Is anyone ever concerned that their nanny/employer will see the posts they put up? I know its a long shot, even if you post it anonymously and change some key aspects of your story, but has anyone ever run into this problem?? I'd love to hear your experiences!
21 comments:
I once put an anonymous post on CL about a family I babysat for. I did not mention names or anything, just a situation. And they read it and then posted a post about me, mentioning my name and blacklisting me from childcare in the area. CL took it down immediately and I quit. True story.
On the one hand, they were upset because the things I wrote about them were true. (They were slobby, lazy parents who came home very late every night, and did not pay me for the extra time.) On the other hand, I learned my lesson not to post anything about my employer. You never know.
When a Nanny job ended badly, I wrote a post on CL as well. Of course, I left out names altogether and tried to change up a few details, but lo and behold my former boss read what I wrote and threatened to sue. I never heard a thing from her.
I think it's best to just let things go...who knows?? It's not worth getting sued over.
Roxy you can't get sued when you don't mention names. I could see someone calling it 'defamation or whatever but if theres no names being said i don't think one could get introuble. She was just blowing hot air.
I have worried about this in the past, but what I really hope is that this site will provide a "what not to do" guide for people who employ nannies. I hope that if parents see a post about something they do that bothers their nanny, they take it as an opportunity to learn. Maybe parents will read this site and finally realize that we want them home on time, job creep makes us feel devalued, our job sucks when parents work at home, etc.
Probably wishful thinking on my part, but wouldn't it be great?
I agree. I read the site to learn how NOT to treat my nanny. She is taking care of the most important things in the world to me, my kids. While it's a job, and I expect to do it well, only good things can come from her being treated well and being happy. That being said, we do havena confidentiality clause in our contract. Mainly for privacy (2 of our kids are adopted, and the birth family has an awful background), but also for stuff like this. It's a small world and I would hate to see on CL that my nanny thought I was a moron because I spaced and put off paying our internet bill until our service was suspended :-/
True dat I wish.
I think all of us Nannies feel that way.
Christine,
As someone who feels confidentiality is important, do you think it is wise to say negative things regarding your childrens' birth parents on a website coupled with a link to your personal blog? Are you concerned that when your children get older they can access this information and resent you for it? After all, they are his birth parents. If you are concerned for their privacy and safety, why in God's name do you have a blog on the internet regarding them?
I don't know all the details, but it seems you have a big mouth, while at the same time preaching your concern for confidentiality and respect.
Just food for thought.
wow christine, I just checked out your blog.
you call your kids "little bastards" and "assholes."
I am glad I am not your nanny.
I just read christines blog too and found it funny as hell. Some of you people need to relax.
chill:
her blog is mediocre at best. And the point is that she posted about her "confidentiality clause" and that is ridiculous considering she has a BLOG on the internet regarding her children. lol
THAT is what is funny.
They are HER children. I don't think a nanny posting a blog about the kids would be appropriate...hence the confidentiality clause.
Christine-your blog is great. You seem like a great mom, boss, and extremely involved in your kids' lives. AND you have a sense of humor. Don't let THESE assholes tell ya any different.
I'm going to have to agree with "Strange" and call b*llsh*t on Christine. What kind of person BLOGS about her kids but makes her nanny sign a confidentiality agreement? If you want privacy, practice what you preach.
Seriously?! Some of you need to get over yourselves. A Mother keeping a blog to document things with and about HER children is completely okay! I work for a family and have a confidentiality clause in our contract, and my MB keeps a blog documenting her children. How is that wrong? My MB basically told me when signing my contract that she just wants to be able to decide how much of "their crazy family" she shows the world on her own. Who wouldn't want that?
I see so many parents who say awful things about their children on their blogs or facebook pages. Just remember that your kids may think it is fun someday to look up your blog or facebook and see everything you said about them. Even if you don't mean what you wrote at the time, how are your words going to make your child feel?
I can understand why some would think it would be hypocritical to have a public blog and ask a nanny to sign a confidentiality agreement. Like I said, for us it was based on a few reasons. But to respond to some of the questions-
Strange - our eldest girls were adopted from the foster care system. I picked up my eldest daughter from the hospital when she was 3 days old, and was addicted to meth. 3.5 yrs later we got the call to come repeat the process with her younger sister. We are in contact with their bio family, except mom who is in prison, we maintain relationships on facebook, in person, etc with their other siblings that have been placed in care. Our kids will always know their background, it's public record, and because of their on going health issues, we and they are pretty open about it. However, the reason we have a confidentiality agreement is because we feel what we tell people about our kids should ultimately be up to us. When I feel it's appropriate I tell people about potential behavior issues, learning disabilities, etc due to their drug exposure, I do. While we trust our nanny, we feel like that disclosure should be left up to us. Also, since bio mom listed 9 potential dads with our first, and 7 with her 2nd, and everyone lives in the same region, safety is an issue for us as well, and again we feel like that is something we should solely be responsible for.
As for my blog, I realize that it's not for everyone. We are not your average Leave It To Beaver family. We don't parent the same way as most. We swear, our kids have tantrums, we often eat taco bell for dinner, we deal with a lot of health issues, both with our drug affected daughters and our bio daughter, and nothing is a secret. It is a tool for me to vent, family members (adoptive and bio) to keep up on our lives and get a glimpse into my world.
And yes, we disclosed all of this to our nanny before entering a relationship, we wanted someone who would be comfortable with our crazy life.
Christine- I just went through and read a handful of you blog entries. Was the reason for Mia's liver issues discovered yet?!
Nope, we have a liver biopsy scheduled for next month :(
Christine, your blog is just mediocre. I really don't care to know your story.
It is completely a double standard to make your nanny sign a confidentiality agreement and post blogs regarding your children on the internet for anyone to see. Practice what you preach indeed.
To Z: well said. "how are your words going to make your child feel?" I think bloggers like Christine should ask themselves that.
This comment takes the cake: "A Mother keeping a blog to document things with and about HER children is completely okay!"
lol
"It's TOTALLY OK!" Please. It's not totally ok if you don't want personal information regarding your kids on the freaking INTERNET. And to talk about how privacy is important to you in the same breath just makes one appear foolish. And sort of dumb.
A good nanny always knows her boundaries. What a mb or db choose to make common knowledge by sharing is 100% theirs to decide. Strange, a Nanny is a professional. She is not a parent. She does not have the right to share whatever she happens to find interesting with the world and a good nanny never would even without a confidentiality agreement.
Strange: I find your tone and complete lack of understanding to be incredibly rude. Its posters like you who give ISYN a bad name.
to "jerk:"
you obviously cannot handle a reasonable argument. I don't care if you think I'm rude. My point was completely valid. And I agree that a nanny should know her boundaries. That has absolutely nothing to do with what I said.
You're a dumbass.
I agree with "Jerk". There was no "valid point" in your post. Certainly no "reasonable argument".
"Strange", I certainly hope you are not a Nanny. Those poor children!
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