I have school aged children who ask a lot of questions. We live outside the Baltimore area and my children have had a lot of questions about the protests, riots and unrest in the city. Because of their age, I answered their question as honestly as possible but with the goal of making them feel safe. At 6 & 8, they don't have the ability to comprehend the expanse of social conditions and issues that are at play here.
The nanny however has given the children more in depth answers, such as "they are not doing wrong, they are doing the only thing they can to express themselves and they can't stop until the police stop killing black men." I am not getting in to the opinions of the rioting, because as stated, my children are 6 & 8. Believe me when I say I am raising my children to be respectful of all cultures and people, but I don't want her to continue on with this banter. It has been going on for over a week.
My 8 year old told me, "Bunny told me that cops don't kill bad guys, they like to hurt black people because nobody cares," and "Bunny said it doesn't matter if I am polite to an police officer or not or rob a bank, he doesn't want to kill me because I am white."
After I attempted to address this with the nanny this morning, she became verbally aggressive and told me, "you can't have the news on and not give your children the facts." I suggested in a calm voice, "We don't have the facts yet." She responded, also in a raised voice, "What more facts do you need, another black man is dead". After that, I tried to change the conversation completely to the day's schedule. When I was going over things with her, she would only say, "uh hum" in an obviously perturbed way. She wouldn't even look at me. What did I do wrong here? Don't most families have the news on television? Don't most parents break the news down for their children in the most age appropriate ways? I am really upset that she yelled in front of my children and that she cannot put her feelings for the situation aside for the time she is at work, in rural suburbia enough for my children to feel safe, but I feel like she wants to hold all of us responsible.
I am a single mother and our nanny has been with us for 14 months.
Email isynblog@gmail.com
