Literal Confirmation on Why I was Fired

I understand that you have the right to terminate me. Just for the sake of closure and so I know for next time, I'd like to know if I did something wrong or offended you.

I really don't want to get into this with you. Good luck.

So I'm fired after two months, no warning you were unhappy, no severance and no explanation.

Apparently.

You're professionalism is astounding.

Your appetite is astounding.

What does that mean?

Steel Cut Oats? Vodka sauce? Pretzel bites?  Chuby Hubby ice cream? Lemon Wafers? Genoa by the block? Since you insist to know, I could not afford to continue to feed you.

I responded after that, but not as nicely or succinctly. So let's stop here. But.... Why are all these skinny, boobless, hipless, soulless New York women so consumed by what the live in nanny is or is not eating?

Send your experiences to isynblog@gmail.com.

(The) Trial Period (is over)

      Just a reminder to nannies out there. You have no power. Anything you do can be twisted and you will have no rights. My boss gave me every indication that I was to be hired and that I would be working through the summer. Look what I got on Friday, just in time to ruin my weekend. I busied myself this morning so my head was in the dryer when she left, but I don't even want to see her. I'm afraid to call the agency because they are going to be angry at me too because they won't be getting paid a placement fee. But this is crap, what she mentions here, total exaggerations.

Below is the CUT and PASTE version of the email:
Your thirty day trial ends on Wednesday.As you know, we had planned to sit down with you to discuss the past few weeks Monday at 7PM.  After much thought, I wanted to give you advance notice that I do have some concerns. I appreciate so much of what you have done, but the trial period is a tool specifically to flush out instances where we may not see eye to eye.

I would still like to meet with you this evening, but I don't wish to ambush you. I do have several concerns. These concerns, if not sufficiently and satisfactorily explained leave me inclined not to hire you on a permanent basis.

These are the situations of which I speak.

-Cake making 2-3 times per week is excessive. I also recently learned that you take one tray home with you when you make a cake. Since I didn't know about it, it seems like this was done covertly and I have an issue with that.

-Missing postage stamps

-X's strep throat medication. On 6/2, you gave X her last dose of antibiotics. And then in front of both children, you drank the rest of the medication and said, "so I don't get sick". I understand that may have been a flippant comment but I feel that was demonstrative of a poor role model.

-When you did not leave the receipt for Thursday's (6/11) groceries again, I was able to get a print out from the store. This was complicated and exhaustive, but I just wanted to be sure everything was on the up on up. As you kn ow, when you grocered on 6/5, you mentioned that the receipt is in one of the bags. At that time, I suggested that you keep the receipt with the credit card and on your person. Nevertheless, on the grocery bill, I have found some items that I don't see having ended up in our home and would like clarification on the whereabouts of:

• 1 lb Twizzlers 
• 1 package Daisy brand disposable women's razors
• 4 pack of Sugar Free Monster Drink
• 1 cheesecake, 12 serving mixed sampler
• 1 Colgate Spin Brush

-Computer Usage. While I have no issue with you using the computer, the children use it mostly for homework. Not only did you use it for what I would deem inappropriate activities, but you left the children exposed to some of the materials you accessed by not clearing your search history. Examples of the websites visited/searches during work hours:

• Bulbous penises
• Penis with big mushroom
• Thickest Penis
• High Times/ Buy Marijuana Online
• How to Vomit
• Laxatives and Pedialyte diet

I am sharing a copy of this with xxxx at the agency, along with a summary of some of the more positive things we have experienced. If you would still like to meet, please let me know by text before 2 PM.

Warmly,
xxx

2015 The Firings, #4

      I was with this family for an entire summer after leaving an amazing teaching job of 5 years. The 2 children ages 3 and 6. This was my transition job from a wonderful but high stress teaching position back into the nanny field and was supposed to be a stress reduover... After a few days the 6 year old began showing his true colors ie hitting me and brother at will noodling in parking lots, urinating in my car because I said no to ipad, Using abusive language toward me" shut your hole" when I sang along to snuggle puppy and this is just the tip of the iceberg. I was really trying to make it work as I have never been one to job hop or give up easily and felt that after 3 other nannies in 3 years the children deserved a bit of stability. After 3 months of grueling work I was finally starting to make progress when I received a call from the agency I was with asking to speak in person. I knew it was odd but went along and met with the rep on a Wed evening. The meeting was called to address the fact they felt I was eating to many Peanut butter pretzels. Seriously. The kicker is the pretzels were being eaten by the live in aunt whom was the one pointing the finger squarely in my direction. Above and beyond the insanity of this" issue" they found the need to have a mediator discuss this with me.? I was given an ultimatum replace the pretzels or find another job. .I Never went back. I ran into them at the aquarium a month later and couldn't help but notice the 3 year old was back in diapers and the 6 year old had his nap pull up ready for the ride home. Neither child said hello because one had a pacifier and the other a zippy bottle.

