I've witnessed something that's been going on for several days and I finally interceded but I'm afraid that I only made matters worse. Every afternoon at approximately 4:00 on the 79th Street crosstown bus in NYC there is a very large dark skinned, AA nanny who is extremely neglectful/abusive of two young children, a girl who is 4-5 years old and her brother who is 3-4 years old. Both children are small, thin, pale, blonde, blue eyed, and have a disheveled appearance. The nanny herself is clean and nicely dressed in dark clothes, and she always sits in a separate seat (even though there are plenty of seats available) and the boy always appears to be half awake and is hanging over the side of the seat. The girl is always stuffed into a jacket which is too big, and a backpack which is too small. She spends the entire trip literally begging the nanny to take the backpack off because it's hurting her (a small bright pink backpack), and she can't maneuver it herself. She starts out by asking politely (please, please help me) on Lexington Avenue, then starts to beg and cry and is screaming by the time we get to York Avenue (where they get off the bus and walk toward 80th street). Everyone on the bus usually turns around and gives the nanny "looks" but says nothing. I finally went over to the little girl and asked her if she needed help and she asked me to take off the backpack, which I did, and the nanny just sat there looking straight ahead and completely ignored what was going on (as always). When we got to our stop they went out the back door (the steps are quite high for a child, and the nanny grabbed the little girl by the arm and literally threw her off the bus, dragging the little boy behind her. I recently suffered a back/leg injury so I couldn't follow them to find out where they live, but I'm very concerned that these children are not just being neglected, but also abused. I'm going to start carrying a camera so I can get photos of them if/when it happens again. If anyone recognizes the children from this description, please alert someone. Thank you.
Saturday
79th Street crosstown bus in NYC
Received Saturday, May 31, 2008
I've witnessed something that's been going on for several days and I finally interceded but I'm afraid that I only made matters worse. Every afternoon at approximately 4:00 on the 79th Street crosstown bus in NYC there is a very large dark skinned, AA nanny who is extremely neglectful/abusive of two young children, a girl who is 4-5 years old and her brother who is 3-4 years old. Both children are small, thin, pale, blonde, blue eyed, and have a disheveled appearance. The nanny herself is clean and nicely dressed in dark clothes, and she always sits in a separate seat (even though there are plenty of seats available) and the boy always appears to be half awake and is hanging over the side of the seat. The girl is always stuffed into a jacket which is too big, and a backpack which is too small. She spends the entire trip literally begging the nanny to take the backpack off because it's hurting her (a small bright pink backpack), and she can't maneuver it herself. She starts out by asking politely (please, please help me) on Lexington Avenue, then starts to beg and cry and is screaming by the time we get to York Avenue (where they get off the bus and walk toward 80th street). Everyone on the bus usually turns around and gives the nanny "looks" but says nothing. I finally went over to the little girl and asked her if she needed help and she asked me to take off the backpack, which I did, and the nanny just sat there looking straight ahead and completely ignored what was going on (as always). When we got to our stop they went out the back door (the steps are quite high for a child, and the nanny grabbed the little girl by the arm and literally threw her off the bus, dragging the little boy behind her. I recently suffered a back/leg injury so I couldn't follow them to find out where they live, but I'm very concerned that these children are not just being neglected, but also abused. I'm going to start carrying a camera so I can get photos of them if/when it happens again. If anyone recognizes the children from this description, please alert someone. Thank you.
I've witnessed something that's been going on for several days and I finally interceded but I'm afraid that I only made matters worse. Every afternoon at approximately 4:00 on the 79th Street crosstown bus in NYC there is a very large dark skinned, AA nanny who is extremely neglectful/abusive of two young children, a girl who is 4-5 years old and her brother who is 3-4 years old. Both children are small, thin, pale, blonde, blue eyed, and have a disheveled appearance. The nanny herself is clean and nicely dressed in dark clothes, and she always sits in a separate seat (even though there are plenty of seats available) and the boy always appears to be half awake and is hanging over the side of the seat. The girl is always stuffed into a jacket which is too big, and a backpack which is too small. She spends the entire trip literally begging the nanny to take the backpack off because it's hurting her (a small bright pink backpack), and she can't maneuver it herself. She starts out by asking politely (please, please help me) on Lexington Avenue, then starts to beg and cry and is screaming by the time we get to York Avenue (where they get off the bus and walk toward 80th street). Everyone on the bus usually turns around and gives the nanny "looks" but says nothing. I finally went over to the little girl and asked her if she needed help and she asked me to take off the backpack, which I did, and the nanny just sat there looking straight ahead and completely ignored what was going on (as always). When we got to our stop they went out the back door (the steps are quite high for a child, and the nanny grabbed the little girl by the arm and literally threw her off the bus, dragging the little boy behind her. I recently suffered a back/leg injury so I couldn't follow them to find out where they live, but I'm very concerned that these children are not just being neglected, but also abused. I'm going to start carrying a camera so I can get photos of them if/when it happens again. If anyone recognizes the children from this description, please alert someone. Thank you.
Friday
Y on 92nd and Lexington in NYC
Received Friday, May 30, 2008
Hi, I saw something I would like to report. This is not a race thing, to be clear. This is a nanny thing. The child was Anglo, about 2.5 y.o. with a pageboy style of hairdo, long lashes, wearing a pink and white striped linen jumper. The nanny was AA, with braided hair into a big, loose pony tail. She was wearing a navy t-shirt and jeans and very hot. This might have led to her impatience with the little girl. The little girl was crying in the stroller. Nanny made some attempt to soothe her, but grew impatient. The nanny's face was contorted as she blinked back rage. She started to swerve the push cart very harshly. The child cried louder and the nanny said, "stop, stop, stop" in an exhausted-at-the-end-of-her-rope voice. I was getting closer to the nanny who had now doubled back the opposite way. I could no longer see the nanny's face or the child but saw the nanny pick the stroller up off the floor and let it drop several times. Not far from the ground, mind you, but clearly in an angry attempt to stifle the child. I thought about going after her and I regret to say I did not go after her. The push cart was grey with a darker grey liner and black wheels. I did not note a brand name on it. The nanny was carrying a denim and leather hobo bag. It appeared she may have been leaving the Y. The time of day was 3:20 PM, (5/30).
Hi, I saw something I would like to report. This is not a race thing, to be clear. This is a nanny thing. The child was Anglo, about 2.5 y.o. with a pageboy style of hairdo, long lashes, wearing a pink and white striped linen jumper. The nanny was AA, with braided hair into a big, loose pony tail. She was wearing a navy t-shirt and jeans and very hot. This might have led to her impatience with the little girl. The little girl was crying in the stroller. Nanny made some attempt to soothe her, but grew impatient. The nanny's face was contorted as she blinked back rage. She started to swerve the push cart very harshly. The child cried louder and the nanny said, "stop, stop, stop" in an exhausted-at-the-end-of-her-rope voice. I was getting closer to the nanny who had now doubled back the opposite way. I could no longer see the nanny's face or the child but saw the nanny pick the stroller up off the floor and let it drop several times. Not far from the ground, mind you, but clearly in an angry attempt to stifle the child. I thought about going after her and I regret to say I did not go after her. The push cart was grey with a darker grey liner and black wheels. I did not note a brand name on it. The nanny was carrying a denim and leather hobo bag. It appeared she may have been leaving the Y. The time of day was 3:20 PM, (5/30).
Promenade in Brooklyn Heights, NY
Received Friday, May 30, 2008
Nanny Description: Nanny, 50-60 years old, wearing white shoes, white pants and a light blue t-shirt. Short curly hair, Caribbean or AA, medium sized.
Child Description: Boy 8-12 mos., wearing blue sandals, khaki shorts and a striped polo. Sitting in a McClaren stroller with a funky bright blue and yellow print, Caucasian, very cute.
What Happens: Beautiful day. Child in stroller. I am out walking, chasing after my own. That boy is still in his stroller. He is eating cheerios or something similar out of a small plastic container. Okay, so maybe the child is sick. Maybe they are just out for a breath of fresh air. Fine. Wait, is nanny asleep? Yes, nanny has dozed off. I check my watch. I look around. Are other people seeing this? Yes, that father is. We shake our head. I check my watch. A little girl screeches with excitement and the nanny is jolted awake. I ask you the parents of this little boy, is this situation okay with YOU??
Where: The Promenade in Brooklyn Heights.
Nanny Description: Nanny, 50-60 years old, wearing white shoes, white pants and a light blue t-shirt. Short curly hair, Caribbean or AA, medium sized.
Child Description: Boy 8-12 mos., wearing blue sandals, khaki shorts and a striped polo. Sitting in a McClaren stroller with a funky bright blue and yellow print, Caucasian, very cute.
What Happens: Beautiful day. Child in stroller. I am out walking, chasing after my own. That boy is still in his stroller. He is eating cheerios or something similar out of a small plastic container. Okay, so maybe the child is sick. Maybe they are just out for a breath of fresh air. Fine. Wait, is nanny asleep? Yes, nanny has dozed off. I check my watch. I look around. Are other people seeing this? Yes, that father is. We shake our head. I check my watch. A little girl screeches with excitement and the nanny is jolted awake. I ask you the parents of this little boy, is this situation okay with YOU??
Where: The Promenade in Brooklyn Heights.
The Hands Off Nanny ...
Received Friday, May 30, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I have a situation with a neighbor of mine that I am not on the best of terms with. She has two children between 7-10 and one nanny who has been with her two months. The nanny looks like the perfect nanny. She is tanned, toned, wears no make-up, hair in a pony tail and is always dressed for a sporty activity. Unfortunately, I never see her with the children. During the day, she runs errands as part of her job but when the children come home, I imagine her job as a nanny is to take care of the children. I have told these children not to come over before 4:30 because my children are taking care of homework and other responsibilities. These children are out in the street playing soccer, football and running around. By the time 4:30 rolls around they are waiting outside of our house. My children don't mind, but I mind. The nanny is nowhere in sight. I never see her lean out and check on the children nor do they reference having to check in. I understand that they are old enough to play outside in our very safe, residential area. The children also want to come in to our house and play. My youngest child is a favorite playmate for both of them. Children come over, I understand that but these children are always over. I have even sought to send my children there but they have told me "Megan doesn't want any over to mess up the house" or a similar sentiment. Last week when it was raining, they were riding their bikes in the rain, having the time of their life. My question to you is how would I tip off this woman that her nanny isn't really doing her job? I don't want to get involved. I don't like this woman and don't socialize with her at all. Still I cannot help but think the nanny is taking advantage of me as she takes advantage of her, too. Because the incident all take place in our very immediate, secluded residential area, it is unlikely anyone but a handful of immediate neighbors are aware of this situation. Just the same, I would like it to end. Any ideas?
I have a situation with a neighbor of mine that I am not on the best of terms with. She has two children between 7-10 and one nanny who has been with her two months. The nanny looks like the perfect nanny. She is tanned, toned, wears no make-up, hair in a pony tail and is always dressed for a sporty activity. Unfortunately, I never see her with the children. During the day, she runs errands as part of her job but when the children come home, I imagine her job as a nanny is to take care of the children. I have told these children not to come over before 4:30 because my children are taking care of homework and other responsibilities. These children are out in the street playing soccer, football and running around. By the time 4:30 rolls around they are waiting outside of our house. My children don't mind, but I mind. The nanny is nowhere in sight. I never see her lean out and check on the children nor do they reference having to check in. I understand that they are old enough to play outside in our very safe, residential area. The children also want to come in to our house and play. My youngest child is a favorite playmate for both of them. Children come over, I understand that but these children are always over. I have even sought to send my children there but they have told me "Megan doesn't want any over to mess up the house" or a similar sentiment. Last week when it was raining, they were riding their bikes in the rain, having the time of their life. My question to you is how would I tip off this woman that her nanny isn't really doing her job? I don't want to get involved. I don't like this woman and don't socialize with her at all. Still I cannot help but think the nanny is taking advantage of me as she takes advantage of her, too. Because the incident all take place in our very immediate, secluded residential area, it is unlikely anyone but a handful of immediate neighbors are aware of this situation. Just the same, I would like it to end. Any ideas?
Thursday
Why I'm Proud to Not be "One of the Family"
Received Thursday, May 29, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I've been a nanny in New York City for six years. I'm worked as a live-in nanny for Family A for two years, a live-out nanny for Family B for three years, and now I'm happily working as a live-in nanny for an UES family with two children (Family C).
I was 19 when I began with Family A and I could not have asked for a better family to live with and work for. We quickly became very close and to this day I spend a great deal of time with both the parents and the kids. At that time in my life I still needed the structure of a family around me, I needed someone taking an interest in where I was going on the weekends, who I was with, who I was dating, etc. My parents loved that they could count on Family A to know where I was on a given evening and that they had genuine concern for me as a member of their family. I still spend a great deal of time with Family A, we travel together and now that the kids are older I play this strange sister/daughter/aunt role in their family. Sometimes I'll visit and just spend hours talking with the mom over coffee.
I was 25 when I started to work for Family B. Just as with Family A, they talked a great deal about me being "one of the family" and in many ways they lived up to that ideal, but something was always a bit off. The parents bitterly fought in front of me and confided in me details about their marriage and sex life that I never, ever wanted to know. They never respected my set hours and excused it by saying that it was so nice to have me as part of the family or part of the team because I was so flexible. It blew their mind that I wanted to be compensated for Saturday & Sunday (days I was not paid to work) while I went on vacation with them. I was constantly put in awkward positions because of the terrible relationships either parent had with their in-laws, for example, being left to prepare, serve, take part in and then clean up from a dinner party while the mom hid in her bedroom, upset from something her MIL had said (and my contract pointedly stipulated that I would never be asked to cook for adults). The father, especially, was constantly jealous of my relationship with his kids, he saw me frequently as a rival for their affection.
It's strange to look back at my years with Family B because while they were happening it didn't occur much to me how they took advantage of me. I was still operating under the assumption that a nanny should be "one of the family", and frankly, they fed my ego because they were such a very needy family.
I left Family B to work for Family C almost a year ago. It was a tough transition because, although I was very upfront about looking for a new job and gave the family more than 6 months notice, they were angry with me for leaving them. The parents made their emotions very clear and that it made it very hard for me to communicate to the children that my moving on was not a personal attack on them. The father asked me about each interview I had, in front of the kids, asking about salary and hours, which I felt was very inappropriate. The mother pulled out every passive aggressive trick up her sleeve to trip me up in my final weeks in her home, including making me think she had given one of my prospective employers a bad reference.
Now that I've worked for Family C for almost a year I can say unequivocally that I am happy to not be one of the family, but rather a very highly regarded professional. My hours are respected, and Family C never has me running non-childcare related errands (even though, because I appreciate the great job I have, I would happily run them). The parents keep the problems that are not related to their children to themselves and although they take an interest in my life, they do so as one adult to another. They've never given me unsolicited personal advice (and I've never solicited any). They give me time off when we're traveling instead of assuming that it's a pleasure to spend 24/7 with them and their kids. Also when we're traveling, especially in Europe where everything is so much more expensive, they give me a daily personal allowance because they understand that I'm not there as a sightseeing family member, but rather it's a business trip for me and they don't think I should be responsible for the cost of things, even in my free time.
