Received Monday, December 1, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I messed up really bad today. I have been a nanny for a 3-year-old boy for about a year. He is sort of on the difficult side to take care of. His parents spoil him to no end and it's starting to reflect in his behavior. He doesn't listen very well at all and gets really upset whenever he doesn't get his way.
Well, today he had a huge temper tantrum of epic proportions while we were out and I could not get him under control. I tried everything I could. Then I did something I never thought I would do, I swatted his behind. No, I didn't have permission to do it. And yes, I feel horrible about it. I just lost my patience and made a big mistake and I wish I could take it back. I'm sure I will get flamed for this, and I know I deserve it, but my problem is, should I sit down with his mom and explain what happened? I know she doesn't know about it because I would have gotten a phone call by now. I'm afraid she will fire me over this and I don't want to lose my job. A part of me can't help but hope that the kid doesn't say anything about it, and I can just make it up to him somehow.
I'm not trying to make excuses, but I have so much going on right now. I know I'm not supposed to drag my personal life with me to work, but everything just kind of boiled over for me and I lost my cool. Please tell me what I should do?
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ReplyDeleteTell her. But keep your eye out for another job. I can't believe a parent wouldn't understand. We all lose our patience at times. Especially, if our kids act up.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you were in that situation. Although I'm sure you wish you could take back what happened I don't think its the end of the world and I don't think most reasonable parents would think so either. Either way why not sit down with mom/dad and talk about the way they would like you to handle his out of control tantrums. I have often been surprised with the degree of freedom alot of parents are comfortable with. Its not like you beat their child and it obviously sounds like you will never do it again unless the parents want you to. See how they think you should handle the situation then move from there. Just a suggestion.
ReplyDeleteWe all lose our patience, especially with tantrum-throwing kids. As your employer I would not think you were a bad person for this. The right thing to do would be to tell her what happened. However, be prepared to be fired. If you were my nanny and this was my child, I would honestly fire you. I was abused as a child, and from that made the decision to never, ever spank or swat my children. So if my nanny did so, she'd be out on her behind immediately.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I don't have any living children yet. Maybe my opinion will be different once I actually have children, but as of now this is my opinion.
I would tell the mom. I would much rather hear it from my babysitter than from my child. The parents might surprise you and say "good!" Did he stop having his tantrum? What is sad about your post though is that it wasn't done just to control the child but out of a lack of control. I have always been a proponent that a little spank never hurt anyone and that children should have a healthy fear of authority. But I guess this is evidence that too often it is done for the wrong reasons. Cut yourself a little slack. And don't pamper the boy with treats now. Explain that he was being very bad and that you had to control the situation and that you are sorry you spanked him and you hope he doesn't do it again. Maybe he will learn his lesson.
ReplyDeleteMy mother always said, "If you worry about it, you're probably ok. It's when you don't think twice about a swat or spank that there's a problem." I recommend telling Mom, she may understand, if she doesn't - then perhaps a less stressful situation will be good for you. Don't be too hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteI would tell her, she may not even care if they spoil the child the way they do. It seems like they would do anything to get him to do what they want. Also in my personal opinion I do not feel that a little swat ever hurt anyone. It is when it is a smack that is the problem. Now, was it a smack or a swat? There is a difference.
ReplyDeleteBut really just tell the parents, say it has really been bothering you and you could not control him. Be prepared for anything though. I do think you would feel much better if you told them.
So I have a question for you. Did he stop his tantrum?
ReplyDeleteSomeone above said that a little swat is ok if its controlled. Some might agree or disagree with that. Fact is, most people are likely angry when they spank their kids and it is thus not controlled at all and thus it hurts more than intended/needed perhaps. I'm guessing you where not in control by what you described.
Listen, you made a mistake because you had no permission to do so. If you where ok with it and parents told you to do so -it wouldve been a dif story.
Clearly they are not comfortable with it. Or they would be doing so themselves!
I disagree, don't tell them you will be fired for sure. There is no way they will trust you now. Rather find another job and leave. Or a dif profession!
