"My boss accused me of drawing her into the center of some race war"

       I have to give you some background to understand this.
       I am a nanny in the Park Slop area of Brooklyn, NYC.  I live in Park Slope as a live out. I used to work on the UES as a live out nanny. We have a large nanny population in the area. Some of the nannies are like myself, educated, proper, articulate and others are stonefaced, unintelligent and wearing tawdry clothing.

     About a week ago, a nanny friend and I got the idea to have a kick off summer picnic in one of the parks. We handed out invitations to nannies we knew and met at the park. This wasn't an all inclusive event. This is for professional nannies. I asked each person to bring a dish and to rsvp. We are not talking about a huge group here. We made ten invitations and I still have two.
     On Thursday when I left the preschool with one of my charges, another nanny was walking behind me for a long time, so I was aware. I stopped at our house and turned around and there was an African American Nanny standing there. She said, "I knew that's where you lived. I fucking knew it". I was kind of caught off guard and didn't know what to say because I didn't want some weird altercation in front of my charge and hers. But she turned around and strolled back the other way. I thought it was weird, but didn't know what she was mad about. I really thought she was going to post an I Saw Your Nanny type post somewhere about something I did.
     So yesterday was a regular day and everything is fine. My boss texts me starting at 2:15. Call me, call me now and where are you. All within five minutes. I thought there was an emergency. So I call her and she demands to know about a picnic that I am hosting for white nannies only. I told her I am hosting no such thing. She tells me that her former nanny called her and said that I was encouraging white nannies to only associate with white nannies and not wanting them to even make playdates with non white nannies. I am totally like what???
     Okay, so my boss went ass nuts on me because when she fired this nanny, the nanny tried to claim she was fired because my boss was a racist. So get this, she really fired her because she wasn't doing any learning activities with the 2 year old, was late, and lazy. This is not the kind of nanny that I look for in my group. It has nothing to do with race! My boss asked me who was invited to the event. We have two Mexican Americans, an au pair from Portugal, an au pair from Vienna and 4 white nannies. Just because these are the ones that are personable, seem to like their jobs, smile, laugh, etc.
     My boss accused me of drawing her into the center of some race war and she "won't have it". The date of the picnic is the 19th. She has told me that I need to invite at least two but preferably 4 Black or African American,Caribbean, etc. nannies. Do you see the weird place this puts me in? I told her, "Never mind, I'll just cancel it" and she FORBADE me from canceling it. The reason I wanted to cancel it is because it feels really racist and kind of skeevy to just have to invite four random nannies to pacify one former disgruntled employee. Am I wrong? I do a good job. They don't have to worry about educational activities. I go the extra mile and this nanny that they didn't like is now causing a problem for me with something as innocent as a picnic in the park.

     Email your rants to isynblog@gmail.com.

Sociology 101

 

       I have school aged children who ask  a lot of questions. We live outside the Baltimore area and my children have had a lot of questions about the protests, riots and unrest in the city. Because of their age, I answered their question as honestly as possible but with the goal of making them feel safe. At 6 & 8, they don't have the ability to comprehend the expanse of social conditions and issues that are at play here.
     The nanny however has given the children more in depth answers, such as "they are not doing wrong, they are doing the only thing they can to express themselves and they can't stop until the police stop killing black men." I am not getting in to the opinions of the rioting, because as stated, my children are 6 & 8. Believe me when I say I am raising my children to be respectful of all cultures and people, but I don't want her to continue on with this banter. It has been going on for over a week.
     My 8 year old told me, "Bunny told me that cops don't kill bad guys, they like to hurt black people because nobody cares," and "Bunny said it doesn't matter if I am polite to an police officer or not or rob a bank, he doesn't want to kill me because I am white."
     After I attempted to address this with the nanny this morning, she became verbally aggressive and told me, "you can't have the news on and not give your children the facts." I suggested in a calm voice, "We don't have the facts yet." She responded, also in a raised voice, "What more facts do you need, another black man is dead". After that, I tried to change the conversation completely to the day's schedule. When I was going over things with her, she would only say, "uh hum" in an obviously perturbed way. She wouldn't even look at me.  What did I do wrong here? Don't most families have the news on television? Don't most parents break the news down for their children in the most age appropriate ways? I am really upset that she yelled in front of my children and that she cannot put her feelings for the situation aside for the time she is at work, in rural suburbia enough for my children to feel safe, but I feel like she wants to hold all of us responsible.
     I am a single mother and our nanny has been with us for 14 months.

Email isynblog@gmail.com