Nanny, (lazy bitch) seen with boy of about 4. They were at B&N on 7th in PS and she was sitting and reading magazines for awhile. I did not even know she had a child with her. Then a child approached her and asked when they were going and she said not anytime soon in a bitch way. He disappears again and comes back five minutes later and he has a dinosaur book and he says, 'can you read this with me' and she said 'no but you can read it yourself'. So he sits next to her and she tells him he should go sit somewhere else. He stands there looking confused and she says 'go on there are kids over there you don't need to be here'. He walked away in a sad way. The little boy was blonde, fair skin, light eyes, white & blue wide striped long sleeve polo shirt and jeans. The nanny was wearing a yellow sweater with shiny beads and stuff sewn on it with black jeans, she had short hair, white headband, attractive face and she was black. If you want to know if this is your nanny, she carries a square shaped, shiny, red leather 9 West Handbag.
What is it going to take for adults (parent, nanny, or anyone else for that matter) to realize that how they treat children during their formative years is severely going to impact the rest of their lives!?!? Sad to say but we'll probably see many of these kids 15 or 20 years from now on intervention, explaining why their heroin addiction is the only thing that makes them forget about their awful childhood. This is so sad.
ReplyDeleteThanks OP for the post. I hope the parents see this.
ReplyDeleteop here- the bag was red. i left that out.
ReplyDeletePoor boy :(
ReplyDeletePeople don't seem to get that rejection like that hurts 10 times worse than the rejection these people cried over in highschool.
Poor boy... I just want to go find him and hug him.
I'm convinced that the B&N bookstores are synonymous with bad nannies. Seriously, have you ever walked into one during the day? It's like a daycare center gone awry. Nannies everywhere with kids running wild.
ReplyDeleteSo sad...
Well, you are forgetting about all of the poor masseurs, manicurists, hairdressers and fancy restauranteurs that would be out of work if these heartless mothers raised their own children and were unavailable during the day to pamper themselves.
ReplyDeleteI can hardly bear to try to fathom how far reaching the tragedy might go...
Unused tennis courts all across the land!
Riderless exercise equipment!
Gossip that has no ears to hear it!
Lipo machines with nothing to suck!
Botox going bad on the shelves!
Child psychologists with so many fewer patients that they can't affors that second yacht!
Chaos I say! People this must NOT happen. Civilization as we know it would surely collapse
7:11- that must be you Mom, I would recognize the jealousy anywhere!
ReplyDeleteso true, if only parents would take the time with their kids and not leave them with a nanny 10-12 hours daily who does all for them includng dinner and bath. she the mother then comes home only to put them to bed. stay home and love your kids mothers, they belong to you
ReplyDeleteWhy are there so many bad care givers in Park Slope? It is supposed to be such a family oriented community, yet so many parents there hire poorly qualified women rather than professional nannies. I don't get it.
ReplyDelete7:34
ReplyDeleteJealousy? Of what, I can't even begin to imagine.
Sounds more like somebody is feeling GUILTY, and here's a hint: That somebody is NOT 7:11.
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ReplyDeleteWOW. 10:33, you're an ass.
ReplyDeleteTo all of you who have been arguing about working moms or SAHMs:
ReplyDeleteCan't we all just agree to disagree? I understand this is a very important issue every parent has to decide, and I have a very strong opinion on this just like many of you, but you are not going to change somebody's mind by commenting on a blog, especially when your comments are attacking a person's whole existence. Your arguments on every single post are getting old. Please go find a chat room to continue your dispute.
formerly known as 10:33,
ReplyDeletenot tolerated and reprehensible.
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ReplyDeleteI think this is an important issue and should be discussed anywhere even one child might be saved.
ReplyDeleteLooks like somebody went a little overboard with anger last night. Must have been pretty bad, because a lot of really nasty posts are left on here on a regular basis.
I am still curious as to why somebody would think a mom might be motivated by jealousy to want to see kids and mommies together.
Just curious as to why that would enter anybody's mind.
Can somebody speak up and let me know without cursing so the answer can be left up?
805-
ReplyDeleteThe jealousy comment was so off base that I dismissed it. Some people just make zero sense.
Kate, you are right on. I feel sorry for those who are unable to see any point of view but their own.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, the SAHMs that come on here to rant about mothers with nannies - your efforts would probably be better served elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteParents have nannies for a number of reasons. This board is a source for good and bad nanny sightings. Ther admonishments here are not going to change the fact that some parents have nannies.
Hopefully, this sight will help parents find and retain the best caregivers for their children.