All the expectations are spelled out clearly with Family C. I'm not thought of as a mind reader about things like what friends they want the kids to play with or what food they want them to eat. If there's something they feel I should know about the kids, they tell me. They love that the kids and I have bonded because they know that it's important that we have a good relationship. They love that I can provide a window into what's going on in the kids' lives because I'm there during the day, they aren't threatened when I reveal some bit of news or insight.
I understand that each family I've worked for is unique and that Family B would have been a challenge whether I kept myself separate and didn't fall for the seduction of being "one of the family". I wouldn't trade my experience as part of Family A for the world, it was part of my maturing and acquiring the professionalism I now can offer a family--but for the future, I'd much rather be a trusted professional rather than "one of the family". It seems trusted professionals get paid much more, anyway ;-)
I've been a nanny in New York City for six years. I'm worked as a live-in nanny for Family A for two years, a live-out nanny for Family B for three years, and now I'm happily working as a live-in nanny for an UES family with two children (Family C).
I was 19 when I began with Family A and I could not have asked for a better family to live with and work for. We quickly became very close and to this day I spend a great deal of time with both the parents and the kids. At that time in my life I still needed the structure of a family around me, I needed someone taking an interest in where I was going on the weekends, who I was with, who I was dating, etc. My parents loved that they could count on Family A to know where I was on a given evening and that they had genuine concern for me as a member of their family. I still spend a great deal of time with Family A, we travel together and now that the kids are older I play this strange sister/daughter/aunt role in their family. Sometimes I'll visit and just spend hours talking with the mom over coffee.
I was 25 when I started to work for Family B. Just as with Family A, they talked a great deal about me being "one of the family" and in many ways they lived up to that ideal, but something was always a bit off. The parents bitterly fought in front of me and confided in me details about their marriage and sex life that I never, ever wanted to know. They never respected my set hours and excused it by saying that it was so nice to have me as part of the family or part of the team because I was so flexible. It blew their mind that I wanted to be compensated for Saturday & Sunday (days I was not paid to work) while I went on vacation with them. I was constantly put in awkward positions because of the terrible relationships either parent had with their in-laws, for example, being left to prepare, serve, take part in and then clean up from a dinner party while the mom hid in her bedroom, upset from something her MIL had said (and my contract pointedly stipulated that I would never be asked to cook for adults). The father, especially, was constantly jealous of my relationship with his kids, he saw me frequently as a rival for their affection.
It's strange to look back at my years with Family B because while they were happening it didn't occur much to me how they took advantage of me. I was still operating under the assumption that a nanny should be "one of the family", and frankly, they fed my ego because they were such a very needy family.
I left Family B to work for Family C almost a year ago. It was a tough transition because, although I was very upfront about looking for a new job and gave the family more than 6 months notice, they were angry with me for leaving them. The parents made their emotions very clear and that it made it very hard for me to communicate to the children that my moving on was not a personal attack on them. The father asked me about each interview I had, in front of the kids, asking about salary and hours, which I felt was very inappropriate. The mother pulled out every passive aggressive trick up her sleeve to trip me up in my final weeks in her home, including making me think she had given one of my prospective employers a bad reference.
Now that I've worked for Family C for almost a year I can say unequivocally that I am happy to not be one of the family, but rather a very highly regarded professional. My hours are respected, and Family C never has me running non-childcare related errands (even though, because I appreciate the great job I have, I would happily run them). The parents keep the problems that are not related to their children to themselves and although they take an interest in my life, they do so as one adult to another. They've never given me unsolicited personal advice (and I've never solicited any). They give me time off when we're traveling instead of assuming that it's a pleasure to spend 24/7 with them and their kids. Also when we're traveling, especially in Europe where everything is so much more expensive, they give me a daily personal allowance because they understand that I'm not there as a sightseeing family member, but rather it's a business trip for me and they don't think I should be responsible for the cost of things, even in my free time.
All the expectations are spelled out clearly with Family C. I'm not thought of as a mind reader about things like what friends they want the kids to play with or what food they want them to eat. If there's something they feel I should know about the kids, they tell me. They love that the kids and I have bonded because they know that it's important that we have a good relationship. They love that I can provide a window into what's going on in the kids' lives because I'm there during the day, they aren't threatened when I reveal some bit of news or insight.
I understand that each family I've worked for is unique and that Family B would have been a challenge whether I kept myself separate and didn't fall for the seduction of being "one of the family". I wouldn't trade my experience as part of Family A for the world, it was part of my maturing and acquiring the professionalism I now can offer a family--but for the future, I'd much rather be a trusted professional rather than "one of the family". It seems trusted professionals get paid much more, anyway ;-)
Wednesday
East 34 Street at FDR Drive in NYC
Received Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Nanny dropped a baby. Yep. Nanny was taking baby of about 10-14 months out of a brown, tan and grey Perego stroller and attempting to insert baby in to carrier near the East 34th Street Ferry, ( E. 34th/FDR Drive) . The child fell to the ground landing on her rump, crying hysterically. Nanny rushed to pick up the baby, looking around to see if anyone had seen her. Nanny began soothing and shushing the child, I think in more of an attempt to quiet the cry that blasted the fall than to soothe the child. I only say this because I rushed over and asked if the baby was okay and the nanny said sharply, "yes, yes, she didn't hit anything". Then I said, "Aweeeee" about to remark on how pretty she was and the nanny said, "you are making it worse!" The little girl was dressed in a navy blue and white dress with three buttons on the chest. It was a nautical themed dress and the little girl had the cutest little face, pudgy body and soft, blonde curls. Adorable child. This could have happened to anyone, unfortunately it happened to your child. I watched nanny walk away and she seemed to be struggling with her appendages. The child was back in the stroller but the nanny still had the carrier fastened around her, she was carrying a large straw bag and wearing gold colored flats that seemed to be way too big for her because her feet kept stepping out of them. Interestingly enough, when I approached the nanny, her sunglasses were all steamed up. Steamed up. Twice during our brief encounter she took them off and wiped them clear. Maybe nanny isn't used to city strolling? I am pretty sure the baby is okay, I just thought it was an interesting study on how a nanny behaved in public. In addition to sun glasses and gold flats, nanny was wearing faded blue jeans that went to her ankles and she was about 30, a petite Filipino with a short curly hair cut and a few extra pounds.
Nanny dropped a baby. Yep. Nanny was taking baby of about 10-14 months out of a brown, tan and grey Perego stroller and attempting to insert baby in to carrier near the East 34th Street Ferry, ( E. 34th/FDR Drive) . The child fell to the ground landing on her rump, crying hysterically. Nanny rushed to pick up the baby, looking around to see if anyone had seen her. Nanny began soothing and shushing the child, I think in more of an attempt to quiet the cry that blasted the fall than to soothe the child. I only say this because I rushed over and asked if the baby was okay and the nanny said sharply, "yes, yes, she didn't hit anything". Then I said, "Aweeeee" about to remark on how pretty she was and the nanny said, "you are making it worse!" The little girl was dressed in a navy blue and white dress with three buttons on the chest. It was a nautical themed dress and the little girl had the cutest little face, pudgy body and soft, blonde curls. Adorable child. This could have happened to anyone, unfortunately it happened to your child. I watched nanny walk away and she seemed to be struggling with her appendages. The child was back in the stroller but the nanny still had the carrier fastened around her, she was carrying a large straw bag and wearing gold colored flats that seemed to be way too big for her because her feet kept stepping out of them. Interestingly enough, when I approached the nanny, her sunglasses were all steamed up. Steamed up. Twice during our brief encounter she took them off and wiped them clear. Maybe nanny isn't used to city strolling? I am pretty sure the baby is okay, I just thought it was an interesting study on how a nanny behaved in public. In addition to sun glasses and gold flats, nanny was wearing faded blue jeans that went to her ankles and she was about 30, a petite Filipino with a short curly hair cut and a few extra pounds.
The Nanny. her daughter & the wedding...
Received Wednesday, May 28, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Our beloved Nanny/Housekeeper is planning her beautiful daughter's wedding. They just got engaged. My nanny is paid well but she is not wealthy, having put 2 children through college, one child still in and one child preparing to attend. I have known this girl since she was a child and she has always dreamed of a Cinderella style wedding. I would like to help her realize this dream.The problem: Her father is very old-world, old school and proud. My offer to help pay for the wedding was kindly rejected by my nanny and I accept that. However it breaks my heart to hear of difficulty they are having finding a place that is both beautiful and affordable. I was wondering if it would be out of line to offer my home for the reception. It's a lovely restored Victorian, suitable to host a large indoor or outdoor party. I have hosted formal parties here with the same number of attendees as they plan to invite. My grounds are well manicured, with a small bridge, pond and garden; perfect for taking wedding pictures. My chef can arrange the menu to the couple's specifications. So it wouldn't be viewed as charity, they can have my chef purchase the food and hire the wait staff and pay for it or reimburse me, which would be quite a bit less then even the most modest of catering halls. My best friend thinks offering this would be an insult to them, as they have already refused my help. My husband thinks we should offer financial help or this option to the couple directly, but I don't want to make her parents uncomfortable. Does the offer of my home seem tacky?
Our beloved Nanny/Housekeeper is planning her beautiful daughter's wedding. They just got engaged. My nanny is paid well but she is not wealthy, having put 2 children through college, one child still in and one child preparing to attend. I have known this girl since she was a child and she has always dreamed of a Cinderella style wedding. I would like to help her realize this dream.The problem: Her father is very old-world, old school and proud. My offer to help pay for the wedding was kindly rejected by my nanny and I accept that. However it breaks my heart to hear of difficulty they are having finding a place that is both beautiful and affordable. I was wondering if it would be out of line to offer my home for the reception. It's a lovely restored Victorian, suitable to host a large indoor or outdoor party. I have hosted formal parties here with the same number of attendees as they plan to invite. My grounds are well manicured, with a small bridge, pond and garden; perfect for taking wedding pictures. My chef can arrange the menu to the couple's specifications. So it wouldn't be viewed as charity, they can have my chef purchase the food and hire the wait staff and pay for it or reimburse me, which would be quite a bit less then even the most modest of catering halls. My best friend thinks offering this would be an insult to them, as they have already refused my help. My husband thinks we should offer financial help or this option to the couple directly, but I don't want to make her parents uncomfortable. Does the offer of my home seem tacky?
20 Steps to Your Perfect Nanny (?)
Received Wednesday, May 28, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
These questions should be asked to the nanny, not handed to her.
1) Nanny, tell me about your earliest childhood memory.
2) Nanny what sports do you enjoy?
That is the opening question. Prepare to follow up. If she says soccer, ask her what position she plays and where she plays. If she plays tennis, ask her how often and what her best shot is. Everyone is going to say they play a sport. Follow up. If she roller blades, ask her if she owns a pair of roller blades. Ask her where she got them and how she likes them. If she says she hikes, ask her where. Ask her what she wears to go hiking and how long she usually hikes for and with who.
3) Ask the nanny about her family. Where is her family? What do the other grown children in her family do for a living. Where are her parents. Are they retired, if retired from what. Ask her what she did for Mother’s Day. The tone of all of these questions should reflect a profound interest in her as an individual and not an interrogation.
4) You will have weeded out anyone who smokes on the phone, but ask her again if she smokes. Ask her if she has any objection to having her hair follicles tested for tobacco usage or exposure. Watch her reaction. The last thing you want is someone smoking in your master bathroom with the vent on or being completely on edge because she doesn’t have access to her chosen poison.
5) Study the nanny’s outfit. How is she dressed? If it is cold outside, make certain it is warm enough inside for the nanny to remove her coat. Is she wearing appropriate undergarments? Are her clothes clean and neat? Is she overdressed? The nanny should be able to chase a child in the shoes she is wearing and easily sit down on the floor and erect a block castle without splitting a seam. Is her clothing too tight? Perfume too strong? Evaluate all of this.
6) Ask the nanny about arts and crafts. Does she enjoy doing arts and crafts projects? This is essential when children are young. What kind of crafts does she enjoy? Does she create art or crafts projects in her own time? What kinds of things did make with the last family she worked for. Get details. You need to assess the creative energy she is bringing to the table. The last thing you want is someone who can barely follow the directions on an Alex Craft kit.
7) Bath time. Ask the nanny how she would handle bath time for your child. This is relevant whether the child is 10 months of 5 years. If there are other children in the home, ask her what the other children would be doing or where they would be.
8) You should have weeded out all of those who were NOT r and First Aid certified, now ask to see those licenses as well as nanny’CPR driver’s license and social security card. Make a copy of all of them. Ask nanny if she has ever had an emergency with a child. Ask for specifics. Ask about how she has cared for sick children in her care. What did they have? What did she do for them? How did she dispense medication? Did she take the child to the doctor? Pick up the
prescription? What would the sick child do all day long? What are the signs of an earache? How does nanny take a child’s temperature? Does she know to add a degree to an axillary taken temperature?
9) Give her your children’s ages a few hints as to what they will not eat. Ask her what she would prepare for each child for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Do not allow her to be evasive. This is a good time to get a sense of her eating habits.
10) Ask the nanny if she would be willing to submit to a physical examination. Ask the nanny if she is currently on any medication. Has she had any surgeries? Has she ever filed for workmen’s compensation? Press for answers by speaking to her with optimism and genuine interest.
11) Ask the nanny for a list of work references. These would ideally be childcare references. Press for details about each of the positions. Is she still in contact with the families. Does she see the children? What was her least favorite part of each job. Every job has a least favorite part. Ask her if you are able to contact each of these references. Ask her if she has ever been fired from a position. Watch her reaction. Was she fired from a nanny job? This should not necessarily
Be a red flag. Many parents and nannies simply have unmanageable personality issues. Nannies have been fired for doing to wonderful a job or getting too close to the children in her care.
12) If you introduce the nanny to the children, study their interaction. The nanny should display genuine interest and ask questions of each of the children. She might ask about favorite toys or games or their rooms. Too much affection is unnatural for both the nanny and a child. Many parents feel they should offer the nanny the chance to hold the baby or that the nanny should ask to hold the child. It is common knowledge among nannies good and bad that parents want you to hold their child. I don’t go in for that. Depending on the age of the child, you could suggest a specific interaction between her and the child. I have had parents tell me they have asked the nanny to change the baby’s diaper. I don’t think that is a good idea and for a number of reasons.
13) General Intelligence must be assessed. Regardless of the age of your children, the nanny should be able to speak, read and write English correctly. The nanny should be able to help any children with mathematics, English, History and any other basic subjects. The nanny need not know trigonometry or Latin. The nanny should comprehend what good study habits are so that she can encourage and foster those in your child. The nanny should know how to use the appliances in the home, comprehend how to double a recipe, understand the dynamics of a family, most importantly your own. You would be surprised how many normally appearing persons you could weed out with one intelligence test.