Listen, I was spanked as a child. I turned out just fine. It made me listen to my parents. And it worked. I don't have a problem with it but you need to be respectful of the parents ways.
I once spanked one of my charges, he was 3 and a half at the time..he had ran off towards the street (his little brother following), once I reached him I swatted his butt and kneeled down to hug him and scold him at the same time. I was so afraid he was going to run out to the street. I told his parents "I spanked A today", not skipping a beat the mom said "Im sure he deserved it". I went on to explain, but she trusted me and I didnt even get all the details out, I was so glad I told her right away.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a pickle.
ReplyDeleteYou want to tell the parents only because the little boy might do so himself; well, that may likely happen, perhaps not tomorrow, but when something else happens that triggers that memory. It is because of this why it is important for you to tell the parents. Imagine 2 months down the road when you have long forgotten about it, it comes up. That can only spark distrust.
In other words she will feel that she would not have known had you not been found out.
On the other hand, if you tell her, you give yourself the power, this way you can word it right, catch her at the right time.That time might have been today when you saw her, but tomorrow may be just as good.
Like Janetenglish I too got spanked and I am just fine, but when you are dealing with other people's children your rules don't apply. A lot of parents are skittish about their children getting slapped/spanked etc;it is no small wonder that children often don't listen and will boldly do something you tell them specifically not to do.
I personally don't spank, but I find a firm talking to does the trick when they are acting stubborn. When I'm not playing, I'm not playing, but I give my charges lots of love, and they have come to expect both; a stern talking to, and loads of fun and laughter.
Either way you look at it, you have to tell them
Good Luck
Wow...what a catch-22 situation.
ReplyDeleteYou could take a chance and learn a lesson by it and hope the boy dosen't mention anything..thus saving your job. Or you could take another kind of chance and tell the mom and thus most likely lose your job. Depends on the type of parents they are. I am both a nanny and a parent. As a parent, if my child told me and the nanny did not, I would think it was 100x worse and not trust her, maybe even fire her. If the nanny told me herself, I would be okay...really. I used to spank my children when they were younger and I was spanked too. It isn't the physical stuff my parents did to me that I remember, it is more the emotional stuff they did that resonates more today as an adult.
As a nanny, I don't know what I would do. I know it is the right thing to do to tell the parents, but from a personal viewpoint..I am simply too scared to tell parents something like that for fear they may fire me, yell at me, sue me, etc.
It's your call OP.
OP - let us know what you decide and how it goes!
ReplyDeleteOP,
ReplyDeleteI would tell the parents. Better coming from you than the child and obviously he is old enough to communicate verbally what happened. The parents might not do anything. I spanked my charge before and as soon as I saw the mom that same day I told her first what he was doing and then told her I spanked him for it. She was okay with it. And by spank, I don't mean I hit him over and over again. I just gave him one spank on his behind and just hard enough that it got his attention, but he didn't cry. Anyway, back to the point, the mom just said to me "serves him right" and we all went out our day. It was never brought up again. Tell the parents yourself before the kid does. The mom will know she can trust you.
my employers tell me its okay to spank their kids...but I don't because I'm not comfortable with that myself. I have never been spanked in my life so thats probably why.
ReplyDeleteThe safety of the child is the first concern, always, always, always.
ReplyDelete(My husband and I have decided not to spank, but I would not fire you for spanking my kid just one time.)
If the child has horrible tantrums in public and won't listen, he is placing himself in danger through his behavior. If he ran away and didn't listen when you called, a predator could get him.
If he did stop the tantrum when you swatted him, then here's what you do.
You talk to the mom. You tell her, "Look, I don't know if he does this with you, or just with me because I'm the nanny, but Little Johnny has been having these truly frightening tantrums when we're in public.
I need you to help me work through how to manage this issue, because recently he had one that got so bad I felt I had no option but to give him a little spank, and I don't believe in spanking other people's children.
Please tell me what you do if you've seen this behavior, or let's work together on a reward/consequence system, because obviously this behavior is not safe, and clearly it's going to take us working as a team to get it under control."
