LEBANON, Tenn. - The St. Petersburg Times originally shared Dani's story in August 2008, in an article called "The Girl in the Window."
Detectives had discovered her in a Plant City home in July 2005, when she was almost 7. She was curled in a tiny, roach-infested room, covered with her own feces, unable to speak or make eye contact, afraid to be held. A child protection officer had raced her to Tampa General Hospital. Dani weighed 46 pounds.
Investigators determined she had been left alone, in that dark, filthy space, for most of her life. They called Dani a "feral child," like Tarzan or the wolf boy.
Police charged Dani's mother with child neglect. A judge terminated her parental rights, sentenced her to community service and two years of house arrest.
In 2007, Bernie and Diane Lierow, then of Fort Myers, saw Dani's photo in a gallery of Tampa Bay area children available for adoption. The Times story told of how the couple were drawn to her dark, vacant eyes.
Three Years Later: The Girl in the Window
Photo Gallery: Then and Now
Photo Gallery: Dani
Original Story and Comments on ISYN
__________________________________________________
A very special thank you to MissDee for contributing this Article.
Sunday
Trusted Nanny Now Neglects Her Charges
I just realized in this past week that we have to fire our nanny who has been with our 3 year old son since he was 6 months old. We have a new baby now and I am worried about the safety of my kids. We always knew that the nanny had her phone with her a lot, but we did not know how much she was on it until recently when we checked our home network logs for her use. It is almost every moment that one of the parents is not present (and sometimes even when we are present). Much of it is texting and internet use. Now that we have two kids, this is not only neglectful and not doing her job, it's dangerous for the baby when the baby is unsupervised and when the kids are together unsupervised.
My son acts up when he is completely ignored and the nanny does not even attempt decent discipline (in spite of talks with her and her supposedly reading my favorite discipline guide). One day recently when working from home, I listened in and heard my son acting up because the nanny was texting. She threatened time outs for a few minutes, then put him in time out for about 7 minutes, then took him to another room for another time out after that (he had not continued to misbehave).
I also recently viewed two days (15-20 hours) of the nanny with the kids (without her knowledge). In the video, I saw her pick my three year old up and throw him hard on the couch - his transgression was not clear from the video, though he had interrupted her texting. On the same day, the baby was crying and the nanny wasn't doing much to comfort her - just bouncing the baby on her lap and then laying the baby down flat on her lap, which only made the baby cry harder. The next day, the baby was crying (probably from being ignored - the baby is a very happy baby and just loves being talked to and played with, but gets fussy when bored) and the nanny just kept moving the baby from place to place without talking or interacting. Eventually, she picked the baby up and held the baby on her lap, then dangled the baby with the baby's feet on the floor (the baby can sort of stand with body support, but the nanny was holding the baby's hands and the baby was pivoting around at the shoulders, which looked like it could hurt). Then, the nanny put the baby down on the floor where the baby continued to scream. Then came the next serious offense: she went to get the baby carrier and tried to put the baby in it and after not being able to figure out the carrier, literally tossed the baby onto the couch - hard. The couch is soft and the baby did not fall off of the couch, but I think that is the worst thing I have ever seen as a parent (watching my son trip and hit his head comes close, but at least that was an accident).
Clearly, the nanny has to go and soon. My heart is just broken, especially since she has been with us for so long. It makes me sick that in the course of two days (the only time I have ever watched her without her knowing), she literally threw both of my children. She used to seem to really care for our son, but now I don't know if even that was all just an act. I hope she just got burned out on the job (which I know is hard) more recently and wasn't always like this. I hope my son copes ok - I think he will since he has told me (unprompted) that it makes him sad when the nanny doesn't play with him. I know he will be better off without her. I never thought this would happen to us, especially with how great she seemed before.
I would love advice on how to fire her, what to be careful about and any other thoughts - both from nannies and from parents. We do not have a formal contract with her. I'm a little nervous about retaliation, even though I would not have thought she was capable of that before I saw her tossing my kids around. I have plenty of proof of her actions - a few weeks of internet use logs on our home network and recorded video (no audio) with the child throwing incident on it. I guess you just never know people...
Dedicated Thread to Thrashing
I am wondering if there is a way to tell the people who have made themselves the grammar and spelling police to stick to the topic. I am so sick of the same people being nasty to the posters and not having any advice other than to learn how to write.
Thursday
Holiday Bonus Feature 2011 Part I
To read Part II of 2011's Holiday Bonus Feature, click here.
