Wednesday
Nanny vs Housekeeper...
I've enjoyed reading the other nanny vs. housekeeper submissions because I can certainly relate. I've worked for my current family since the twin's were four months. The housekeeper started before me, shortly after the twin's birth. Her service was a baby gift from the grandparents for one year. After the twin's turned one the parents decided to keep her on, so we've worked together for a while. She loves the boys and is really sweet with them, which I appreciate, but drives me crazy.
She is here for two hours each time and probably spends at least half that time playing with the twins. I try to take them outside or into another room but the house isn't very big. I would love to just plan outings during these time frames but she insists on coming at 1:00, which happens to be right in the middle of nap time. I've tried communicating to MB and DB that this is disruptive (the twin's either get woken up early by the noise or aren't able to nap until she leaves at 3). They asked her to start coming at 10, which she did for a week or two. I'm not sure if the switch back was approved by MB/DB or not but I don't necessarily feel comfortable bringing it up again.
Her cleaning skills are below average at best. Then again, spending at least half of her time playing with toddlers doesn't leave much time for cleaning. The twin's grandmother comments on the lack of cleaning all the time, so I know it's just not me. If the cleaning was better I'd be less irritated. Not only is she disrupting my days, she's adding to my own work load. My contracts states that I have no chores outside of caring for the children and preparing their meals. I'm supposed to leave the dishes and kid's laundry for the housekeeper but have started taking on both in hopes she'll be able to leave sooner. I often start parent's laundry or other chores as well in an attempt to get her in and out.
This was a vent more than anything but I would also love to hear stories and advice.
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25 comments:
i could say alot - and i may later - but right now what i will say is - SHE KNOWS - exactly what she is doing. Something is going on with GRANDMA - either she is a friend,worker,church member, where she is protected somehow - keep us posted
Leigh, I think you have misunderstood. I don't believe the grandmother had/has anything to do with keeping the housekeeper. Where as it may have been the grandparents who originally paid for the housekeeper, it is certainly the parents decision for her to remain employeed.
OP here. The poster above is correct. The grandmother did not hire this housekeeper specifically, only paid for the services. MB found the housekeeper through a friend who also uses her. The grandmother doesn't even like the housekeeper and think she's does a poor job. Sorry if that was unclear.
My family had a housekeeper like this - did not do much cleaning and expected me to have her favorite starbuck waiting, and all her fave tabloids by "her' chair and you could not tell her one thing. After my gma died she started verbally abusing me and i literally had to take her to a psychologist to get rid of her.
If the mom and dad are "happy" with her there is not much you can do, i believe you should not take on any of her duties because it will stay that way.
You need to FIND a way to get the kids away from her - they can't sleep anyway. Let us know how everything goes
Dude, Leigh... WHAT THE HELL? What does your issues with a housekeeper who your grandma had and that you took to a Psychologist, have to do with this post AT All? The person posting clearly stated the situation and after you misinterpreted it, clarified. Then you told us about a housekeeper and situation that clearly has nothing to do with the post. Your several comments on this post are bizarre, not cohesive and do not apply to the actual post at all.
You seem to be posting strange things since you purchased ISYN. You consistently appear to have issues with things like proper use of capitalization, (use of "i" instead of "I") and your grammar is awful. I know that people make mistakes. I too have been known to have a typo or misspell now and then, but your consistent and glaring grammatical issues are not getting better with time. It is getting frustrating and to be honest you are on the very edge of loosing YET ANOTHER reader/commenter/contributor.
Your grammar and writing skills stink and aren't getting better. It doesn't take much to run a post through spell check - but apparently you don't know how or care enough to take the two minutes to do so. You've been caught re-typing old articles from news sources and don't give them appropriate credit until called on it by the readers.
I could go on but I really doubt it will make a difference.
You are on the threshold of loosing more people. Aren't you concerned about that? What is going on here? Is this all that ISYN is going to be from now on? If so then I'll just say thanks for the memories and move on. If you are actually going to have articles from contributors like you previously promised; if you are going to run things through spell check or use a proof reader, and if things around here are actually going to improve then great! You are standing on the edge of success or death of this blogs' readership - what are you going to do now?