     I was fired on Feb 15th of last year for basically being too hot. My female boss had made plans for a night out on Feb 14th. I was staying late to babysit. I don't know what happened exactly, but he came home ahead of her. I was eating a salad in the kitchen. He sat down next to me. She came in ten minutes later looked at us both and stomped upstairs. The next morning, I come out and get started on work. She comes out in sweats and says, "We don't need your type here. Here's your pay through today, you have until noon to be out. I'm taking X to my sister's. And the cameras are on, so don't be stupid.".  I was of course shocked. I was crying and shaking when I packed my stuff. It was humiliating and I did nothing wrong. I never got to say goodbye to either child and I was there for almost 4 months.


     I just started my career, and was working T and Th for a W/SAHM. (I questioned if she did any work, as she was always leaving when I arrived. Bags under her eyes; not even foundation and concealer could help her. I later found out why she always looked tired all the time.) I had been there for a month and half when she decided to disenroll her 3.5 year old son from preschool. At first she would take the older child with her when she went out, and that changed soon, as she left him with me. So now I had two kids to care for, instead of the baby. No schedule for naps, meals or anything else. After Christmas break, we chatted about putting the 3.5 year old on a nap schedule, as I noticed he was getting sleepy after lunch. She agreed to me having him lay down for a half hour rest, if he fell asleep, he fell asleep. It worked for three days T, Th and T, my days that I was there. The next time I worked, Th, she asked that I not put him down at noon because she claimed he wasn't going to sleep until midnight. OK, fine, it's your child, but I don't believe you are telling me the truth. So I didn't put him down for a nap, and the kid is falling asleep standing up. She got home around 415, and I had to be in class by 530 in rush hour. As I was leaving, I noticed S was alseep. I asked MB if she wanted me to wake him up. Her response? " 'Oh let him sleep until dinner is ready at 630p.' " Wait, what? But you said if he naps during the day, he won't fall asleep until midnight. No wonder why he won't go to bed and you have bags under your eyes! Other things she didn't like: how I read "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" (apparently my tone was "scary") and the fact that I made him dress himself and he would start having a meltdown. One morning I was running late due to weather. Not that late. I start pulling into the driveway, and I see her leaving. She calls out of her car window, "We don't need you today, as my MIL is going to watch them. Your lateness is unacceptable." It was so long ago, I don't remember what happened. What I do remember is having clear boundaries with WAHPs. It was a learning experience.

     During my junior year of college, I found a once a month weekend position caring for an infant. I made them a priority, and literally cleared my schedule just for them: if anyone else needed me to babysit on this family's weekend, I declined, as this family came first. I charged them $12/hr, and had no issue doing so; with my experience and background, I thought $12/hr was very reasonable. I was there for five months (August-January) and liked the job. The baby and her dog (a huge lab) were so cute! I wasn't needed in February, as DB had that weekend off, so I waited for the text about working in March. Nothing, until I texted MB after not hearing from them for several weeks. I texted Wednesday afternoon. She gets back to me Friday afternoon and tells me they don't need me, as the baby is going with a relative both days. OK, hmmmm. April came around and I didn't hear from them. I felt what they did was rude and classless-I didn't do anything wrong except charge them what I thought was a reasonable rate. Apparently they thought I cost too much, so they fired me.

Have a story? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

2015 The Firings, #3

     I was fired by text on a Sunday. I had spent the whole weekend buying things and shopping for a winter trip from NY to the Breakers in Florida. I even had to buy a suitcase. The text message said, "We've spoken and we won't be needing you anymore." That's all I got and this was after 9 months of full-time employment taking care of three children. I wanted an explanation. It took me three weeks to get an explanation. The agency that placed me finally got a hold of the mother I worked for. She was dodging their calls too. So I thought I wanted to know why I was fired. Then I hear it. Turns out the mother "couldn't bear the thought of spending ten days with me."