14) Conduct. Politeness is hard to assess because most people are on their best behavior During an interview. A nanny spends much time with your child and should serve as a role model. Talk to the nanny about this and gage her responses. This is the time you want to discuss the other rules of the home. Is their sibling rivalry? How do you handle it? Has she ever dealt with sibling
rivalry before. Ask her how she teaches children empathy. Is compassion important in your home? Is lying ever tolerated? Children cannot help but become liars when they are lied to. What are the punishments? Give her a few scenarios and ask how she would handle the discipline there of. How was she disciplined as a child? Does she have her own children? How does she discipline them? Ask for an example of loss of privilege.
15) Your pre-screening will have weeded out any non drivers. Inform the nanny that you will conduct a DMV search of her record. Ask her about any accidents or tickets. Ask her when she learned to drive, who taught her how to drive and how many states she had a license in. Inform the nanny that before she is hired, you will need her to do a road test with you so that you
feel safe about her driving your children around.
16) Your pre-screening will have weeded out any non swimmers. Does she have any swimming certifications? If so, take those and copy those. Is she a strong swimmer? Where does she swim? How long has she been swimming? Before any person should ever be left alone with your child in or around a body of water, you must personally assess their swimming ability. The nanny should be able to retrieve objects from the bottom of the deep end. The nanny should also comprehend the danger of pools. If you have a pool, she should inquire about the shut off switch, the lighting, the rules of the pool, the drain cover, etc.
17) Common sense is quite hard to assess. Common sense is essential. This covers all areas of child development. A nanny who reads child development books is desirable. A nanny with an active and ongoing interest in issues related to children is a good bet. But common sense means not leaving a child alone in the bathtub or car for a single second, not suggesting the dryer as a hiding place during hide and seek. Is nanny the type to fall for an Internet scam? Does the nanny have a Myspace of Facebook page. Ask her.
18) Agencies have lengthy applications. Create your own. I rely on a medley of Psychiatric tests. The Rotter Incomplete Sentence Blank (RISB) ,Online
Cognitive Psychology Test, Emotional Intelligence Test , Anger Test, Thematic Apperception Test, etc. As an employer, you should not feel badly about asking a nanny to partake in these tests. Many employees do. Target won't hire someone to work a register without passing their psychological testing, don't you think your child deserves at least that? When you present these to the nanny, you should clearly state, you would like her to answer these questions but she does not have to.
19) The nanny must read. What does she read? What is the last book she read? Zero in on this. Where does the nanny get her news? What sorts of television Does the nanny enjoy on her own time? Are they shows you think she might end up watching on your time? What is the nanny’s favorite childhood story? What is her favorite story to read to a child?
20) After the interview is complete, I send the nanny on her way with a thank you. I immediately telephone her references. I do not accept cell phone addresses and will always ask for a home and or work number for her reference. ( (Phone Validator) ) I block my number when I am calling. I will telephone the reference back and ask them open ended questions. What was your favorite part of having Leeanne work for you? When did she start working for you? Did you provide her annual raises? What was she making when she left? Etc. I will take the reference number I have just spoken to and Reverse Look Up the address of the home. I will also Google the name of the reference and look up their home on GoogleEarth. This helps ascertain whether someone is really a reference or Just a friend or family member. I then verify the nanny’s social security number and certifications she has brought to me. I always make sure to get the nanny’s email address. I Google the nanny and I use her email address to look her up on social networking sites. I review her application materials. I look for spelling mistakes (for which I have no tolerance) and the answers She has given to the test questions. If everything looks good at this point, I contact nanny and let her know that I enjoyed meeting with her and the children really liked her and I feel her out to see if she is interested in joining us. If it sounds like she is, I will pay to have a complete background check completed on her. If this checks out, I will invite her back to spend a day or half day with myself and the children. During this time, I would plan to observe her driving at some point. I thank her and send her home with pay. I ask her to call me later and let me know how she thinks things went. If the Nanny is interested in the job, I make sure she understand the schedule. I make certain she understands what days I am willing to provide to her holidays and vacations. I stress that I am looking for someone who will show up punctually and without fail, excepting only an emergency. I really feel her out on this because it is important to me. If she sounds like she fits the bill, and all checks are clean, I usually send her to my mother’s home where the nanny can demonstrate her swimming abilities in an in home pool, regardless of weather. If that works out well, then I invite her to come and work for us on a trial basis of between 2 weeks to one month.
If you follow all of these steps, you might still end up with a dud. But it is much less unlikely. Just remember you cannot demand respect, you must behave respectably and treat others with respect to be respected. -submitted by "H", longtime ISYN reader and fan
These questions should be asked to the nanny, not handed to her.
1) Nanny, tell me about your earliest childhood memory.
2) Nanny what sports do you enjoy?
That is the opening question. Prepare to follow up. If she says soccer, ask her what position she plays and where she plays. If she plays tennis, ask her how often and what her best shot is. Everyone is going to say they play a sport. Follow up. If she roller blades, ask her if she owns a pair of roller blades. Ask her where she got them and how she likes them. If she says she hikes, ask her where. Ask her what she wears to go hiking and how long she usually hikes for and with who.
3) Ask the nanny about her family. Where is her family? What do the other grown children in her family do for a living. Where are her parents. Are they retired, if retired from what. Ask her what she did for Mother’s Day. The tone of all of these questions should reflect a profound interest in her as an individual and not an interrogation.
4) You will have weeded out anyone who smokes on the phone, but ask her again if she smokes. Ask her if she has any objection to having her hair follicles tested for tobacco usage or exposure. Watch her reaction. The last thing you want is someone smoking in your master bathroom with the vent on or being completely on edge because she doesn’t have access to her chosen poison.
5) Study the nanny’s outfit. How is she dressed? If it is cold outside, make certain it is warm enough inside for the nanny to remove her coat. Is she wearing appropriate undergarments? Are her clothes clean and neat? Is she overdressed? The nanny should be able to chase a child in the shoes she is wearing and easily sit down on the floor and erect a block castle without splitting a seam. Is her clothing too tight? Perfume too strong? Evaluate all of this.
6) Ask the nanny about arts and crafts. Does she enjoy doing arts and crafts projects? This is essential when children are young. What kind of crafts does she enjoy? Does she create art or crafts projects in her own time? What kinds of things did make with the last family she worked for. Get details. You need to assess the creative energy she is bringing to the table. The last thing you want is someone who can barely follow the directions on an Alex Craft kit.
7) Bath time. Ask the nanny how she would handle bath time for your child. This is relevant whether the child is 10 months of 5 years. If there are other children in the home, ask her what the other children would be doing or where they would be.
8) You should have weeded out all of those who were NOT r and First Aid certified, now ask to see those licenses as well as nanny’CPR driver’s license and social security card. Make a copy of all of them. Ask nanny if she has ever had an emergency with a child. Ask for specifics. Ask about how she has cared for sick children in her care. What did they have? What did she do for them? How did she dispense medication? Did she take the child to the doctor? Pick up the
prescription? What would the sick child do all day long? What are the signs of an earache? How does nanny take a child’s temperature? Does she know to add a degree to an axillary taken temperature?
9) Give her your children’s ages a few hints as to what they will not eat. Ask her what she would prepare for each child for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Do not allow her to be evasive. This is a good time to get a sense of her eating habits.
10) Ask the nanny if she would be willing to submit to a physical examination. Ask the nanny if she is currently on any medication. Has she had any surgeries? Has she ever filed for workmen’s compensation? Press for answers by speaking to her with optimism and genuine interest.
11) Ask the nanny for a list of work references. These would ideally be childcare references. Press for details about each of the positions. Is she still in contact with the families. Does she see the children? What was her least favorite part of each job. Every job has a least favorite part. Ask her if you are able to contact each of these references. Ask her if she has ever been fired from a position. Watch her reaction. Was she fired from a nanny job? This should not necessarily
Be a red flag. Many parents and nannies simply have unmanageable personality issues. Nannies have been fired for doing to wonderful a job or getting too close to the children in her care.
12) If you introduce the nanny to the children, study their interaction. The nanny should display genuine interest and ask questions of each of the children. She might ask about favorite toys or games or their rooms. Too much affection is unnatural for both the nanny and a child. Many parents feel they should offer the nanny the chance to hold the baby or that the nanny should ask to hold the child. It is common knowledge among nannies good and bad that parents want you to hold their child. I don’t go in for that. Depending on the age of the child, you could suggest a specific interaction between her and the child. I have had parents tell me they have asked the nanny to change the baby’s diaper. I don’t think that is a good idea and for a number of reasons.
13) General Intelligence must be assessed. Regardless of the age of your children, the nanny should be able to speak, read and write English correctly. The nanny should be able to help any children with mathematics, English, History and any other basic subjects. The nanny need not know trigonometry or Latin. The nanny should comprehend what good study habits are so that she can encourage and foster those in your child. The nanny should know how to use the appliances in the home, comprehend how to double a recipe, understand the dynamics of a family, most importantly your own. You would be surprised how many normally appearing persons you could weed out with one intelligence test.
14) Conduct. Politeness is hard to assess because most people are on their best behavior During an interview. A nanny spends much time with your child and should serve as a role model. Talk to the nanny about this and gage her responses. This is the time you want to discuss the other rules of the home. Is their sibling rivalry? How do you handle it? Has she ever dealt with sibling
rivalry before. Ask her how she teaches children empathy. Is compassion important in your home? Is lying ever tolerated? Children cannot help but become liars when they are lied to. What are the punishments? Give her a few scenarios and ask how she would handle the discipline there of. How was she disciplined as a child? Does she have her own children? How does she discipline them? Ask for an example of loss of privilege.
15) Your pre-screening will have weeded out any non drivers. Inform the nanny that you will conduct a DMV search of her record. Ask her about any accidents or tickets. Ask her when she learned to drive, who taught her how to drive and how many states she had a license in. Inform the nanny that before she is hired, you will need her to do a road test with you so that you
feel safe about her driving your children around.
16) Your pre-screening will have weeded out any non swimmers. Does she have any swimming certifications? If so, take those and copy those. Is she a strong swimmer? Where does she swim? How long has she been swimming? Before any person should ever be left alone with your child in or around a body of water, you must personally assess their swimming ability. The nanny should be able to retrieve objects from the bottom of the deep end. The nanny should also comprehend the danger of pools. If you have a pool, she should inquire about the shut off switch, the lighting, the rules of the pool, the drain cover, etc.
17) Common sense is quite hard to assess. Common sense is essential. This covers all areas of child development. A nanny who reads child development books is desirable. A nanny with an active and ongoing interest in issues related to children is a good bet. But common sense means not leaving a child alone in the bathtub or car for a single second, not suggesting the dryer as a hiding place during hide and seek. Is nanny the type to fall for an Internet scam? Does the nanny have a Myspace of Facebook page. Ask her.
18) Agencies have lengthy applications. Create your own. I rely on a medley of Psychiatric tests. The Rotter Incomplete Sentence Blank (RISB) ,Online
Cognitive Psychology Test, Emotional Intelligence Test , Anger Test, Thematic Apperception Test, etc. As an employer, you should not feel badly about asking a nanny to partake in these tests. Many employees do. Target won't hire someone to work a register without passing their psychological testing, don't you think your child deserves at least that? When you present these to the nanny, you should clearly state, you would like her to answer these questions but she does not have to.
19) The nanny must read. What does she read? What is the last book she read? Zero in on this. Where does the nanny get her news? What sorts of television Does the nanny enjoy on her own time? Are they shows you think she might end up watching on your time? What is the nanny’s favorite childhood story? What is her favorite story to read to a child?
20) After the interview is complete, I send the nanny on her way with a thank you. I immediately telephone her references. I do not accept cell phone addresses and will always ask for a home and or work number for her reference. ( (Phone Validator) ) I block my number when I am calling. I will telephone the reference back and ask them open ended questions. What was your favorite part of having Leeanne work for you? When did she start working for you? Did you provide her annual raises? What was she making when she left? Etc. I will take the reference number I have just spoken to and Reverse Look Up the address of the home. I will also Google the name of the reference and look up their home on GoogleEarth. This helps ascertain whether someone is really a reference or Just a friend or family member. I then verify the nanny’s social security number and certifications she has brought to me. I always make sure to get the nanny’s email address. I Google the nanny and I use her email address to look her up on social networking sites. I review her application materials. I look for spelling mistakes (for which I have no tolerance) and the answers She has given to the test questions. If everything looks good at this point, I contact nanny and let her know that I enjoyed meeting with her and the children really liked her and I feel her out to see if she is interested in joining us. If it sounds like she is, I will pay to have a complete background check completed on her. If this checks out, I will invite her back to spend a day or half day with myself and the children. During this time, I would plan to observe her driving at some point. I thank her and send her home with pay. I ask her to call me later and let me know how she thinks things went. If the Nanny is interested in the job, I make sure she understand the schedule. I make certain she understands what days I am willing to provide to her holidays and vacations. I stress that I am looking for someone who will show up punctually and without fail, excepting only an emergency. I really feel her out on this because it is important to me. If she sounds like she fits the bill, and all checks are clean, I usually send her to my mother’s home where the nanny can demonstrate her swimming abilities in an in home pool, regardless of weather. If that works out well, then I invite her to come and work for us on a trial basis of between 2 weeks to one month.
If you follow all of these steps, you might still end up with a dud. But it is much less unlikely. Just remember you cannot demand respect, you must behave respectably and treat others with respect to be respected. -submitted by "H", longtime ISYN reader and fan
Tuesday
Nudity Crackdown?
Received Tuesday, May 27, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I sent my nanny and my 3 y.o to the park midday today, (5/27). It was blustering hot. I sent a change of clothes for the 3 y.o so could go in the fountain. My nanny came home and said she could not change the 3 year old's clothes at the park. She let her go in in the clothing she was wearing and they came home wet. Hardly a big deal, but I am just concerned about her reasoning. She claims the park department is cracking down on naked children at the park because of pedophiles hanging around and perverts standing around taking pictures? Has anyone heard of this? I was at Diana Ross Park on Saturday, (5/24) and there was water to be played in. Many kids were playing in it. Most had clothing on but 2 or 3 were absolutely naked. I thought this was a bit weird given that it was the weekend and there were fathers a plenty hanging out with their children. What are your thoughts on this? One of the young children I saw on Saturday was too young to have been potty trained and I was concerned about him eliminating in the pool. Has anyone heard of a crack down on changing children at the park?
I sent my nanny and my 3 y.o to the park midday today, (5/27). It was blustering hot. I sent a change of clothes for the 3 y.o so could go in the fountain. My nanny came home and said she could not change the 3 year old's clothes at the park. She let her go in in the clothing she was wearing and they came home wet. Hardly a big deal, but I am just concerned about her reasoning. She claims the park department is cracking down on naked children at the park because of pedophiles hanging around and perverts standing around taking pictures? Has anyone heard of this? I was at Diana Ross Park on Saturday, (5/24) and there was water to be played in. Many kids were playing in it. Most had clothing on but 2 or 3 were absolutely naked. I thought this was a bit weird given that it was the weekend and there were fathers a plenty hanging out with their children. What are your thoughts on this? One of the young children I saw on Saturday was too young to have been potty trained and I was concerned about him eliminating in the pool. Has anyone heard of a crack down on changing children at the park?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Vancouver couple arrested for trying to sell baby on Craigslist
A Vancouver couple were arrested by police after posting an Internet ad on Craiglist, offering their seven-day-old baby for $10,000, police said Tuesday.