Cleaver June get off your high horse . Quit being a bitch you are not any better than anyone else, so quit acting life it!!
Oops CJ I better correct myself, I meant like not life
cleaver june; - yes at 1st i misunderstood the grandma's deal with the housekeeper - but if i may quote the OP -
" This is a vent more than anything but i would appreciate stories and advice"
So - i told her a story about an annoying manipulative housekeeper LOL
cleaverjune - your rant was really awesome but i'm not sure i can make the Ops request and my response as an explanation more simple for you - if you wish me to try let me know.
haha - i think you may have misunderstood part of what was written - which puts you in very good company
and - thank you for asking about the statistcs "loosing people" - the blog has been doing very well as far as number of viewers per day - surprisingly so. I have to make the assumption that anyone we "loose" will be happier elsewhere
all things change - people change, blogs change, there is more than one person involved and one of the mangement team said tuesday " yay! the mad people are calming down!" but i know you can't make everybody happy all of the time
have a great day june !
( and of course thank you Jaxx)
The mad people haven't calmed down. Many have left. I will tell you that I miss many of the blog's regulars. You and SS - being owners or employees of this site really shouldn't comment on every fracking post.
We rarely saw the previous owner. You and SS post to garner comments/attention to the posts and it ruins the tone for me. You also backup each other's opinions and discourage an HONEST discourse imo.
As so the sock puppet accounts who back up and support the shenangins and attack dissenting view points.
At this point, the blog has ceased to be what it once was. Congratulations you've killed it.
Excuse me Becks - the amount of Persons READING the blog have increased 25% since the time we took over - it's in the sats ;) ;) ;)
And - The former blog owner did take an approach rarely commenting - that did not stop the negative element from being rude and discouraging to her and hurting her feelings - she told me so.
i have watched and been disappointed by the way some people have treated Jane Doe and MPP etc. So - It's not surprising the negative element is here but if they go away not many people will cry.
many people have come on here over the years and complained about the super negative element - so - To quote a fiend of mine in a steven segal movie - "We shall see what we shall see, won't we?"
Note: The times when a few of you guys ran the owner out of dodge are gone, sorry, - the blog is not only here to stay but we WILL post nanny sightings good and bad, we will keep the blog up not down and we appreciate every comment. The helpful people are heroes not only to their fellow nannies but to kids ! The mean people - i wish they were stqanding in front of and i would treat them to a starbuck to calm them down !
This post will be in two posts as you have limited number of acceptable characters per post.
Dear Leigh:
As you will see from the below, I have taken upon myself to make corrections and notes to your insulting post. Maybe you can learn a few things from my last comment or visit to your blog. (My corrections are in red and I can only hope that you blog actually accepts colored font.) Please know that had you not been so clearly adversarial since taking over the site & insulting your PURCHASED readership, using sock puppets as a previous poster mentioned, and generally rude toward anyone who doesn’t “love” what you have done to the place, you wouldn’t HAVE people mad at you.
I was silent about my feelings on the matter until today. I even stuck up for you when you first took over and attempted to give you a chance as there is usually a learning curve when taking over something new. But I have now reached my limit & I suspect that those who haven’t left already will likely be soon to follow. So, for the purposes of getting it off my chest so I can walk away and never look back here are the reasons I am leaving:
1. Your snarky tone towards readers who gave you genuine constructive criticism when you first got here.
2. Your lack of attention to detail regarding the quality and content of the posts.
3. Your plagiarism of other people’s work & subsequent editing of posts when called on it by readers, to make it look like you gave credit from the beginning.
4. Your unprofessional attitude and unwillingness to genuinely hear what your readers and commenters were saying.
5. Use of Sock Puppets and commenting on many posts yourself to drive up comments and traffic.
Now for your response to my earlier post:
CleaverJune 1 word and a name, requiring capitalization.. - Yes at 1st I misunderstood the Grandma's deal with the housekeeper - but if I may quote the OP - (Grandma is a proper title in this, so you need to capitalize.)