PART I
Bonus this year (2011): $1500Weekly salary: $804 gross
Supplementary gifts: Received a new BlackBerry Bold from my two oldest charges, a pair of SpongeBob house shoes from the baby, a $50 Amazon gift card from the children’s uncle, and $100 cash from the grandparents.
Length of time I have worked for family: 5 months as a full time live-in.
Location: Dallas, Texas
Comments: I also received $450 in miscellaneous gift cards from two previous employers and five neighborhood families whose children I babysit occasionally throughout the year. Additionally, I received a free breakfast at a nice restaurant and $200 cash from a third previous employer.
------
Bonus this year (2011): 2 extra weeks of paid vacation.
Weekly salary: $700/wk - 40 hours, plus overtime. 1 preschooler, 1 school aged child.
Supplementary gifts: ipad, gifts when they go on vacation, a christmas tree, house warming gift when I moved into my new apartment, they leave me money to go out to breakfast/lunch/dinner and get treats with my charges, magazine subscription to my favorite magazine, Roku, some extra cash when I go on vacation so I can spoil myself a bit, and help with healthcare coverage.
Length of time I have worked for family: 4 years.
Comments: I am so grateful for the amazing family I work for. The respect, thoughtfulness and kindness they show me is extraordinary and the sweet and thoughtful gifts they have given me are the icing on the cake. I try to show my gratitude by taking awesome care of their children. I feel so lucky to always love going to work!
------
Bonus this year (2011): $500.00
Weekly salary: $330.00 after taxes.
Supplementary gifts: Likely, but not until closer to Christmas, bonus was given Dec. 1st.
Length of time I have worked for family: 1+ year.
Location: Columbus, Ohio
------
Bonus this year (2011): $0
Weekly salary: $150.00
Supplementary gifts: Probably not.
Length of time I have worked for family: Since July 2011.
Location: San Diego, California
Comments: I work for my sister, I watch my nephew full time. 40-50 hours a week. She cant afford much. I really do it as a favor to her and I get to spend time with the best baby ever! I also watch a former charge when he is off school. Not sure if I will get anything this year from them.
------
Bonus last year (2010): $1000.00 & 15 paid days off during the holiday season... I am expecting around the same this year, days off have already been alotted.
Weekly salary: $700.00 approx/week for one child.
Supplementary gifts: paid days off.
Length of time I have worked for family: 2 years (+)
Location: ONT, Canada
------
Bonus this year (2011): It's usually 1 weeks pay, around $1,600 - $1,800.
Weekly salary: $1,600 - $1,800.
Supplementary gifts: This year I will be getting a gas card since MB doesn't want us using the T too often, the kids both make me something, plus buy me a box of Lorna Doones!
Length of time I have worked for family: 7 years.
Location: I live in Natick MA, US. I work in Needham MA
------
Bonus this year (2011): $575
Weekly salary: $575 for 42-55 hrs week (so I got a bonus check basically)
Supplementary gifts: No other gifts/bonus.
Length of time I have worked for family: I've worked for them 5 months caring for a 2 yo and a 7 yo.
Comments: Been in the childcare biz for 3 yrs (including 1 yr as a PreK teacher).
------
Bonus this year (2011): $1,000
Weekly salary: I work 9-5 M-Thu for 2 girls (3 & 1). My take home pay is
$500 not including the taxes & gas stipend of $40 dollars a week.
Supplementary gifts: A gold Coach purse, a $100 Starbucks card, a 20 lb Jennie-O Premium turkey for my family Christmas dinner & the family ornament. (A very prominent family in my city and they make ornaments to give out to all their workers).
Length of time I have worked for family: 3 years & 3 months.
Location: San Antonio, Tx USA
Comments: This is my 4th Christmas with the family and every year I never expect anything cause I'm very well taken care of during the year. A week before the 1 year olds birthday my MB broke her ankle and my hours and responsibilities changed considerably. Its been about 4 months of early mornings, late evenings & happily driving MB and the 2 girls to activities and work. I am not complaining and was happy to help as needed and will really miss my new routine in the new year when my old routine comes back. I'm very privileged and loved by this family and I love them too.
------
Bonus this year (2011): $550
Weekly salary: $13/hr comes to about $525/week.
Supplementary gifts: a tin of homemade fudge!
Length of time I have worked for family: about 2 years.
Location: Texas
Comments: This is my second Christmas with them, and my bonus is $50 more than last year. I don't get a lot of benefits or flashy gifts, but they have been very supportive - and they also gave me $250 for my birthday a few months ago! I spent about $150 on the whole family, and will have the first week of January off.
