Hi, I have a question I was hoping you could help me with. Maybe it is just something I have to deal with. I work for a good family. They are kind of eccentric, but they pay well and change plans a lot, which usually means I get sent home or called off, with pay. So, I'm not about to quit! My problem has to do with the father who calls himself retired but stays home and makes and composes music most days. There is a housekeeper who comes three times a week for 4 hours each morning. The problem is the stuff the father leaves behind. Examples are wine glasses with wine in them, beer bottle caps, beer bottles, tweezers, fingernail and toenail clippers, nail clippings and in addition to what I consider disgusting and dangerous, just routine messes, such as leaving pee on the seat that I am potty training their son on. He doesn't even remove the child's vinyl insert- he just pees all over it! This father is nice enough, he is very relaxed and doesn't have a lot of boundaries so sometimes, I think I could approach him but on the other hand, it is his house. Lots of times when he calls me in to ask me something, he is sitting on the sofa (usually in bare feet and jeans) playing with his toes and peeling skin and nails off. Given that I have just told you I have a pretty good job, do I just suck it up and stay quiet?
Thursday
Ew...just ewwww
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Hi, I have a question I was hoping you could help me with. Maybe it is just something I have to deal with. I work for a good family. They are kind of eccentric, but they pay well and change plans a lot, which usually means I get sent home or called off, with pay. So, I'm not about to quit! My problem has to do with the father who calls himself retired but stays home and makes and composes music most days. There is a housekeeper who comes three times a week for 4 hours each morning. The problem is the stuff the father leaves behind. Examples are wine glasses with wine in them, beer bottle caps, beer bottles, tweezers, fingernail and toenail clippers, nail clippings and in addition to what I consider disgusting and dangerous, just routine messes, such as leaving pee on the seat that I am potty training their son on. He doesn't even remove the child's vinyl insert- he just pees all over it! This father is nice enough, he is very relaxed and doesn't have a lot of boundaries so sometimes, I think I could approach him but on the other hand, it is his house. Lots of times when he calls me in to ask me something, he is sitting on the sofa (usually in bare feet and jeans) playing with his toes and peeling skin and nails off. Given that I have just told you I have a pretty good job, do I just suck it up and stay quiet?
Hi, I have a question I was hoping you could help me with. Maybe it is just something I have to deal with. I work for a good family. They are kind of eccentric, but they pay well and change plans a lot, which usually means I get sent home or called off, with pay. So, I'm not about to quit! My problem has to do with the father who calls himself retired but stays home and makes and composes music most days. There is a housekeeper who comes three times a week for 4 hours each morning. The problem is the stuff the father leaves behind. Examples are wine glasses with wine in them, beer bottle caps, beer bottles, tweezers, fingernail and toenail clippers, nail clippings and in addition to what I consider disgusting and dangerous, just routine messes, such as leaving pee on the seat that I am potty training their son on. He doesn't even remove the child's vinyl insert- he just pees all over it! This father is nice enough, he is very relaxed and doesn't have a lot of boundaries so sometimes, I think I could approach him but on the other hand, it is his house. Lots of times when he calls me in to ask me something, he is sitting on the sofa (usually in bare feet and jeans) playing with his toes and peeling skin and nails off. Given that I have just told you I have a pretty good job, do I just suck it up and stay quiet?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
22 comments:
Yes. You do. It's his house and if you don't like it, move on!
Send the mother an email and explain that you are very happy working with them, but ask her if she would please explain these things to her disgusting husband. I would never clean up the husband's pee on the seat. No friggin way--->BECAUSE i am the nanny and NOT the housekeeper. (the kid's pee on the seat, sure, i will clean that up). Also, let his glasses sit there until he or his wife cleans them up. As part of my job, I have to put the childrens plates and cups in the dishwasher, but I do not touch the parent's dirty dishes--->(do the parents also need a nanny for themselves?) Don't go near his nail clippings, wait until the housekeeper cleans them up. Or let the father know that you don't want the children playing in that area until he cleans them up.
Speak up!
Just suck it up. It is his house and he can do what he wants. From the sounds of it you have a pretty sweet deal, why put a bad taste in their mouth
Let everything go expect the pee on the seat. I would ask if he can use a different bathroom or clean up after himself.
He has the right to do whatever he wants and prob doesn't realize that it bothers you because they have a maid who comes 4 days a week.
You have a sweet deal, so don't stress over it.
I would call CPS on the family..I mean there are wine glasses with wine in them. When if one of the children drinks some wine?! And the pee on the toilet..well that is a health issue for the child..I mean all the bacteria!! I am only kidding OP. I was simply making reference to a previous post. LOL.
Anyway, since you are paid well and they even pay you when they change plans (sweet!!), I would simply suck it up as long as you can handle it. I myself am a bit of a neat freak and prefer to work in a clean environment, however as long as you can handle the "icky" factor of the job,I would just suck it up like Phoenix just said and enjoy your job. I am sure there are many unemployed nannies out there who would be willing to step in if you do not like your job.
Just my two cents, child abuse is not a joke. Shame on you.
