Book Marks Story Time in the Northpark Mall in Dallas, TX

Hi, I am a nanny here in the great state of Texas, Dallas Texas to be exact. I have been a nanny for more than 15 years and recently I have been attending Book Marks Story Time in the Northpark Mall in Dallas. First, let me start by saying the story time is great, if you or your nanny are able to take the children, you should, it's fun, interesting and educational. Or at least it's meant to be for those who are in tune with their children and those in their care.

Now, for the meat of my story! I am not very familiar with Latino nannies, but, since I have moved here to Dallas I am getting a first hand look into the daily lives of these nannies and the children who are left in their care. Today, March 30, 2011, my charge and I arrived at Northpark at 10:00 a.m. which we normally do each Wednesday. As usual I noticed the several groups of Latino/Hispanic nannies arriving with their charges in tow. What is so odd about this you might ask, well they all show up, they remove the children from the strollers and then they walk off to the outer areas of the group where they carry on conversations, text, talk on phones, read books, do everything except for what they need to be doing. They totally turn off any resemblance of being a nanny or child care provider.

Today was oddly a little more chaotic than normal because today the Critter Man was at the mall with real live animals. Interesting you think? Well, of course it was interesting, very interesting that there were 10 children standing in front of Critter Man who were asked no less than 20 times to sit down and move back. These animals were snakes, lizards, turtles, you know, things with teeth, animals that bite! There were children as young as 12 months wandering around in front of the Critter Man alone, no one was watching, no one cared that he was concerned for their safety and concerned that the other children who were being attended to could not see because of these out of control children. One little girl fell, hit the back of her head on the hard tile floor, do you think the nanny saw what happened? Nope! Do you think the nanny could hear the distinct cry of a child who was injured? Nope! No one came, no one heard until finally one of the other Moms in the group picked up the child. Same thing happened all during the presentation, other adults had to move children, sit children down, entertain children who were NOT being attended to by their nannies.

How do I know these are nannies you might ask, well, I have been a nanny for more than 15 years and let me tell you, I know a nanny when I see one, and, I know a good one from a bad one. I even witnessed one nanny bullying her charge. The little girl wanted so badly to hold onto a handle on the parachute that was out for play, she kept grabbing for it and her nanny kept pulling her hand off and then raising the parachute handle out of her reach and she would smile, like it was funny, like it was amusing to her that the little girl wanted nothing more than her Mommy or Daddy, someone to help her. It is scary, unsettling, upsetting and really makes my blood boil.

What is one to do? Can I help these children? Can I help these families and their nannies? I think I can, I want the word out there, I want parents to know what is going on when your most prized possession is out for the day with the person you hired to care for them, love them and educate them, but most of all, don't you want your nanny to love your child as much as you do? Don't you want your nanny to teach your child right from wrong, love and trust?

Here is what I would like ALL of you parents to do. I want you all to take a break from your busy schedule one day, I want you to come to Northpark Mall and come in thru the upstairs level, you know above the Park Central where story time takes place. Come in, have a seat up there, get your eye on your nanny and your child and then see if you think you are making the best decision for your family. I know it's appealing to hire a nanny who works for a mere $8 an hour and she will clean, cook, run errands and take care of your children, but really, is it worth it?

I know first hand, I am a mother to a 6 year old and a nanny to a 2 year old and a 5 year old. When my charges grow up, they will look back and know I cared for them as I would have cared for my own child because I have had the education and experience to do so. Are you going to sit back and let this continue? I urge you, take a break and watch one day, you will be surprised at the lack care you are paying for!

Lane Road library in Upper Arlington, Ohio

This morning at the Lane Road library in Upper Arlington, Ohio, I saw a nanny with two young boys, J (around 18 months) and E (around 3). The boys had dark curly hair and dark eyes. The nanny was tall, a red head and wore a black fleece jacket. They walked in right as story time was starting and were taking off coats and hats near my charge and I. The nanny was rough with both of them, pulling their arms and even saying to E, "(cut it out or)...I'll bust you up." E even repeated his words to himself.

After story time, she ignored her charge as he repeatedly took other children's toys, pushed and climbed over me and a very pregnant mom, who he kicked quite hard in his attempt. The mom and I tried to gently help our respective toddlers with him, but the nanny never looked up. She had them dressed back in coats and hats while they played, and sweated, for about 20 minutes.
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More identifying information is available privately should the Parents believe this sighting is about their children.

How Should Nanny Give Notice?

Question about how to give notice: I have been working for this family for 10 months now, infant twins. Up until a two months ago, things were pretty great - I was feeling like a valued part of the family, and there was a great friendly rapport between the three of us. An instance occurred where they had to change my hours starting the next week, something I had no idea was even possibly going to happen, and something that would affect me significantly.

Long story short, the subsequent conversations got emotional, on both ends, and I was told repeatedly that I am the employee and that means they get to tell me when they need me and what to do while I'm in their employ (meaning housework beyond child related duties) no matter what we originally agreed upon. This obviously rubbed me the wrong way and I have been trying to get up the courage to figure out how to leave them since then.

I would like to make April my last month with them, and am trying to decide how to tell them, when to tell them, and how much notice to give.

I do not believe they will act out toward me, but in reading the other stories like this, I'm scared to give them too much notice. This Friday is payday and I plan to tell the mom that day after my shift, in person. Or, I could wait until the next payday, which will give them two weeks notice. The other option would be to send an email once I get home after my shift and not do it in person, but I feel this would be strange in our situation...

I know they will press me for details about why I am leaving. I'm planning to just say that it is too much for me physically anymore (because it actually really is - I have some physical issues which have been exacerbated since starting this job, and I'm not going to get another nanny job, I have a small business that I am building which will support me) and reassure them repeatedly that it has nothing to do with anything else, even though in reality it really does...

So, what are your thoughts and suggestions? Thanks!!!

Woman Accused of Locking 3 Kids Inside Car in Roxbury

ROXBURY, Mass. -- A woman in Roxbury is accused of locking three young children in a car.

Boston police say they found witnesses crying out of helplessness when they arrived at a blue minivan in a Roxbury shopping center parking lot.

Inside the vehicle were two 1-year-old girls and a 3-year-old boy. They were sweating profusely, their faces were red and they were hot to the touch. Police say they had been locked up in the car for at least 35 minutes.

“We look in the car and there was three infants in the car, so we said, ‘Where’s the mom?’ Nobody knew,” said Maria Gonzales, witness.

Witnesses called Boston police while an announcement echoed inside some of the stores.

“Asking who was the owner of the blue van - but they didn’t explain anything, they just left,” said Nilo Gomez, witness.

“And the next thing you know she came out,” said Gonzales. “I asked her myself, I said, ‘Can you open your door so the kids can breathe?’ So she opened the door.”

Police removed the children to a Boston EMS ambulance while they questioned 35-year-old Nicole Burton, who they identified as the nanny of the children.

Witnesses say she had been shopping inside the Hair & Gold store.

“I said to myself, ‘That must not be their mom.’ Because moms wouldn’t do that to their babies,” said Gonzales.

Burton talked on her cell phone as two Boston police officers placed her under arrest.

She has been charged with abuse, neglect of a child risking bodily injury.

“It’s sad. You go to work thinking your kids are okay but then you don’t know what’s happening with these people watching your kids these days,” said Gonzales. “That’s very, very sad.”

Police say the children were released to their father and the case has been referred to the Department of Children and Families.
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TO SEE VIDEO: Please Click Here

There is a nanny in the Dallas Fort Worth area whose name is Catherine J*** and goes by other names such as Cathy J*** or Cynthia C***. Please do not hire her! She is a con-woman and a major fraud. She will get in and give very good references. She will work with you for a while before she starts stealing your identity. She has done this on multiple occasions to families in the Dallas Fort Worth area. She lives in Garland,TX. She is from Belize and is aged between 32-35 yrs. She is 5 foot 4 inches tall and Hispanic looking. She has a white car with Illinois registration. There have been multiple police complaints filed in her name. Her facebook page is: available by request.

Queens, NY into Manhattan

Great nanny sighting, Queens, NY into Manhattan. Thursday March 24, around 1pm. N/Q train from Astoria/Ditmars Blvd to Times Square.

Nanny: Very pretty and put together- mid 20s, South Asian- possibly Sri Lankan, well dressed but casual with aviator sunglasses and hair pulled back
Charge: Blonde little girl, 16-20 months old. black fur-trimed puffy jacket and navy blue folding stroller with teddy bears on it.

Everyone on the subway noticed how well the nanny and charge got along. While kids on the subway usually drive me nuts, this experience left a huge smile on my face. Nanny spoke quietly and as if to an intelligent adult to her charge (I personally really appreciate when children are not talked down to), and charge was actively engaged in a 'conversation' with the nanny for the entire time I was on the train. When Nanny took the little girl out of her stroller and sat her on her lap, the charge hugged her nanny tight, said 'I love you!' while the nanny snuggled her and fixed the baby's hair while chatting with her. She was by far the happiest and most loved little girl I've seen in a long time. Nanny kept her charge happily engaged with the scenes out the window and let the toddler try on her sunglasses so she could vamp for the other passengers. They were both quiet, polite, happy, and considerate to everyone around them. When another toddler got on the train and was being fussy, the little girl looked at her nanny and was like, 'What's up with them?'