I heard the funniest thing the other day... I was talking to one of my friends who child had tantrums. Then one day she lost it... they were in Target and her son starting having a tantrum (really really bad) then out of no where. She yells " Hey everyone look! my son is having his best tantrum ever, everyone pay attention at watch!) Her kid had the deer in the headlights look and ran up to her and wouldn't let go of her leg. Man was she embarassed but she snapped.
ReplyDeleteOP - I think that you snapped, which isn't uncommon for anyone to do. You should tell the mother what happened and explain that this is not how you would want to discipline your charge and let her know that the both of you should work out a way to deal with his tantrums. It wasn't your kid and you didn't have permission... that in itself does warrant an explanation to the mother.
OP, you have nothing to feel bad about.You acted appropriately. A 3 year old child is MUCH too old to be having a tantrum such as you described. Complaining when they don't get their way? Yes. A full on tantrum. NO
ReplyDeleteThis child should have been spanked long before this by those responsible for his current behavior~~~~his Mom & dad.
When he is in Kindergarten and behaves like a well mannered little boy, he will have you to thank. Good Job!
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ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting discussion. I'm a mom, and tend to think that the moms on this forum take a harder line than I typically do. In this case, though, I have to say that 1. the OP should tell the mother before the kid or someone else does AND 2. the relationship between the nanny and the family should come to an end. I actually think that if a nanny said to me, "Your kid was having a huge tantrum and I tried x, y and z to control the situation. These efforts failed and so I decided a swat on the bottom was the right approach," I would be ok with it, even though we don't use spanking and have been clear that we don't want our nanny to. But, that's not what happened in this case - this is a case of an adult losing control with a child, which would make me really nervous. I think there's a big difference between losing your temper (impossible to avoid when you spend long days with young kids, especially difficult ones!) and losing control (doing something you didn't mean to do).
ReplyDeleteAs a mom, I don't think I could get past that. As a person, I think that the nanny who posted this should probably move on to a different situation, anyway, and everyone will be happier in the end.
Yes, look for a family that doesn't raise a spoiled brat. Move on to a new situation where the kids are going to be taught respect.
ReplyDeleteYeah, all kids have tantrums and can be bratty. Thats normal. But it sounds like this is the norm for this child. Everyday!
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteyou need to talk to the mom. tell her what you posted on here, maybe re-word the part about the kid being a brat ;-)
It sounds like he needed a a swat on the bottom, but as a nanny may not be allowed to do that. Be honest. You may get fired , but its better that they here it from you. If the little boy says anything it may sound like you are "hiding" something and it could get blown out of proportion. Good luck.
I'd fire you. Period. I can't believe so many of you would condone not only striking someone's child without permission, but also lying to conceal it. It reminds me why I no longer post here and keep your company.
ReplyDeleteHee-hee. Good riddance!
ReplyDeleteSometimes a idle threat works better than a bum swat: 'Don't make me break my foot off in your ass!'
ReplyDeleteYup you made a mistake. It takes a big person to admit a mistake. I am not sure if you should tell mom or not, not sure if I would. It is not a terrible thing to give a little swat but you may want to make a list of other ways to get things under control and take a look at them when you feel that way again. It will give you a minute to calm down too.
ReplyDeleteWhen faced with a tantrum I always just left the room the kid was screaming in. I know they can follow but just keep moving away. It is ok for them to express their feelings through crying and yelling, you do not have to listen to it. It is ok to tell mom that you missed a class or playdate because her child could not calm down and you decided to wait it out. You may want to set the rules for him before hand, "little boy, if you have a fit we will not leave the house until you calm down and you will not get what you are asking for, you will get sent to your room to cry alone."
I bet the first bithday party or special trip he misses will have more of an impact then a swat.
You have to tell the mother. The boy will eventually tell her and she is going to fire you when he does. Not because you spanked her son, but because you did something you deemed bad enough to keep from her. I would wonder what other physical consequences are being dished out without my awareness.
ReplyDeleteI would fire you for that. I would not fire you for spanking my son.