" This is a vent more than anything but i would appreciate stories and advice”
(When quoting someone, always make sure that you quote directly and accurately. If you can’t manage to type it correctly, try Copy and Paste.”)
So - I told her a story about an annoying manipulative housekeeper. LOL (Capitalization. “Lol" in this case is superfluous and not funny.)
CleaverJune - Your rant was really awesome but I'm not sure I can make the OP's request and my response as an explanation more simple for you - if you wish me to try let me know.
(Insulting the people who visit your site is not a good business. "Ops" is actually OP or OP’s, as in Original Poster. What you wrote was an abbreviation for operations, as in Special Operations.)
Haha - I think you may have misunderstood part of what was written - which puts you in very good company. (Punctuation missing, lack of capitalization at beginning of sentence & the letter “I.” Unless you are E E Cummings, I suggest looking into the rules of writing.)
And - thank you for asking about the statistics of "losing people" - the blog has been doing very well as far as number of viewers per day - surprisingly so. (Have you thought maybe people have been looking in to see how poorly its going? notice it doesn’t have much in the way of commenters or comments as it used to?) I have to make the assumption that anyone we “lose" will be happier elsewhere. (Again you have more missing punctuation. It’s "losing people," not "loosing" people.)
All things change - people change, blogs change, & there is more than one person involved and one of the mangement team said Tuesday "Yay! the mad people are calming down!” But I know you can't make everybody happy all of the time. (Run on sentence. Poor sentence structure. Days of the week are to be capitalized, as is the beginning of statements. You have more missing punctuation.)
Have a great day CleaverJune ! (The name is CleaverJune, not “june.” If you can’t even get the readers/commenters names correct, how can anyone believe that anything else you say is accurate?)
(And of course, thank you Jaxx.) (Lack of capitalization as well as punctuation in, and completing a sentence.)
Thank you Becks for stating how you genuinely feel. I don’t know about you but I have better things to do than continue to visit this site, increase Leigh’s numbers and get her advertising dollars for my multiple hits per day. To all other readers that may chose to stay, I wish you the best.
Buh Bye now.
Listen, you sound seriously confused. Do you honestly believe a blog frequented by nannies -named ISYN- is being targeted by those same nannies in some weird attempt to take it down? Really?!?!
I won't speak for anyone else. For myself, I want this place to continue. Better yet, to grow!
But I want it done honestly. Not with you blaming the "negative elements " for YOUR failure to write concisely, clearly and without glaring errors. Not with you getting your sockuppets to cheer inanity. Not with you commenting on every freaking post with irrelevant drivel.
Again, no one wants this blog to fail. On 12 hr days ISYN was sometimes my only adult interaction. Do better because we deserve better. Because ISYN deserves better and because I actually think you can do it if you stop treating every criticism as an attempt to take the site offline.
Couldn't have said it better. Thank you!!
CleaverJune - you really have too much time on your hands - thank you for the amusement though, sorry, no red but i would have liked to see that!!! I will imagine the red !!
Becks - Maybe not YOU - but yes, i have known this blog for about 10 years and there are nannies that say exactly that - very specifically - they loathe the name, are insulted by the name and make a point of dissing any parent that comes on here and virtually very few Ops can get away without something snarkey being said to them.
Also - some of them ( the negative nellies) have brought up the idea that they must be perfect for children all day and feel the need to come on here and vent. I am fine with that but not when they vent by making ad hominem attacks on Ops and other posters just to hurt feelings
Are you aware that the previous owner had to take the blog down in the past because of really hostile people?
And just recently she was harrassed verbally because people did not like the Ops - so - she sold the blog - and she was someone you guys like????? Wow - we need to send the nellies in to fight IS - they won't stand a chance!
And Becks - I don't mean to confuse you by illustrating facts garnered over a 10 year period - and I also don't want you to get upset thinking I am criticing you - I am trying to understand you.
