Received Friday, June 4, 2010
Update on the Best Way to Cut Ties.....
I gave my 4 week notice yesterday, and it did not go well... Mom berated me and told me I was selfish for not telling her I was looking, that I will have bad karma, and how I must not care about the kids at all.
The reason I gave was that I needed to attend school full time so I accepted a part time position.
Then she tried negotiating, offering to sign the car over to me, a raise, less hours, more time off, allowing my boyfriend to spend the night, etc. I told her it was non negotiable, which upset her more.
She just would not leave me alone all day. She kept pressing for more info until I told her why I was so unhappy. I told her most times I didn't want to be there In my time off, about how mean she was to me and how much it was affecting my life mentally and physically. She cried and appologized and keeps begging me to reconsider, but I reminded her that I'm also severely allergic to her 3 cats. She said she would change, and anything to keep me but I said no.
How can I get her to accept that I will not stay?
Honestly I would say thank you but it's final. Continue working and stay in a good mood until your 4 weeks is up. I would also pack now, just incase she goes psycho and tries something crazy.
ReplyDeleteHopefully she will learn her lesson and treat people better. As for karma hahaha I think the bad karma is on her end.
Make sure you get paid and if they try to screw you stick a golf ball in their car gas tank. It will plug the hole and cause the car to stall everytime they come to a stop. It will cost them a ton to get fixed. Or just report them to IRS.
Other then that enjoy your new job!
LOL Even though bostonnanny has a good Idea, dont do it. You could get in serious trouble for that. But do pack your bags now incase something happens and you need to leave pronto, I would also take any valubles you may have and keep them with your boyfriend or a friend or your family. Just incase she decides to lock you out or something like that.
ReplyDeleteForgot to mention that the golf ball will prob on fit in older cars but you can still use sugar which will ruin the filter and gas pump.
ReplyDeleteI think your boss is trying to manipulate you. You should absolutely avoid to get into an argument with her, you should not have to explain
ReplyDeleteyourself over and over again. Do not
try to get her to see your point of view. Just Repeat blandly that you have made your decision and that you need to go to school full-time. Also be prepared to be kicked out or shortchanged in some way or other. Good luck with these last few days.
How can you get her to accept it? Start packing.
ReplyDeleteStill won't accept it?
Move out sooner. Stay with friends or in a hotel if you have to.
STILL won't accept it?
Revoke your 4 week notice and give 4 hour notice...or however long it will take to get your stuff loaded on a U-haul...
You must be a good nanny for her to beg for you to stay and offer you all that incentive. But if you are unhappy stick to your guns. Life is too short.
ReplyDeleteIt's not your problem. End of story.
ReplyDeleteShe better find a new nanny before you're gone, if both parents work. But that is called HER problem.
First Mom tried the "guilt" tactic by trying to manipulate you, then she got desperate and tried to beg you to stay. Be careful for the last stage which will be anger. She may get psycho and do something else before you go. My gut tells me this won't be a nice clean break-up.
ReplyDeleteStick to your guns. It is great how you have already up to this point..some people would falter, esp. since she started weeping, but you didn't.
Best way to show her....---> Just walk out the door. Plain and simple.
she knows how to push your buttons - get out
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the boyfriend who gets dumped. He does anything and everything to get the girl back, just so HE can do the dumping.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have found a great job. Don't do anything punitive. You are better than that. You are the honorable one here. She got dumped. That's the best revenge. You already have everything you want. Good luck with you new job.
I would start moving out your stuff and living out of a suitcase, just in case her anger gets the better of her.
She sounds crazy. She will be in denial until the day you drive away. Don't put her on your referances
ReplyDeleteLook at a ping pong ball, and look at the opening to you gas tank and tell me how your getting that in there in the first place...
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't have said why. That said, there's nothing you should feel bad about. 4-weeks is awfully generous for someone who has been so mean to you.
ReplyDeleteyou can't. she is obviously insane. don't try to make her understand because you never will. give her a link to this website and we will all try to explain it to her.
ReplyDeletegood for you, honey! we are proud of you! xoxo
Haha, it seems like Ms. Phototron hit a snag after learning of the great ping pong ball trick....lol
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should've told her you her unhappy because she was mean. I think you should've just said: "Look, I am sorry you're not happy with my decision but it's final. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but right now, I need to focus on my studies."
ReplyDeletevanessa, I disagree. honesty is always the best policy. OP deserved to have her say. She said nothing out of line.
ReplyDeleteHa, my old boss is like that, too. Honestly, whenever she says something about it, I would respond with something like, "I will miss the kids terribly, but I've already made a commitment." That way, you can point out how very responsible you are to honor your commitments, while also reassuring her that you love the kids and bear them no ill will. As everyone else has said, start packing your stuff, because her behavior is kind of unpredictable.
ReplyDelete