------
Bonus this year (2011): $500 cash.
Supplementary gifts: coco chanel purse.
Location: Maryland
Comments: nanny for three year old and eighteen month old twins.
------
Bonus this year (2011): $500
Our Nanny's weekly salary: Our nanny's weekly salary is $300 net after room and board.
Supplementary gifts: $130 hair salon gift certificate (enough for a cut and colour), Crabtree & Evelyn travel toiletries set.
Length of time our Nanny has worked for family: four months.
Location: Toronto, Canada
Comments: Our nanny has not been with us long but she quickly became one of the family and was particularly helpful when my husband was ill recently. We are so grateful to have such a wonderful person looking after our children and sharing our home!
------
Bonus this year (2011): $0
Weekly salary: $560 before taxes, $480 after.
Supplementary gifts: 5 bags of Teavana tea, my favorite store and my favorite kind! A really sweet gesture, shows mom was really listening to me :). Also got some homemade Christmas cookies and a family photo card.
Length of time I have worked for family: 2 1/2 weeks.
Location: Boulder, Colorado
Comments: The family I work for is so so sweet and they really go above and beyond for me. I definitely was not expecting a bonus after 2.5 weeks and the tea was such a nice present!
------
Bonus this year (2011): nothing.
Weekly salary: $910.00 full time nanny share.
Supplementary gifts: $100 gift card to amazon from family #1, $100 cash and photo of baby from family #2.
Length of time I have worked for family: Family #1: 2.7 years, Family #2: 1 year.
Location: Boston, MA
Comments: Never expected a bonus from either family especially family #1 since they have never offered me one in the past.
------
Bonus this year (2011): Family A (work around 20hrs/week) - $200 Family B (work 4-8hrs/week) - $100
Weekly salary: Family A - $13/hr. Family B - $13/hr.
Supplementary gifts: Family A - I got a cocktail shaker off my wedding registry. Family B - A box of Sees chocolates.
Length of time I have worked for family: Family A - 2 years. Family B - 1 year.
Location: Orange County, CA
------
Bonus this year (2011): $250
Weekly salary: $250 (part time, live-out)
Supplementary gifts: a $100 gift card to a Salon and Spa and some lotion.
Length of time I have worked for family: 4.5 months.
Location: Seattle, WA
------
Bonus this year (2011): $150
Weekly salary: $10.00 an hour, 35-40 hours a week.
Supplementary gifts: I received a hand-written heart-felt card telling me how wonderful they thought I was and how much I was appreciated. I got a nice card from my charges - ages: 2yrs and 6mths.
Length of time I have worked for family: Exactly 2 months.
Location: Commerce, Michigan
Comments: I have only been with this family for a short time. But they are wonderful, caring people. We get along great and my charges couldn't been any sweeter. I am very lucky to FINALLY find a loving family. I know I will be there for years to come.
------
Bonus this year (2011): $150
Weekly salary: $490 after taxes, 32 hours/wk.
Supplementary gifts: A Kindle Fire, Christmas Ornament from the kids.
Length of time I have worked for family: 6 months.
Location: Birmingham, Michigan, US
Comments: Loved the present! They were very thoughtful and i'm so happy to be working with them!
------
Bonus this year (2011): $100
Weekly salary: $500
Supplementary gifts: candle set, macy's gift card.
Length of time I have worked for family: 10mo.
Location: N.C.
Comments: 2 kids, I work so hard and had kind of expected more of a bonus but they're a nice family.
------
Bonus this year (2011): $1700
Our Nanny's weekly salary: $850
Supplementary gifts: small $10-20 gifts from all 3 kids and about $50 gift from us.
Length of time our Nanny has worked for family: Our nanny has been with us for four years.
Location: Manhattan
Comments: As an aside, we are moving so our nanny is also ending her employment with us during this holiday season. We are giving 4 weeks salary (one week per year of employment) as severance. We also gave our nanny 4-6 weeks notice which is as much as we had. I also posted for her in several places, including the $75 for babybitesnyc and have helped her find a new job.
------
Bonus this year (2011): $2000
Weekly salary: $700 (FT)
Supplementary gifts: 2 tops from my favorite store, giftcard for the movies (not sure of the amount)
Length of time I have worked for family: almost 2 years.
Location: Los Angeles
------
Bonus this year (2011): No cash bonus
Weekly salary: $250 - 15 hour work week.
Length of time I have worked for family: 4 years and 4 months.