I see a lot of nannies in this city, and this was probably the best one I've witnessed. If this is your nanny, you are very, very lucky - she clearly adores your child, and you daughter is learning to be an excellent city dweller and overall human being from her nanny.

#$%&*@!

Rebecca Nelson Lubin

It was on the trip to Hawaii, the third morning in, when herding the three children out the door at 6am to hit the breakfast buffet that it happened. Now, in my defense, well, it was 6am, and in the hour that we had all been awake waiting for it to be late enough to leave the villa there had been an unusual amount of arguing amongst the two boys, and my patience was thin and I had not had nearly enough caffeine. As we pushed through the door with the jogger stroller packed with one Girl Baby and one huge diaper bag our process was slowed by the two big brothers wrestling over who would push their baby sister. They continued to jostle down the hallway to the elevator, pushing and shoving at each other and hurling insults until, fed up and horribly jet lagged spun tired I found myself shouting the following sentence:

“Oh my God, will you STOP BITCHING ABOUT THE STROLLER!”

My words were met by with complete stunned silence. I actually thought, “Did I really just say that out loud?” I looked at the children. The four year old looked confused that I had spoken in a register above my usual soft whispering tone. (I’ve been told I possess a “Baby Voice”.) The ten year old looked delighted at the possibility of getting me into trouble for unsavory language. I thought briefly about holding my head high and saying, “Yeah. I said that. Now fall in.”

Instead I asked, “Who wants to push the elevator button?” brightly, and vowed that once out of the villa, our first stop would be the espresso bar for a triple shot Americana for the tired nanny.

When we settled into our table, laden with buffet items and a fresh, hot, caffeine filled beverage for me, the ten year old really lit into me.

“You are in sooooooo much trouble!” He lauded.

“Nah, I’m not.”

“I’m sooooooo telling!” He said, rubbing his hands together in glee. “What would you give me not to tell?”

“Go ahead and tell,” I said, and reached into my bag for my phone, “in fact, I’ll tell first.”

I texted my mom boss the following message: “Super Nanny just yelled at children not to bitch about stroller. Bring u back some bacon?”

Her response? “Hahahahahahahahahaha. Yes on bacon.”

Okay. Yes. We as Nannies should not yell OR swear at our charges. We should endeavor in every way to maintain a sense of dignity and decorum in our relationships to the little monkeys. Even when jetlagged, even when premenstrual, even when going through a hideous breakup. As professional nannies, I believe we’re supposed to remain kind and even in all situations. Or something like that.

But I wonder. How many bad nannies sighting on this board are just sightings of a good nanny having a bad day? It happens to the best of us. It even happens to the parents on occasion.

As research for this week’s column, I polled several parents about their more colorful outbursts towards their children. We shall call it “Shit we shouldna have said.”

A relative of mine who shall remain nameless, once shouted at her daughter while on the phone with me, “Stop fighting with your sister or I’m taking all your candy and giving it to some other child!”

Last Saturday I went on a wine tour in Sonoma. One of my tour mates was a good friend who has two small boys. She confessed that she will sometimes let loose obscenities at stupid drivers while in the car with her children and cover up her foul language by insisting, “No! Mommy just said FORKLIFT!”

One of my oldest nanny clients couldn’t get his five year old into the car. He meant to say, “Get in the car child, or I will take away all your toys.” He actually yelled, “Get in the car child, or I will take away all your clothes!” He feared for quite a long time that he had surely sent his son into years of therapy. Said child is now 22 years old and doing just fine, and not, as his father feared, lugging a suitcase with a fresh change of clothes everywhere with him.

My own sainted mother, when pushed too far in my childhood, was sure to explode with the following statement, at full volume:

“Cut the crap right now! It’s not funny and it’s not cute! Seriously! Cut that shit out now!”

Truthfully, my brothers and I used to laugh at this sort of outburst. My older brother could even pantomime a scissor cutting motion at the back of his pants, which would result in me laughing, which resulted in further fury from my mother.

But seriously, the innocence of childhood only last so long. They learn swear words on their own so young. Sierra and I still joke about the time I was driving her and her older sister Willow to school. Willow was whispering some newly acquired vocabulary into Sierra’s ear. Sierra screeched, “Beach? That’s a swear word? I say beach all the time!”

“Son of a beach!” she will text me now, at seventeen, “Having a bad day.”

I suppose that is how I will sum up my own outburst in Hawaii. I was having a bad day.

When we returned from breakfast, the ten year old was still intent on selling me out.

“Did you hear what Rebecca said?” he asked his parents, delighted.

“We did,” said my mom boss, “and we agree with her, you guys were totally bitching about the stroller.”
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Rebecca Nelson Lubin is a writer and Nanny who resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. You may read more of her articles at http://www.abandofwives.ning.com/

Hathaway Park in San Jose, CA

Good Nanny Sighting....March 9...Hathaway Park in San Jose, CA. Your little boy, Colton, has a great nanny! They were having a great time playing together at the park...she was fully engaged and interacting with him the entire time she was at the park, and when he needed a little guidance, she was firm but kind in redirecting his actions. They look like they have a lot of fun together.

La Jolla rec center and Jonathons grocery - La Jolla, CA

La Jolla rec center and Jonathons grocery store, La jolla: Hispanic nanny with two kids in a double stroller. She never lets them out of the stroller. Does not push the stroller. Sits on a bench and force feeds them. They wine. She yells at them. I feel awful for those 2 kids having to spend the day with that woman. The second time i saw them both kids were once again strapped into the stroller outside Jonathans and the nanny was sitting talking on phone. The kids seemed like they had resigned to their situation.

My Main Priority: Keeping the 14mo Away From Mommy

I work in an office (it isn't so much a nanny share situation though). I am in charge of 3 children while 2 moms work. My main priority is keeping the 14th month old away from mommy. The 2 older children are 3 and 5. We have a playroom in the back to keep them entertained. My only problem is that the two older girls love to keep that door open and keep running out (for potty or a juice cup). It isn't a problem except whenever the door is open the 14 month old cries (screeches) and tries to run into mommys office. Originally they had a gate. It was my idea to just close the door so the 14 month old charge doesn't see mommy. Now that the door is closed whenever it is closed she is happy. I asked the mommies if I could lock the door and they said yes and we would use baby monitors - that never happened. I am at a loss on how to handle the situation. I am considering sticking a sock into the door to get it harder to open for the 2 older charges. Help?!?

13 Things Your Nanny Won’t Tell You

1. Being a nanny is a profession.
Please treat me as you would other professionals. Some people treat their plumbers with more respect than their nannies. I’m making sure your child is safe and cared for—is there anything more important?

2. Don’t tell me that I am part of your family and then ask me to work overtime.
Just because I work in your home doesn’t make me part of the family. This is my job—which means I deserve basic rights, such as sick time, overtime pay, holidays, and at least a day off a week.

3. I'm a Nanny, not a Housecleaner.
Sometimes I clean parts of your home because I simply cannot stand the filth. But this is not my job. Hire a housecleaner if you need one: I am here for your child.

4. Live-in nannies need a room of their own.
Some couples actually expect me to share a room with their baby—or worse, to share a bed with their child. We need a space of our own. And like parents, we function better on a good night’s sleep. Sharing a room is not good for the baby either, as nannies may be using perfume or hairspray or other things bad for babies to breathe.

5. Don't tell me to help myself to anything I want in the kitchen and then scream at me when I eat a few bites of your imported chocolate sauce — loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
If there are foods I shouldn’t touch, tell me. I will respect your boundaries, but you need to be clear with me.

TO READ THE REST: PLEASE CLICK HERE!
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Special thanks to taleia_and_company for their Contribution.

MPP missed ISYN readers!

A heartfelt thank you to those that sent kind words and prayers for my son. He is getting better and was finally able to go back to school yesterday.

There is a nanny in the San Diego area who was referred to me, and her name is Deena P**** with Goodnight Nannies. Because I am thorough and very careful with whom I leave my children, I looked into her background a little further. Come to find out that she has been arrested for Domestic Violence, Child Protective Services (CPS) has investigated her three times within the past year (once for her own child), and she has a Stay Away order for another child. If Deena P**** is referred to you as a nanny or babysitter in the North County San Diego area, do NOT hire her!! Please do yourself, and your children, a favor and check on her background yourself to find the same info that I found.
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Nanny's last name can be given via private e-mail if necessary.