SAHM's need to stop generalizing and judging mothers who hire nannies. I would *love* to stay home with my son, it is not a possibility. I am a single parent and yes, I have a nanny, because I couldnt bare to put him in day care. So I pay a little more, and know that there is someone I trust with him in our own home. There are most certainly mothers who hire nannies because they consider their children to be accessories to their lives. However, there are also working mothers who *have* to work, who hire nannies because they truly believe it is the best thing they can do for their child.
ReplyDelete1:20
ReplyDeleteI suppose I can't speak for everybody, but I can't imagine that there's a stay at home mom in the world who would have anything but understanding and the utmost compassion for a mommy who, for reasons beyond her control, has to put her dear, beloved child into some kind of hired care. In fact,(and I fully expect a lot of hate to come my way for this, so have at it folks) every time I read a post on here from a mom who says she wants to be with her child but is unable, I stop and say a little prayer for her that that will become possible for her in the very near future. (Eric's mom, you're in my prayers.)I know how I would feel in that situation, and I have nothing but compassion...and admiration that that mom is taking responsibility for supporting her child.
And I don't think anybody would judge a mom who has a nanny as a mommy's helper, but still spends the majority of her time devoted to raising her own children. We all can use a little extra help, as long as we don't take advantage to the detriment of our children.
I know that it sounds like people are generalizing, but I think that's probably because nobody wants to have to write a book full of disclaimers to every single post.
I think I can safely say that the moms who write here are interested in reaching moms who needlessly cast their children aside in order to pursue their own personal fulfillment. That's just selfish, and very detrimental to their children.
When a mom works out of true necessity, I think a kid grows up and realizes that they were not rejected, but loved enough to be sacrificed for. When a mom leaves her kid with a nanny all day because she wants more material posessions, social status, professional power, personal fulfillment, or simply to be away from her kids,the kids eventually grow up and realize how unimportant they were to their parents. That's heartbreaking. And cruel.
2:06 - So mothers who work for personal fulfillment do not think their children are important?
ReplyDeleteNot as important as themselves. No. Absolutely NOT. NO WAY.
ReplyDeleteThose moms may love their kids, but they love themselves a whole lot more.
So, love is sacrifice?
ReplyDeleteSince when did a mother's life end when a child's began... I'm thrilled that I was raised by a mom who loved me and her job - I never felt anything less then valued and adored and I had a role model who was a loving and caring mother and an accomplished and wonderful professional. My life did not end when my child's began.
ReplyDelete2:51, How do you know? You only had one side of the experience.
ReplyDelete2:43 NO, love does not equate 1:1 with sacrifice. there's a lot more to it. But when one truly loves, it is natural to want to sacrifice for the good of the beloved--to put the beloved above all else, even themselves. When one claims to love, but then does not make even the simplest of sacrifices to avoid harm to the alleged beloved, the depth and authenticity of that love naturally come into question. When one exhibits self love above the love displayed toward the alleged beloved,one must assume that the self has secretly become the true beloved. (In extreme cases it's called narcissism.)
Get back to the post. And the bad nanny. And let's hope the parents see this and fire her arse.
ReplyDeleteIt sounded to me like 2:51 does know what it is like to be the child and the mother.
ReplyDeleteAnd, 3:08,I am not seeing that a mother working because she chooses to fits with your love/sacrifice soliloquy.
Somebody asked if love equaled sacrifice...as if that were some sort of bad thing, I suppose. She needed to have it explained ot her, apparently.
ReplyDelete3:08 - I just looking for further explanation of your point of view on a mother's love.
ReplyDeleteI am sure you can see that your point of view is just one way to view mothering/parenting.
your time goes where your heart and passions are. If it's not spent on your kids...it's something else that floats your boat.
ReplyDeleteThat's not even a debatable point, it's so obvious!
My mother stayed home, didn't work, didn't have a nanny and I still grew up knowing I was not terribly important to her.
ReplyDeleteFortunately for me, the kind of mother I had made me the kind of mother I am...a good one who LOVES her children with all she is and all she has.
So see....There are all kinds of moms and kids are affected all kinds of ways.
Thanks Mom! Your grandchildren have a wonderful loving mommy because you were such a bad one.
3:49, I seriously hope that your heart and your passions are not solely focused on your kids. I have seen it happen around me, and I can tell you that both kids and parents suffered from it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if someone feels that being a SAHM is the best choice for them, this is truly wonderful. If they feel they have to convince other mothers that this is the best choice for them as well, this sounds like an exciting call. However if they cannot do it without using threats, insinuations, and general nastiness towards these mothers, may I suggest that they refrain from it as it is not helping the cause?
Maybe Jane Doe could create a parallel "I saw this amazing SAHM" website where we could all go and admire each other...