Location: Houston, TX USA
Comments: My employers took me out for lunch (never did that before), and gave me a card with basketball tickets! I am a sports fan but have never gone to a professional game so it was a super sweet surprise! I also received 2 weeks off paid holiday as I have the past four years. I work for an absolutely wonderful family. I have never been given bonuses, but they have been generous in so many ways that make me appreciate how fortunate I am. For example, I never ever have to worry that I will not be paid 52 weeks a year, and have received time off paid between 6-12 weeks each year. I also received 3 gift cards and makeup from a couple of other families who I sit for as needed. Overall, I am truly just appreciative and feel very blessed to work with very wonderful people :)
------
Bonus this year (2011): $0
Weekly salary: $375
Supplementary gifts: A $50 gift card to a local movie theater. Oh, and you know those bath sets everyone gets for Christmas and no one actually likes? MB got one from a neighbor, left it on the kitchen counter for a week, and then gave me one of the lotions with my gift card. . . . Yay.
Length of time I have worked for family: Only since mid-July.
Location: Winston Salem, NC
Comments: I don't want to sound bratty. I know I've only been with this particular family since the middle of the summer. I wasn't expecting anywhere near my normal bonus (which has always been a full weeks pay in the past 5.5 years I've been a professional Nanny). I definitely thought I'd get about a hundred bucks though. Especially when MB kept emailing me links to $300 doll houses when she was trying to decide on what to get her 3 year old. I hate that I sound so bratty, but I work long hours, I'm underpaid,** never** paid on time, and even though I'm told weekly how much they appreciate me it's moments like this when I feel completely unappreciated.
------
Bonus this year (2011): $0
Weekly salary: $25-40 a week.
Supplementary gifts: none.
Length of time I have worked for family: 3 months.
Location: Sun Prairie, WI
Comments: Technically I am not a nanny, but a babysitter, although I consider myself a nanny, not a babysitter. I did expect a little something, but I am OK with not getting anything. If I worked FT or more hours as a nanny, and didn't get anything, I may have a different view. I also work in a childcare center and received very nice gifts from some of the children in my after school program: Victoria' Secret gift set, a keepsake ornament, Target gift card, a homemade bird feeder, Bath and Body works lotion, vodka, and Peanuts collectible figurine. (I am obsessed with Snoopy.) Although I didn't get the gifts other nannies received (thinking back to past holiday surveys where nannies got cars, gas cards, a wallet full of gift cards, furniture for a new apartment and generous cash bonuses) I am grateful for A and her family. Mom is great and we get along very well. Other teachers at my childcare center may have received more gifts, but I am OK with that. I feel blessed to have my job because my boss is amazing and has gone out of her way for me numerous times in the three years I have been there. The children in the center, along with those in the after-school program are amazing, as are their families. They mean the world to me and the best gift I could get is what I receive year round: the love of the children and the appreciation expressed throughout the year.
------
Bonus this year (2011): $350, which I truly did not expect and am incredibly grateful for.
Weekly salary: $675 for less than 40 hours a week.
Supplementary gifts: substantial gift cards to Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, and Bloomingdale's. I also got socks and slippers from the cats and a beautiful photo of my little baby girls.
Length of time I have worked for family: a little over a month.
Comments: As an educated, experienced, "top notch" career nanny I was very much used to getting the best of everything including crazy gifts (laptops, vacations) and insane bonuses (up to $5,000) but last year I left my job and it took until last month to filter out the psychos (surviving on temp. and short time nanny gigs) and finally find a family that worked for me. As I just started the job and the economy is in the toilet I expected very little. I used to make $2000 per week but I am SO grateful for the job, the stability, and the money. I needed to suffer in order to be humble, and I did, and I am a different person. Kinder, wiser. Not so entitled. I would have been appalled at the "lack" of money from this bonus a few years ago, but now I think it is SO GENEROUS and I am SO GRATEFUL to have such generous, caring bosses who share so much. I am blessed.
Growing with At-Home Learning
Hi, I'm a NYC nanny seeking recommendations of any preschool at-home learning program I can implement with my charge. She goes to a few hours of school per week, but her parents feel she's capable of much more growth... as do I. I'm not looking for classes or schools, just materials I can order or download and then implement on her/my own schedule. Thanks in advance for any recommendations!
Wednesday
What to Wear for the Nanny Share?