If they would fire you for giving their kid a little swat on the ass, then you don't need them. I think all kids should be spanked. Who are we kidding with time outs, and positive reinforcement. Sometimes a kid just needs a good hand to the ass. If more people would spank, we wouldn't have to deal with their mouthy, spoiled, bratty kids.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of times people spank because they don't know what else to do. 3-year-olds are famous for their tantrums and it usually happens when they're over-tired or being rushed. If you are out someplace and this happens, leave and let the child finish the tantrum in the car. After they are DONE, then you can drive home. If you are home, you could put the child in their room until they are done having the tantrum. I used to have to sit outside the door and hold the door shut until the child settled down. Afterwards, nurturing, possibly food, and very likely a nap are in order.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a plan you can be a lot more patient and not feed into the tantrum by being upset. Then you are less likely to spank out of frustration. And you should NEVER spank someone else's child no matter what. Good luck! A hard lesson to learn.
A child can express emotions without it having to be in a tantrum form. I am never going to allow my children to scream there heads off in public like a brat. That is not flying in my house and nor should people have to listen to that- its rude and irretating.
ReplyDeleteYou can express sadness and frustration as a child in a respectful manner by using appropriate words and if you are a good parent - teach your child that and give them the tools to do so. I only threw a tantrum once as a child and my mom made sure that never happened again my teaching me how to communicate my frustrations right after she spanked me for behaving that way.
I actually new of a teacher who taped a first graders mouth shut once. That didn't work out so well for her because the kid had a cold and couldnt breath through his nose.
Rude and irritating indeed. Once in a food court I saw a stranger reach over and pop a tantruming kid's balloon with his cigarette!
ReplyDeleteSad clown, that is as funny as the mom who loudly proclaimed, in one of the above posts, that her child was throwing a tantrum and everyone should look at him.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong, I wasn't condoning it. It was amusing, I admit, but only in that I-know-its-mean-to-laugh kind of way. Like seeing someone fall.
ReplyDeleteI don't condone spanking at all, but I do understand reaching your limits with a child that is out of control. I blame the parents who spoil their kids too much with letting this behavior go unchecked. However, you need to tell them what happened. If it comes from the kid first, it may not bode well for you.
ReplyDeleteIf you think it's appropriate to hit someone else's child then you have no business working with young children. It sounds like a lot of you should be reported on ISYN rather than posting here. Jane must be so proud of what she's created. Congrats, Jane. All the fun, intelligent people have fled the coop and you're left with dumb asses like (Someone Should Give You) A Spank A Day and Someone's (Stupid) Nanny.
ReplyDeleteI was raised with a nanny who was with our family for over 10 years and she never used corporal punishment on us. I now have had only one nanny for our son for about 2 years and the first rule we laid down was absolutely no physical discipline under any circumstances. If you worked for me I would fire you. Sorry. I know you feel bad about what happened, but that is my honest answer.
ReplyDeleteDamn
ReplyDeleteI will take it that you are NOT one of the intelligent people of whom you speak that has flown the coop. Otherwise, your dumb ass would know that Jane has no control over what these posters think and feel. All she chooses to do is allow everyone a platform for their opinion, and not censor them for it. You my friend, are a verifiable idiot.
Well, I'm with those who say definitely tell the mom, because the boy is bound to if you don't, and if she finds out from him that not only did you swatted him, but tried to hide it, she'll probably be much more upset about it than if you told her yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think JustAMommy's approach would be great, but if the parents are as ineffective as you say at teaching him appropriate limits, they may not give a crap about his tantrums and that might be reason enough for you to look for a new job, even if they aren't too upset about the spanking.
Sad clowm, that's hilarious. Did the kid stop tantruming, out of surprise, or did it upset them even more?
Uglies, you must not have been spanked enough, because YOUR comment is truly ugly. And Someone's nanny, you're a crappy nanny if you can't even teach a child appropriate behavior without resorting to physical violence at the drop of a hat. Yes, a child may go silent because they are afraid their caregiver will hurt them and humiliate them, but it does nothing to teach them WHY the behavior is not acceptable, or better ways of expressing their feelings if someone just hits them every time they start to get upset about something.