Couple Accused Of Keeping Frozen Baby Have Case Reset
A couple accused of keeping a baby in a motel freezer for a year were supposed to appear in court Tuesday but had their case rescheduled, KPRC Local 2 reported. Crystal Sosa, 25, and Dezmond Dewayne Blake, 28, were arrested after police found the baby's body in a zipped-up duffel bag inside the freezer in a room at the InTown Suites, 3000 state South Highway 6, on Friday. They were charged with tampering with evidence.
Spanish Village Holds Baby Jump
Grown men have been leaping over rows of babies in the north Spanish village of Castrillo de Murcia in an annual rite meant to ward off the Devil. Jumpers dressed as the Colacho, a character representing the Devil, bounded over clusters of bemused infants laid out on mattresses.
Reccomended by Jane:
The Furniture Detective -Great resource to find out the origin and worth of your furniture.
Twisters, Earthquakes and Floods- are your photographs safe?
Email Jane for an estimate on having your photographs scanned and saved to a CD Rom library.
A Vancouver couple were arrested by police after posting an Internet ad on Craiglist, offering their seven-day-old baby for $10,000, police said Tuesday.
Couple Accused Of Keeping Frozen Baby Have Case Reset
A couple accused of keeping a baby in a motel freezer for a year were supposed to appear in court Tuesday but had their case rescheduled, KPRC Local 2 reported. Crystal Sosa, 25, and Dezmond Dewayne Blake, 28, were arrested after police found the baby's body in a zipped-up duffel bag inside the freezer in a room at the InTown Suites, 3000 state South Highway 6, on Friday. They were charged with tampering with evidence.
Spanish Village Holds Baby Jump
Grown men have been leaping over rows of babies in the north Spanish village of Castrillo de Murcia in an annual rite meant to ward off the Devil. Jumpers dressed as the Colacho, a character representing the Devil, bounded over clusters of bemused infants laid out on mattresses.
Reccomended by Jane:
The Furniture Detective -Great resource to find out the origin and worth of your furniture.
Twisters, Earthquakes and Floods- are your photographs safe?
Email Jane for an estimate on having your photographs scanned and saved to a CD Rom library.
Diagnosed with diabetes....
Received Tuesday, May 27, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Advice from parents, nannies needed!
I have a wonderful nanny of nearly 2 years. My children adore her. We've a great relationship and I can count on her for everything. My problem. She went for a check-up and discovered she has diabetes. She is overweight but active with my kids. Since I know little about the disease, I looked up information online and am alarmed about leaving my children alone with her now. Since we only discussed it in passing, I did not get the full details, although I know she said she can be managed by a daily pill and weight-loss. When I told my husband, he suggested we look for a new nanny. He says she can't be relied upon anymore because she could pass out at any time. What do you guys think? Is it appropriate to sit down with her and ask involved questions about her diagnosis? Should I request a note from her doctor saying it's OK for her to continue in her position as a nanny to young children? Should I start looking and just give her a generous severance package and bonus? I am at a loss as to what to do.
Advice from parents, nannies needed!
I have a wonderful nanny of nearly 2 years. My children adore her. We've a great relationship and I can count on her for everything. My problem. She went for a check-up and discovered she has diabetes. She is overweight but active with my kids. Since I know little about the disease, I looked up information online and am alarmed about leaving my children alone with her now. Since we only discussed it in passing, I did not get the full details, although I know she said she can be managed by a daily pill and weight-loss. When I told my husband, he suggested we look for a new nanny. He says she can't be relied upon anymore because she could pass out at any time. What do you guys think? Is it appropriate to sit down with her and ask involved questions about her diagnosis? Should I request a note from her doctor saying it's OK for her to continue in her position as a nanny to young children? Should I start looking and just give her a generous severance package and bonus? I am at a loss as to what to do.
Monday
Unbalanced Babysitter Spotted in Bay Ridge, NY
Received Sunday, May 26, 2008
A nanny/babysitter was observed treating a child in a "abusive" way on Friday, (5/23). If this is your babysitter and you would like more details, please contact Jane and she will forward your email to the witness.
The child has glasses and dark brown hair and seems about 9, may be named Marianna. The child had bubble gum. Two other kids, probably siblings, were with her: a girl, approx. 6 and boy approx.2 The nanny was behaving and acting "imbalanced".
The babysitter is Spanish/Latino, has glasses, seems in her 40's with a medium build and works through an agency. She is usually only with the youngest child.
My babysitter has seen her at the park on 81st St & 7th Ave although this event happened in front of my house on 76th Street in Bay Ridge, NY.
A nanny/babysitter was observed treating a child in a "abusive" way on Friday, (5/23). If this is your babysitter and you would like more details, please contact Jane and she will forward your email to the witness.The child has glasses and dark brown hair and seems about 9, may be named Marianna. The child had bubble gum. Two other kids, probably siblings, were with her: a girl, approx. 6 and boy approx.2 The nanny was behaving and acting "imbalanced".
The babysitter is Spanish/Latino, has glasses, seems in her 40's with a medium build and works through an agency. She is usually only with the youngest child.
My babysitter has seen her at the park on 81st St & 7th Ave although this event happened in front of my house on 76th Street in Bay Ridge, NY.
Sunday
Hidden Camera Investigation....
IS YOUR CHILD SAFE WITH THE NANNY?
Momlogic.com is launching a hidden camera investigation and wants to hear from moms interested in seeing exactly what their sitter is up to while they're away. Would you like to participate and be part of our investigation? Ever wonder what your babysitter does when you are not home? Click here to possibly take part.
Momlogic.com is launching a hidden camera investigation and wants to hear from moms interested in seeing exactly what their sitter is up to while they're away. Would you like to participate and be part of our investigation? Ever wonder what your babysitter does when you are not home? Click here to possibly take part.
Stop and Shop in Mamaroneck, NY
Recived Sunday, May 25, 2008
I see so much negativity here and it really saddens me. I was recently at the Stop and Shop in Mamaroneck, NY and saw a wonderful nanny there. I have actually seen these two before at earlier times this time is was about 4pm on Friday the 23. The nanny is heavy but energetic that day she was dressed in dark flare jeans, a pink/white hoodie with a black jacket over your son was wearing light gray cords and an orange and dark blue t-shirt. The nanny's name is Christie and your son's name is Jack. He's very cute with a cherubic face and big blue eyes/brown hair.I saw them at different points in the store and as I said I've seen them before at this same store on a few other occasions. She truly loves your child. It's apparent in the way she speaks to him, shows him affection and engages with him. He's happy and at one point spontaneously said within my earshot "Oh Christie I love you" to which she responded "I love you too Jackie". It is just so nice to see a person who really likes her charge and seems to really enjoy his company. I hope the parents see this and know what a treasure they found. As a person who has had bad nanny experience in the past, I would love to have a nanny like this one.
I see so much negativity here and it really saddens me. I was recently at the Stop and Shop in Mamaroneck, NY and saw a wonderful nanny there. I have actually seen these two before at earlier times this time is was about 4pm on Friday the 23. The nanny is heavy but energetic that day she was dressed in dark flare jeans, a pink/white hoodie with a black jacket over your son was wearing light gray cords and an orange and dark blue t-shirt. The nanny's name is Christie and your son's name is Jack. He's very cute with a cherubic face and big blue eyes/brown hair.I saw them at different points in the store and as I said I've seen them before at this same store on a few other occasions. She truly loves your child. It's apparent in the way she speaks to him, shows him affection and engages with him. He's happy and at one point spontaneously said within my earshot "Oh Christie I love you" to which she responded "I love you too Jackie". It is just so nice to see a person who really likes her charge and seems to really enjoy his company. I hope the parents see this and know what a treasure they found. As a person who has had bad nanny experience in the past, I would love to have a nanny like this one.
Saturday
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Police Search For Day-Care Worker Who Allegedly Has Child Porn
Police are searching for a man wanted for possession of child pornography who reportedly was a staffer at an upscale day-care center in Manhattan.
Friday
Lincoln Park in Washington DC
Received Friday, May 23, 2008
Lincoln Park, Capitol Hill, Washington DC. While at the playground today, (5/23) I noticed your approximately 18 month old daughter nearly walk out of the playground, unbeknownst to your nanny, who had her back turned to her, talking to another friend of hers. You may want to talk with your nanny -- she was on her phone for quite some time, and didn't seem very attentive to your daughter. I was mostly concerned that your child nearly escaped the playground. I myself picked her up and asked who she belonged to. The park is lined by major streets, so it is very unsafe for such a small child to be wandering around. Your daughter has very curly blonde hair (shortish), pale skin and had on pink and purple clothing (lightweight cotton type of clothing). Your nanny had a white hoodie on, dark pants, and was black, perhaps partially hispanic, with a medium to light skin tone, and dark curly hair pulled into a pony tail.
Lincoln Park, Capitol Hill, Washington DC. While at the playground today, (5/23) I noticed your approximately 18 month old daughter nearly walk out of the playground, unbeknownst to your nanny, who had her back turned to her, talking to another friend of hers. You may want to talk with your nanny -- she was on her phone for quite some time, and didn't seem very attentive to your daughter. I was mostly concerned that your child nearly escaped the playground. I myself picked her up and asked who she belonged to. The park is lined by major streets, so it is very unsafe for such a small child to be wandering around. Your daughter has very curly blonde hair (shortish), pale skin and had on pink and purple clothing (lightweight cotton type of clothing). Your nanny had a white hoodie on, dark pants, and was black, perhaps partially hispanic, with a medium to light skin tone, and dark curly hair pulled into a pony tail.
The Budget Gourmet....
Received Friday, May 23, 2008 - Rant
In my life, I have never tasted kashi, not a single shred. I wouldn't eat oranges out of a can or jar, that's unnatural. So, why are their notes on the cans and jars of oranges, why is the kashi marked, "do not touch"? What's so special about that flavor of Progresso soup? If it's your favorite, maybe you should by three or four? Really I can't drink the propel? I really like the propel and those days I go straight through from 8:00-7:00, I am always looking for something healthy to grab so I can keep energized to chase after your two children. The barbecue sauce really bothers me. Have I ever in all my time here ever set about randomly barbecuing in the middle of the afternoon? Do you think I host secret nanny functions where I fire up your super special stainless steel grill? Do I even cook for you? How in God's name are your barbecue sauces in so much peril that you have to mark them, protect them? The last picture. I'm a nanny, I work all day with two children under five years old. You're really going to say no to the Ciroq vodka? "Please don't use". I'm working with your children during the day, are you suggesting it's okay to pour myself a shot of Hornitos or Johny Walker, so long as I keep my mitts off the oh so special because it's made from grapes and pimped by P. Diddy? Did you forget that you hired me from Utah? Do you remember specifically advertising in Utah because you were looking for a Mormon nanny. Do I ever go out? Reek of alchohol? And in your fancy, multi tiered pantry, why are certain pasta sauces off limits to me? Yes to the Ragu, Paul Newmans and Prego; No to the Raos and Patsy's? Do you eat the Ragu? I just don't understand you. You give me a car to drive, a nicer car than I will ever be able to afford, you pay the insurance on it, provide all of the gas and pay my easy pass, even for weekends and you never bat an eye, but this is what the pantry looks like? I'm a live-in nanny. Room and board is included in the deal. Are you worried that I will take advantage of you and gorge myself on blood oranges and Kashi? What is it? How bad could it possibly be?
In my life, I have never tasted kashi, not a single shred. I wouldn't eat oranges out of a can or jar, that's unnatural. So, why are their notes on the cans and jars of oranges, why is the kashi marked, "do not touch"? What's so special about that flavor of Progresso soup? If it's your favorite, maybe you should by three or four? Really I can't drink the propel? I really like the propel and those days I go straight through from 8:00-7:00, I am always looking for something healthy to grab so I can keep energized to chase after your two children. The barbecue sauce really bothers me. Have I ever in all my time here ever set about randomly barbecuing in the middle of the afternoon? Do you think I host secret nanny functions where I fire up your super special stainless steel grill? Do I even cook for you? How in God's name are your barbecue sauces in so much peril that you have to mark them, protect them? The last picture. I'm a nanny, I work all day with two children under five years old. You're really going to say no to the Ciroq vodka? "Please don't use". I'm working with your children during the day, are you suggesting it's okay to pour myself a shot of Hornitos or Johny Walker, so long as I keep my mitts off the oh so special because it's made from grapes and pimped by P. Diddy? Did you forget that you hired me from Utah? Do you remember specifically advertising in Utah because you were looking for a Mormon nanny. Do I ever go out? Reek of alchohol? And in your fancy, multi tiered pantry, why are certain pasta sauces off limits to me? Yes to the Ragu, Paul Newmans and Prego; No to the Raos and Patsy's? Do you eat the Ragu? I just don't understand you. You give me a car to drive, a nicer car than I will ever be able to afford, you pay the insurance on it, provide all of the gas and pay my easy pass, even for weekends and you never bat an eye, but this is what the pantry looks like? I'm a live-in nanny. Room and board is included in the deal. Are you worried that I will take advantage of you and gorge myself on blood oranges and Kashi? What is it? How bad could it possibly be?
Thursday
Madison Street Park in Hoboken, NJ
Received Thursday, May 22, 2008 -
You need to have a chat with your nannies.
Background:
I am a WOHM in NYC. We let go our nanny of 2 years about 2 months ago. Our child needed a different sort of care now that our daughter is two. Our former nanny did not read to the child, plan activities, participate in activities, like to walk far, want to take the child to any classes or programs, want to work late, want to travel with us, want to participate in potty training, etc. etc. etc. So, we sent her on her was with 4 weeks severance pay, which is double the recommended formula of 1 week for every year of employment for a live out, 2 weeks for every year of employment for a live-in.
Today:
I am home now as we haven't found the nanny we want yet. My arrival at the playground our neighborhood, (Madison Street Park in Hoboken) this afternoon, (5/22) was met with anger. Because I am a working mother, I don't know many of the mothers who would be at the playground on a Thursday afternoon. But your nannies knew me by my child. The two spent the time I was there (which was about 25 minutes) laughing, pointing their finger at my and my child and making rude comments alluding to the suggestion that I treated their friend like garbage. And taunting my presence at the playground by loudly saying, "bitch is never going to find another person to work for her, she should get mighty comfortable pushing that stroller". All sorts of comments again suggesting that the way we treated her friend was unfair.
In truth we gave their friend two more chances and then two more and then another. We liked her as a person but as a nanny she was nearly lethargic. She had bursts of energy but was no match for my child. The nanny has always been in to television, which worked well when our daughter was an infant. Things change. The job description tightened up as our child grew and began to explore and we saw her mind as the hungry sponge it was. So we let the friend go. This is how they treat me because of that? And this is how they treat my child?
