week and we really appreciate all of your help! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.
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