A Typical Tuesday

8:14—MB gives me my semi-weekly reminder to water down Lucy’s orange juice because she believes that her diaper rash is actually an allergic reaction to something, probably citrus. Unfortunately we cannot check the journal I have been keeping for patterns as MB has lost it.

8:19—MB closes the office door in Lucy’s face, saying she has to work. Lucy cries at the door for several minutes.

8:22—Lucy whines alternately at the back and garage doors, wanting to go play in the wet grass or with the leaf blower (a new obsession).

8:25—MB comes out of the office just long enough to remind Lucy that she is still here, then goes upstairs, where Lucy tries to follow her. I spend the next few minutes pulling her off the stairs, screaming.

8:32—Lucy runs around the house, only getting into the things she knows she is not supposed to. Just goes to one after the next, me telling her no each time.

8:48—MB calls me to the stairs, where she is standing on the balcony in a bra and a thong. She then throws a load of laundry over the edge for me to do. This reminds Lucy that her mom is still here, so I hold her screaming in one arm while I do the laundry with the other.

8:52—I tell Lucy we need to go change her diaper, MB immediately comes out of her room and meets us at the top of the stairs, where she takes her and changes her (because she still thinks her occasional diaper rash is somehow my fault).

8:53-9:20—MB tells Lucy that she can play in her room while she gets ready, so I spend this time constantly telling her not to play with the razors, get in the tub, try to plug in the straightener, etc. I also receive my daily chores—clean MB’s bathroom and do the laundry. I get to clean the bathroom “because she doesn’t want to waste her time doing it.”

9:22—She pulls together some things in her office, Lucy runs back and forth between the office (where she plays with her dad’s super expensive electric guitar and amp) and the kitchen (where she wants a bite of graham cracker).

9:26—She tells me to take Lucy upstairs to look for her phone “because it will be fun for her.”

9:28—She yells up the stairs to tell me her phone is actually downstairs.

9:30—She asks Lucy if she wants to walk her out to the garage (where the leaf blower is), she screams in my ear because she wants the leaf blower, she yells over her screams to add toilet paper stocking in all 3 bathrooms to my chore list.

9:35-9:50—She plays with something for 30 seconds, comes to table for graham cracker, plays for 30 seconds, comes to table for graham cracker, over and over (this is the only way she will eat.. Won’t eat anything if she is forced to sit and eat. She has to be moving around). This results in a disaster in the entire house.

9:55—She pulls out all of the pots and pans, drinks, and kitchen appliances she is able to access from “her cabinet” (which just has aprons and baby friendly things, but is under the island so is open to the rest of the locked cabinets under the island).

10:07—Lucy stops in her tracks, cries for no reason, looks at me, I raise my eyebrows a little, she stops and moves on to another toy.

10:18—I am sitting on a chair, Lucy is standing on my lap. She tries to climb over the back, I pull her down and tell her no. She does it again, I tell her no. She does it again, I tell her no and say that if I have to do it again I’ll make her get down. She does it again, I put her down. Immediately starts whining. After I don’t let her back up, she head butts the glass table because she is mad at me.

10:23—She has been out of the room for 10 seconds, so I follow into the other room. She is in the closet with the vacuum cord wrapped around her neck. I harshly tell her no and pull her out of the closet. She runs into another room and picks up the candlestick that is on the table at her level. I grab it and yell at her to stop.

10:32—She goes into the partially constructed wine cellar and opens the wine fridge, which is working and has bottles of wine in it (again, at her level on the tile floor). I tell her to close it, she closes and immediately opens again. I tell her to leave it closed, she shakes her head no.

10:39—Lucy starts whining and screaming because she is mad that my feet are on the ottoman instead of the floor.

10:49—MB decides to drop in to take some measurements for the living room remodel. Measurements that I have seen her take 3 times and that she has called and had me do twice. She leaves 20 minutes later, Lucy is pissed.

ISYN - A Day in the Life

11:34—Get to the library because I can’t handle it anymore. Find out that library doesn’t open until 12:30 today.

11:52—We go to lunch.

12:32—Put her down for her nap, she screams.

12:35—Empty dishwasher and reload with the dirty dishes that are filling the sink.

12:42—Pick up around the house.

12:50—Lucy falls asleep (in record time!)

12:52—Head upstairs to clean bathroom.

1:08—Go to the garage and get giant bag of toilet paper to carry around to restock the 3 bathrooms.

1:19—Take dog out to poop, clean up her poop.

1:23—Fold the laundry I have been doing throughout the day.

1:32—Do my daily chores of washing the high chair, scrubbing the grime off the table, and wiping down the counters.

1:39—Time for a break!

2:22—Lucy wakes up, crying frantically.

2:28—MB calles and I accidentally hit ‘reject’ on my phone. I call back immediately but get her voicemail. I wait less than a minute and try calling back again—she answers and is very concerned about me not answering the phone and makes a comment about me possibly talking on my phone. I then tell her about my plans for the afternoon for us to go to the library again and she says to hold off on that until another day because the gardener is coming today and she wants Lucy to be able to watch him. Even if the gardener is just across the street, she spelled out that she would like us to walk across the street and watch the gardener.

2:42—Get Lucy out of bed and change her diaper.

2:54—Lucy whines because she can’t reach her balloon.

3:01—Lucy is mad because she is sitting on the ottoman and her balloon is on the ground next to the ottoman.

3:04—Lucy wanders into other room and picks off part of the armoire and hands it to me with a smile and heads over to the other area of house with extensive non-babyproofed items on low tables.

3:08—She won’t stop pulling on the shutters and I manage to redirect her by having her go and find her juice.

3:09—She runs to the stairs and starts going up on her own. I tell her no, we have a stare-down until she finally says ‘mama?’

3:14—We sit down to color. I let her have 1 marker at a time, she tries to color without taking the cap off, I tell her to take it off, she scribbles a little, puts cap back on, and wants a different color.

3:17—MB calls and wants me to measure the current couches because she is at the store right now and needs to know. I measure, turn back around, and Lucy has colored all over herself, the table, and her high chair. I had tried to take the marker away before I walked to other side of the room, but she started screaming and her mom would have been highly concerned if she continued.

3:28—Another poopy diaper.

3:30—Lucy cries because she doesn’t want me to put another diaper on her, I once again explain that she has to wear them until she decides to potty train. She shakes her head no to this.

3:32—Lucy opens the drawer and pulls out the peeler.

3:34—Lucy opens the cupboard and starts pulling all of the food out of it.

3:35—I put her in her high chair and give her some crackers.

3:37—She has eaten all of the peanut butter out of them, wants more, I tell her no, not until she finishes what she has.

3:39—She wants down, I reach over to get her, she frantically grabs her remaining crackers to stuff into her mouth. So I leave her there and give her more.

3:45—Whines because she wants the tape measure, I make her say please, she goes and tries to measure the furniture.

3:48—Play with balloon on couch.

3:51—Lucy fake cries because she threw the balloon over the couch on purpose and the dog started smelling it.

3:53—She measures my body parts.

3:57—Teach Lucy the word “you.”

4:03—Head out to the backyard.

4:15—Sticks her arm in a puddle.

4:18—I accidentally peg her in the shoulder with a plastic baseball, she is so shocked that she doesn’t react, so I start to laugh and she does too. Then we run pretend bases together.

4:20—She starts to turn on the hose.

4:24—Started to pick a lime off the tree, I said no, picked it, I got mad, she tried to put it back, then gave up. Then picked another one.

4:37—Lucy listens the third time I tell her not to destroy the palm tree. Breakthrough!

4:40—I continue to attempt to teach her not to run while holding a stick.

4:58—Head home.

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