I have just got an offer for a job in NYC. I live in NC and would be a LI nanny while there. Another nanny are going to share the job. The family is very well off and are going to fly us both backhand forth. I am a teacher for the let 15 years and am ready for a huge change. My children and older and do not need me as much. The family I will be working with has 3 little girls. 4, 2 and NB. I will be moving in March. My question is what do I wear around the house? am I expected to join the family all the time. I will be in NYC for 14 days and them come home and the other nanny will come for 14 days. I have never lived in anyones house before. I am a bit nervous. any help will be helpful. Thank you. New, NYC nanny
W.W. II
I am the poster of “Picking Battles is Causing a War for this Nanny” and I have another question. First off, everything has settled down and gone back to normal, and I am hoping that MB was just having a bad day. When I was offered the job I agreed to one night a week babysitting, pay for which would be included in my monthly wage. More recently MB has been asking me to babysit during the day, a few hours here a few hours there, fine. But now she has asked me to babysit this coming Sunday from 12pm-6pm. I feel that this is unfair and is practically a whole days work. Would it be unfair of me to ask for additional pay or a day off during the week? How would I go about asking?
Monday
ISYN Readers Will Set This One Straight...
I had a similar experience like the lady from Cyprus. We live in a suburb of Toronto, Canada and we also had a terrible experience with a Filipino nanny who used us to get to Canada only to leave after a few weeks to be closer to her aunt in Regina. We paid for her airplane ticket, hiring fees, and temporary insurance which came almost to $4000. We called our local Canada Immigration office who advised us to file a complaint which we did. In the meantime, we have no nanny in place and have lost a large amount of money. By speaking to friends and co-workers, this seems to be very common with Filipino nannies. We are now trying to find an alternate choice, we will never hire another Filipino nanny again. Please post my story to prevent this happening to other Canadian families.
Negotiating a Fair Nanny Share
Hi! Hoping your readers will have some good advice for me about a salary structure for a nanny share we are considering.
I have an almost 3 year old and a 15 month old. The other family has an almost 4 year old and a 13 month old. My 3 year old goes to "school" 2 mornings per week for 2 hours. The 4 year old goes to school 3 mornings per week for 3 hours.
We live about 10 minutes from the other family and thought we'd trade off. The other family are friends who currently use a nanny but she will be leaving in early March, so timing is good. We need about 42 hours/week of childcare (M-F). The other family needs slightly more, but might be able to make it work in 42 hrs.
The nanny is our current nanny who my kids love and has been with us for 8 months. We pay her $18/hr but have it structured like a salary, so she gets paid the same amount even if we are home early or the kids are sick, etc. She doesn't have a ton of nanny experience, but is a great caregiver. I think she's very capable of handling all 4 kids.
She wanted to do the share to make more money. We thought it would be good socialization for the kids and could save us money as well. But....
She would like to charge us $16/hr each family for hours she has all 4 kids. For hours she only has 2 or 3 kids (when older kids at school), she wants to charge $17/hr each family. This seems astronomical. She would be making $32-34 per hour??? I know it's 4 kids, but that's a lot of money! I want to be fair, but this doesn't really save us any money and by the time we are driving to the other family's house to pick up our kids half the time... it's a wash. If it was just about socialization, we could do a daycare for far less money.
I tried searching for nanny share salary suggestions but I didn't find much info for so many kids. Any ideas? And how to approach now with the nanny who has these hopes/expectations of making $30+ per hour? I was thinking of offering a flat $14/hr per family regardless if 2, 3, or 4 kids at a time. So she'd make $28/hr. The other family wants us to do the negotiating since she was our nanny first but is more or less on-board for anything less than $15/hr.
If she rejects this... what then? We will have a potentially disgruntled nanny on our hands. I'm starting to regret going down this road...
Live-ins Need to Create Boundaries to Avoid Being Built-ins
I wasn't sure where to go for advice because my other nanny friends have different job situations...so I figured this was a good place to ask. I am a live-in nanny, and I work 55 hours a week. My pay is very fair and the family is extremely good to me. I really love my job, and have NO complaints except for the fact that I have a hard time separating myself from the job BECAUSE I live in. I have weekends off unless they decide to go out, so I am free to do as I please, however I can't help but feel like I am always 'on call'. I often spend time with my nanny family even off the clock because we get along so well, but I am wondering if I should create a bit more boundaries? I don't necessarily think they take advantage of me-or they are definitely not aware of the fact that they might. I just feel like since I live with them and am around all the time, I am just a built in sitter, even after a 12 or 13 hour work day. My DB also was talking to one of his friends saying how convenient it was to have a live in because I am always around. Anyway I just wanted to know if anyone was in a similar situation and had any advice for me? I'm not sure this is even anything to talk about with my bosses but I just wanted some fellow nanny insight!