Not focused solely on your kids...just focused first on your kids. Nothing in excess tends to be good. I also have seen "overly focused" moms, and it's not pretty, for the child or the mom.
ReplyDeleteAlso not talking to the moms who have to work, or the moms who use childcare for an occasional assist or break...that's all great.
Just focusing on the moms who let their kids feel like 4:13 above. Shame on moms of any kind who can't see the pain they cause their children by not letting them see how valuable and important they are, either by being gone needlessly all the time, or by being home and selfish.
Good for you 4:13 for being mature enough to look past your own pain and give much better than you got.
That's a good mom for you.
5:13 - So, a mom was works because she wants to but lets her child know that they are important and loved is fooling herself? Only the working mom who has to work can be a loving responsible mother?
ReplyDeleteWhat about a mother who works so the family can have health insurance but her salary is used for extras in the household - can she still be a loving, responisible mother?
What about a mother who works payoff her student loans for her education? (well, a woman who might have children don't really need any education except early childhood education as they shouldn't have a career under this philosophy.)
What if....? What if....? What if....?
ReplyDeleteIt's NOT good for your kids to be raised by anybody other than the parent (unless the parent is a fruitloop, and I admit it is becomeing more and more apparent we may be dealing with that here.)
Make excuses if it helps you continue to live in your oblivious little world.
But, it's NOT good for your kids.
You shouldn't do it unless you HAVE to.
I ahve a question for the nannies, or anybody who may have first hand experience:
ReplyDeleteDid anybody here see that movie "The Nanny Diaries?"
I know it was likely exaggerated (I hope it was anyway), but I am curious how common it is to see those types of mommys portrayed in the movie. The ones who do just have constant "me" time," all the while loving and wanting the best for her child too, but relying on somebody else to give it to him because she is so busy.
Perhaps it is different in different parts of the country?
I know there are all kinds of moms and all kinds of nannys and all situations are different. But do any of you ever encounter those kinds of parents in your job searches, or at a jobs you have worked?
Please read 11:06pm under the Princess Caraboo post. There are plenty of full time working Moms who prioritize their children over work and good professional nannies who support them. The bad posts on this site ARE the exceptions, rather than the rule, but discussing and exposing these exceptions is an important service. However, to the SAHM who have become so vocal in recent posts: Working Moms are not all either poor suffering martyrs forced to sacrifice their children's well being to make ends meet or selfish narcisists blind to their childrens' suffering at the hands of tyranical nannies. It is possible to have healthy happy children raised by caring attentive working parents partnered with a loving nanny. Plenty of working parents have successful careers and prioritize remaining actively involved in their childrens lives and upbringing over their careers.
ReplyDelete10:16- Exactly!
ReplyDeleteI am a nanny in the milieu The Nanny Diaries is set in. My charges go to a private school where the moms range from SAHMs who devote their time to caring for their families, to socialites who do charity work, to high powered professional women, lawyers, surgeons, writers and media names you would recognize. Most of them are good parents, and nice people. There are one or two in every class who might be referred to as a "Mrs. X.", (Yes, we nannies talk!) but they are the exception. Unfortunately, many on this site have a stereotype of very wealthy women based on movies, chick lit., and their imaginations.
ReplyDeleteThis Mom poster sounds fairly fanatical on this topic, and didn't soemone say she was admiring Ann Coulter all over her blog?? I personally suspect she may be the same poster who tried to turn the thread about the horrible nanny throwing a live goldfish into the trash into a debate on abortion.
ReplyDeleteEnough with all the silly stereotypes, this debate is getting tiresome and is mostly OT on this board anyway. Take it to the chatroom and duke it out!
You may have a point Cali Mom...even as a nanny-less SAHM, pro-life, animal lover, the abortion/goldfish deabte was just nutty. I never looked at her blog, but maybe.....
ReplyDeleteThank you 5:13 (4:13, Meme, here). That is kind of you to say. I also agree with your theory on focusing when you are a parent. Some parents do have an unhealthy attachment to their children that does not allow them to grow or be their own person at all.
ReplyDeletei guess this post is no longer about the neglectful nanny butrather about the self absorbed mothers (sah or not) who turn this debate into somthing about themselves rather than the child in this story. come on people.
ReplyDeleteI think "she should just stay home with her children" is the new "How do you know it was a nanny?"
ReplyDeleteI am so sick and tired of the whole working/sahm thing. Let's move on!
Working Mom, or SAHM, both can make really good parents. There's some creep out there that tries to start brainless debates.
ReplyDeleteBack to the nanny, lazy bitch indeed. How hard is it to open one's mouth and read a book to a child.
