I just stumbled upon your blog tonight and am in dire need of some advice. I am a nanny to a family with a 2 year old boy and an 8 month old baby girl. I care about the children very much, but the older brother is very very aggressive. He is outright mean to his babysitter. Bites, hits, smacks, drags, whatever he can to hurt her whenever you turn away for a second. He also kicked me in the face Saturday night at bedtime while the power was out and I have a big black eye now. The parents are aware of his behavior but don't really care and don't think anything of it even though it is alarming to me. They also didn't care about my black eye. Today the mom sat me down and told me that night after they got home and I left, the power had come back on and they discovered he vomited in his bed and they accused me of knowing that this happened but I just cruelly left him in his vomit. I assured her that this was not the case, I put him to bed and was in bed with the baby for the rest of the night in the next room, but apparently her husband is very very angry with me and doesn't believe this. I am very uncomfortable and do not want to be there anymore. The fact that they think I am capable of that and that they do not care that their son likes to hurt their daughter is very worrisome. If she ever got seriously hurt, I would be the one to get the blame. So, my question is, how should I quit? I am very uncomfortable and really do not feel okay to be around her husband or in their house. What should I say to her?
Thank you, so much in advance.
4 comments:
Write a letter. In the letter clearly state all of the serious concerns that you have discussed with the parents that have not been addressed or corrected with the eldest. Clearly state ALL of the injuries that you have acquired from the child, and all examples you can of how his behavior is seriously concerning. Be sure that you state you are concerned for the heath and safety of the youngest. State that you cannot work in a place of violence toward yourself and that you cannot tolerate a situation where the safety concerns for the youngest are not taken seriously or addressed at all. If you have any photos and documentation of injuries to yourself or littlest I would be sure to mention that in the letter.
You do not need to give any notice as this is cause for termination of a work agreement. Seek unemployment IMMEDIATELY. As this is a health and safety issue (your safety,) and an OSHA issue (workplace violence is definitely the O.S. part of OSHA) you SHOULD be able to collect unemployment while you are looking for something new. Most importantly, speak to an attorney that specializes in employment law. Most attorneys will give you a free consultation and will be able to tell you the facts and laws that apply to this situation in the state where you live.
Until you have left that house, I wish you the very best in luck. Stay Safe.
Oh, and I forgot to say ...
you are a mandated reporter. If you are really as concerned for the youngest as you say you are, you need to take all of the information about the eldest and the youngest to your states version of CPS, or the police. You NEED to tell an outside person/agency about the serious safety concerns for the youngest and the obviously serious "issues" of the eldest.
cleaverjune's advice is very very good - take it NOW and let us know what happens
Doing as the OPs stated is crucial for the family to get the needed help; or a CPS intervention for the children's sakes. Also, it will avoid you being falsely blamed for injuries to the baby daughter. Since they already claimed you were cruel and negligent to the son, they may go further with other untrue allegations.
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