These nannies care for children in the same age group as my children and were close witness to their behavior today. The children stared curiously as the two wicked nannies laughed and pointed and swore. I have to wonder if the parents who employ these nannies are comfortable with this sort of behavior around their child. I found their behavior as reprehensible as it was juvenile. I did not feel comfortable enough to approach the duo, so I didn't. I left with my child because the situation was uncomfortable and I was afraid to make it worse.
One of the nanny's is named Alicia or Letisha. She is white or Hispanic, short, with thick dark hair, ruddy skin and bad posture. She was wearing white pants and an orange long sleeved shirt. The other nanny was the louder, more obscene of the two. She is medium height, probably 315-345 pounds with a receding hairline, eyes set close together and a double chin. She wore lots of make up, dressed in black pants and a long black sweater and had a green print scarf around her neck. If these are your nannies, I wonder what you would think of the way they treated their previous play date. And I wonder what you think of the nannies being unkind to your child's previous playmate, a playmate the oldest of your children was desperate to say hello to. The largess nanny held her back. The big nanny watches two children who are 1 and a boy and 3 and a girl named Emma or Emily but called "Emmi". The nanny who is named Alicia or Letisha watches one girl who is right under three years old and is named Lauren.
You need to have a chat with your nannies.Background:
I am a WOHM in NYC. We let go our nanny of 2 years about 2 months ago. Our child needed a different sort of care now that our daughter is two. Our former nanny did not read to the child, plan activities, participate in activities, like to walk far, want to take the child to any classes or programs, want to work late, want to travel with us, want to participate in potty training, etc. etc. etc. So, we sent her on her was with 4 weeks severance pay, which is double the recommended formula of 1 week for every year of employment for a live out, 2 weeks for every year of employment for a live-in.
Today:
I am home now as we haven't found the nanny we want yet. My arrival at the playground our neighborhood, (Madison Street Park in Hoboken) this afternoon, (5/22) was met with anger. Because I am a working mother, I don't know many of the mothers who would be at the playground on a Thursday afternoon. But your nannies knew me by my child. The two spent the time I was there (which was about 25 minutes) laughing, pointing their finger at my and my child and making rude comments alluding to the suggestion that I treated their friend like garbage. And taunting my presence at the playground by loudly saying, "bitch is never going to find another person to work for her, she should get mighty comfortable pushing that stroller". All sorts of comments again suggesting that the way we treated her friend was unfair.
In truth we gave their friend two more chances and then two more and then another. We liked her as a person but as a nanny she was nearly lethargic. She had bursts of energy but was no match for my child. The nanny has always been in to television, which worked well when our daughter was an infant. Things change. The job description tightened up as our child grew and began to explore and we saw her mind as the hungry sponge it was. So we let the friend go. This is how they treat me because of that? And this is how they treat my child?
These nannies care for children in the same age group as my children and were close witness to their behavior today. The children stared curiously as the two wicked nannies laughed and pointed and swore. I have to wonder if the parents who employ these nannies are comfortable with this sort of behavior around their child. I found their behavior as reprehensible as it was juvenile. I did not feel comfortable enough to approach the duo, so I didn't. I left with my child because the situation was uncomfortable and I was afraid to make it worse.
One of the nanny's is named Alicia or Letisha. She is white or Hispanic, short, with thick dark hair, ruddy skin and bad posture. She was wearing white pants and an orange long sleeved shirt. The other nanny was the louder, more obscene of the two. She is medium height, probably 315-345 pounds with a receding hairline, eyes set close together and a double chin. She wore lots of make up, dressed in black pants and a long black sweater and had a green print scarf around her neck. If these are your nannies, I wonder what you would think of the way they treated their previous play date. And I wonder what you think of the nannies being unkind to your child's previous playmate, a playmate the oldest of your children was desperate to say hello to. The largess nanny held her back. The big nanny watches two children who are 1 and a boy and 3 and a girl named Emma or Emily but called "Emmi". The nanny who is named Alicia or Letisha watches one girl who is right under three years old and is named Lauren.
I am appalled....
Received Thursday, May 22, 2008 - Rant
I would just like to say.....
As a wonderful, dedicated and loving nanny, I am appalled by the amount of "bad" nannies out there. I, like you, think it is shameful for kids to be dragged around shopping, alternately ignored and yelled out, pulled, pushed, and emotionally neglected by a plethora of women and people without the necessary skills or capabilities to watch children.
However...I would also like to say I am almost more appalled by the constant negative connotations surrounding the people who watch most of your children 50 hours a week.
First and foremost it is your job as a parent to make sure that your children are happy and well-loved. That means paying people proper wages for their time, thanking them for extra work, and following through on promises you make during the hiring process, i.e "Time off with pay for sick days and holidays!"
Secondly, don't judge a book by it's cover. Maybe your nanny sighting is you witnessing a nanny who just needs a break. Maybe she has been working for two weeks straight while the parents are in Cancun on vacation and she knows her charge a thousand times better then you and knows he or she is happy and content to play by themselves. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have had to take my charges kicking and screaming from a playground because they don't want to leave. If you caught five minutes of our exchange, I might look like the worst nanny in the world, when really I am simply setting limits and boundaries for the kids I love and adore.
Thirdly and most importantly, you guys need a wake-up call. The expectations you hold nannies to on this sight are laughable. SAHM and working moms for that matter do not spend every waking hour playing with their children. At play Gym class I cannot tell you the amount of moms who talk the entire time while nannies and their charges roll and wrestle on the floor. Everyone is human. Everyone deserves some slack and their is a huge difference between serious neglect/abuse and the majority of sightings on here which sound like people with nothing exciting going on in their own lives.
Finally, as a side note, I would just like to say unless you KNOW (as in, you have proof) that someone is a nanny, you cannot say for sure. An African American women with a white baby does not automatically mean nanny, just as a middle aged woman dresses in house slippers does not spell mom.
Think about it.
I would just like to say.....As a wonderful, dedicated and loving nanny, I am appalled by the amount of "bad" nannies out there. I, like you, think it is shameful for kids to be dragged around shopping, alternately ignored and yelled out, pulled, pushed, and emotionally neglected by a plethora of women and people without the necessary skills or capabilities to watch children.
However...I would also like to say I am almost more appalled by the constant negative connotations surrounding the people who watch most of your children 50 hours a week.
First and foremost it is your job as a parent to make sure that your children are happy and well-loved. That means paying people proper wages for their time, thanking them for extra work, and following through on promises you make during the hiring process, i.e "Time off with pay for sick days and holidays!"
Secondly, don't judge a book by it's cover. Maybe your nanny sighting is you witnessing a nanny who just needs a break. Maybe she has been working for two weeks straight while the parents are in Cancun on vacation and she knows her charge a thousand times better then you and knows he or she is happy and content to play by themselves. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have had to take my charges kicking and screaming from a playground because they don't want to leave. If you caught five minutes of our exchange, I might look like the worst nanny in the world, when really I am simply setting limits and boundaries for the kids I love and adore.
Thirdly and most importantly, you guys need a wake-up call. The expectations you hold nannies to on this sight are laughable. SAHM and working moms for that matter do not spend every waking hour playing with their children. At play Gym class I cannot tell you the amount of moms who talk the entire time while nannies and their charges roll and wrestle on the floor. Everyone is human. Everyone deserves some slack and their is a huge difference between serious neglect/abuse and the majority of sightings on here which sound like people with nothing exciting going on in their own lives.
Finally, as a side note, I would just like to say unless you KNOW (as in, you have proof) that someone is a nanny, you cannot say for sure. An African American women with a white baby does not automatically mean nanny, just as a middle aged woman dresses in house slippers does not spell mom.
Think about it.
The Wonderfully, Popular Unstable Nanny
Received Thursday, May 22, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
(post deleted 5/23 1:21 PM EST)
From original author:
Hi, I got a call from someone who recognized the person in the post. Please delete-I don't want the girl I was discussing to find out about it.
Thank you
(post deleted 5/23 1:21 PM EST)
From original author:
Hi, I got a call from someone who recognized the person in the post. Please delete-I don't want the girl I was discussing to find out about it.
Thank you
JJ Byrne Park in Park Slope, NY
Received Thursday, May 22, 2008
This is not the most dramatic bad nanny sighting, but since I wouldn't be happy if this were my nanny, I thought I'd post it anyway. I have no description of the nanny, other than having dark skin (AA or island) as she was away from the child and with a group of other dark-skinned nannies. The child was around 2 years old, with light brown wavy hair and I believe brown eyes. He was wearing sneakers and light brown pants (which seemed to be falling off of him), and a white baseball type shirt, the kind with longer, dark blue sleeves. The shirt had pinstripes, and across the front and back was the name "Tigger" in the same cursive you would see on a baseball uniform. It looked like it was actually a onesy, as it was unbuttoned and flapping around behind him. Around 1:00 on Wednesday, (5/21) afternoon, I was able to leave work for a bit and take my son to JJ Byrne Park on 5th Ave. in Park Slope. Soon after, a group of 5 or 6 nannies with their charges entered from 5th Ave. and 3rd St. and walked to the other side of the park, where they all sat down on the benches that sit on the blacktop section between the dog run and the kiddie swings along 4th street. Only one sat on the bench that actually faced the playground, as the other two benches faced 4th St. and the dog run, respectively. A minute or two later I saw the little boy near us on the big jungle gym, or whatever they call it these days. He was by himself, and I glanced over at the nannies, but none of them even seemed to be paying any attention to the playground We walked up to the fenced-in toddler lot on the corner of 5th and 4th St., and I saw the little boy playing in the kiddie swing area (by himself), and then on the other side of the swings near the little steps, with the fence and swings between the child and his caregivers. In all fairness, I did notice one heavyset nanny standing and looking in the general direction of the slides, but she definitely wasn't looking towards this boy at the time. The child walked away, and we left.The problem as I saw it was that even if the nanny was looking in his direction (which she was not), and she could even see him on the other side of the swings (which she probably couldn't, unless she actually saw him walk back there), there was no way for any of these women to even come close to stopping him if he decided to run into the street, or help him if someone were to snatch him. My son is only 19 months and I know how quickly he can get away when he runs. Even in the wide open meadows of the park, away from traffic, I would never let him get even half the distance away from me, let alone in a small park with no fence so close to a major avenue.I just thought that if this was your child, you may like to know.
This is not the most dramatic bad nanny sighting, but since I wouldn't be happy if this were my nanny, I thought I'd post it anyway. I have no description of the nanny, other than having dark skin (AA or island) as she was away from the child and with a group of other dark-skinned nannies. The child was around 2 years old, with light brown wavy hair and I believe brown eyes. He was wearing sneakers and light brown pants (which seemed to be falling off of him), and a white baseball type shirt, the kind with longer, dark blue sleeves. The shirt had pinstripes, and across the front and back was the name "Tigger" in the same cursive you would see on a baseball uniform. It looked like it was actually a onesy, as it was unbuttoned and flapping around behind him. Around 1:00 on Wednesday, (5/21) afternoon, I was able to leave work for a bit and take my son to JJ Byrne Park on 5th Ave. in Park Slope. Soon after, a group of 5 or 6 nannies with their charges entered from 5th Ave. and 3rd St. and walked to the other side of the park, where they all sat down on the benches that sit on the blacktop section between the dog run and the kiddie swings along 4th street. Only one sat on the bench that actually faced the playground, as the other two benches faced 4th St. and the dog run, respectively. A minute or two later I saw the little boy near us on the big jungle gym, or whatever they call it these days. He was by himself, and I glanced over at the nannies, but none of them even seemed to be paying any attention to the playground We walked up to the fenced-in toddler lot on the corner of 5th and 4th St., and I saw the little boy playing in the kiddie swing area (by himself), and then on the other side of the swings near the little steps, with the fence and swings between the child and his caregivers. In all fairness, I did notice one heavyset nanny standing and looking in the general direction of the slides, but she definitely wasn't looking towards this boy at the time. The child walked away, and we left.The problem as I saw it was that even if the nanny was looking in his direction (which she was not), and she could even see him on the other side of the swings (which she probably couldn't, unless she actually saw him walk back there), there was no way for any of these women to even come close to stopping him if he decided to run into the street, or help him if someone were to snatch him. My son is only 19 months and I know how quickly he can get away when he runs. Even in the wide open meadows of the park, away from traffic, I would never let him get even half the distance away from me, let alone in a small park with no fence so close to a major avenue.I just thought that if this was your child, you may like to know.
Wednesday
NY Public Library on West 65th in NYC
Received Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I normally would never do this, but today a nanny at the 4pm story time at the NY Public Library on West 65th acted completely inappropriately. The nanny was AA, possibly from Trinidad or St. Lucia. Her charge is a boy, about 2 years old, curly brown hair--wearing a stripped shirt today. The nanny is about 5'8" or 5'9" and had her hair swept up in a bun on top of her head--also wearing a stripped sweater (purple-ish and cream, maybe). My child (a little girl), who happens to be on the rough side, went to hit your little boy (not in a mean way at all--more in a "move outta my way") and she barely touched him on the head. Your nanny was right there and went to strike (she raised her hand) to hit my little girl. I was standing there and told her "please do not raise your hand to my child...you don't need to hit a two-year old. she doesn't understand how rough she is yet". Well you nanny raised her voice and got sooooo defensive yelling that I am the one who needs to apologize etc. I was going to say sorry, but my daughter barely touched your little boy and they way your nanny quickly went to hit her leads me to believe she may be that way with your child! Also, your son didn't even notice my daughter until your nanny started acting really nasty...it was way out of line...I hope he doesn't witness this behavior often...not a good example for a child.
I normally would never do this, but today a nanny at the 4pm story time at the NY Public Library on West 65th acted completely inappropriately. The nanny was AA, possibly from Trinidad or St. Lucia. Her charge is a boy, about 2 years old, curly brown hair--wearing a stripped shirt today. The nanny is about 5'8" or 5'9" and had her hair swept up in a bun on top of her head--also wearing a stripped sweater (purple-ish and cream, maybe). My child (a little girl), who happens to be on the rough side, went to hit your little boy (not in a mean way at all--more in a "move outta my way") and she barely touched him on the head. Your nanny was right there and went to strike (she raised her hand) to hit my little girl. I was standing there and told her "please do not raise your hand to my child...you don't need to hit a two-year old. she doesn't understand how rough she is yet". Well you nanny raised her voice and got sooooo defensive yelling that I am the one who needs to apologize etc. I was going to say sorry, but my daughter barely touched your little boy and they way your nanny quickly went to hit her leads me to believe she may be that way with your child! Also, your son didn't even notice my daughter until your nanny started acting really nasty...it was way out of line...I hope he doesn't witness this behavior often...not a good example for a child.