Westchester Nanny

(author name withheld by request)
7:58 arrive at work. Employer glances at clock and rolls her eyes. She thinks I've cut it too close and she's in a bad mood having spent the past half hour having to care for her own children.
7:59 boss leaves kitchen.
8:00 boy and girl cry for their mother.
8:15 children settled and eating breakfast.
8:16 mother pops back in, grabs a post it and leaves kitchen.
8:17 children crying for their mother
8:20 children settled back down and eating breakfast
8:21 Father comes down. He wants to know what all the racket is. He looks at me, both to try and read me (and why I might be neglecting my duties as a nanny) and to get a better view of my silhouette in this form fitting tshirt.
8:24 father leaves
8:25 Mother returns. Asks what my plans are for the day.
8:26 I say nicely, "I haven't made any plans". I don't say, "every time I make plans you fuck them up"
8:27 Mother informs me that the kids are going stir crazy and should be out today. Mother suggests that Maybe I can "kill a few hours at the park". Mothers asks me if I have seen her lambskin wallet. What? I shake my head in the negative. Mother asks me if I can drop off some film for her at the photo mart, pick up some dry cleaning and pick up some groceries. I agree. Anything to get away from her. She hands me her credit card. She eyes me with what must be a warning. I take the card and get the kids ready.
8:40 Both kids are ready. Dressed with their teeth brushed. Shoes are on. Mother appears in hallway. Son says, "I want you" to mother.
 Mother says, "why are you wearing that" to two year old son.
I ask, "is there something wrong".
Mother answers, "No, not wrong, just an odd choice".
8:45 I back out of the garage. 3 year old girl is crying for her Mom. I tell her we are going to ----- an indoor playspot in the morning. She begins to show signs of happiness. Outside of the garage the mother is suddenly standing. I hide my look of annoyance.
"Did you forget something" I ask.
"No, but you did" she says hurtling dry cleaning through the window, "you might as well drop these off since you're going to be there anyway".
I smile, back up and drive off.
11:15 AM I have run all of the errands and am sitting watching the children play at toddler section of indoor playspot. Incoming call from the Mother. I answer.
"Oh my God, I thought something happened" she screeches.
 "What, what would happen?" I ask.
"Well, where are you. You've been gone all morning" she asks.
I re chronicle the morning for her.
"I don't want them eating fast food" she states.
"They are not. We will be home for lunch at twelve"
"You mean at twelve or before" she suggests. (Lunch must be served at twelve in her head).
"Before" I acquiesce.
11:44 AM I am in the kitchen cutting up cantaloupe and making grilled cheese sandwiches. Mother rolls through kitchen. Son cries for a hug. Mother looks at my pan, "kind of greasy" she says to no one in particular. She rifles through a cupboard for a vitamin c tablet which she begins chomping aggressively. Ignoring greetings from both her kids, she leaves room.
11:45 Three year old girl is crying.
11:54 Both kids happy and eating their lunch.
11:55 Mother strolls in kitchen and eyes clock curiously.  She goes to pantry and grabs a bag of Jalapeno potato chips and a diet coke from the refrigerator and plops down at the table with the kids.
11:56 Both kids crying for potato chips.
11:57 Mother huffs away exhausted with the demands put upon her chips to eat at her desk.
11:58 Both children crying.
12:38 PM I am on the floor building with giant blocks with the kids. They are happy and laughing. Mother rolls through family room. She glances at clock and shakes her head at me. "I think they need to go down for a nap, I need them to sleep tonight".
"I usually put them down between 1245 and 1:00", I say (as I have done this for four months).
Mother looks at me, the wall clock and her watch. She shakes her head. "I'll do it" she says with exasperation.
12:40 Mother is back in the family room. I wonder how it is even humanly possible that the kids could both be in bed."What are you making for dinner?" she asks. ( I cook for the children)
"I was going to make fish and green beans" I say.
"Fish and green beans" she says repulsed. She stares at me. She opens the refrigerator and stares at the refrigerator. She opens the freezer and stares at the freezer. She sighs with exhaustion. "I can't even think about this now".
She walks away, disappearing in to some hall in the house. I spend the next two hours organizing playroom and washing and folding children's laundry.
2:30 I am in the girl's bedroom getting her up from her nap. Mother comes to doorway and scoops up child. Mother gives daughter a big hug. Mother invites daughter to grocery store. Daughter hugging mom tightly.
2:35 Mother and Daughter depart for grocery store. Mother looks at me and says, "can you get ---- up? I don't need him sleeping all day".
3:05 ---- and I are in the family room playing with firetrucks.  Mother rushes in. "I've got bags, bags" she hollers. This is my cue to go and fetch bags.
3:08 Boy is crying out to me trying to chase me. Mother puts foot out to stop son from going after me. He trips and falls on the hardwood floor. Boy begins to cry. "Are you tired or do you need a time out" she asks her two year old.
3:14 I have retrieved 8 bags from the car and they are on the counter. Together, the Mother and I sort through the bags while the children fight over a Dora toy. Mother produces a package of ground turkey. "Here", she says, "I was thinking you could so something with this on the grill". I smile. Mother reaches in the refrigerator and pulls out the containers of milk. She dumps them in the sink. "I'm taking the kids off cowmilk, I want them only to have soymilk". I smile.
3:45 I am outside playing with the children on the swingset. Mother summons me inside. Her blu ray player for her bedroom has arrived and she wants it set up now. "Can you help me" she asks?
4:00 I am in her bedroom setting up the blue ray. The children are touching her linens, her curios. She is screeching at them, "Stop, please stop, you are driving me crazy".
4:11 Blue Ray installed. Back outside with the children.
4:30 Barney DVD on in family room. I am preparing to grill ground turkey and corn.
4:35 Mother comes in family room. Flips DVD player off. Turns on Fox News. Complains about Japan. Feigns horror over scenes of destruction.
4:38 Children are all over the place. Boy is at my legs asking to be picked up. Girl is standing on the sofa. Mother yelps, "what is WRONG WITH YOU TODAY". Then she abruptly leaves rooms.
4:39 Girl is crying for her mother
4:45 Barney back on. Both kids settle down.
5:00 I am sitting down at the table eating with the kids.
5:01 Mother takes phone call from friend and starts raving about "fat fucking whore". Children eat quietly.
5:25 Dinner is over. The kids have eaten. I am cleaning up the kitchen. Mother asks, "What, did they not eat?"
"No, they ate" I answer.
"Did they drink their milk" she asks.
"---- (girl) did, ----- (boy) didn't." I say.
The kids are about to leave table. "Oh no you don't", she says to two year old. She plops him back in his booster. "You do not leave the table until this is gone".
5:28 Son is crying not drinking.
5:38 Son is crying, not drinking.
5:45 Mother abruptly removes son from booster and plops him on the floor. "I CANNOT TAKE THIS" she bellows to no one in particular.
5:46 The kitchen is cleaned up. I go to grab my purse. "Wait, can you just take them upstairs? I just need a minute" Mother begs.
6:20 Mother arrives upstairs, expresses exasperation.
6:21 I give the kids hugs and say goodnight. "I'll see you tomorrow" I say to them all. 
"At eight" the Mother asks.
"Um, yes" I say. (I always arrive at eight. I never start work at any other time).
Downstairs I pass by the father in the den. He looks up but says nothing. "Goodnight" I call out.
Silence.

What's your day like? Email isawyournanny@aol.com .

Trump Building, 70th and Riverside Blvd.in NYC

My husband and I were in the playroom with our two children. There was a Jamacain woman there with a toddler about 18-24 months named Noah. She sat on the couch and looked angry, and did not interact at all with the child. He wanted to leave the playroom. She yelled "No!" and blocked the door. He seemed restless and bored, but she would not play with him. Everything he touched, she yelled "No!" in a booming voice. He looked miserable. It made us very uncomfortable. Finally I told her that if she wants him to stay in the room, maybe she should play with him to take his mind off leaving. She immediately left the room with him wihtout saying a word. She came back 15 minutes later with the same boy and an older boy, presumably his brother. At that point we left.
This woman is not good with children - if this is your nanny - please - find someone else.

Traveling with Babies – Part Two

Rebecca Nelson Lubin


Our first morning on Oahu I woke with a start in the pitch-black hotel room with that strange Miss Clavel like feeling of something being not quite right. The little digital clock beside my bed red 4:45am, which meant at home in Marin it was just before seven, my usual waking time, even though I had gone to sleep here in Hawaii at midnight, after the world’s longest travel day ever. I heard strange sounds coming from the other room, sounds like tiny little feet shuffling unsupervised in feet pajamas. I was out of bed like a shot. At first, I only saw the ten year old, lying on the couch with one of his hand held electronic games, extremely engrossed in combat.

“What are you doing up already?” I asked him.

“Playing.” He sleepily replied.

Then I saw what had piqued my Nanny Radar. The baby was up and out of her crib, toddling around the room.

“Hi!” She called out, running to me and tripping over feet.

“Did you take the baby out of her crib?” I asked her older brother.

“Uh uh.” He said, “She was up already.”

I picked up the baby, shaking my head. Nineteen months old and she manages her first solo assent out of her crib in a strange hotel villa while all of her adults are hopelessly jet-lagged.

“Monkey.” I said to her, and headed to the room service pitcher of coffee that we had thought to order the night before. As I poured myself a cup, I heard a strange muffled sound, like a four-year-old boy calling “Mom” from faraway.

I went into the room shared by the two boys. Both beds were empty. I came back inside the living room.

“Where is your brother?”

“I don’t know.”

I checked the baby’s room. Empty. I went through my room and all the bathrooms. Empty. I quietly tiptoed into the parent’s room, but there was no four-year-old in there either. I came back out into the living room and heard it again. A definite, though muffled call of “Mom!” I looked at the front door of the villa and thought, “Oh hell no…”

The four year old was on the front step, Hawaii dark and warm behind him, one hand extended towards me.

