My hours at work are insane. I never have time for me. So imagine how thrilled I was when I was told that another nanny would be coming in a day a week to give me an extra day off! So they hired a very qualified woman and I got to meet her one day to show her the ropes. She asked me why I was moving. I'm not moving. Then she proceded to tell me other things that my employers had told her that were not true.The first incident wasn't a big deal to me but then....
The new nanny works Thursdays, I work Fridays. The very first Thursday she worked I was told that something really gross had happened to her. My employer basically told me the two year old had soiled her diaper sooooo bad and woken up and taken its contents and proceeded to put them all over the wall, herself, and the bed. I felt BAD! Ewwww. I mean on her first DAY! So today I ran into the other nanny and I talked with her about the kids. I then brought up the "incident" and told her it wasn't normal for that child and so on. She looked at me with an odd look and said "what are you talking about". APPARENTLY the whole gross incident NEVER happened! Why would my boss make up this junk? I would love nanny and mothers' takes :)
17 comments:
I wouldn't automatically assume that the parents are lying...could also be the new nanny...
Has your boss ever lied to you before? If so, I'd start looking for a new job. If not, I'd keep a VERY good eye on the new nanny and figure out a way to mention to mom/dad about the discrepancies in a way where you are not directly accusing the other nanny of lying.
This is bizarro -- someone must be lying, but which one? You might be being set up for something...
I would email the parents and cc: the other nanny each time you get a whif of a discrepancy. For example, with the alleged soiled diaper incident, I would have emailed the parents something like, "I am so sorry to hear what [charge] did on [new nanny]'s very first day! I'm sure it was just a fluke, but I'll keep a little closer watch in [charge] for the next week or so to see if there are any other behavioral changes."... I mean, that's not perfect, but just some sort of email that BOTH PARTIES see so that the party who is NOT lying will realize that the other one IS lying.
I think the nanny is being replaced, with a BETTER nanny, one that cleans up poop without complaining.
The way I see it, the nanny is going to be out of the job either now or later. The parents prefer it be later after they have found new help.
I'd find another job STAT and leave these yahoos to their game playing, and their new nanny, whether they are ready or not.
I'd start looking for a new job immediately. Someone's playing games here, and you deserve better.
First I would find out who is actually doing the lying here. It shouldn't be that hard to figure out. Just bring up the stuff in front of both your boss and the new nanny and then see who is lying.
If it is the new nanny, assume she probably wants to have you gone so she can have your hours. If it is the parents, LEAVE. If they lie about small petty things, they are also lying about bigger things as well which will only cost you down the line.
Oh I know she wants my hours she comes in on Her days off to clean for them since the maid quit!
If you have worked with this family and trust them, maybe talk to them. I would watch with the new nanny..I have worked in positions with multiple nannies and usually there is drama..one nanny was hiding the crafts I did and throwing out the playdoh I would make and would be really passive aggressive. She was lying to the mom all the time and ended up being let go..I didn't take the job but she really was crazy and spread a lot of rumors around town. I have a good reputation and she was clearly unbalanced and it all ended up being fine.
um, it seems like you are being replaced with another nanny. This post was a little confusing to read but the first red flag would be, "she asked me why I was moving." To me that seems like your employers are slowly getting her accustomed to the kids and are then going to let you go.
Now the diaper incident, that just makes no sense and truly has nothing to do with the first incident besides the fact that someone is lying.
Now I normally give the OP the benefit of the doubt but in this instance are you just making these things up?
If the parents have never lied to you before (as far as you know), I would be wary of the new nanny.
I don't see why your boss would make up things like that, but either she
or your new nanny has a really warped mind.
Making it up? Seriously? I don't know if I trust the parents. The job was originally offered for two nannies because of the hours. Idk I think I'm going to apply at preschools. I need structure Ans consistentcy as much as the kids do but that's another story...
I think it's likely that the family is lying to the other nanny.
You mentioned that the new nanny is very qualified, but she's only working part-time. Chances are the family hired the nanny under a false pretense and told her you were moving in order to get her to take a part-time job instead of something with more hours.
I've heard stuff like this from families before, "Oh, it's only 15 hours now but when our nanny moves/I go to the office more/summer starts you'll get more hours! In the meantime, you can get extra hours by doing housework!"
And then it turns out the other person has no plans to leave, or the kids get out of school and you actually get less hours because of summer camp, or what have you.
The poop thing... I have no idea. Parents trying to sew some drama between you and the other woman maybe? But the moving bit sounds classic to me.
You're being replaced, OP.
Get out now, while you still have a shred of dignity.
p.s. You don't think it's normal for an infant/toddler to get poop all over the place? Diapers come off sometimes, and that's what happened.
This post is questionable, at best.
OP...
Your above comment is very telling...
"I need structure Ans consistency as much as the kids do but that's another story..."
How are your days going? If you seem frazzled, it's possible the parents are looking for someone more able to cope. YOU are supposed to provide the structure and consistency. That is very important in order to have fun, smooth days, with happy children and a sane nanny. How many hours did you work per day before the new nanny came?
If this is the case, the parents should have just told you what their plans are. Either way, I would just casually mention to them what the new nanny has said to you. Say something like, "You know, the new nanny asked me why I'm moving. I wonder why she thinks I'm moving?"
If this keeps happening, I would just talk to the parents about it straight on, mentioning all of the discrepancies.
The new Nanny may be trying to steal your job or the family may be trying to get rid of you...or who knows? They may both be in cahoots trying to phase you out, etc. The only way to catch the liar here is to discuss things w/both the parents and this new Nanny and see what happens. This is how I find out who is guilty of lying to me.
This job sounds lame to me....too much drama...however I know it is easy to just say, "Find another job..." but in this tough economy, doing so may take weeks, even months. Unfortunately, you may have to stay at this job until a new one can be lined up. It's truly up to you OP.
I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. Being a Nanny can be tough.
Okay well, I don't have any thoughts on why they lied to you, but that poop incident did happen to me once.
An 11 month old - they had a baby monitor but not with video (my employers do now and it is FANTASTIC!!!) and he was silent the whole time. Went up to wake him around noon and there was poo EVERYWHERE.
The wall. The crib bumper. The sheets. His stuffed animal. His blankets. (I don't want to talk about the fact that they let an 11 month old sleep with blankets and stuffed animals but he wouldn't sleep without them so I didn't argue, just feared for his life every day).
Seriously the poo was all over the place and it was the grossest thing ever. He'd somehow taken off his pants and ripped off his diaper and proceeded to play with it for I don't know how long.
I almost quit nannying that day.
YES... I agree with Ms. Vivienne. Not only clarify the dishonesty, but let the newest nanny in on the parental behavior. I mean if parents had to come with past nanny references half of them would never get another nanny... A good nanny anyway. There's some crazy ass parents out there and unfortunately, you've found a set
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