Now - be aware - this blog is what ALL of us make it. I have to say that the former owner was and is a very very patient and gracious person. She started this blog as a venue for parents specifically to watch out for their kids - and the nannies have built on that and changed the blog. There are other blogs out there that will not let nannies post, only parents, and other blogs where only the owner can post. I certainly would NEVER expect the haters to.. like..ever thank the creator of the blog jane doe...
but ---- if you 9 or 10 unhappy people do not POST the kind of thing you want to see, then you have no one to blame but yourself.
Because - if you don't feel like offering posts then I will FIND a post lol - and complain away!
btw - the blog gets app 3-5k hits from around the world each day - so if 10 or less people are vocally mad etc and leave - ok, all we can try to do is our best and if it's not good enough then - we regret that - but there are some people who cannot be satisfied.
haha - i hope JC corrects all my typos again - in BLUE this time it's my fave color
I've been a reader of this blog for years and have commented here and there always with a positive tone and giving advice when asked etc. I enjoy the blog and enjoy that it had been an open place for different viewpoints and opinions. Yes, it drives me crazy when an op gets attacked or when some are always yelling about "how do you know it's a nanny". But, I must agree that's oh as the current owner are doing this blog an injustice by the way you come across to many of the readers. I can only assume you're a good pesos and want the best for the blog but I do think that they way you go after anyone trying to offer and advice or criticism has really turned me off to wanting to continue frequenting the site. I hope you do continue to grow it up I'm not sure your constant comments will keep me coming back. You can respond to this post in a snarky way and that's fine but I really am just trying to help by giving the advice that it would really benefit the blog for you to not come after anyone trying to give advice or a differing opinion on a posting or to even give advice about the blog. Yes, there are and have been some bad apples on this site but many that I have seen you almost attack in posts have been very loyal readers and commenters of this blog that I have not seen cause any sort of trouble.
And i do think they need to lay off the grammar and spelling stuff because I did check before I posted and there are still many errors in my post. I wish there was some way to edit on here. I could care less about the poor writing, spelling, grammar issues but I do care about the tone that you as the owner of this blog are setting ny your responses to many posts and commentators just giving an opinion. It is a bit annoying to constantly see so much response and extra questions in the comments section from you. Once again, just my opinion.
smalltownnanny - here i am responding - i hope you are ok with that ;). This blog has had the same lady for 10 years and she has had enough. So - yes there will be growing pains. I really appreciate all the things you said - that some of the same things that annoy you annoy me. But - some of the complaints the nellies have may be valid.
I really appreciate your opinion and will think about it very much - you and your tone are very professional - your charges and NF must be very lucky. I will consideer all you say.
I think too many people here are acting like children. People make spelling and grammar mistakes, I find the big ones slightly annoying. I am guilty myself, writing was never my strong point-- math is, math is just so simple to me.
Simply put: owner of the site, I understand your need to defend and actually think a few of the other posters were a little to harsh. But, from a business stand point or a gracious hostess, take what they say and simply make a mental note-- maybe say "to clarify you would like to see _____done differently?" make the changes, the readers will notice. The back and forth just sounds like 2 little kids fighting over something silly-- if this was back and forth between parent and nanny regarding what was 'normal' it would be brilliant!
On that last note, I would love a post that would create a word war between parents and nannies.
Peoplegonemad.blogspot.com is what this seems like now. We are all suppose to be adults here. it's great we have new individuals running who have more time however maybe not so many comments on someone's post esp if not helpful or nice. People's posts with questions or just looking for comments are not being answered by everyone going crazy on one another here. Some of my favorites have been parents posting and nannies commenting back and the the OP responding(like the one where the father actually was the OP!) that makes it interesting and people don't have to get nasty either. Big deal if grammar isn't perfect we are not in school here and esp when on cell phone it makes it harder to always type correctly when the phone likes to change things on you!
Lacy - I appreciate you ;) On the agenda is to put up some more parent friendly posts. Over the years I cannot count how many parents left this blog because the negative element pounces on them - in other words - you don't have alot of parents posting these days and I hope to change that.
It's interesting that you compare me to a "hostess" - that would indicate that this is my venue, my - living room- so to speak. So - all the commenters and posters are "guests?" hm, that's interesting - i may come back to that idea later.