It's not meant to be a debate between working moms and stay at home moms. It's SUPPOSED to be about the children.
ReplyDeleteOnly when some people try to point out that it may not be in the BEST INTEREST of the children to pawn them off on a stranger all day everyday, some people get upset when it puts right in front of their faces what they are trying so very hard to justify away...that they are being selfish.
So it's not so much SAHM vs Working mom. It's about people's guilt flaring up when they are reminded that these things we read about here (common or uncommon--these things are happening to real children, every day)would not be happening--or at least would be happening with far less frequency--if parents raised their own children whenever possible. People get mad because they don't want to sacrifice for the sake of their children, and they for darn sure don't want anybody coming along and ruining all of their fun by making them feel guilty about it.
Hi 12:47am.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you consider to be the best interest of the children?
If I could find a loving nanny I would go back to work in a second. I've changed my life because I can't.
ReplyDeletedo all these posts turn into arguments between stay-at-homes v. workers?
ReplyDeletewhy can't we have more racism?
isn't it the fact that she's black the most important aspect of her lazy approach to child-rearing?
(I'm kidding).
My mother sacrificed and decided to be a bus driver while her three kids grew up, she had the same schedule as us, vacations, days off, etc. and was always there for us. When we were a bit more grown, all in high school, she decided to go and chase the career she wanted. Now she is extremely successful, all of us are out of college and she is a wonderful grandmother.
ReplyDeleteThere are ways to do both. Because of her I have learned how to do both with my son, he is never in the care of someone other than his parents (occasional visit with grandmother, uncles or aunts)--but on a daily basis is with mom and dad and we both get to work and have some "adult time".
But in the end, its each and every family's choice. Lets just hope each family makes the right choice for them. :)
Anyone want to hear what an 'expert' has to say about this issue and the racist/classist attitudes it spawns among Whites should read the sociologist Julia Wrigley's work. This issue is more complex than nanny.com would have us believe.
ReplyDeleteWHY ON EARTH IS THIS MOM vs MOM or MOM vs NANNY?
ReplyDeleteWhere is DAD?! He has no responsibility for child-rearing, child happiness, safe day care or safe nanny?
Honestly, its 2007!
poor little rich white boy. no love from mommy, no love from nanny. he should be playing with the other kids anyways.
ReplyDeleteI went on several interviews in Park Slope. They all looked to pay off the books, do housework in addition to childcare and offered less than 5 dollars per hour even though they could well afford more. One family balked at my going rate of 12 per hour for one child and told me It was more than double the going rate in town. Remember You get what you pay for parents!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, how many people are actually paying for professional nannies? Most of the nannies posted on here are probably the low cost caregivers average people hire.
ReplyDeleteA mom who absolutely has to work for financial reasons isn't paying the $40K to $50K per year cost of a truly professional nanny.
The nanny in this post sounds just like the daycare workers you see on Dateline undercover investigations. She's in it for the paycheck, and doesn't care at all about the child.
yes a dateline invvestigation.
ReplyDeletewould love chris hansen to meet and greet these phony nannies from the carribean who show up with their fake resumes and offer them to sit down and have some cookies. they won't say no. then chris hansen can tell them he has already checked the references and former employer #2 is her sister who she lives with and then point out that she didnt teach anything in jamaica because she only got through the 6th grade. oh love.
but back to Park slope employers. Say what you will, but we haven't paid $5 an hour since 1979.
Thank god for bad nannies. My wife stays home with my infant son, and gives him all the love and attention he deserves.
ReplyDeleteWhen my well-adjusted, confident son competes against your neurotic, self-doubting child; my son will wipe the floor with your kid, in academics and sports.
What the hell 2:28
ReplyDeleteYou post the same response to everything!!! I think I have seen your exact post on all of the postings. Give it up.
8:52 yes a dateline investigation would be great. Not just to catch the illegals, unexperienced, etc but to catch the parents that employ them.
ReplyDelete840 your knowledge of nannies from the caribbean is very limited i say. Most caribbean nannies are very educated, intelligent and kind people. There are a lot of nannies who love the kids as their own, but some some parents still think that we are in the days of slavery. We must cook, clean, iron and watch your kids for 10 to 12 hours without a break. Yet still you pay them little or no money for all this work they do. You need to research more and stop saying all nannies are not educated and dont know their jobs
ReplyDeleteWhere are these Caribbean nannies edjumucated at? Seriously? Entitlement University?
ReplyDeleteI think all of you guys who have the time to stop and look at what the nannies are doing should stay home and take care of your kids. Half the time you are the ones who can't even control these kids. Maybe instead of paying attention to the nannies do something constructive like teach the kids some manners and respect.
ReplyDelete