Gates Canyon Park in Calabasas, CA
Received Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I was in Gates Canyon Park in Calabasas Tuesday morning, when I sighted a Hispanic nanny, wearing light blue jeans and a black and white striped t-shirt, in charge of two little girls, African American, one looked about 3 and the other about 7 mos or so. The older girl wore her hair in two puff pony tails on either side of her head and had a cute blue and white summer dress. The nanny planted the baby in her car seat, and the girl under a tree, and walked off to chat up her cell phone for a good 45 min or so. The older girl was obviously bored, watching the other kids play, she got up and wandered to the drinking fountain, where she struggled to reach it and started to cry. The nanny finally noticed this and walked to her, grabbed her hand and led her back to the tree. The little girl didn't get her drink, and the nanny never put down the phone. After awhile she went to talk to another nanny in the park who was far more attentive with her kids, and THAT nanny put the little girl on a swing to play! It was horrible to see all the obvious stay at home mom's in the park attentively playing with their kids, contrasted with all the nannies half heartedly watching/borderline neglecting kids while yapping on their phones...very sad...
I was in Gates Canyon Park in Calabasas Tuesday morning, when I sighted a Hispanic nanny, wearing light blue jeans and a black and white striped t-shirt, in charge of two little girls, African American, one looked about 3 and the other about 7 mos or so. The older girl wore her hair in two puff pony tails on either side of her head and had a cute blue and white summer dress. The nanny planted the baby in her car seat, and the girl under a tree, and walked off to chat up her cell phone for a good 45 min or so. The older girl was obviously bored, watching the other kids play, she got up and wandered to the drinking fountain, where she struggled to reach it and started to cry. The nanny finally noticed this and walked to her, grabbed her hand and led her back to the tree. The little girl didn't get her drink, and the nanny never put down the phone. After awhile she went to talk to another nanny in the park who was far more attentive with her kids, and THAT nanny put the little girl on a swing to play! It was horrible to see all the obvious stay at home mom's in the park attentively playing with their kids, contrasted with all the nannies half heartedly watching/borderline neglecting kids while yapping on their phones...very sad...
My old charge and her new nanny....
Received Wednesday, May 21, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I was at my previous job for 15 months when I had to leave for unusual circumstances. I am now working for a different family and I see my old charge and her new nanny out and about at story times, etc. I have noticed that this nanny shows up to the story time location on time with the child, but does not come to attend the actual reading of the stories until they are reading the last page of the last book. It bothers me Because I still adore the little girl and I think she's getting shafted of her time. Also, when I worked with this little girl she was bubbly and social, and now she just sits in the stroller and never smiles. Is there anything I can/should do about this, like tell my prior bosses? Or am I simply a bystander now that I don't work for them?
I was at my previous job for 15 months when I had to leave for unusual circumstances. I am now working for a different family and I see my old charge and her new nanny out and about at story times, etc. I have noticed that this nanny shows up to the story time location on time with the child, but does not come to attend the actual reading of the stories until they are reading the last page of the last book. It bothers me Because I still adore the little girl and I think she's getting shafted of her time. Also, when I worked with this little girl she was bubbly and social, and now she just sits in the stroller and never smiles. Is there anything I can/should do about this, like tell my prior bosses? Or am I simply a bystander now that I don't work for them?
Overbearing Grandmother.....
Received Wednesday, May 21, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I have recently started working with my new family about 6 weeks ago. They are wonderful. Completely easy-going and personable people. This week, however,the Mom's Mom is visiting and she is driving me nuts.She literally follows me around the entire day telling me what to do and how to do it. I'm trying to be as accommodating as possible, knowing that she will be leaving, but it's annoying! And last night I seriously lost sleep over it. How have other people handled the overbearing Grandma? Is there a way to politely get her to stop giving me orders? I wish there was a rule that nannies got paid more when annoying family visited. After all, we are doing more work.
I have recently started working with my new family about 6 weeks ago. They are wonderful. Completely easy-going and personable people. This week, however,the Mom's Mom is visiting and she is driving me nuts.She literally follows me around the entire day telling me what to do and how to do it. I'm trying to be as accommodating as possible, knowing that she will be leaving, but it's annoying! And last night I seriously lost sleep over it. How have other people handled the overbearing Grandma? Is there a way to politely get her to stop giving me orders? I wish there was a rule that nannies got paid more when annoying family visited. After all, we are doing more work.
Tuesday
The Nanny Share and Nutrition
Received Tuesday, May 20, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
My almost three year old is being taken care of a nanny as part of a nanny share. I have a problem that centerss around food issues. Our family chooses to eat very healthy. The other family which participates in the nanny share does not. The nanny enjoys the food at the other family's home better. That, I cannot blame her for. I have asked her to make food for our daughter at our home to take with them on the days they go to the other child's house. The problem is our child is picking up on the eating patterns of the other child. For lunch, it is not uncommon for the other child to have french fries and burgers and cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets and potato skins. I guess the other family keeps a freezer full of gourmet burgers and cheeses and Wolfgang Puck pizzas and TGIF appetizers. We of course offered the nanny to make her lunch at our house where we have plenty of fresh vegetables, whole grain breads, chicken breast, turkey, etc. The three year old is not a napper so the nanny has to eat in front of her. The problem is not just with the nanny, but with the other family and their daughter. This is not as simple as asking your nanny to make good food choices in your home, because the nanny share relegates the nanny and my child are at the other family's home 2.5 days per week. Because the nanny is working out so well and the little girl from the other family is such a darling and great playmate, I want to do all I can to preserve this situation. What do you think the other family would think of me making nutritional suggestions for the time the children were at their home? What if I offered to prepare lunches and snacks for all three of them? I don't want to insult anyone but my daughter will no longer eat tofu. She is now asking for things like chocolate covered oreos and "ritz bitz". I can and do say no when she is with me, but I am not happy that she is eating them at all, let alone developing an appetite for such foods. Advice?
My almost three year old is being taken care of a nanny as part of a nanny share. I have a problem that centerss around food issues. Our family chooses to eat very healthy. The other family which participates in the nanny share does not. The nanny enjoys the food at the other family's home better. That, I cannot blame her for. I have asked her to make food for our daughter at our home to take with them on the days they go to the other child's house. The problem is our child is picking up on the eating patterns of the other child. For lunch, it is not uncommon for the other child to have french fries and burgers and cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets and potato skins. I guess the other family keeps a freezer full of gourmet burgers and cheeses and Wolfgang Puck pizzas and TGIF appetizers. We of course offered the nanny to make her lunch at our house where we have plenty of fresh vegetables, whole grain breads, chicken breast, turkey, etc. The three year old is not a napper so the nanny has to eat in front of her. The problem is not just with the nanny, but with the other family and their daughter. This is not as simple as asking your nanny to make good food choices in your home, because the nanny share relegates the nanny and my child are at the other family's home 2.5 days per week. Because the nanny is working out so well and the little girl from the other family is such a darling and great playmate, I want to do all I can to preserve this situation. What do you think the other family would think of me making nutritional suggestions for the time the children were at their home? What if I offered to prepare lunches and snacks for all three of them? I don't want to insult anyone but my daughter will no longer eat tofu. She is now asking for things like chocolate covered oreos and "ritz bitz". I can and do say no when she is with me, but I am not happy that she is eating them at all, let alone developing an appetite for such foods. Advice?
I have three days to decide what to do...
Received Tuesday, May 20, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
In January, my good friend and I accepted a position with a very nice family in the suburbs where we go to school. The family had just had a new baby in December. The parents gave my friend and I each our own private room in the house with a private bathroom. The family provides 100% room and board for us. In exchange, they ask each of us to provide 20 hours of childcare per week for their baby. The baby is perfect. The job is very easy, it involves only childcare. Because my coworker is also my friend, we have been able to cover all the times our employers needed us and been able to keep to our school and social schedules. As the child has gotten older, I have enjoyed taking the child out to the parks and playground. She is too young to do much of anything but sit in a swing, but I enjoy getting out. As a result, I have met a number of mothers. One of the mothers has asked me about working for her this summer. She doesn't need me for the school year, just for the summer. My employer had already established this Friday as a day we would all sit down and talk about our summer schedules. This other woman has offered me $1,000 a week, which sounds wonderful. Then I have to consider that it is only from June 9 until August 28. The hours would be full time from 8-6 which is 50 hours per week. This would leave me unable to help the other family with the twenty hours I am committed to them. At the same time, this woman is not looking for a live in. I told her I really needed a live-in position and she suggested that we could work something out with the laundry room which has a full bathroom and plenty of space for a cot if I was interested. As a student, the $1,000 a week would be amazing. Of course, I wouldn't be able to take any summer classes and I would probably have to permanently quit my regular gig which works out nearly perfectly for my school schedule. My employer doesn't know I have an offer on the table. I just don't know what to do. I haven't discussed it with my good friend/coworker because I am afraid if given the option she could jump on it for herself, if I turned it down or even hesitated.I have three days to decide what to do.
In January, my good friend and I accepted a position with a very nice family in the suburbs where we go to school. The family had just had a new baby in December. The parents gave my friend and I each our own private room in the house with a private bathroom. The family provides 100% room and board for us. In exchange, they ask each of us to provide 20 hours of childcare per week for their baby. The baby is perfect. The job is very easy, it involves only childcare. Because my coworker is also my friend, we have been able to cover all the times our employers needed us and been able to keep to our school and social schedules. As the child has gotten older, I have enjoyed taking the child out to the parks and playground. She is too young to do much of anything but sit in a swing, but I enjoy getting out. As a result, I have met a number of mothers. One of the mothers has asked me about working for her this summer. She doesn't need me for the school year, just for the summer. My employer had already established this Friday as a day we would all sit down and talk about our summer schedules. This other woman has offered me $1,000 a week, which sounds wonderful. Then I have to consider that it is only from June 9 until August 28. The hours would be full time from 8-6 which is 50 hours per week. This would leave me unable to help the other family with the twenty hours I am committed to them. At the same time, this woman is not looking for a live in. I told her I really needed a live-in position and she suggested that we could work something out with the laundry room which has a full bathroom and plenty of space for a cot if I was interested. As a student, the $1,000 a week would be amazing. Of course, I wouldn't be able to take any summer classes and I would probably have to permanently quit my regular gig which works out nearly perfectly for my school schedule. My employer doesn't know I have an offer on the table. I just don't know what to do. I haven't discussed it with my good friend/coworker because I am afraid if given the option she could jump on it for herself, if I turned it down or even hesitated.I have three days to decide what to do.
Monday
Subway Platform - 59th Street and Lexington Avenue in NYC
Received Monday, May 19, 2008
Bad nanny sighting today, 5/19. The nanny and child were waiting on the subway platform. The nanny would occasionally look and lean for the train and so would the little girl. Mimicking the nanny! But about ten feet from her at times. The little girl had curly hair and was biracial- Asian and white. She was a teeny, petite girl who was very verbal because she was singing all sorts of songs while they waited. The girl had on a brown long sleeved dress with pink and white flowers, socks and tennis shoes. The nanny was a large nanny, with a heavy chest and large backside, African American, attractive, her face was very cherubic and kind looking. She had on light blue corduroys and a brown leather jacket. However she was distracted and not as attentive as she needed to be to the 3ish year old girl she was taking care of. The girl was spinning around and the nanny was fumbling for her cell phone and looking for her big grey knapsack for something. The child was most definitely in peril. A man dressed in a suit approached the nanny and pointed at the child and suggested that she hold the child's hand. The nanny made a guffawing sound and huffed and grabbed the child harshly by the hand. The nanny stood there with an angry look on her face until the subway came. (Gone was the kind looking face once it was brought to her attention that the child needed her).
Bad nanny sighting today, 5/19. The nanny and child were waiting on the subway platform. The nanny would occasionally look and lean for the train and so would the little girl. Mimicking the nanny! But about ten feet from her at times. The little girl had curly hair and was biracial- Asian and white. She was a teeny, petite girl who was very verbal because she was singing all sorts of songs while they waited. The girl had on a brown long sleeved dress with pink and white flowers, socks and tennis shoes. The nanny was a large nanny, with a heavy chest and large backside, African American, attractive, her face was very cherubic and kind looking. She had on light blue corduroys and a brown leather jacket. However she was distracted and not as attentive as she needed to be to the 3ish year old girl she was taking care of. The girl was spinning around and the nanny was fumbling for her cell phone and looking for her big grey knapsack for something. The child was most definitely in peril. A man dressed in a suit approached the nanny and pointed at the child and suggested that she hold the child's hand. The nanny made a guffawing sound and huffed and grabbed the child harshly by the hand. The nanny stood there with an angry look on her face until the subway came. (Gone was the kind looking face once it was brought to her attention that the child needed her).
Sunday
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Check out:
Dr Tanya Byron: Why am I so jealous of my daughter's nanny?
Advice on how to deal with a boisterous child who your nanny handles better than you do
Innovative New Ways To Monitor Your Nanny
(Channel 2 NY- Watch video)
.. emotionally, psychologically and verbally abused by their father...
Received Sunday, May 18, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I am writing to ask for advice and would appreciate any thoughts regarding the following situation: I have been helping to care for two children (ages 11 and 5)for the past year and a half, and I have reason to believe that both children and their mother are being emotionally, psychologically and verbally abused by their father. The older child has been exhibiting feelings of sadness and anger by acting out towards me and the younger child. After the latest episode that occurred this past week, I once again tried talking with the older child about why the child was exhibiting such negative behavior (name calling, mouthing off, ignoring me, showing disrespect). It was apparent that something was bothering this child. I was told by the youth that certain family things could not be discussed with me. Afterwards, the child opened up a bit about the father, who criticizes them (and I'm not talking about constructive criticism here)and who by all accounts has unrealistic expectations of what his wife and children should be like, particularly when it comes to their physical appearance. Both children are healthy; the older one is actually very thin. Their mother is healthy but very self conscious when it comes to her weight (she has mentioned this to me on more than one occasion, and never in front of the kids). I know for a fact that she has gone so far as to take diet pills in an effort to lose weight. I feel a lot of pain in this family, even without anyone saying anything. The oldest was so upset this week that this child started to cry in front of me, which has never happened before. This child also told me that when the father yells at them in the evening, the child can hardly sleep at night. The entire situation is very upsetting to me, to the point where I am now on-line in the middle of the night asking for advice. The older child does not want me talking about our conversation with either of the parents. I agreed to that for the moment since I'm afraid that if I do say something, it will only make the situation worse for the kids. I want to help them, but I don't know exactly how to bring about change to this situation without reprisals directed at the children. If anyone has suggestions, please let me know ASAP. I also intend to speak anonymously with a social worker about this for professional advice. Thank you
I am writing to ask for advice and would appreciate any thoughts regarding the following situation: I have been helping to care for two children (ages 11 and 5)for the past year and a half, and I have reason to believe that both children and their mother are being emotionally, psychologically and verbally abused by their father. The older child has been exhibiting feelings of sadness and anger by acting out towards me and the younger child. After the latest episode that occurred this past week, I once again tried talking with the older child about why the child was exhibiting such negative behavior (name calling, mouthing off, ignoring me, showing disrespect). It was apparent that something was bothering this child. I was told by the youth that certain family things could not be discussed with me. Afterwards, the child opened up a bit about the father, who criticizes them (and I'm not talking about constructive criticism here)and who by all accounts has unrealistic expectations of what his wife and children should be like, particularly when it comes to their physical appearance. Both children are healthy; the older one is actually very thin. Their mother is healthy but very self conscious when it comes to her weight (she has mentioned this to me on more than one occasion, and never in front of the kids). I know for a fact that she has gone so far as to take diet pills in an effort to lose weight. I feel a lot of pain in this family, even without anyone saying anything. The oldest was so upset this week that this child started to cry in front of me, which has never happened before. This child also told me that when the father yells at them in the evening, the child can hardly sleep at night. The entire situation is very upsetting to me, to the point where I am now on-line in the middle of the night asking for advice. The older child does not want me talking about our conversation with either of the parents. I agreed to that for the moment since I'm afraid that if I do say something, it will only make the situation worse for the kids. I want to help them, but I don't know exactly how to bring about change to this situation without reprisals directed at the children. If anyone has suggestions, please let me know ASAP. I also intend to speak anonymously with a social worker about this for professional advice. Thank you
Saturday
Livingston Mall in Livingston, NJ
Received Saturday, May 17, 2008
Where: Livingston Mall in Livingston, NJ Children's soft play area.