    I have a great firing story for you. I worked for a family in CT for three months. Everything was going great. One night, the garage was left open (a Sunday) and someone came and stole a snowblower, a jeep ride on car, a bicycle and a few tools. And keep in mind...this was Sunday...I didn't work, so I hadn't left the garage open...I was fired...because...Upon reviewing the security camera, the thieves 'looked like friends of mine'. I couldn't even argue that I didn't know anything about that, I was told, 'We can't go forward because the circle of trust has been broken, irregardless'.  <---Yes, he really said that. And this all happened in the span of three very long hours on a Monday morning in front of the three year old child.

     I was fired three weeks in to my job for 'ruining a mauviel heritage pan'. I didn't even know what that was until I was fired over ruining it, I had to figure out why it was so important. I asked how I ruined it and she told me with a disgusted sneer, 'You made scrambled eggs in it'. 

     I don't know if this is technically a firing. I went through an agency and found a job on Park Ave in the city. They asked me if I would be willing to do a 2 week paid trial. I said, yes, of course. The 2 week trial was almost over when the agency called me and said, "they think you are wonderful, but want to extend the trial another two weeks, just to be sure, can you do that?" I said I would. I was getting paid. I loved the job. I was getting to know the schedule, the neighborhood and the children. My last trial day was a Friday. Just like the previous Fridays I was paid by check at the end of the day. When the mom paid me she said, "Thank you, we'll see you Monday.". I don't know if she realized then that the extended trial was over or not. I called the agency to double check with them that things were a go for permanent employment. The agency had to reach the family. The agency gets back to me Saturday night and tells me that I am not to return there. I explained what she said and that everything went well. I asked what was wrong. She told me it was hard to get the mother to say exactly what the problem but finally the mother shared that I was competitive with her and had no sense of boundaries. What? I'm not perfect but those are two problems I don't and never had.

     My nanny family fired me after 4 smooth months when over Thanksgiving weekend the eight year old had nightmares of Jason Voorhees. The twelve year old had showed her some Friday the 13 movies. The 8 year old was really freaked out and the parents were upset. I understand that. The 12 year old told the parents that I downloaded the movies for him on to his computer and that it was my idea that they watch them together so I could 'go do stuff'. None of that happened and no one watched horror movies on my watch!

   

Send your "I was fired..." to isynblog@gmail.com.

The Firings 2015, #1

I had been working for a family for 17 months. They had two children under five and I got along well with all of them, especially the wife. One night she came home crying and as always, I was really nice to her. I set the children up with a movie and asked if I could do anything for her. She kept trying to get it together. She told me that she had read an email from her husband to another woman talking about sex at a hotel and how he couldn't stop thinking about her and was hoping they could get together again next month. I don't think she would have told me had she not been so upset, but also had a drink with a friend after work and two glasses of wine trying to get herself together.  I left about ninety minutes late. I came in the next day and her husband didn't appear to have been there. She took me aside and said, "I have to know you will never tell anyone what I told you, I shouldn't have said anything."  I assured her I wouldn't say anything. That was a Friday. She left for work, my day was as usual. She came home that night and paid me per her always. She paid me my flat salary although I had worked an extra two hours on Tuesday night (and the ninety minutes Thursday, but I wasn't considering that paid working). As we were saying our goodbyes, her phone rang and I could tell it was her husband. She started talking about what he could pick up for dinner on the way home from the train station. I said good night and left. On Sunday night I got a text that said, "Thank you for being a great nanny, but there have been some changes and we don't need you anymore". I tried to call her and she did not pick up. I never even got to say goodbye to the little boy and girl. They had another nanny start a week later. I can only figure out that she regretted telling me anything. But I didn't deserve to be fired in that way. I was really good to them all!

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(Text Message)
J (her dad):How much are you gonna give S (me) for her severance pay?
M (Boss): I am not sure. I know by Friday- her last day?
This was a Wednesday- my last day.. Yes, this is how I found out I was losing my job...