“I found a bug.” He said.

Rule number one of travelling with babies once you land: Stay on your toes. They might go to bed late but they will still wake up early, even in another time zone.



I’ve done a lot of travelling with the families I’ve worked with and I think at this point I can write a really good checklist for both employee and employer to abide to ensure that vacation work goes well for all involved.

I think the most important rule for the employer is this: If you are going to bring your nanny with you on vacation, make sure you can afford to! Travelling with help is nothing short of a luxury. If you cannot afford to pay for a plane ticket, hotel room and food for your nanny, by all means leave her at home! I’ve just read an amazing book written by a famous New York concierge, and he writes that if you can’t afford to tip well, you have no business going out to eat. I think that families who travel with their employees should follow that rule of thumb. Previous employers of mine once asked me to travel with them to a beautiful resort. Once there they informed me that they were willing to pay up to $25 per day for ALL my meals. That, according to the resort prices, would cover almost breakfast. I borrowed the rental car and found a health food store and stocked my mini-bar with Luna bars. Nothing like slumming in paradise!

For the Nanny, the most important rule is to remember that this is not your vacation. I once worked for a rock star whose previous nannies tended to try and escape the bus so they could catch the show. Nannies travelling with families must always remember that they are not there to see the show! They are there to babysit on the bus.

I, however, like to do more than just babysit on the bus. I like to facilitate. For this recent trip I made sure to research the resort where we would be staying and book surf lessons for the kids and spa treatments for the parents. I made sure before we got there that the rental car was booked, that there was a highchair in the villa, and I knew where to go and buy organic milk for the baby. I knew which restaurants were kid friendly and what their hours were. And after that first morning, I called and ordered a larger crib with a tent top.

One trap that the employer and nanny fall into is not discussing the expected hours and compensation that’s a requirement for travel work. Going on vacation with your employer means you are leaving your home and creature comforts and loved ones and routine. Sure you’ll be in a beautiful place, but enjoying the scenery is not proper compensation. Will you be compensated for overnights? Will you be working more than your regular hours? Less? One family I worked for gave me a flat travel bonus of $1,000 per trip and I accommodated whatever they needed. Another family asked me to keep track of my overtime and invoice them after we returned home. The hours racked up and the invoice was high. I was offered extra days off as compensation, but stuck it out for cash. The most important thing to do is to discuss this and work out an agreement before you get on a plane.

And now the rules for the Nanny. You have worked out your compensation and hours and here you are, working in a beautiful resort, smearing sun block on your charge and building sand castles. Be professional. You cannot be professional enough. Do not have mood swings. Do not disappear with the bartender from the beachfront bistro. Stay on the bus and babysit!

I had an amazing time this last trip to Hawaii. I love my employers and I love their children. I worked hard, was amazed that children can and will argue with each other about sand, and ignore breaching whales because they are playing Angry Birds on their iPod touch. I was able to take my family to a secret cove I knew of from my previous visits to the Oahu, and watch them bask in the beauty of what has long been a sacred spot for me.

When you work out all the basics beforehand, travelling with your nanny family can be a great experience. I loved mine. Aloha Baby!

CL-WTF... kind of...

http://charlotte.craigslist.org/kid/2223962235.html
Overpaid Under Qualified Sitters

I have paid sitters $10 an hour for them to not want to change a diaper and be talking on the phone. I also had a sitter allow my son to paint my carpet and remove everything from his closet. Dont get me wrong there are qualified educated nannys out there but just because you kept your children alive or are out of work doesnt make you worth more than mimmum wage. Post what you bring to the table and dont assume that you deserve the same rate as someone who has dedicated there life to this. Also this is not highschool this is not a forum this is a place to post offering care or requesting it. Lets leave it to that. Now to the person who decided to curse in a place they look for emplyment certainly shows your true colors. If someone is looking for a position watching children a couple hours a week please contact me with your qualifications.

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http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/kid/2259174045.html
Nanny in exchange for..

Hello nanny here. Will babysit your children in exchange for airline tickets of about a grand. Ipod Classic, flat screen tv. room and board. let me know

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http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/kid/2260592804.html
Babysitter wanted for an infant (310)

Hello all

We are looking for a fun loving babysitter for our wonderful little boy. We are looking for someone who has experience with infants and a clean background record. We can offer $150/week for 3 days out of the week. (10 to 630-7) we live in santa monica. I would offer more pay but i don't make that much at my job and thats all i can afford right now.Our baby is very easy going and sleeps most of the day. I will guide you through everything that will need to be done while you babysit.

We might need occasional babysitting on the weekend and will pay extra for that.

If you think that this is something you have been looking for then email me with a little information about yourself.

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http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/kid/2259991559.html
PT Nanny needed (Kennesaw)

I have a wonderful nanny for my 18 month old and 3 month old, but she has decided to go part time to take care of her own 4 children and help them with their schoolwork. I need someone who can come 2 days a week to our house and watch them from 9-5 on the days that she cannot. The 2 days are fliexible if you need to work it around your college class schedule. We are conveniently located near KSU. Will pay $90 cash each week. Candidate should meet ALL of the following:
* have previous childcare experience and CPR and first aid trained and certified
* have your own reliable transportation and excellent driving record
* willing to let us perform a background check
* can provide childcare and work related references
Please respond to this ad and put Nanny in the subject line of the email.
Thank you!

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http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/kid/2260120668.html
ISO: Indian nanny (Decatur/ Emory/ Atlanta)

Family with 2 children (ages 5 and 2) seeking Hindi or Telugu or both- speaking woman for live-in or live-out help. Monday - Friday (7:00 am - 2:00 pm) Light house keeping and cooking required. Must love children.

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http://newjersey.craigslist.org/kid/2224691444.html
Seeking female nanny for family vacation (FL)

This is not a paid salary position, but is all expenses paid for flights, housing, activities and meals, etc. Family of 5 is vacationing in Orlando from April 1 to April 8 and staying in a 4000 square ft 6 bedroom luxury home just outside of Disney. We are looking for a young woman to accompany us and help out occasionally during our stay in return for full accomodations including flights and staying with us in a private luxury pool home. If interested, please respond asap .

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http://newjersey.craigslist.org/kid/2224786167.html

RE:Seeking female nanny for family vacation (FL) (Fl)
Thats really rude. The person is working for you. I don't care if you are staying in a mansion. It will still be a job and a job is a job. That you need to pay her for!!

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http://newjersey.craigslist.org/kid/2224914227.html
RE: Seeking female nanny for family vacation (FL) (LALA Land)
Are you kidding me? there are just so many people that love to work for free because, let me guess, your such awesome people we should pay YOU to be in your presence. IDIOT. why dont you just put the ad in Florida so you arent paying for expenses? IF YOU CAN AFFORD A MANSION, you can afford care. Are you paying for a friend to come down? or will you leave me hostage down there with no car or means of transportaion in the few hours you have off? WHO do you think you are? Why do you think you are entitled to such? Your not paying for someones activities, your paying for the additional activity because someone has to be with your child. Your not paying for someones expenses. Do you have five kids or 5 with the adults? will you allow me to stay on the couch?

You should put up another ad.
We are such entitled people. Looking for a full time nanny for the week, please pay your own expenses, flight etc etc., or you could advertise it under FREE SCHOOLING. Learn how to handle yourselves for free around jerks. Its great experience for living in the real world

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http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/kid/2258691114.html
Looking to babysit..please read (grand prarie)

Hello i am a homeschooled and i am looking to do some babysiting i used to baby sit my sisters three kids ages 3 4 and newborn...i watched them for a year and i really enjoyed it i did that for her until we moved and now i am looking to do that again..i am comfortable watching infants...my mom supervised for the first week or so and then i was doing that by myself...But now tat we moved here we dont know any one with kids for me to watch...my mom will be at my house because she doesnt work...She would prefer for me to watch the kids there .....and also my older sister who is 17 (i am 15 about to turn 16 in a few months)and homeschooled will be ther..so as you see i will have someone ther since my age could be a issue for some...I will be doing the babysitting in my house the kids are welcome to bring toys and stuff like that..umm we do have to small dogs but they are outside 90%Of the day usually with my mom and sister!Umm i can do weekend babysitting i am free all the time so please let me know i am very mature and i dont have a set pay and i can start as soon as possiable...It is more than a job to me i really love kids and please cosider me....you can text me at 972-513-7343 or ou can e mail me! thank you for takeing the time to read this....Also the home is a smoke free home...

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First post:
http://charlotte.craigslist.org/kid/2222900172.html
Need babysitter today (s. charlotte/pineville)

we have 3 kids, 2, 2, and 3, and we need a sitter from 3:30-6:30 today
I can wait until 2:30 ish to put them down for their nap so that they will be asleep when you get here.
they are not potty trained
you will not have to feed them, just play with them and make sure they are safe.
you would be watching them in our home located right next to the carolina place mall
I already have someone that can watch them, but she wants to charge $10 an hour which is ridiculous in my opinion. babysitting isn't hard and it doesn't require any special skills. There is no reason why it should be paid more than minimum wage.
the most I will pay for this is $20 and I think that is very reasonable.

since there isn't a lot of time, I will leave my phone number, call me if you are interested
757-556-5645 - Patrick

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Follow up posts:
http://charlotte.craigslist.org/kid/2223797083.html
Hey Patrick- your in idiot

Heres your original post and my 2 cents for free- since your a cheap ass.

