I would like to ask my fellow nannies and employers a question. I have been part-time with a family and just became full-time with them almost a year ago. When we sat down and talked about a "contract" and all the odds and ends of the job, things were discussed. My employers had said they would give a bonus for Christmas (of course) and depending on the bonus they received I would get another one in March. I am a student and a full-time employee of 60+ hours a week. I would have to say I go far upon my duties and do a lot of extra things. I take initiative to do extra cleaning and grocery shopping and do special children parties and activities. I would like to think that the bonus is well deserved. I know the economy is down and I am sure that my employers bonuses are also suffering. So my question is.... Do I ask them if they don't give it to me at the end of the month? Do I let it go because it was not promised? I could really use the money!!! Please help?!?! I have received many other offers and I turned them down. I do not know how long I can keep loyalty when I am broke! Thanks in advance.
21 comments:
your bonus was not promised to you. No bonus is ever promised to anyone that is why it is called a bonus. it is extra from your salary. You are required to get a salary but not a bonus. If any of my employees came up to me asking for a bonus I wouldn't give them one even if I had the money and they did a good over the top job. That is so rude. Also you can't depend on a bonus to pay your bills as a bonus is never a sure thing. If you can't pay your bills you need to find a new job. Loyalty works both ways. Maybe you should sit down with them and re-evaluate your salary. not asking for a bonus
Pheonix,
I think you did not really ready what I had to say carefully. I said that the bonus was waved infront of my face and mentioned a couple times but not guaranteed.
I think I was asking for advice. I think you need to relax because this is NOT a bashing board but a comment board.
I could care less if you think it would be rude to ask for something I was almost promised. Regardless of my financial status I think I deserve the bonus.
I am glad I do not work for you and I would like an opinion from someone I can value!!!!
Loyalty should first be to yourself.
You are best equipped to look after your own best interests, as your employers are best equipped to look out for theirs, and paying you the least amount possible is probably best for them, at least in their minds.
Get the best possible job you can for the most money. That is showing loyalty. As I have written here before, most employers aren't going to remember your name in a year or two or three. You have an obligation to look out for and take care of yourself.
Village,
Thank you for your good advice!
Hon, Phoenix didn't give you the answer you were looking for and she called you out on your BS so that made you mad. You said so yourself that the bonus was not promised to you, so you should NOT be expecting it. And in saying that, no you should NEVER, EVER ask for a bonus. Even if you are expecting one and if one was promised to you, you still don't ask for it. If you can't afford to live off your pay, then look for another job, that's fine. But you can't depend on bonuses, especially if your bonuses are dependent on your boss's bonuses. What if you are working your ass off but their company fails? You are SOL anyway.
I'm not sure that OP was offended by what Phoenix said... as much as how she said it. It's called tact. And some people seem to lack it lately on this site. There's a way of saying what you need to say without coming across as classless. Just sayin.
Actually....I think in this particular response Phoenix demonstrated a good deal of tact.
It was tacky (and manipulative) of your employers to wave an 'almost promised' bonus in front of you, but the fact is, they do not OWE it to you. They owe you the salary you negotiated, and you should have negotiated a salary commensurate with all that you do every day. They knew this going into the negotiations, and they screwed you.
And it would be extremely tacky of you to ask for the bonus, especially before the projected giving date.
Your options are thus: be patient, and see if they actually do cough up the bonus at the appointed time; be more prepared to re-negotiated a better regular salary package on your next anniversary; or look for another job.
Nashville nanny,
Exactly! I am a grown woman and educated. I have a degree and experience being a nanny! Clearly I was just asking for opinions. This is what is so strange about this site people get nasty. I know what to do I was just asking what other people might do! Tact is the best word describe what people need to have on this site. Nannies and employers are supposed to support eachother and this site is supposed to help us relate. Thank you
Why can't people give advice without calling names.
Nobody is tacky!
My advice: Yes the bonus was not promised! If you feel you deserve it and it was mentioned. You can mention or being it up.
I would not demand it but say this: We spoke about a possible bonus at the begining and I wanted to speak further about it.
That is the best way to address it in my opinion.
I think your employees are sort of dumb for bringing up the bonus in the first place. In my mind, a bonus should be a surprise. If they had never mentioned it (even if they were/are planning to give it to you) then you wouldn't be having this problem.
I have to agree with the others that you shouldn't be "banking" on your bonus as a means to stay afloat financially, but I can totally see where you are coming from. As someone who barely gets by on her salary, if someone were to dangle money in front of my face, of course I could quickly make a long list of bills I could pay with it or things I could buy that I need. That being said, I don't think it would be that wise to ask them for the bonus. Perhaps if you feel that your salary is not enough, you could ask them for a raise? Just a thought...
I agree that the name calling is ridiculous. Miss Mannah, the first sentence you wrote was insulting to OP.