The best way to deal with a tantrum in public is to very calmly, physically remove the child from the setting (take them outside the store, or to a less crowded part of the playground, etc.), wait for them to stop screaming, while physically preventing them from running, throwing, etc (any potentially dangerous activity), then firmly explain to them WHY the behavior is unacceptable, and what the consequences are or will be next time for the behavior (loss of privileges or toys), and then some consoling hugs. Above all, prevention is better than a cure. Don't drag a child who is prone to tantrums shopping or on errands if they are hungry or tired, and bring snacks and toys for them. Seriously, anyone who claims that timeouts and loss of privileges are innefective is just too lazy to take that approach and prefers to just stick out their hand and hit someone.
Bunnyjones:
ReplyDeleteAnd just what would you do if every nanny decided that a swat on the behind is appropriate at times when a child's safety might be compromised/
I guess you'd just have to stay home then. Why is it parents feel that it is hard for nannies to find new jobs. It is not. There are always families out there needing service. So don't think that people are just dying to keep the job that you have created. There are a lot of sane families out there who understand that a 'swat' is not meant to hurt a child, but rather to get their attention.
And the the person who is likening a 'swat' to corporal punishment, what the hell, corporal punishment, this cannot even compare.
I agree with posters who know that sometimes kids that swatted even once account for all the bratty kids that nannies sometimes refuse to take care of. So travel on your high horse miss bonnie and the rest of you, the only nannies you will get are the riff raff left who are desperate for a job, and the dishonest nanny who will not give you full disclosure concerning your kids. Pick your choice.
If this employer was the least bit sane, this nanny would not be scared to give full disclosure, see what's happening here. Think about that.
You have no idea if your nanny swats your kids, and by the sound of it you will never know.
Another thought: 3 years old is not too old for a stroller or a grocery cart, and I used to tell my little guy, at the first sign of him not staying near me/following my directions, getting too noisy, etc, that if he was going to behave badly he would have to stay in the stroller or grocery cart instead of being able to walk around like a big kid and look at stuff with me. He never threw a fuss in a store ever. It can also work wonders,if the stroller is available, to ask a child who is starting to get fussy, if they'd like to sit down in the stroller and have a snack/drink/nap, whatever might alleviate their stresses. Much better than reaching the end of your rope and swatting at a child out of sheer frustration and inability to "get their attention" by any more reasonable means, as high horse nanny advocates.
ReplyDeletesilly moms on high horses,
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty of us working as nannies who are knowledgeable about child development, and able to deal with tantrums and teach our charges socially appropriate ways to handle frustration and postponed gratification without hitting them.
I would not work for a family that condoned hitting a child, and all the children I've cared for have blossomed into kind, happy well mannered little people.
OP,
ReplyDeleteI want to add that my above post is not directed at you. I have never been in a position like yours. I have always been fortunate in that the parents considered us a team, so we were always on the same page re discipline.
I hope by now you have spoken to your employer. Please update us.
Calimom please read this.
ReplyDeleteBecause a parent or caregiver chooses a different method of discipline besides that of timeouts does not make them lazy.
Would you agree that every child who is not potty trained by two has lazy parents?
Using that anology to make a point and not to start a debate.
Point is Calimom,just because it works for you does not mean it works for everyone. You should not be so quick to slap labels
(and I quote "just too lazy to take that approach" end quote)
on parents that differ from you.
You got all ove a poster for that once when she declared parents with 2 yr olds still in diapers were lazy parents. I remember it clearly.
Every parent is different just as every child is different. Lets give parents the benefit of the doubt and trust that they know what kind of discipline their child best responds to and learns from.
You will not convince me that a child "learns" valuable lessons from being hit by their caregivers every time they begin to express frustration or test boundaries. Hit your own kids if you want, and hope they don't look on you with disdain in their adult life, and tell yourself you did what was best for them, but it still means you CHOSE not to take the more difficult approach involving patience and communication.
ReplyDeleteOP,
ReplyDeleteI would follow Just A Mommys advice. I love the way she phrased the potential conversation you had with the mom. It focuses more specifically on the bigger issue (that the two of you ought to work as a team on getting his behavior in line), while still disclosing to her what you absolutely have a duty to tell her (that you spanked her child.) Whatever the consequences, common decency and your sense of integrity demand that you come forward.