Nevada Nanny Reflects on Possible Prospects
I'm a student, struggling young adult when it comes to keeping up with school + rent and necessities all by myself without help of parents like most. I started this this nanny thing, as a live in nanny.. but i also clean the house (kitchen, her room, living room and laundry sometimes) plus watching the child who is very bad and you cant keep an eye off her for 2 seconds, she's 2. I get paid 200 a week, 40 if i work over night one day, plus food of my choice.
I'm a very humble spirit, I've been reading these posts and some of you get paid 300 to 700 a week. I'm like wow! I think i'm too humble :\, my boyfriend said they're cheating me of pay because i clean too, plus i feel like i'm walking on egg shells with the mom all the time. Oh well, I'm not on contract but i have 4 months left, then i would look for somewhere to rent with the money i made, and some work back in Florida. I'm a Nanny all the way in Nevada. I wish there was a Nanny offer in south Florida, that would be awesome.
How Should Nanny Approach VP MB for a Raise?
I have been a full time (live-out) nanny for a family with two boys (1 and 3 1/2 years old) for a little over a year. I love the family I work for and have done a lot for them over the last year! The mom is gone on business trips on average 3 weeks out of the month and I've taken care of her 10 week premature baby since he's been home from the hospital. I'm also a college graduate with two degrees (Architecture and Fine Arts), but with the job market the way it is, I've enjoyed nannying to make my income.
Last Christmas I had received a $100 dollar bonus after only working for the family a little over a month. This year, the family decided to take a vacation the week before Christmas so I had the week off. It was nice having a week off but it also meant no paycheck. The day before their vacation we exchanged gifts. I had bought both boys and the parents gifts. I didn't spend a lot of money but all the gifts had some sort of reason behind them ie, I bought the parents a nice bag of ground coffee because they always have a cup waiting for me in the morning. When it was my turn to open my gift, it was a $20 dollar run of the mill bath set, bath gel, loofa and lotion and the card had the a "note" from the kids which was cute, but no note from them. Even a card with "thank you for everything you do for us" would have been better than the gift. Not only did I not get a bonus, but I missed out on a week's pay while they were on vacation.
The mom is the Vice President of a company so she's not completely clueless on bonuses and vacation pay. I just feel a little under-appreciated. I was also hoping for a raise since I've been with them over a year, especially now that the little one is moving around now, he's a fast crawler! haha! I was thinking about writing up a contract for the upcoming year that stipulated paid holidays, vacation time and sick days and possibly asking for a raise. I don't know how to go about bringing it up. Any comments would help! Thanks!
Friday
If you are a Nanny and would like to share with us what you received for a bonus this year, please email us or send a message using MEEBO. If you are an Employer and would like us to know what you are giving your Nanny as a bonus this year, we want to hear from you, too.
PLEASE INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING:
* Bonus this year (2011):
* Your weekly salary:
* Any supplementary gifts aside from the Bonus:
* Length of time you have worked for the Family:
* City, State and Country where you live:
* Any additional comments:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TO SEND IN A SUBMISSION:
1) email to isawyournanny@aol.com
2) Leave as an anonymous comment to THIS post right here, right now.
3) Leave as an anonymous instant message using the MEEBO toolbar on the right side of the main ISYN page.
* You may send in Questions, Nanny/Employer Horror Stories, Rants/Raves, A Day in the Life of a Nanny, Worst Interview Experiences...
FOR NANNY SIGHTINGS, PLEASE INCLUDE:
* Physical description of caregiver
* Physical description of involved child/children
* Address or venue of observed incident
* Date and time of incident
* Detailed description of what you witnessed
* Description of vehicle, bag, or stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver
Wednesday
I just wanted to share a terrible experience we had with a Filipino nanny who used us to get out of the Philippines, took our money, lied, and ran away a month and a half after she started her contract.
Her name is Malouchie (last name withheld) and goes by the name Malou. She was born on 31 Aug 1977 and her passport number is (withheld). I am attaching a picture and a passport copy of her. We live in Cyprus at the moment. I am from Cyprus and my husband is American. We have a 7-month old baby boy. Since I work in the medical field, I didn’t have the chance to take a year or two from work to stay home and raise my child. In my profession the field advances so quickly that taking time off would most likely be the end of your career. Since I have invested so much in my education and career, I didn’t want to do that. In Cyprus, unlike other western countries, there are no reliable nanny agencies where you can see the references of the person you want to work with before you hire them. There are people who find nannies but your chance of finding someone good is 50/50.