There are a lot of anal retentive people that comment on this blog
I agree to just suck it up however I am a clean freak too so maybe ask him to us a different bathroom. Maybe you can just say something to the Dad like I really want the child to feel comfortable in the bathroom so maybe letting him know it's "his" may help. Is there a different bathroom you can potty train the child? I would at least try to discuss the pee thing if he doesn't take the bait I would just keep my mouth shut. You really do have a great job with a lot of flexibility so you are VERY lucky. Try to see the positive things in this situation even tho it is hard to turn a cheek. I think this is just a situation you have to pick your battles.
I am personally a big slob. I am a single mom and I have to admit I have a very messy house.
Our nanny doesn't mind. I pay her well and allow her to take my child to her house if she wants to.
I also pay her for an entire week regardless if I am out sick, my child is out sick, or she is out sick.
Some people are just gross. It doesn't mean we are bad people. If you don't like it, quit. But if they are nice and pay you well, I would just count my blessings.
Slob Mom,
Your nanny may be very happy. I hope so, you sound like a nice employer. Unfortunately many employers assume that as long as they pay well, the nanny is happy, and are shocked when she quits. As the OP's post shows, it is hard for a nanny to bring up things that bother her.
Boston Nanny...so we meet again! LOL. I was not mocking child abuse at all...I was simply mocking the other topic we were discussing earlier..the one about the cleanliness of the home, etc.
I personally think it is great that OP gets paid if the family cancels or cuts some hours. None of my families ever did that and is is a huge perk for you. Slob Mom...kudos to you for treating your nanny the way you do. Interesting option brought up..OP, perhaps you can take your charge to your home from time to time.
I would remove the child's seat from the toilet when he's finished. That way, it will be clean when you want to use it. It's a bit more work, but if it's the kind I'm envisioning, they are not that difficult to remove and put back.
Seriously, Two Cents, let's act our age, shall we? Mocking those who disagree with you (and bringing it into a completely unrelated post, no less)is a behavior best left to those still in grade school. And even then, it is a behavior which should be corrected.
And yes, by making light of those who wish to protect children from neglect, you are making light of the neglect itself.
------------
OP, if it is mildly annoying to you, maybe you should let it go. If it is really grossing you out, you should talk to them. It is his house, but you have a right to discuss your work environment. Do you have regular meetings scheduled with the parents? If so, just bring it up gently during the next meeting. If not, think of some other way. Try not to make a big deal out of it, and of course mention how much you love your job. If they are reasonable employers, and it sounds like they are, then they will understand that your sense of personal boundaries makes you uncomfortable with these issues.
Personally, I would not mention the glasses/bottles, as that is not gross to me like toenail clippings would be. I would only mention those things that really make you feel uncomfortable, perhaps such as the urine or his tendency to pick at his feet. If the glasses/bottles are where your charge can reach them, you could just move them out of reach.
I'm glad you have such a great job! Good luck with whatever you decide!
Eww.
OP,
If you really like your job, hours, pay, perks, parents, and the kids ~ do NOT say anything. I imagine it would be highly embarrassing to the dad if you were to call him on his nail clipping, wine glass or pee-pee mishaps. He is in his own home, comfortable, and probably just not thinking about how it could be affecting you.
If you say something, it will never be the same cozy work environment.
Do as 'another nanny' suggested and remove the seat if possible and ignore the rest.
repost for anonymous:
I don't think you should say anything! Try to either use a different bathroom for potty training, or as said before, remove the seat after the child has gone to the toilet! I am dealing with a messy dad myself ... he lets plates full of rotten food sit and stand everywhere and even more disgusting is that he lets his rather stained underwear (if u know what I mean) lay around the house and doesn't seem to be too interested to make sure that his number 2 has really been flushed down the toilet. I too am grossed out about those things, but I like the family and my job and just deal with it.
If you really have to say something, try to be sensitive about it! He might not even realize he is being so messy.
You've got to love how everyone is saying to just keep your mouth shut. Because obviously nannies have no say in anything. If you were a parent asking for advice on an annoying habit of a nanny, they would be telling you how important it is to communicate your frustration.
I would find another job. what is the wife like, she must have low standards to have such a nasty husband, I couldnt imagine crawling into bed with him, he probally is smelly! If he is acting like that downstairs imagine what their bedroom and private bath is like! Out of curiosoty what nationality is he?
Come on, Monkeyshines. Did you read the post? She starts the whole thing off by saying that she likes her job, likes the family, she's not going to quit over this, etc.
"[W]hat nationality is he?" Seriously?? Wow. What does it matter??
I agree with Rocket Scientist on this one...MonkeyShines..what part does race play in this? I hope you are not going to tell us there is one race out there where the male typically has these types of habits..please do not open Pandora's box.
I'm sorry, but this one was kind of funny. Even some of your angry posts made me laugh. Anyway, I'm curious about an update. I like what someone said about how bothersome it is too you. Something like, grossed out, or annoyed? Personally I couldn't tolerate the urine. I'd have to bring it up to the parents. Somehow...
OP--- have you decided anything yet?
Post a Comment