I think many people on this site lack tact. And if you would use the word "tactful" to describe Phoenix, perhaps you should get your head examined. She is anything but and I have been reading her posts for years.
Are you guys wearing your hearts on your sleeves? Since when is telling someone that their potential actions would be tacky considered "name calling"? Good grief, none of yall would last a week in my family if you find that offensive! I also find it quite amusing that the previous poster in one breath can say that one person doesn't need to be attacked and called names but then in her next breath she calls other people nasty! And if my first sentence in my previous post was insulting to the OP, so be it. I call 'em like I see 'em. I don't really understand why everyone is so obsessed with using tact on a message board.
Miss Mannah..... Being treated with respect should be a given no matter what the relationship or forum. Just because you come from a family that may speak to each other in a certain tone, does not give you (or anyone else) the right to come on ISYN and speak to complete strangers with the harsh attitude that is often used. I find Phoenix to be insulting and condescending in most of her posts. I used to love this site, and read it daily. But after watching the way that people like the two of you interact on here, I stopped following for a while. I'm ready to stop coming again, because it seems like nothing has changed. Why is it so difficult to post your opinion on something without being nasty about it? You're a mean girl. So is Phoenix. And someday I hope someone puts you both in your place. In my family (being from Jersey and all....) we use the "f" word in most sentences when we speak to each other. It isn't viewed as an insult. It is just a word we use for emphasis. Does that mean it is socially acceptable for me to come on here and use it? No. And being that I have social skills, I know that not everyone is like me, or my family. And shouldn't be spoken to or treated as if they are. You two need some "netiquette" training.
OP,
In some fields, a bonus is definitely something people depend on. There has been plenty of howling on Wall Street because bonuses have gone down with the economy, and second homes had to be put on the market. And yes, the promise of a bonus is used to lure an employee from another firm, or persuade them to take a slightly lower salary.
We nannies however, are in a different situation. Our bonuses are very rarely mentioned in negotiations, and because our relationships with our work families are so personal, to them it may feel more like a gift than something we have earned. I agree with the above posters, unless a bonus is guaranteed in your contract, I would never ask about it.
You don't say whether or not you feel your salary is fair. Since it is almost your 1 year anniversary, use that occasion to sit down and renew your contract, and discuss a raise. Be prepared to point out the extras you are doing, and know what you would like to ask for.
I agree with what workingMom and Phoenix said. BTW, I didn't find Phoenix's response to be offensive in this instance (other times, maybe); it was to the point - don't discuss your bonus, discuss your salary. Not bad advice at all.
Phoenix and Missmannah need to leave the site. You never have anything useful so say, and like a previous poster I too had left this site for awhile because it seems that on each thread I have read one of you losers has something nasty to say. It is time you both get a life and get off of ISYN.
OP, I see nothing wrong with bringing up the bonus in a casual discussion and think you should also bring up the raise when it comes time for your one year anniversary.
Good luck.
I wouldn't bring up the bounus.
I would make sure I was getting my agreed upon weekly salary, and when't it's time for your annual review ( or request a meeting if you can't wait) try and negotiate a raise with all the extras you do.
If that doesn't work or you don't think it will there's nothing wrong with pursuing other offers.
I agree with educatednanny and think missmannah and phoenix are out of line. There was no reason to act rudely to OP and missmannah, just because you come from a dysfunctional home where disrespect is the norm does not mean other people live that way. I hope you are not a nanny if you believe disrespect and name calling is acceptable.
OP, if you feel you need to bring up the bonus I see no reason why you should not since they initiated that by bringing it up in the first place.
Good luck.
That is not what I said at all. Go back and read my post. Or better yet, don't bother and just ignore everything I have to say. You'll probably be better off.
I have said many times name calling is not acceptable and you will notice I do not call people nasty names. I may say a person's actions or intentions are ridiculous at times, but that is not the same as name-calling. I would think being labelled a "mean girl" or being told I need to leave the site is much more inappropriate than saying it is tacky to ask for a bonus.
OP, you say that you became full-time almost a year ago but you have no written contract. I recommend you ask for a written contract on your full-time anniversary which includes your duties, hours and salary. You should request a salary that meets your current needs and forget about the bonus. If you get one, great! If not, you are getting paid what you are worth.
OP you said the March bonus was "dependent" on if the family got their bonus at work. Perhaps they did or didn't...I would mention it in a casual manner. Something to the effect of, "So...I was just wondering if I will be able to receive my bonus at the end of this month or if not, that is fine...I was just curious..." If they say they didn't get their bonus, then you probably won't either.
I would be kinda mad if a family said I would "potentially" get a bonus, but then I didn't get one. It's better if they just give it to you then say you might get it. Because in the back of my mind, I would be planning all sorts of things I could do with the extra money.
You state you are broke OP. You work 60+hrs a week and are broke? Then this family is not paying you well and you need to move on.....
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