When: Aprox. 11am Friday, 5/16
Your nanny: AA with Island Accent. Grey mesh sneakers, navy or black pants, plum knit shirt. Long curly hair, silver hoop earrings.
Your son: Aprox 2 years old or perhaps a little younger. Nanny called him Sky. Blonde hair, PUMA blue zip up hoodie with orange accents, green khaki pants.
What: Just wanted to let you know your nanny is awesome! She had a book in her lap but never opened it the entire time I was there (About an hour) She engaged Sky, played with him, facilitated his play with other children (without hovering) Hugged him, kissed him and then asked what he wanted for lunch. Everything about this woman indicated she loves her job and your son. You are very lucky!
Where: Livingston Mall in Livingston, NJ Children's soft play area.
When: Aprox. 11am Friday, 5/16
Your nanny: AA with Island Accent. Grey mesh sneakers, navy or black pants, plum knit shirt. Long curly hair, silver hoop earrings.
Your son: Aprox 2 years old or perhaps a little younger. Nanny called him Sky. Blonde hair, PUMA blue zip up hoodie with orange accents, green khaki pants.
What: Just wanted to let you know your nanny is awesome! She had a book in her lap but never opened it the entire time I was there (About an hour) She engaged Sky, played with him, facilitated his play with other children (without hovering) Hugged him, kissed him and then asked what he wanted for lunch. Everything about this woman indicated she loves her job and your son. You are very lucky!
Friday
Accosted and Accused....
Received Friday, May 16, 2008- Rant
I just have to say that as a nanny and a parent, who has her own son with her all day and 2 other children as well, I totally respect people older than myself and their opinions about child rearing. But today a lady crossed that line.
We were having lunch at Red Lobster, 2 adults and 6 kids. The kids were all being great, except then one of my 2 year olds decided he was going to stand up in his chair. I asked him nicely to have a seat, and he swung his arm in my general direction. Now he has been having an issue lately were if he does not like something he hits the closest thing to him, whether it be a person, the TV, or himself. His mom and I decided together that this was not going to be tolerated at all, as we do not allow hitting in any form. So I gave him a stern warning that he was not to swing his arm at anyone and that he needed to remain seated in his chair. Following that he proceeded to hit the little boy next to him as he was angry with what I had just told him. Well that meant timeout for him. So I calmly proceeded over to his chair, removed him from it and took him by the hand and led him from the restaurant, in a timely fashion. When we got outside I placed him next to the bench in the corner for timeout and I sat next to him, paying no attention to him, while I set my watch timer for two minutes.
Well next thing you know I am being accosted by an older lady, screaming at me that I was going to cause him permanent physical injury by leading him from the restaurant by his arm. I politely said "thank you for your concern, but that he was fine." Well she could not let it go at that, she accused me of ABUSING him but forcing him to hold my hand and walk out of the restaurant and stand in time out. Let me say right now, at no pint did I yank him by his arm, ever lift him off the ground by his arm, or do anything but lead him in a quickly fashion from the restaurant. I became quite enraged at her allegation of abuse. I still tried to be polite and told her that he was going to remain in time out for two minutes, no matter her feelings on the matter, and truly it was none of her business. I had not treated him in any way that was inappropriate, and I was not standing outside beating him, and that I had nothing further to say to her. Well that just ticked her off and she went back in and complained to the manager of Red Lobster who informed her he could do nothing about it, and she stormed out with her husband.
My little man finished his two minutes, we walked back inside and had a peaceful finish to lunch. But I am just enraged that someone would have the nerve to say that I was abusing him. Had it been my own son who did it I would have taken the same steps. I could understand someone saying something if I had been beating on him, or degrading him in any way, as I myself will say something to a parent or nanny that treats a child in that way. But to correct an unwanted behavior with timeout and stern polite words, and still be accused of abuse just sent me over the edge. I am not sure I handled it right or what I would do next time, but I thought I would see what the rest of you had to say.
I just have to say that as a nanny and a parent, who has her own son with her all day and 2 other children as well, I totally respect people older than myself and their opinions about child rearing. But today a lady crossed that line.
We were having lunch at Red Lobster, 2 adults and 6 kids. The kids were all being great, except then one of my 2 year olds decided he was going to stand up in his chair. I asked him nicely to have a seat, and he swung his arm in my general direction. Now he has been having an issue lately were if he does not like something he hits the closest thing to him, whether it be a person, the TV, or himself. His mom and I decided together that this was not going to be tolerated at all, as we do not allow hitting in any form. So I gave him a stern warning that he was not to swing his arm at anyone and that he needed to remain seated in his chair. Following that he proceeded to hit the little boy next to him as he was angry with what I had just told him. Well that meant timeout for him. So I calmly proceeded over to his chair, removed him from it and took him by the hand and led him from the restaurant, in a timely fashion. When we got outside I placed him next to the bench in the corner for timeout and I sat next to him, paying no attention to him, while I set my watch timer for two minutes.
Well next thing you know I am being accosted by an older lady, screaming at me that I was going to cause him permanent physical injury by leading him from the restaurant by his arm. I politely said "thank you for your concern, but that he was fine." Well she could not let it go at that, she accused me of ABUSING him but forcing him to hold my hand and walk out of the restaurant and stand in time out. Let me say right now, at no pint did I yank him by his arm, ever lift him off the ground by his arm, or do anything but lead him in a quickly fashion from the restaurant. I became quite enraged at her allegation of abuse. I still tried to be polite and told her that he was going to remain in time out for two minutes, no matter her feelings on the matter, and truly it was none of her business. I had not treated him in any way that was inappropriate, and I was not standing outside beating him, and that I had nothing further to say to her. Well that just ticked her off and she went back in and complained to the manager of Red Lobster who informed her he could do nothing about it, and she stormed out with her husband.
My little man finished his two minutes, we walked back inside and had a peaceful finish to lunch. But I am just enraged that someone would have the nerve to say that I was abusing him. Had it been my own son who did it I would have taken the same steps. I could understand someone saying something if I had been beating on him, or degrading him in any way, as I myself will say something to a parent or nanny that treats a child in that way. But to correct an unwanted behavior with timeout and stern polite words, and still be accused of abuse just sent me over the edge. I am not sure I handled it right or what I would do next time, but I thought I would see what the rest of you had to say.
86th & Madison in NYC
Received Friday. May 16, 2008
White nanny with dark hair, sunken face in orange raincoat carrying a square tote with large multi colored circles dragging your daughter by her yellow hood East 86th Street past the intersection of 86th & Madison, screaming at her ruining the whole afternoon. Child was approximately 5 years old, wearing grey leggings and black mary jane style shoes and a grey and yellow jacket. Child had one braid in her hair hair.
Child was so hysterically upset that she was gasping for breath but nanny continued on speaking to her very harshly about "learning just who was boss".
White nanny with dark hair, sunken face in orange raincoat carrying a square tote with large multi colored circles dragging your daughter by her yellow hood East 86th Street past the intersection of 86th & Madison, screaming at her ruining the whole afternoon. Child was approximately 5 years old, wearing grey leggings and black mary jane style shoes and a grey and yellow jacket. Child had one braid in her hair hair.
Child was so hysterically upset that she was gasping for breath but nanny continued on speaking to her very harshly about "learning just who was boss".
Wednesday
Seal Park in Chelsea, NY
Received Wednesday. May 14, 2008
Where: Seal Park (10th Avenue between 21st and 22nd) in Chelsea
When: May 14th approximately 4PM
Who: A boy about 5 or 6, dressed in a beige shirt with horizontal stripes. With dark straight hair and almond brown eyes he appeared to be possibly asian or hispanic.
A woman in her 40s, dressed in jeans and wearing heels, curly shoulder length hair. She may be Hispanic, Phillapina or possibly from the Carribean.
What: I have seen this little boy at this park in the past, he is very sweet and is very receptive to playing with me in the small sand patch as I play with my 16 month old. He doesn't always make eye contact but seems very verbal when I ask questions. This time he joined a crowd of us who were with children in the raised concrete flower bed with bushes and shrubs using our pails, shovels etc. He was having difficulty with other children and resorted to pushing two if them (both much smaller). Two other adults (one a mom and one a nanny) told me that this has been happening frequently and pointed out the caretaker (we weren't sure if she was a nanny, babysitter or mom). She was on a bench very far from where the boy was playing, talking to a man (who didn't seem to be with her).
I left my son in the care of the other two adults and went over to ask her to help us. I was polite but firm, she tried to avoid my eye and seemed unwilling to come until I prodded her further. She was clearly not happy (by her face and walk).
When she joined us (she walked very slowly, I got there in twice the time) I explained that he had pushed the two children and suggested he might need to say he was sorry to them. The other two adults also chimed in explaining the details of the situation. She ignored us all and told him to move to another area. A little while later I saw him on the slide, again she was not paying attention to him and I wondered if she interacted with him at all!
If this were a person I had hired, I would want to know that my child was not getting proper supervision either physically or in terms of an adult explanation of how to interact with others. If this was the mom, well its just very sad…
Blog Master....I am attaching a picture of the little boy. i am not sure it is OK to publish a picture of a child without permission, but please use it if it is ok and would help get this kiddo some better supervision... (I am holding on to the photo. It will be very helpful to confirm the identity of the child should a parent think this is their child. Email me-JD)
Where: Seal Park (10th Avenue between 21st and 22nd) in ChelseaWhen: May 14th approximately 4PM
Who: A boy about 5 or 6, dressed in a beige shirt with horizontal stripes. With dark straight hair and almond brown eyes he appeared to be possibly asian or hispanic.
A woman in her 40s, dressed in jeans and wearing heels, curly shoulder length hair. She may be Hispanic, Phillapina or possibly from the Carribean.
What: I have seen this little boy at this park in the past, he is very sweet and is very receptive to playing with me in the small sand patch as I play with my 16 month old. He doesn't always make eye contact but seems very verbal when I ask questions. This time he joined a crowd of us who were with children in the raised concrete flower bed with bushes and shrubs using our pails, shovels etc. He was having difficulty with other children and resorted to pushing two if them (both much smaller). Two other adults (one a mom and one a nanny) told me that this has been happening frequently and pointed out the caretaker (we weren't sure if she was a nanny, babysitter or mom). She was on a bench very far from where the boy was playing, talking to a man (who didn't seem to be with her).
I left my son in the care of the other two adults and went over to ask her to help us. I was polite but firm, she tried to avoid my eye and seemed unwilling to come until I prodded her further. She was clearly not happy (by her face and walk).
When she joined us (she walked very slowly, I got there in twice the time) I explained that he had pushed the two children and suggested he might need to say he was sorry to them. The other two adults also chimed in explaining the details of the situation. She ignored us all and told him to move to another area. A little while later I saw him on the slide, again she was not paying attention to him and I wondered if she interacted with him at all!
If this were a person I had hired, I would want to know that my child was not getting proper supervision either physically or in terms of an adult explanation of how to interact with others. If this was the mom, well its just very sad…
Blog Master....I am attaching a picture of the little boy. i am not sure it is OK to publish a picture of a child without permission, but please use it if it is ok and would help get this kiddo some better supervision... (I am holding on to the photo. It will be very helpful to confirm the identity of the child should a parent think this is their child. Email me-JD)
Is your nanny looking for a new job?
Received Wednesday, May 14, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Would you want to know if your nanny was walking up and down the UWS asking people if they needed a nanny? I have seriously run into this woman like 4 times. I think she works in the 90's. She pushes a little girl in a stroller with her. It'd definitely a Maclaren but I can't say for certain if it is black or blue. The nanny is from Trinidad or somewhere near there, by her accent. The little girl she takes care of is about 2.5 and has blonde hair. The nanny is pretty average looking and average sized. She wears glasses. She doesn't come off as mean but very intent on getting hired, bordering on desperation.
Would you want to know if your nanny was walking up and down the UWS asking people if they needed a nanny? I have seriously run into this woman like 4 times. I think she works in the 90's. She pushes a little girl in a stroller with her. It'd definitely a Maclaren but I can't say for certain if it is black or blue. The nanny is from Trinidad or somewhere near there, by her accent. The little girl she takes care of is about 2.5 and has blonde hair. The nanny is pretty average looking and average sized. She wears glasses. She doesn't come off as mean but very intent on getting hired, bordering on desperation.
Carl Schurz Park in NYC
Received Wednesday, May 14, 2008
I saw your nanny at Carl Schurz Park at approximately 3:45 today, (5/14) with your two children. Your children are a boy and a girl, the girls is 4-5 and has a brown bob and blue eyes. She was wearing a blue sweater with a white collar poking out and jeans. The boy was about 7-8 and had lighter hair, some freckles and brown eyes. He had on a long sleeved t-shirt with the graphic of a tree and nuts on it. The nanny was wearing athletic pants that were brown and black Merill's with white socks. All of these people were white. The nanny had blond looking hair that was in a short pony tail. The nanny was approximately 140 lbs, about 5'5-5'6. In other words, the nanny is not fat at all! The nanny and the children sat on the bench outside of the park and had three cans of pepsi and a box of Suzy Q's. This is a box that probably has 8-12 cakes in it. And there are two cakes in each serving. The children are bordering on being classifed heavy. This might be the post you need to pay closer attention to your children's diet. Your nanny has an athletic build but your children do not! It's just not okay to allow children with weight problems to eat like this!