You claim taking care of your 3 children isnt worth $10 an hour? Are you serious? And to boot they arent even potty trained? Which lets not get into, because 3 is a little old. You expect someone to drop everything, run over to your house for a maximum of $20 to care for 3 unpotty trained kids... they arent even worth $10 an hour to you- so why should anyone else care enough once you arent around? Which, since your cutting cost and corners, why not get a dog to come over and provide care for them? I mean, like you said, anyone can do it. Hope your cheapness doesnt hurt one of those kids. Some people dont deserve to be parents and I feel sorry for your kids.
Signed....
Someone that wouldnt watch 3 kids that arent potty trained for less than $14 an hour.

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http://charlotte.craigslist.org/kid/2223937002.html
Re Patrick: Get a Life People

I have watched these kids and know that its not wrong for him to look for cost effective babysitter. It is not a difficult task to play with 3 kids and change a diaper. When I worked at a daycare I was only paid $8 an hour at a high end daycare. That less than they are paying after taxes and that was watching 8 children who were potty trained.The fact that people are posting in a childcare section about a parent is ridiculous. If the job isnt for you dont respond but there are lots of people on here who could use a couple of dollars and its none of your business the choices others make. The fact that you looking for employment and speaking about people this way doesnt speak highly of you.

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http://charlotte.craigslist.org/kid/2226083993.html
Patrick-let's play nice (S. Clt)

I have a couple suggestions for you to find a sitter you can afford-I believe that is your goal. Contact your church or neighboring ones and S. Meck HS. Both of them may have a listing of teenagers willing to sit for less. Less experience=less $$. Another idea is just a babysitter swap which you did mention. Maybe you could set it up as a regular thing. Hopefully these suggestions will get you several sitters to call instead of having to post here.
Insulting us and saying we are not worth it will get you nowhere. Yes you enjoy playing with your children; you should they are yours. Saying "if we have nothing better to do", well we do. I babysit as a profession and I charge the going rate. I have families I have sat with for years and now I have the siblings and the friends, etc. I love children, but this is not a charity for me and my clients understand that. They also know that I will gladly go the extra mile for them when needed. If the going rate for pizza delivery is $14. per hr, would you chose the employer who only wants to pay $7. because he doesn't think you're worth it? I doubt it.

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http://charlotte.craigslist.org/kid/2223988630.html
Patrick (S. Clt-Pineville)

OK, having been there I have to offer my 2 cents worth. Kids were sick and I wasn't told until I was there, kids were dirty, he wanted to have me there to get the oldest off the bus and the child had never seen me before nor I him. I will say the two I watched were well behaved, but no I would not go back. He did not know me from Adam and didn't really seem to care. I was just very uncomfortable with the situation.


OK, having been there I have to offer my 2 cents worth. Kids were sick and I wasn't told until I was there, kids were dirty, he wanted to have me there to get the oldest off the bus and the child had never seen me before nor I him. I will say the two I watched were well behaved, but no I would not go back. He did not know me from Adam and didn't really seem to care. I was just very uncomfortable with the situation.
(end Patrick CL ads)

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http://houston.craigslist.org/kid/2249509990.html
needing a live in nanny (houston tx)
single parent needing a live in nanny (female) where room and board will be your salary but also will pay 50 dollars a week. needing a trustworth, caring, gentle and experienced live in nanny to watch an infant, a toddler and an after schooler. must be easy to get along with and non abusive. non smoker and must treat my infant son (especially) with total love and care. I work from 9-5pm, mon-fri and would like a person who wouldn't mind watching them until i get off work. Being a live in nanny doesn't mean the kids will be left to you all alone everyday. I am their mother and of course i will be helping out. Live in nanny can have a life but just not on my schedule.

if interested please email me with further questions and contact number

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http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/kid/2260542187.html

Natural-minded family is seeking childcare primarily for our daughter (7 mos) and occasionally for our son (5 years). The baby needs to get to know someone before being comfortable, so we'd need her to see someone several days a week for a while and then might go to just one or two days.

Mom is a SAHM and just needs help to get to appointments and to make time for volunteer responsibilities and a small amount of freelance work (and to stay on top of things in the home!)

We'd love to find a student or someone who is willing to spend time in the house just studying/reading (with short times playing with the baby until she gets comfortable) for a lower pay rate before we leave the baby with her.
Or we could pay full babysitter rate if the person is willing to help around the house with light housework and otherwise act as a mother's helper. Or if the person can drive our son to preschool.
We would also consider offering room & board in exchange for childcare if the fit is right.

Seeking someone comfortable and familiar with babywearing, cloth diapering, healthful food (we are a gluten-free home and the baby is exclusively breastfed), positive/compassionate parenting, time in nature, no electronics/media, no perfume. Our family is pursuing Waldorf education, so familiarity with that is a plus. Also a plus would be if you speak Spanish or French and if you have an interest in gardening.

An alternate possibility would be to have the baby with another like-minded SAHM (maybe in a few months) or a nanny share with a like-minded family. The baby would enjoy the company and might be happier away from mom if she is in another place with another child.

We are on the border of Alexandria and Arlington near 395 and King St.

Please only serious inquiries. Please share your experience, interests, availability, location/transportation, and rate considerations.

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http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/dmg/2256950406.html
I need someone reliable in trust worthy to pick my kids up from school n day care n care for them until I get home from work. In house or at your house which ever is better for you. I'm a struggling young mother of 3.
(the pay is $90 per week for all three children)

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http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/dmg/2258383544.html
HELLO MY NAME IS RENEE. I LIVE IN HENDERSON BUT I WORK OFF SAHARA AND JONES. I AM LOOKING FOR A FEMALE CHILD CARE PROVIDER MON-FRI EVERY WEEK. I HAVE TO CHILDREN AGES 5 AND 4. THEY ARE VERY WELL BEHAVED AND PRETTY MUCH DO THIER OWN THING. I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO COME TO MY HOME TO WATCH THEM....OR I CAN TAKE THEM TO YOU IF YOU ARE CLOSE TO 215 AND JONES OR ALL THE WAY UP JONES TO SAHARA..(THIS IS MY COMMUTE PATH). IF YOU COME TO MY HOME ALL I NEED IS FOR SOMEONE TO HELP THEM WITH BREAKFAST AND LUNCH AND TAKE THEM OUTSIDE TO RIDE THERE SCOOTERS/BIKES. THEY BRUSH THIER OWN TEETH AND THEY ARE POTTY TRAINED. IF YOU COME TO MY HOME YOU ARE MORE THEN WELCOME TO USE THE GYM, POOL AND SPA. WHAT I CAN AFFORD IS 130 DOLLARS A WEEK. I AM RECENTLY SEPERATED AND I AM NOT GETTING ANY FINANCIAL HELP FROM THIER FATHER AT THIS TIME. SO 130 IS ALL I CAN AFFORD PER WEEK.

IF I WERE TO BRING THEM TO YOUR HOME OR DAYCARE I CAN PROVIDE LUNCHES AND SNACKS FOR THEM TO KEEP THE COST DOWN.

I AM LOOKING FOR A CHILDCARE PROVIDER THAT IS ON MY ROUTE TO WORK!!!!

I TAKE EASTERN TO 215 AND 215 TO JONES AND THEN TAKE JONES ALL THE WAY UP TO SAHARA...SO IF YOU ARE IN THAT ROUTE AND ARE INTERESTED PLEASE CALL ME AT 702-479-8811. PLEASE NO EMAILS PHONE CALLS ONLY!!!!

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http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/dmg/2240930014.html
A reliable nanny is needed for work immediately!

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http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/dmg/2240331008.html
seeking a babysitter to watch my 8 month baby and to take my 7yr old to school and pick up (he eats breakfast at school at 8:30 and he gets out at 3:26). I work from 7am to 3:30pm. I leave the house at 6am and I come back about 4:15 depending on traffic. I can afford 150 a week. Interviewing this weekend. I get paid weekly at my job for now, soon we are switching to biweekly.

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http://phoenix.craigslist.org/evl/dmg/2257769100.html
Looking for part time live in Nanny for my two little daughters. Need someone 15-20 hours a week to look after my children with light housekeeping in exchange for Room and Board. The house is very clean and is located on a Golf Course at Seville Country Club at Higley and Chandler Heights. This position is great for students, a few nights during the week from 5-9, and one weekend day. This is not a paying position, so please don't contact me with hourly questions. Please respond to add to set up interview.