Learn from this and never hit somebody else's child, under any circumstances...even if they tell you to. Not only is is wrong to do so IMO, but it opens you up to possible legal difficulties in the future if they somehow decide you have acted excessively in your coproral punishment. What better defense is there to an abuse claim than having NEVER LAID A HAND ON THE CHILD? You must make sure you possess the ability to control yourself before you continue this job, or take another nanny job. (But it sounds to me like you know you did wrong, are sorry, and won't be doing it again.)
If it were me, I would not fire you for one spanking IF it was light, you came to me immediately afterward, and I believed it was an isolated incident. If my child told me first, there would be no possible room for discussion and you would be fired because I would no longer trust you and wonder what else you had done that he hadn't yet told me. But I had only three people I used for regular babysitters...excluding good friends and family. I trusted them completely and knew their character enough to know that if they came to me with such a disclosure that they would have been sorry and remorseful. But I would still probably have told my kids after that to be sure to tell me if babysitter ever spanked them again...just to be sure.
Let us know what mom says when you tell her.
Janet English,
ReplyDeleteI am laughing here? Do you have any kids yet...ones that have attained the age of two or older?
Because my kids were also perfect and 100% public tantrum free...in my mind...before they were born! HEHEHE
My kids were very, very good kids, but we had a major melt down at Disneyland one afternoon and another at a mall, and one at the swimming pool. Thank goodness that's it. The first two were when my sister was with me. She suggested that we sit down, act calmly and wait him out. So we did. (It wasn't crowded where we were at the mall so it wasn't too bad on the bystanders. The few that happened by seemed more amused than anything.)It was funny because when he was done, he got up and was done. At Disneyland I said, we'll wait here on the bench and when you're all done we can start walking to Dumbo...or whatever ride we were on our way to when he had his meltdown. Then I tried to look disinterested in his antics. Very shortly, he was through...having, once again...not accomplished getting whatever treat he had thought the tantrum might win for him...and we went on our merry way. (I firmly believe that NOT GIVING IN is imperative to preventing a continuing pattern of tantrum behavior. And I think that not giving them a bunch of attention for their undesirable antics also helps them realize that its an inneffective method of getting moms attention.)I think I asked him if he had been embarrassed to act so badly in public. The third one was my other son...who was normally a completely compliant child. He wanted ice cream at the pool and I said no. He began to wail. I was totally in shock because it was so unlike him, so I should have known something was up. But I sat him in a chair and said he could go swimming again when he finished crying. He cried for an excessive amount of time, which finally made me realize he was just overwrought and tired, so we went home for a nap and all was well. (It not so easy to go storming home at the first sign of difficulty when you have other children enjoying the same activity who are behaving nicely and don't deserve to be punished along with the misbehaving kid, so I had to weight things more carefully as more kids came into the picture.)
But Janet, if you don't have kids yet, you will be laughing at your own comments one day. My husband and I have had many a laugh at our "our kids will never act like that" comments. Oh, we had all the best parenting strategies lined up to prevent those events well in advance..but every kid is different, and what works for one may not work for another...or may work for another but be too crushing to his spirit. A lot of it is trial and error dear, and taking into account each kid and his personality very, very well.
I know that when I'm feeling teary and irritable, what really makes me pull myself together is when someone 3 times my size gets angry and hits me. I don't need to be treated like ahuman being or anything. Goodness knows that 42 is old enough to have had all semblance of emotion whacked out of me.
ReplyDeleteSome of you seriously sound like such complete jerks.
97/04.Most parents realize the difference between a tired child who is melting down and a child that is simply disobeying because he can. Get a grip!
ReplyDelete97/00/04, EXACTLY.
ReplyDeleteNameless, you are probably not one of them. WHACK
Bitches, please. There is a simple solution here. Always be sure your kids are dressed iron underoos - spank proof!