So, when a government employee who works for the local work permit office told me that he knew a Filipino who wanted to come to Cyprus and work, and that she had childcare experience, I was excited. I had been looking for somebody locally for the last 3 months and I had been disappointed over and over again, so I was intrigued. I got in touch with this person via Skype. She gave me all the answers that I wanted to hear. She said she took care of a boy from 3-months to 3 years in Ankara, Turkey for a French family. She had a son herself and loved boys. She had worked in a Spa for her last job (with her mom who is a reputable masseuse) but didn’t like it since men who had interests other than “just a massage” came to the Spa and she didn’t work in that area. When I told her we had a dog that is a big part of our family, she said “I will have two babies then”. I thought that we finally hit jackpot.
I spent a couple of months getting all the paperwork ready in order to bring her to Cyprus. A big part of that was to get a transit visa to Turkey for her since she would have had to fly to Cyprus from there. In Turkey, they are supposedly very strict with issuing transit visas to Filipinos since they lie to enter Turkey and then work there illegally. So they asked for a contract, which we prepared and sent to her, to read it over and agree to it. She agreed to everything. Meanwhile, I asked her to get her medical tests done since HIV, Hepatitis and some other tests are required in order to have a work permit issued here. She asked for money to get her tests done, for traveling to the Capital and for her POEA papers there-in total $600. I gave them to her without questioning her, she said we could deduct it from her paycheck when she gets here. I had also told her we would pay for her plane ticket to come here, we just wanted her to fulfill her 2-year contract.
Long story short, she finally made it to Cyprus. While she was here working for us, we paid for her everything-from her toothbrush to her cellphone. She had her own room with cable and DVD player and her own bathroom in our house. We just wanted her to be good to our son, and not much else. We have a housekeeper that cleans our place once a week, so I didn’t expect her to do much cleaning (which most live-in nannies do in Cyprus). She was very good with our son. We were very pleased with that and were willing to do anything to keep her happy. We order take out often from expensive restaurants and we always asked her what she wanted and got her anything she asked for. I always asked if she wanted something from supermarket and went out of my way to get them. When we went out to eat as a family, we always took her along. We treated her as part of our family. She never ever said thank you and always acted as if it was our duty to get her whatever she wanted. We so desperately wanted a good nanny for our son that we overlooked all her flaws.
After a month and a half of working for us, she made up a lie that she was drunk and couldn’t come home (!) on her off day. We realized a day later that was a plot she made up in order to distract us from the fact that she was actually on a flight to Turkey. She escaped leaving most of her belongings in our house. She took some of her things and made up a lie as to why she was taking them. It looks like she wanted to work in Turkey, I am guessing not as a nanny, and she used us to get out of the Philipines (since Filipinos cannot leave their country now without a valid contract etc). She took our money. She had us pay for her ticket. She took advantage of us. I am just glad we only spent one and a half months with such an evil person living with us and not a year or two.
She is now living in Turkey illegally. I am writing this so that a manipulative liar like this will not be able to take advantage of innocent families like us. One may come from a poor country but that shouldn’t prevent her from making an honest living.
Stop the Insanity!
I have been a mothers helper for 3 (now 3, 5, 7) children in a little ritchie town in Essex County NJ. The mother is a stay at home mom and the father is always gone for buisness trips so far no big deal. I have been their help since March. They have 2 sitters a morning sitter and me (the afterschool/ night time sitter) The morning sitter for 6 years broke her hip in the summer so for 2 weeks I took on all the hours from the moment all three children woke up to when they go to bed (which killed me to be quiet honost cause it was from 7am-10PM) They have a cleaning service come every friday! Now before sitter AM broke her hip my job was to straighten up (dishes and laundry and sweep the kitchen floor) Now that the new morning sitter is back (she was once the PM sitter but she had a son) shes like a clean-a-holic so when I get there every day the house is spotless which we never signed a contract for but I feel like its a constant battle between us like shes always outdoing me. Granted I had a better relationship with the morning sitter when I first started working she was older and close to retirement though.