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http://phoenix.craigslist.org/evl/dmg/2251804688.html
I am starting a new job. I am a single Mom. I have a 9 year old son. I will be working from 10am to 6:30pm. My child gets out of school at 3pm. I am seeking a experienced Nanny to pick him up directly at 3pm from his school and bring him home to my house which is one mile from his school at Power & Warner. You would need to stay with him, and make him dinner. You would watch him until I arrived home at 7pm. You must have a valid drivers license and insurance and a clean driving record. No exceptions. No boyfriends, kids or similar can be involved in this process. It must just be you and my child. I have a very nice home, and you will like it here. There are places to walk and parks and things to do. I am offering either free room and board for this or 25.00 per day. You would not be keeping him on Thursdays as he is with his father, and every other Friday you would only have him until 6pm when his father picks him up. I prefer someone who is younger, like kids, has experience watching them, likes to play games, and is active. He is almost ten years old so he doesn't require a ton of supervision. He is pretty self directed. Must have three viable references. Please call Penny @ 480-242-2975. Thank you. ;)

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just creepy:
http://baltimore.craigslist.org/kid/2235082194.html
Private adoption- the ultimate gift! (Owings Mills)

Single, warm, compassionate, loving, very involved dad looking to add to family-
49 year old single dad to a 4-year old blonde/blue son.
Looking for a family that finds themselves in need of adopting out
their baby girl, & wants to ensure she'll be in a warm, loving, nurturing environment.
Prefer newborn to 4 years old, light hair, light eyes.
Initial contact between us here, to establish the proper communication.
Subsequent conversations to smooth out the details & ensure a smooth transition
shall be with an attorney specializing in adoption.
If you are reading this & know of someone contemplating an alternative for their daughter/granddaughter/niece/cousin,
please send this to them! Help them turn a difficult & potentially heartbreaking situation into a beautiful, unselfish act for their little girl,
to a home where she'll have a loving father who is very involved with every aspect of his son's life,
& desires a little sister for his son/ daughter for himself, to complete his family.
Please respond to this ad with your phone # & contact information.
Thank you!

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http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/kid/2259888754.html
9 months old twins for adoption.boy and girl
have you been wanting to adopt a twin to no avail..then this is an opportunity you should not miss. We have these babies that we are giving up for adoption. there are 9 months old; very cute and healthy. please just get back to us for details information,if really interested in adopting this babies.

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http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/kid/2258702087.html

LOVELY AND HEALTHY BABY BOY FOR ADOPTION
i WILL LIKE A VERY CARING PERSON TO ADOPT MY BABY BOY, I KNOW THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO FOR HIM
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Special thank you to the readers who put this together; Emily, Bethany, Hilary, 'German Nanny', Carmen and Elisabeth.

Call for Craigslist Submissions...

There are no Craigs list ads in MPP's inbox. Anyone? Please email isawyournanny@aol.com if you have seen anything shocking, scandalous or just plain dumb.

Of interest:
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2011/03/the_bestest_and_funniest_of_craigslist_0311.php

Thursday

NY nanny arrested on endangerment charge
LAUREL HOLLOW, N.Y. — Police say a Long Island nanny faces criminal charges after a remote video camera showed her giving a baby potentially dangerous medication.Anneliese Brucato pleaded not guilty at her arraignment Monday in Nassau County District Court. Bail was set at $15,000 cash or $30,000 bond.Police say Brucato was caring for a 4-month-old girl in Laurel Hollow on Friday when the child's mother accessed a remote video feed.
They say the mother saw the nanny give the child a liquid later determined to be an antihistamine not recommended for babies. Police say file video showed it happened three other times.
Brucato was charged with endangering the welfare of a child and assault.Her attorney did not return a telephone call for comment. Police said the child was not seriously injured.

MacGregor nanny takes stand; prosecution rests
Jeremy S. MacGregor’s former nanny has many things to remember him by.One of those things is constant pain. Another is the shrapnel that remains in her hand from when he shot her multiple times.She lost the use of her left hand from nerve damage after being shot in the neck... (continue)

East Grinstead nanny jailed for poisoning Ann Summers boss
AN EAST Grinstead nanny who poisoned Ann Summers boss Jacqueline Gold by lacing her food with screen wash has been jailed for 12 months.

Allison Cox, 33, of Badgers Way, spiked her employer's soup to try to get the lingerie tycoon's personal chef sacked, Guildford Crown Court heard on Friday, March 4.The single-mum appeared in the dock a month after pleading guilty to administering poison with intent to injure, aggrieve or annoy.... (continue)

...."she will live free, it's a trade off"

What's the going rate for a Nanny or Au Pair? Ours lived with us last summer (College student majoring in early elementary) and we were told by everyone that we overpaid. So without telling you what we paid, what is the rate? She will only "nanny" for us 15 hours/week since that's all I work. She can get another job MWF and on weekends. We have two kiddo's, 2 1/2 and 5. And this summer our 5 year old will be in camp nearly every week of the summer that she'll live with us (June and July) from 9-12 or 9-1, and then when she's home our younger DD will be napping, so it's less work this summer than last. I am also there working some remotely during her "nanny" time, so I'm there in an emergency. She will live for free and eat our food that we buy. We don't need a live in Nanny, she asks us to live here because it's near her friends and Church. She goes to college in another city.

Let me have it, what is the rate per week or per month? I've gotten anywhere from $345/week to nothing she will live free, it's a trade off. I truly don't know. For the record, I'm in a nice area of Austin, TX.

Tough Talking Grandmother advises eighteen month old to "man up"

I have a problem and I'm not sure how to handle it.

MB's mother and father live about 4 hours away, so they aren't around every day but they do come around fairly often, it usually ends up being once a month for a long weekend.

The grandparents are probably in their late 50s early 60s, and neither one likes the 18 month old baby. They love the 5yr old but they can't stand the baby and they make it very well known and I'm not sure how to address it.

Grandfather totally ignores the youngest. When the baby tries to go over to him he engrosses himself in his Ipad and ignores the child. It sounds silly but I think grandpa actually pinched or hurt the baby. The baby crawled up on the couch and grandfather wasn't sitting all the way up against the back of the couch. All of a sudden baby starts screaming, and it's the I'm hurt cry. The baby is right behind grandpa and he ignores it! I run over there and pick the baby up and start asking what happened and grandpa continues to ignore me and the baby. Finally gramps says Ohh he's just mad. Ok I've had this baby since the day he was born, that was not a mad cry. That was a hurt cry but I let it go. I didn't strip the baby down to see if he had a mark and I just let that incident go

Then the next day in front of the baby grandma says that grandpa doesn't like the baby and tells me the baby dumped a cup of water out under the table. I just half smiled and walked away. Later when thinking about that incident I realized that if they had been watching the baby he wouldn't have been under the table and he wouldn't have had a cup of water to spill in the first place.

Well they went home but not before I heard about 4 more times that grandpa didn't like the baby....and keep in mind this is all said in front of the baby.

Grandma is back now without grandpa but now I'm concerned about her. Yesterday the kids were sitting down for snack and the oldest told grandmother she wanted a manicure and pedicure while pointing at her fingers. Naturally the baby points at his fingers so I engage him. I ask him if he wants a manicure and pedicure just like his big sister. He just smiles and then grandmother says "Oh no that's for sissys, you don't need a manicure, you're a boy." I looked at the baby and said "ohh painting your nails won't turn you gay" and then I picked up the baby and left the room.

This morning at breakfast I put the baby in the high chair and went to fix his breakfast and he started crying. It was a temper tantrum because he wanted to go run around, he didn't want to eat but when he throws temper tantrums I just ignore it. He only cries for a few moments and then stops. Well grandmother looks at him and tells him to "Man up. Come on, Man up" This time those comments were in front of both parents and neither one said anything or ever looked shocked.

Thankfully an 18 month old has no clue what man up means but one day he will. Besides the fact that crying is developmentally appropriate. He's 18 months old! He's supposed to cry, he's supposed to throw temper tantrums. He's still learning how to communicate.

I need to say something because one day those kind of comments are going to affect him, but how? What do I say to mom because this is HER mother. In the past when I've told her things about what her friends do to the kids she brushes me off so what can I say to her now?

Sending Good Thoughts...

"Marypoppin'pills" aka "Mary Poppinz" aka MPP, the current facilitator of I Saw Your Nanny will be away for an unknown amount of time.  MPP will be caring for her young son who has has been hospitalized with a serious bone infection.

Fat yellow straws?

Some days, my employer comes home for lunch. This is usually during the time I am out running errands or on down time. She is pretty easy to get along with. She came in and I was watching HBO on demand. I went in the kitchen to tell her something and she had picked up my Mcdonald's soda and was using the straw from my drink to floss her teeth. I seriously started to vomit. I retracted back in to the living room. When she left, I threw my drink away but I am really grossed out. I am a live in nanny and I take great care to respect their belongings, special foods, privacy, etc. I kind of think this is a big deal. But now what?

What do parents want to hear at the end of the day?

     I have to start off by saying I LOVE my current job very much... I work for a single Mom that is the most genuine and thoughtful person I have ever met!!! I take care of a 7 month old and the baby is challenging to say the least. The baby had extreme colic and still to this day cries most days for very long periods of time. The baby has a lot of trouble with sleep habits and I spend hours of my 10 hour day just trying to get the baby to sleep. My question for parents that read this site is, would you want to hear that your child has had a "hard" day? I am tired of telling the babies Mom that the baby had a "hard morning" or a "hard afternoon". She knows the baby is "difficult"... we have had many conversations about it. So I am wondering if you think I should spare her the "bad" report everyday and try to make light of it? I am sure one day soon the baby will grow out of the crying but I hate the look on the Moms face when I say he cried for two hours before he finally fell asleep! I know she loves me and she knows I do everything in my power to help and I do not feel like she thinks it is something I am doing wrong... But, HELP! Any advice would be much appreciated!!!