I saw your nanny at Carl Schurz Park at approximately 3:45 today, (5/14) with your two children. Your children are a boy and a girl, the girls is 4-5 and has a brown bob and blue eyes. She was wearing a blue sweater with a white collar poking out and jeans. The boy was about 7-8 and had lighter hair, some freckles and brown eyes. He had on a long sleeved t-shirt with the graphic of a tree and nuts on it. The nanny was wearing athletic pants that were brown and black Merill's with white socks. All of these people were white. The nanny had blond looking hair that was in a short pony tail. The nanny was approximately 140 lbs, about 5'5-5'6. In other words, the nanny is not fat at all! The nanny and the children sat on the bench outside of the park and had three cans of pepsi and a box of Suzy Q's. This is a box that probably has 8-12 cakes in it. And there are two cakes in each serving. The children are bordering on being classifed heavy. This might be the post you need to pay closer attention to your children's diet. Your nanny has an athletic build but your children do not! It's just not okay to allow children with weight problems to eat like this!
How do I get past this?
Received Wednesday, May 14, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
This happened to me last Friday and I am not sure how to handle what has happened since. This is not the sort of thing I care to discuss with my friends because it is somewhat, if not completely embarrassing. On Friday, both parents were due to come home early as they were planning to take the kids to their grandparents for the weekend. It was 4PM and we were all putting together the last minute thinks like DVDs and drinks, etc. The kids who could use the restroom were told to use the bathroom one more time. Just before the parents came home, I had them use the restroom so I could avoid this. There is a restroom located between the kitchen and laundry room that we use throughout the day. The father sent the oldest son into that bathroom which is what I did not want. I had just used that bathroom about an hour ago and had a problem getting the water to go down. The son ran out of the bathroom screaming "gross, gross".
I stepped up and said, "I was just waiting for you to leave so I could take care of this, I just need to plunge it but getting the children from school and readying them left me short of time". The father made some comment about not wanting to leave things unfinished so he went in there. He didn't say anything or make any sounds of disgust for which I was grateful. Then he calls out to the mother, "could you bring me a knife". I was dying, but frozen. The mom brought him a bread knife and then realized what he wanted it for and asked for a plastic knife from older son. To make a long story short, my employers didn't leave until he was able to flush the toilet which he was able to do after he sawed my b.m. in half or parts. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life. The knife was put in a plastic bag and carried to the garbage can. The wife scurried for bleach and Lysol. It all happened within five minutes. I apologized profusely. The father told me it could have happened to anyone and not to worry about it. And then they left which let me get it together. I am a live-in and I re cleaned the whole bathroom.
I was happy to see the children Monday morning. The father came out, said a quick hello and good bye and left. The mother came out, went through a few schedule changes, her meal plans for tonight and in the same sentence said 'and if you wouldn't mind using your personal bathroom throughout the day'. I felt like dirt when she said that, like I was beneath them. And then I realized that I had used their bathroom off the kitchen and maybe that was something that just wasn't done. With as many bathrooms as they have, it probably doesn't make sense to use the bathroom off the kitchen. I just put the youngest down for a nap. I am obsessing about how to behave the next time in front of my boss. I feel like I should apologize. And I feel this is something they will ever forget and I don't think I can keep having this between us. If I didn't say I am a live-in nanny.
This happened to me last Friday and I am not sure how to handle what has happened since. This is not the sort of thing I care to discuss with my friends because it is somewhat, if not completely embarrassing. On Friday, both parents were due to come home early as they were planning to take the kids to their grandparents for the weekend. It was 4PM and we were all putting together the last minute thinks like DVDs and drinks, etc. The kids who could use the restroom were told to use the bathroom one more time. Just before the parents came home, I had them use the restroom so I could avoid this. There is a restroom located between the kitchen and laundry room that we use throughout the day. The father sent the oldest son into that bathroom which is what I did not want. I had just used that bathroom about an hour ago and had a problem getting the water to go down. The son ran out of the bathroom screaming "gross, gross".
I stepped up and said, "I was just waiting for you to leave so I could take care of this, I just need to plunge it but getting the children from school and readying them left me short of time". The father made some comment about not wanting to leave things unfinished so he went in there. He didn't say anything or make any sounds of disgust for which I was grateful. Then he calls out to the mother, "could you bring me a knife". I was dying, but frozen. The mom brought him a bread knife and then realized what he wanted it for and asked for a plastic knife from older son. To make a long story short, my employers didn't leave until he was able to flush the toilet which he was able to do after he sawed my b.m. in half or parts. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life. The knife was put in a plastic bag and carried to the garbage can. The wife scurried for bleach and Lysol. It all happened within five minutes. I apologized profusely. The father told me it could have happened to anyone and not to worry about it. And then they left which let me get it together. I am a live-in and I re cleaned the whole bathroom.
I was happy to see the children Monday morning. The father came out, said a quick hello and good bye and left. The mother came out, went through a few schedule changes, her meal plans for tonight and in the same sentence said 'and if you wouldn't mind using your personal bathroom throughout the day'. I felt like dirt when she said that, like I was beneath them. And then I realized that I had used their bathroom off the kitchen and maybe that was something that just wasn't done. With as many bathrooms as they have, it probably doesn't make sense to use the bathroom off the kitchen. I just put the youngest down for a nap. I am obsessing about how to behave the next time in front of my boss. I feel like I should apologize. And I feel this is something they will ever forget and I don't think I can keep having this between us. If I didn't say I am a live-in nanny.
Tuesday
Not even a card....
Received Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I have been a nanny with the same family for the past 8 months, since the little boy was 2 months old. I live in with them and work very long, hard hours. The problem is I just had a birthday this past weekend that they knew about, and they didn't even give me so much as a card. All that they said was " happy birthday" and I left to go away for the weekend. My feelings are so hurt I cant even begin to explain. I am so good to them and go above and beyond my job responsibilities. Would it have killed them to even get me a card? I was wondering what everyone's views are on this? Do you guys think I have a right to be upset or are they not expected to give me a little something??FYI-they are millionaires who live in the upper east side so money isn't an issue
I have been a nanny with the same family for the past 8 months, since the little boy was 2 months old. I live in with them and work very long, hard hours. The problem is I just had a birthday this past weekend that they knew about, and they didn't even give me so much as a card. All that they said was " happy birthday" and I left to go away for the weekend. My feelings are so hurt I cant even begin to explain. I am so good to them and go above and beyond my job responsibilities. Would it have killed them to even get me a card? I was wondering what everyone's views are on this? Do you guys think I have a right to be upset or are they not expected to give me a little something??FYI-they are millionaires who live in the upper east side so money isn't an issue
Monday
Library at 6th Avenue & 9th in Park Slope, NY
Received Monday, May 12, 2008
Nanny: Tall, thin, wearing denim crop jeans with converse sneakers. The crops had fringe hanging on them. She had dark hair, rosy cheeks, no make up, attractive. Slim build with no curves.
Child: Tyler. A boy 20-28 months. Blonde, with blue eyes, wearing a green jacket over a black turtleneck. Runny nose.
Where: Public Library at 6th Avenue & 9th in Park Slope, NY
What: Nanny brought with her a portable DVD player. She was watching movies, using ear buds. The child was running amok and socializing with all sorts of other children and adults. The nanny could not have known. I watched the child socialize with a man of about 63 for about 15 minutes. (They were in my line of sight). I am the one who brought your son to your nanny. I didn't understand when he told me she was watching a movie, but he found the nanny and I tapped her on the shoulder. Three very hard taps. I asked her what she thought she was doing. She grew angry and told me she knows where the child is and he knows where she is at all times. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea. She told me that 'Tyler's parents and I support his Independence. We don't believe in smothering children'. Seeing as I would get nowhere with her, I walked away. I did notice her and him about ten minutes later and they were looking at the children's books together. He isn't my child, but I think he is too young to entertain himself at a public library. If nanny were reading, she would at least have an ear out for him, even if she couldn't see him!
Nanny: Tall, thin, wearing denim crop jeans with converse sneakers. The crops had fringe hanging on them. She had dark hair, rosy cheeks, no make up, attractive. Slim build with no curves.
Child: Tyler. A boy 20-28 months. Blonde, with blue eyes, wearing a green jacket over a black turtleneck. Runny nose.
Where: Public Library at 6th Avenue & 9th in Park Slope, NY
What: Nanny brought with her a portable DVD player. She was watching movies, using ear buds. The child was running amok and socializing with all sorts of other children and adults. The nanny could not have known. I watched the child socialize with a man of about 63 for about 15 minutes. (They were in my line of sight). I am the one who brought your son to your nanny. I didn't understand when he told me she was watching a movie, but he found the nanny and I tapped her on the shoulder. Three very hard taps. I asked her what she thought she was doing. She grew angry and told me she knows where the child is and he knows where she is at all times. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea. She told me that 'Tyler's parents and I support his Independence. We don't believe in smothering children'. Seeing as I would get nowhere with her, I walked away. I did notice her and him about ten minutes later and they were looking at the children's books together. He isn't my child, but I think he is too young to entertain himself at a public library. If nanny were reading, she would at least have an ear out for him, even if she couldn't see him!
Mother's Day for Nanny?
Received Monday, May 12, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
My nanny asked me this morning if we thought she did a good job with our two children. I replied, "yes, of course". She then asked what I thought she should improve on. I said to her, "M, you are doing a wonderful job, why do you ask?". She said, "Historically, my bosses have always recognized me on Mother's Day and Mother's Day has come and went without you acknowledging me at all".
I was dumbfounded. She does a wonderful job and I do look for ways to show appreciation every few months or so, but Mother's Day? I cannot be the only nanny employer who doesn't fete my nanny for Mother's Day?
My nanny asked me this morning if we thought she did a good job with our two children. I replied, "yes, of course". She then asked what I thought she should improve on. I said to her, "M, you are doing a wonderful job, why do you ask?". She said, "Historically, my bosses have always recognized me on Mother's Day and Mother's Day has come and went without you acknowledging me at all".
I was dumbfounded. She does a wonderful job and I do look for ways to show appreciation every few months or so, but Mother's Day? I cannot be the only nanny employer who doesn't fete my nanny for Mother's Day?
Westchester Mall in White Plains
Received Monday, May 12, 2008
What I saw today made me so angry. I was on my lunch hour at the Westchester Mall. I saw a nanny which is unusual because most often I just see prissy moms. This was defnitely a nanny. She had her hair braded and pulled back under a brown bandana or rag. Whatever you call those things. She was wearing blue jeans, a brown short sleeve shirt and she was a little chunky. She had a pretty little girl with her who was probably 3 yrs. old or so. She was crowded in to an umbrella stroller that she was kind of already too big for. And on top of her lap she had the nanny's black purse. And all on her stroller, there were bags hanging. The nanny stopped to look at some jewels on display in the middle of the aisles and the little girl was reaching for a sip cup and she knocked the nanny's bad off her lap. The little girl tries to reach forward for it and the whole stroller tips to the side. The nanny takes two steps towards her and said "why did you do that, why are you messing around, you're very bad. you're going home to sleep for a very long time". The little girl didn't say anything. Not one single word. The nanny was all rough uprighting the stroller. The little girl was probably scared. She could have even been hurt. The nanny didn't care about none of that. She was rough and she pushed the child away all abrupt all mad she was done shopping. The girl had on a pink and dark blue ralph lauren jacket and plaid patterned shoes.
What I saw today made me so angry. I was on my lunch hour at the Westchester Mall. I saw a nanny which is unusual because most often I just see prissy moms. This was defnitely a nanny. She had her hair braded and pulled back under a brown bandana or rag. Whatever you call those things. She was wearing blue jeans, a brown short sleeve shirt and she was a little chunky. She had a pretty little girl with her who was probably 3 yrs. old or so. She was crowded in to an umbrella stroller that she was kind of already too big for. And on top of her lap she had the nanny's black purse. And all on her stroller, there were bags hanging. The nanny stopped to look at some jewels on display in the middle of the aisles and the little girl was reaching for a sip cup and she knocked the nanny's bad off her lap. The little girl tries to reach forward for it and the whole stroller tips to the side. The nanny takes two steps towards her and said "why did you do that, why are you messing around, you're very bad. you're going home to sleep for a very long time". The little girl didn't say anything. Not one single word. The nanny was all rough uprighting the stroller. The little girl was probably scared. She could have even been hurt. The nanny didn't care about none of that. She was rough and she pushed the child away all abrupt all mad she was done shopping. The girl had on a pink and dark blue ralph lauren jacket and plaid patterned shoes.
Sunday
Mother's Day 2008
Happy Mother's Day to all of the amazing mothers and grandmothers out there.
Today marks the 100th anniversary of Mother's Day. Anna Jarvis, who never married and never had children, got the idea for the holiday after her mother said it would be nice if someone created a memorial to mothers. So she did.
Do you have a Mother's Day story to share?
Check out:
10 Ways Not to Say Happy Mother's Day
Daughter's Illness Leads Mom to Take in 120 Needy Kids
Toledo Restaurant Increases Security for Mother's Day
Smells That Remind Me of Mom
Today marks the 100th anniversary of Mother's Day. Anna Jarvis, who never married and never had children, got the idea for the holiday after her mother said it would be nice if someone created a memorial to mothers. So she did.
Do you have a Mother's Day story to share?
Check out:
10 Ways Not to Say Happy Mother's Day
Daughter's Illness Leads Mom to Take in 120 Needy Kids
Toledo Restaurant Increases Security for Mother's Day
Smells That Remind Me of Mom
Friday
Bleeker Park in Greenwich Village, NYC
Received Friday, May 9, 2008
On Monday at 9:30am I was in the park with my daughter. A nanny was sitting on the bench next to me leaning forward with her head resting in her hands. She was AA short hair, black Adidas baseball cap, royal blue jacket and jeans. I realized she was sleeping. I was trying to figure out who she was watching but couldn't until your son started to climb the arched ladder in the sand pit. He was clearly not able to do it on his own (looked about 20mo). I was about to jump up to spot him when she opened her eyes and rushed over there to scold him. She took him down, came back to bench and closed her eyes again. I was at the park to 45 minutes and never saw her interact or play with your child and he was just wandering around the sand pit the whole time. If this were my nanny I would want to know that she is clearly disinterested in your child and her job.
On Monday at 9:30am I was in the park with my daughter. A nanny was sitting on the bench next to me leaning forward with her head resting in her hands. She was AA short hair, black Adidas baseball cap, royal blue jacket and jeans. I realized she was sleeping. I was trying to figure out who she was watching but couldn't until your son started to climb the arched ladder in the sand pit. He was clearly not able to do it on his own (looked about 20mo). I was about to jump up to spot him when she opened her eyes and rushed over there to scold him. She took him down, came back to bench and closed her eyes again. I was at the park to 45 minutes and never saw her interact or play with your child and he was just wandering around the sand pit the whole time. If this were my nanny I would want to know that she is clearly disinterested in your child and her job.
Thursday
Still More Coyotes & Sitters
Coyote Found Inside HomeA baby sitter confronted a coyote Wednesday that wandered into a Temecula home, according to the Department of Fish and Game. Officials said on Wednesday, they received a report that a coyote followed a dog into a Temecula home through the doggie door. The coyote was a baby coyote and the mother coyote was waiting outside in the bushes. The baby sitter screamed and tossed pillows at the animal and it left through the doggie door, officials said.
San Diego Ranger Ken Colburn says people should yell and throw rocks at coyotes that come through neighborhoods or close to parks.
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