This is my first "full time" nanny position so granted I am stupid for not having a real contract with everything laid out. However my hours in the beginning were only suppose to be 245-9:00/9:30 (pick up the oldest from school and stay with all 3 until they all go to bed) and 7am on Sat to about 4pm. Since I had a great relationship with the morning sitter I am trying now to have a good relationship with MB after all she is a stay at home mom. However these last 2 weeks as i'm trying to develope a relationship hasnt been going to well. MB broke her arm so she has been on percasets and a royle bitch. I try filling her in on the little things in my life and shes now attempting to be a mother to me for example I mentioned to her I am going back to college (during the morning- it won't affect my schedual with her in any way) and she is trying to tell me what to take etc etc. To find out small things like confirming what to make the kids for dinner she doesnt pick up her phone i send her a text and she bitches at me IN TEXT cause her arm hurts. Her car is in the shop and she can't drive so she begged me to come early to drive her around and she frowned upon my car because its not as nice as hers and told me to get a nicer car or "safer" car for when I need to drive her kids in it! Thank god my fiance is being generous enough to allow me to take his for the past 2 weeks.
Another thing that has bothered me is the fact Ok her arm is fractured not technically broken but she had me stay til 7pm on Sat to wrap all of her xmas presents and yelled at me because they weren't too her liking the way I wrapped them and she couldn't keep up with which presents were from who and got stressed out and freaked on me. Thats another thing I went to starbucks because she wanted me to come in at 12 on my day off (and of course I will I need the money) and I offered to buy her an ice coffee (sent her a text- she didn't respond and didnt answer her phone) so i assumed she was busy or didn't want one. I brought mine inside and she yelled at me saying that shes generous and how DARE I bring my coffee in Her house!
Long story short I love the kids to death! S just learned to be potty trained A is learning how to read and L is a little dancer theater girl who is going to a french school they are all bright.
Mommy has the children wear pull ups to bed and other things that makes me question her way but same point i have to do her way or else i am out of a job. Most of the time she is out running errands or taking this one to one class and the other to another class. She pays 15 an hour cash and I do work between 30-40 hours a week making 500+ so it is VERY Awsome money in this economy. From another view is this too much insanity for being a nanny? I am new at this and I am curious as to weather or not this is normal?
Nanny Wants to go the Extra Mile
I am a well-educated nanny who recently starting working for a wonderful family (week before Halloween). I have a wonderful relationship with the parents and kids. It is a dream job and I couldn’t be happier.
A few days into the start of the job, I was introduced to the MB’s best friend (also the across street neighbor), N. Now, one time in the last few weeks, N came over and started telling me a lot of MB. Nothing bad, but obviously things that MB had told her in confidence. I knew she wasn’t suppose to tell me. About my charges, MB’s job, and so forth. N then confronted MB and told her what she had done. She told her everything that she had told me - all but one thing. MB was not happy and couldn’t speak to this friend for several days.
Now I know of a few medical issues that my 2 year old charge has - but not the diagnosis. N told me that my two year old charge may have the same thing his mom has. MB is very sensitive about her condition - if she has one. N told me this.
My question is - should I ask her about it? If my charge does have this condition I would be able to do research. I would be able to help him with skills, learning, and communication in more effective ways. Or should I just leave it and let MB come to me? Should I tell MB what else N had told me about my 2 year old charge? I know I should just leave it alone but I want to help this child more effectively. But I also don’t want to add fuel to the fire. Thank you.
E-mail Etiquette
I have a part time nanny job, have had it for almost a year now. The family left for vacation yesterday, therefore I am currently on vacation as well. Today I was offered a full time job (not child care related), which begins next week, and I want to take it. Is it extremely wrong to quit over email ASAP? This would give the family exactly two weeks to find someone. I hate that they are on vacation, and it's the holidays, but I don't have much choice. Despite it being a decent job, with a lot of respect, I didn't really click with the children (three of them), and while I think they have no problem with me, I am also not going to be remembered as a favorite nanny. Is an email acceptable in this case? I feel terrible, but I am also not looking to be a career nanny, and want to take this new job.
No Thanks, I'm Taken!
I applied to over 100 nannying jobs on craigslist with the idea that a lot of them wouldn't get back to me. For the first week, I got about 10 responses and I'm seriously considering a couple of them. However, there's been a steadier flow of interest and if I'm on the verge of taking a job, how do I turn down people who call or email me? I feel bad disappointing them, but I'm taken!
Tips and Tricks
I am new to being a nanny and I was wondering if you all could offer some tips on setting up a portfolio, resume, and contract for interviews. I've been in childcare for 4 years (3 in daycare and just this last year as a nanny/sitter with temp jobs) and I've always let the family decide pay and duties. I know with my next job I'll need something more consistent as far as salary goes. Is it out of bounds to have a weekly minimum salary and they pay me even if they decide to take a day off? Something like $13.50/hr for 40 hrs a week, so $540 gross between set hours.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)