Nanny needs your help!

     I have worked as a professional care giver for several years, and several different families. I am currently working in a situation that is far different from all of the rest. Previously, I have had a wonderful working relationship with all my families, and felt well-respected. The duties were made clear from the start, and were not abused on either end of the relationship. This situation now, is far different in the respect that I don't have that "closeness" to the MB or DB that I shared with other employers. Ok, that's not too bad, so we don't go out for a cocktail or have dinner together...no biggie. Here's the biggie: I feel completely disrespected, under-appreciated, and helpless. I have been working for this family for nearly a year as a "nanny." I use that term lightly because I started as a nanny, and am now doing household chores (not pertaining to child), all childs laundry, packing/unpacking for any trip, preparing ALL food (including preparing meals to get them through the weekends when I am not working), errands unrelated to child (about 4 hrs worth, which is meant to be done during working hours while carting child around to various high-end stores), there house is cleaner than a museaum, and I was told I couldn't mess with the heat temp or I could be "dismissed" (they keep heat @ 64!) I'm meant to take child out EVERY day (regardless if its 10* out or not), and clean everything to an extreme. I work 55-60 hrs a week and rarely see the MB. Both are in intense careers, so to get a free moment with them is hard.
     I went on vacation with family to an island and was paid my normal weekly salary (including flight/rooom) and nothing more. Didn't know this wasn't normal. I had a few groceries picked up for me 2x/week, but all meals while out on the island were from my pocket. I worked EVERY night when they went for dinners, and not once got offered a meal! I ate frozen pasta dishes for dinner each night, except for the night they brought me home some left-overs. When I brought up the fact that I felt I should have a bit more compensation-I was "reminded" that I had all expenses paid, and because I went along they had to rent a larger villa. Not normal, right?
     Then, the icing on the cake. I have "5 personal days"-which I used 1 for a day of doc appointments (as I don't have any time to do so when working 13ish hours a day), and 2 days that I got approved WAY in advance to be with family for a special function. I had an immediate death in the family. I had 3 days for that (6 hrs away)-1 for travel, 1 for the wake and one for the funeral. That used up my personal days, and on my salaried position I was docked a days pay for attending my family members funeral! I normally just let them walk all over me, but brought this up w FB and was told "it's not about the money, it's about the princepal." ??!??!? I work 60 hrs a week, and got docked for taking a day off to be with my famaily as I grieved the loss of a very immediate family member!! Is this NORMAL?
     I also "cut them a deal" when it comes to overtime. I get a flat hourly rate for anything over my salaried 55 hrs, and they had asked me for an "overnight rate"-in which "should be lower" than my hourly rate. I am at the point where now I don't want to compromise my overtime rate as it's "not about the money, but about the princepal"-as it can't be one sided if they are going to put their foot down about one issue to their benefit.
     I feel taken advantage of BIG time. I am not the nanny, but the assistant now-whereas I am looking after a child and thousands of dollars worth of merchandise at the same time-probably not a good idea. And, my responsibilies have been increased, but not my pay. I make about $17/hr so its "good pay"-but live in an area where that is common for a NANNY not assistant. No healthcare or big perks. There are several other factors that play into this (doing months of overnight shifts when I was originally told i would maybe be required to do 1/week at most, etc.)-I guess what I am looking for is some help. Should I bring these issues up with MB/FB? How could one do that (I'm really nervous to speak up about these things)? Should I be looking for something else-and let them know the way they've treated me won't likely be tolorated by someone else? Help!

Conundrum #73

     I don't know if this is how this works- but I found your blog when looking for answers and would like to pose my current conundrum.

      I recently began working at a position that includes a three year old boy who has me a little lost. He has another nanny part week, and my days have been covered by two different nannies over the past 7 months- clearly much of both our frustrations have to do with too much turn over- but since I can't fix that piece it's about a functional daily existence until we can get to a better place with time. Our daily conflict seems to be a lack of interest in listening and a strong decision to be defiant and disruptive for the sake of doing it. I appreciate the child behind the actions and want very much to enjoy our time together as I have with both charges in the past and my own daughter- but I guess I've just never had the luck to encounter a child who drinks the pool water after being repeatedly asked not to just because "he felt like it". It doesn't matter that we'll leave, and he knows we will, he "ruins" it to ruin it. Sadly our days end up being prep work for fun, the complete destruction of the moment in minutes, and recollection/clean up. Hence all he's achieving is a frustrated me and alone time while everything is put back together- his actions only serve to isolate him and my impression is that's the last thing he wants. Attempts at redirection, giving him tools, talking things out logically, using rewards systems, using punishment systems like "your room" (this is what his parents use and directed me towards) aren't really affecting the behaviors. I can't seem to get ahead. I can't seem to reach a part of him that wants to be part of the team and enjoy an outing/activity/experience. And sadly because he's so quick to destroy I'm not sure we've gotten to anything enjoyable to reference. My own child is very much her own person and I feel well equipped to offer respect and trust to a child who wants freedom. But it doesn't seem to be what he's after. His uniqueness seems to be more a true desire to destroy, he takes pleasure in keeping us all miserable, while of course voicing frustration with the situation he's made. Example- he wants the baby to be quiet but he wouldn't let her go down for a nap because he needed to scream and throw things- so she's mad and I don't blame her. Beyond the fact she's annoying to him he's also left us with no time to play one on one by keeping her awake- is he old enough to register how entirely he's in control of all the things he's unhappy with? Cause and effect are really all I have left :(. Is being destructive a personality style? Is this just who he is? How do I keep it from dictating the direction/tone/activities of the house? Ideas on how to reach him?
      I deeply want the best the day can be for him, but I'm afraid he's won because I'm losing all desire to put in effort where it's not welcome- and starting to wonder if this behavior isn't a result of too many nannies but rather the reason they've all left.
Thank you very much for your time,
NannyWA

Super Soccer Stars in NYC

I was at the Super Soccer Stars on  89th and Columbus this afternoon right around 4. I got there during the between class shuffle, but, learned quickly that a nanny who was there with a little boy, around 2.5. The little boy threw up on the upholstered bleacher area, the nanny just got up, moved her stuff and the kid to another chair, then told the desk to clean it up. She then sent him into class. I stopped it, spoke with the teacher, explained what happened, the teacher said, that he was sorry, but the boy should go home the stomach virus was going around... the nanny just sat there and kept on saying he's fine, he has no fever, he went to school today and was fine!

She was rather petite, of Indian descent but from the Islands. CRAZY!

Mansfield, MA Dunkin Donuts on Chauncey St

Your nanny drives a red Volvo station wagon, kind of old. She was of average height, a bit overweight with brown frizzy hair. She was wearing a pair of men's Ed Hardy jeans, and a yellow SpongeBob sweatshirt. Your little girl about 3 years old with blond hair dressed in a purple winter coat with white fur trim, purple leggings, and knock off Ugg type boots. Your nanny was dragging her into the store while she was crying. She got in line and sent the girl to the booth. She yelled loudly "Stop that or you won't get a doughnut!" The girl laid down on the seat at the booth, nanny yelled "Sit up, I told you to stop it!" She got a plain doughnut and a hot chocolate for your daughter. She tried to sip her drink and cried/whined about how hot it was. Your nanny yelled "It's supposed to be hot, now eat your doughnut or I am going to throw it away. The nanny took out her cell phone and began texting.

The little girl asked "Can I call mommy?" The nanny was like "No, we aren't going to disturb your mother over a stupid hot choclate!" Your child picked at the doughnut, and asked why she couldn't call her mom. The nanny replied "We are not going to call your mom everytime you feel like it!" They got up, she said "What a waste of money!" and threw out the doughnut, she took the drink with her and started to yell "Let's go, let's go." and they left. All of us were behind the counter shaking our heads. I hope a relative of hers sees this and recognizes their nanny. She needs an attitude adjustment or to look for another job!
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Thank you, OP.

Nanny Feels Like She is in Jail

I work as a full time nanny in San Francisco, CA i started this position about seven months ago, in the past i worked with different families and everything went well, the last family i worked for three years all these families still send me present for my birthday, pictures from the kids etc. I know i am a good nanny i am hard working, responsible and creative, when i accepted this new job i was very happy because i always wanted to live in SF.

This job is starting to be a nightmare, i love the kids with all my heart! but the parents are another story, working here for seven months they do not trust me, they have cameras in every room of the house, even one in the car! i found out the first week i starting working here, i really dont care about them because i know i am doing a good job and have nothing to fear but at the same time it doesn't feel right to know you work for people who dont trust you.

The other day the dad was supposed to leave the house to go to the gym at night, some nights i do extra "babysitting" i was supposed to put the little boy to bed he said his goodbyes and left, i even heard the front door closing, to my surprise i found out he was hiding in this room, at first i didn't know he was home but i found out because the little boy told me, i know he was hiding to see if i mistreated the boy.

this is all too much to handle, i just cant stand it anymore at the same time i need the job i have no money saved because i spend it on tuition for school and the jobs here in the bay area are scarce.

every day at work they are both looking at their camera i know this because they make comments and know things that we did during the day without asking, sometimes i wonder if they get any work done!