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I had been working as alive-in nanny in Westchester for three weeks,I had just gotten my phone line installed in my room and become acclimated to the very long schedule. (715-730, M-F). One Thursday night the father came home earlier than the wife who was planning to be out until nine. She had asked me if I could work until nine and I had said yes. One of the children was only 4 months old. When the father came home I was feeding the baby and he went to put the 3 year old to bed. He came downstairs to the living room where I was still feeding the baby and said. "Hey do you like Seinfeld?" I said yes and he put it on. He sat on the sofa. I was sitting in a big chair next to the sofa. His wife came home like 20 minutes later. She looked at me in such a way like I was an idiot. I didn't know if I was supposed to work or not work. I indicated that the baby was almost out. She said very bitchy like, "go ahead and put her down, that's all". So I did. I went out with a friend for pizza down the street, came home to a dark house and went to bed. The morning started as always. At 1030, the front door opened and the wife charged in. She demanded my house key. I was totally confused. She told me she was letting me go and I needed to get out NOW. She was very near frantic about it. I went upstairs packed up my stuff and carried it downstairs. As I was walking downstairs, I dropped the housekey and it went sliding across the foyer. She ran and grabbed it, as if I accidentally dropped it and was trying to keep it. It was December 16th. It was fucking freezing. I had to sit outside on my luggage until my friend could come and get me from NYC. She paid me 1/2 of that weeks salary and said I owed her the rest for the phone installation and whatever charges I had run up. I was too in shock to argue. Didn't do anything. Her husband was a harmless nerd.

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I was fired by my boss's sister. She lived on the UWS, my boss lived on the UES. It was a Friday. I had been there only two months. She rang the doorbell, I answered it. I assumed she was looking for her sister. She smiled at me. She was really a nice person. She hesitated for too long so that in that long pause I knew I was being fired. She said, "LaLaLoopsy doesn't feel this is working. She's never had to fire anyone before so she asked me to come and take care of it before the kids came home. I have your paycheck for this week and she put something extra in it." I asked if she said why or if there was a reason. She said, "I don't really know how to say this, but she just doesn't like you personally."  Yep. And the "something extra" was $50.

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My boss fired me by phone for eating her cheese and drinking the last bottle of Perrier water. Perrier water which costs like $1.79 a bottle. I don't know what the cheese cost, but it was just cheese. She told me on the phone that I was "eating her out of house and home." No severance. No warning. On a Tuesday. After almost 5 months.

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I worked my ass off during a trial period knowing I was replacing super nanny. Super Nanny had left after two years to get married. The trial was three weeks. I liked the kids. I liked the family. I even liked the dogs. I was a live in. The agency that placed me called me on the Saturday after I had worked three weeks. She told me that Super Nanny was coming back. I don't know how they convinced her to come back since she now lived over an hour away, but it didn't matter. I suddenly had no job.

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My mom got me fired from my job after almost a year. I was a nanny outside Boston working in a very large, semi formal home. She had come to visit from Oklahoma. When she met my boss, you could tell they didn't like each other. They were like fire and ice. My boss tried to compliment me in her way (she was terse and cold, but trying) and my Mom deflected and made a comment about how nice it must be to have so much free time. (My mom was awkward but trying to make small talk). My mom was going to be a guest in the house that next week when my boss and her husband traveled to CA. To avoid any awkwardness, I put her up at a hotel that first night. The next day, which my boss was planning to leave at 4 that evening, she told me that my she wasn't comfortable with my Mom staying in her house, that she had never been treated so poorly by anyone and certainly I shouldn't expect her to now stay in the house. I tried to apologize. But the more I thought about it I got so mad. My mom was out here for six more days. When I tried to talk to her about it, she told me that she wasn't about to have the nanny make her feel bad, that it was her house and that I was free to leave. I asked her if she was serious. She told me, "At this point, I don't really care". She took her two older children out of school and took them to California with her. After almost a whole year, I left with nothing. I had to fight to be able to stay to pack up my own things. She let me come back at 4 to pack up my room, under the watchful eye of Joban, the gardener, who had a locksmith come and change the locks as I was still packing.

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I went on vacation from Chicago to California with my nanny family after 9 weeks. I was excited. The children were 3 and 9 and we were staying in a staffed beach house. There was someone to cook and two people to clean. I did nothing but play games, play on the beach with the kids, etc. I put the three year old to bed every night and got him up every morning. On the fourth day, I was getting the kids dressed to head out and the Mrs asked me where I was going. I said, "I told the kids we'd go to X and get ice creams this afternoon by the boardwalk". She said, "Oh Melissa, this isn't your vacation. You're working. I will take the children with me. Could you stay and help Oma with the beds and laundry? Thanks a bunch/" By the time we flew home, she wasn't even talking to me. She had even tried to keep the kids from me. At the airport when we landed, we waited for a car service to take us back to their house. I was given an envelope and told I would need to take a cab home "or wherever I needed to go" and that "This is obviously not going to work."   No extra pay. PS Oma didn't need my help and knew she was just a fucking bitch!!!

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Are you a nanny that's been summarily dismissed? Or an employer that has had a nanny quit? Send your stories to isynblog@gmail.com