A note: several of the nannies who are negative have said that they have to be emotionally perfect all day with their charges and then like to come here to explode emotionally and let it all out. I can tell you - I would not want that in my living room.This blog is to help children and give good advice to nannies parents etc.
They don't like being confronted on their behaviour so - they will act out for a while but all the tantrums and commas and whining will not help if ------they do not submit posts that they want to see.
One of them attacked the creator of the blog before she sold it for lack of content
so - we'll just keep on keeping on - but I will not back down and will not allow the nellies to be disingenous or bullies without standing up for myself and possibly others in the process of reaching out to OPs and commenters
The weird part is - most of the nellies are very articulate and intelligent - but here specifically they use their gifts negatively - I hope that can change, I believe it will change
Anonymous up there - I am so glad someone gets it - but - it's not "just" gone mad - this kind of thing has happened for years and if I can have any influence all the "mad" emotional blow ups/insults need to become rare rather than a regular feature.
We do have some good Ops coming up in the next couple days
I seriously do not understand the housekeepers I have had to deal with . They seriously seem so resentful of me.
I am very careful hat when the kids come home when she is there that they go to already cleaned rooms, stay out of her way, and make sure they they don't do anything that adds to her workload. Overall that seems pretty great.
But she yells at me sometimes. The other day the burglar alarm wasn't working, and it went off. I obvously went downstairs tomato sure everything was OK. I asked her if she had seen anything and she was all like "I didn't touch nothing." Obviously I wasn't accusing her of anything, just checking to make sure a murderer isn't breaking in or whatever. And then she started yelling at me so to give her to alarm code. (they leave it off on days she isn't there. It was malfunfutiioning.) She accused me of showing up at the house early, and turning on the alarm and leaving. LOL I do part time and don't make it my business to be in peoples homes when I do not need to be. WTF
Kate - those are good stories - thank youfor all your contributions - my experience is that many housekeepers really hate their job. I personally hate housekeeping so i can get that. She may be jealous that she sees you having fun getting paid and she has the drudgery.
I think she is taking out some anger on you. Try being nice to her, complimenting her job and buy her a starbuck - that worked for me a couple of times. Otherwise - it's just something you will have to put up with.
Kate - if you have more housekeeper stories write them here or email them into the blog.
Also - as I am reading this I can answer a little - What she is doing about the alarm is called "passive-agression". She is dictating to you extra duties on the alarm thing to cover up extreme anger she has about something else entirely in re: yourself or even your MB.
I had a housekeeper do this also - yelled at me ( the homeowner) gave me lists of inane things like not to have laundry in the dryer ( she had no obligation to touch it and it's my darn house)
well - people got mad at be on this thread for mentioning it - but the verbal abuse got so bad i took her to a psychologist who nailed it. - It turns out the housekeeper - who had worked for my grandma and was her age - HATED HATED working for someone younger than her ( me). She wanted her employer to be a mother figure as she lost her mom at a young age.
Here is the point: It's obvious to me that your HK lady is missing a couple of heinekins from her sixpack - and - she sees that she can vent on you and you will take it - because she can - until you won't let her anymore - keep us posted !! t-u!
I had a nanny and housekeeper. I always made sure to write down nanny responsibilities and the housekeeper did everything else. There were times when she asked the nanny to do something, the nanny never complained and was buddies with her. She also gave the nanny leftovers and they ate together. But when she gave tasks to the nanny in front of me I stepped in and told her I would decide on tasks, that wasn't her job. I told her that every single time. I also asked her not to give leftovers without asking me because the nanny spent a lot of time eating and left without finishing her tasks. While the nanny had lunchtime she usually finished her tasks first. On part-time days she just ate and didn't complete tasks, using the mealtime as a way to avoid doing her job. So I set very clear roles and didn't want them interfering with each other. The parents have to intervene. You should work out a list of things to do with the parents and be very clear about the housekeeper's hours. I clearly told mine her job was not to play with the kids, and reiterated that else nothing got done.
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