I would like other nannies advice how would they handle this situation? i feel like i am in jail.
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To the Reader that sent this in, please forgive me for not posting this before now, it had been lost and I only found it while going through to delete some e-mail.

Richmond bound BART train - SF Bay Area

I wanted to report a great nanny I saw in the SF Bay Area, on a Richmond bound BART train 3/3/11 around 10:30AM. The nanny and a 7-8 month old baby (my guess, he could be older/younger) got on at the West Oakland stop and were still on the train when I exited in Downtown Berkeley. The nanny was interacting with the baby for the whole ride. She was laughing and genuinely seemed to enjoy engaging with the little boy. I know it's not much to describe, but I really got the sense that this woman takes great care of your baby. She was light skinned AA, with a bright green pea coat and brown sneaker/shoes (with sparkly stripes on them), and she had her hair pulled back in a small, low ponytail at the back of her neck. Your baby was white (fair skinned) and blonde, and was in a red jogging stroller, with a brown skip hope diaper bag (with a circular print on it). I used to be a nanny, and watching this woman interact with your son made me miss the fun of hanging out with little kids. She seemed great!
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I received a partial message through MEEBO about a bad nanny. Could the Reader who sent it in please try again. Thank you.

Are Parents Over-reacting to Child being Hurt?

In the 2.5 years I have worked with her, I have never doubted my boss' decisions, as she knows what is best for everyone involved. This time, however, I feel as though she may have made a mistake.

Per parent request, my boss recently decided to put two teachers at all times in a classroom, due to injuries that a child retained. There are a maximum of 13 children in the classroom. Said child got hurt three times over the last few months. The first time was accidental, as the child tripped over something, the second was a child who pushed him into something outside, and the third was a child who tripped over something, lost his balance, and as a result, pushed this child into the table. The most recent injury was an accident, and the teacher who was in the room at the time is being blamed for it, not by our boss, but by the child's parents. The parents were visibly upset, and very angry, which resulted as an impromptu meeting with my bosses.

The decision was made to have two teachers in the classroom at all times when the child is present. The second teacher's job is that of a "bodyguard", following the child everywhere, watching him at all times, preventing him from being hurt. When the child leaves for the day, the second teacher also leaves.

Due to this decision, having two teachers in the classroom results in a staffing shortage, directors in classrooms teaching and covering breaks, and our cook in a classroom which puts her behind schedule, resulting in dishes not being done and snack not ready on time. Furthermore, it presents a problem between 10:30a-12:00p, which is pick-up/school lunch/drop-off, where it is crucial to have a teacher. Prior to this new placement of a second teacher in the classroom, the second teacher would have been with one of the classes that eats during this time period. For most of last week, our cook covered the time period, and one day I covered it. Due to my being needed in the lunch group, I had to take this child with me, who clearly wasn't happy with the arrangement. He cried when we got into the other classroom, barely ate anything, cried after we were finished with lunch, and cried while we were in the multi-purpose room. He doesn't handle change very well, and enjoys being with his own class. Whenever the second teacher is needed elsewhere, she has to take the child with her, which upsets him, as evident by his crying.

The other teacher who was in the classroom with me mentioned to my boss that this child would most likely cry at this arrangement, and she said there was nothing else we can do, he is going to have to cry it out. I love both of my bosses to death, and understand that they are only fulfilling a parental request, however, I can't help but think that this decision puts more stress on the staff and the overall flow of the day. The teacher who was present when the child fell most recently is a sweet girl who did not intend for this to happen, contrary to parental thoughts. She took every precaution to prevent something like this from happening, and it happened, which was beyond her control. (There is a videotape to prove the fall was accidental.) If there are two teachers in the classroom, the child could still fall and get hurt. I understand that the parents are upset about their child being hurt, however, I do think they are overreacting. Their child is going to fall, and no matter what precaution they or teachers take, a fall will happen. As their child gets older, are they expecting the public school to provide a teacher to follow him around, ensuring his safety at all times?

I am considering talking to my boss about this arrangement, because I don't think this solution is working, and I think they realize that. I would like to hear the thoughts of parents, nannies, and childcare professionals about this situation and if they think the parents are overreacting. I am also wondering if anyone has a solution to accommodate the parents request, without causing a staffing shortage and upsetting the child. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.

Advice Needed for Interview

I have an interview on Wednesday, and I was hoping to get some advice. The job is to take care of a 3 year old and a 5 year old, some child related housekeeping and cooking. Most of my experience is with babies and toddlers, but I have taken care of older kids. There is only one other candiate for this job besides me, and I really need and want this job. The hours are 8:30-5:30 Monday-Friday with Thursdays mornings off sometimes. Also, it would be the most money I have ever gotten. I would be their 4th nanny, the others left to pursue their careers (the last one was studying to be a nurse). And the dad works from home. The older one goes to year round kindergarden all day and the younger one goes to preschool two mornings a week. They would pay even when they don't use me... and paid vacations, which are new to me.

Any Ideas on How to Unwind?

Hey! I'm in a really stressful Nanny job right now...even the best ones have their stressful-Hell days. As someone who is a ft nanny as well as ft student, I have VERY limited time to myself. How can I unwind and destress quickly? How do all the other nannys unwind and drestress quickly and cheaply so that they can make the best of their time off? Stress is so corrosive! Help!

Nanny Needs Advice for (Possibly) Autistic Child

Hello, i have just stumbled across this forum and i feel like its a blessing!! Let me explain my situation, I am 24 and have currently been nannying for my currently family for 6months. The family is based in spain but are english-as i am. I started working for the family 6months ago, mum was 8 months pregnant and also has a 2year old daughter, for the first month i cared for the little girl in the house in england - with mum and grandma around. At first i noticed a few unusaul things that i hadn't encountered before, the little girl walks around on her tip toes all the time and when she has to walk flat footed she stumbles, i brought it up with mum who replied "Thats just how she walks". On my 3rd day i was told that the only way the child napped is if she was walked around in circles in her buggy- i tried this and sometimes it would work, but often took up to an hour of me walking in circles. When it didn't work i was told to put her in front of the tv in her buggy. This child spent and still does most of the day in front of the television watching mickey mouse or special agent oso.

So after the baby was born we went over to spain. I work 7days a week 12 hours a day. I do this so that whenever we are back in england I can have the time off. Since we have returned the childs behavior has got worse. She is now 27 months old and does not speak a word. She screams and shout's at everything, if the wrong tv channel is on she screams (i dont mean a scream i mean blood curdling - makes me jump scream!) if you say no she screams if u cannot guess what she wants she screams. She makes no attempt to speak at all. She is still in a cot, and mum constantly picks her up, she also cannot walk upstairs unaided. She goes to nursey mon-friday 10-3 and i have witnessed the same behavior there. She refuses breakfast - (as at nursey she is given biscuits) she refuses dinner, mum or myself constantly make different things, with mum sometimes offering her 10 different things, most of which she just throws on the floor then screams. She still sits in a high chair and does not look away from the tv at all. She never really plays alone - and if she does it's very rare. Mum does EVERYTHING she wants, if the child pulls her clothes no matter watch she's doing she goes with her, she is ruled by a 2 year old. We only ever leave the house with her at the weekend and go somewhere for "an hour" as mum is obviously embarrased at her behavior, and after an hour mum is bored and so is the child.

For the first month after we arrived in spain i still walked the child for an hour in attempt to get her to nap. In the end i started to refuse. I told mum i felt that by me walking her and when she didnt sleep her being put in front of the tv - that that was rewarding her behavior. Mum just said ok. A prime example of bad behavior from today. This morning i was getting her ready for nursey - whilst attempting to put her shoes on, she kicked me so hard it snapped my nail clean off - i told mum to which she replied, that must of hurt?! She refused to eat her dinner and continued to scream and shout, she kicked and bit mum and was just told - no. Not in a firm voice, just no. Which she ignored! The baby - who is now 5 months is not trouble at all - he is good - he naps well, he still doesn't sleep through the night but is all round a good baby, but he is disturbed by his sister - i often worry he is going to have heart failiure as he jumps out his skin everytime she shouts. The girl has nothing to do with the baby - to her he isn't there, if mum is holding him she grabs at him untill he is handed back to me. All in all i am in a right mess - i think the 2 year old may have a problem, the shouting/screaming/lack of interaction suggests to me she maybe slightly autistic, but i could never suggest this to mum!! Mum believes that she is just a bit difficult - thats all. She even told me she's not going to bother saying NO untill she can understand it?! So i'm here for advice, before i sink. It's getting to the point where i am upset every day and i simply do not know what to do - i am so un happy, and i am mainly only staying for the money and the baby. And i promised myself i would attempt a year. Oh and if you were wondering where dad is -he's on a golf course somewhere and has nothing to do with the children - he interacts sometimes for 10 mins max! All advice would be wonderfully received. Thank You.
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I am trying to be as sensitive as possible with the OP's Submission. I felt it was important to add in the Title that this child might possibly be Autistic as that is what the OP believes. I know there are some Readers here that have experience with Autistic children so I wanted to make sure they saw this post. Thank you, MPP.