ReplyDeleteMom, I'm not saying my child wont throw a tantrum. I am saying that those parents who have those out of control kids and let there kids scream bloody murder at age 10 in a restaurant..... that won't fly in my house.
ReplyDeleteI am sure my kid will throw a tantrum for sure but not past a certain age. And if they try their asses will regret it. That's my opinion.
And if I am ever stupid enough to smoke and some little brat throws a tantrum in my company, I might just pop their balloon with it too. :)
Oh,ha-ha-ha you are so clever and funny. Wait let me pee my pants cause that was just the most clever post ever!!!
ReplyDeleteCALIMOM Do you know me?
I don't think so.
My comment was to one specific poster and it was not you.I gave an opinion.I did not call names and was not rude. I did not come here to be harrassed by the likes of you or anyone else.
Take your rude comments elsewhere.
If 04 has something to say to me they are capable of doing so without a super oober mommy butting her nose in with her usual nasty,know it all remarks.
You don't spank. You are better than all of us who do.You are prettier and nicer too.Your boobs are bigger,your ass is rounder and your shit does not smell.
There your ego has been inflated.
Now,if I throw a stick will you Please go the hell away!
I agree that every child/parent/nanny are different. One thing that worked with my children and is starting to work with my grandson who is 2, is to NEVER give in to whining or tantrums. If we were at home, they were placed on their beds until they could calm down. If we were in public, we found a place to sit calmly until they were over it. I once drove them 17 miles to a walmart for a treat -- they pitched a fit in the car over one having a five-dollar bill and the other having five one-dollar bills (they were 4-5). After calmly explaining didn't work, and it escalated, I took both their money and drove 17 miles back home. They're grown now and we went to walmart last year and i handed them the same arrangement of money. My son said, ok sis, we can't fight or mom will take it and we'll have to go to granny's house. Long story for a short point. save swat/spank for SERIOUS life-threatening stuff and use consistency the rest of the time.
ReplyDeleteSuch a bunch of self righteous people here,
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you all raised perfect kids.
The brats all belong to someone else, right.
Kids were never spanked years ago, and turned out fine and well adjusted, and these spankless kids are dream kids.
What a big hoot. THese kids are the worst in the history of mankind, I wonder why, because parents have become idiots, running around like chickens with their heads cut off, letting their children rule them and bargaining with them as if they were their peers, well now, isn't that why your kids are so wonderful.
Now I will say some children are indeed little angels, whether that has to do with genetics or whatever disciplinary method worked worked well, but the fact is that children differ, and not all methods work for each child. Your degree should have taught you that manhattan nanny.
Good for you you got angels to take care of, may the good lord bless you with a real brat next time., then maybe your horse won't be so high, that is if I truly believed that every child you ever worked with became blah blah blah, oh barf. Most of you are liars.
As for the legal ramifications of spanking (and I'm not saying to spank someone's child) it's all crap, another reason why this country is full of self indulgence, and criminals. you all created them.
I'm just saying that you all should get off your high horses. You all helped to create the mess of kids we have today, well most of you, not all.
Damn right about one thing - kids today suck ass.
ReplyDeleteWell nameless, given your issues with anger management, we can all understand a bit better why you are so prone to smacking little children around if the arrangement of one of their eyebrow hairs is not to your liking.
ReplyDeleteFYI hon, this is a PUBLIC board. That means YOU get to post, and I or anyone else who wants to can respond to YOUR post. Get it? Now go kick something and punch your baby doll until you can find your happy place again.
Nameless/whatever, keep kicking and punching. I can see you're not there yet. But I'm sorry your children are so difficult for you. Did they inherit your mental problems?
ReplyDeleteChildren? what children? I don't have children I was talking about yours, you know the one we'll soon hear about on the news robbing a bank, committing white color crimes all because of that feeling of entitlement.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, we'll hear about him soon enough, you mark my words.
Then we shall see exactly whose mental problems he inherited, mine or yours. At least if it's mine there's still hope.
Perhaps you'll trash his behind then?
whatever/nameless, I'm so relieved to hear you haven't spawned. Thanks for responsible in that respect. But does that mean it's other people's children you like to smack around?
ReplyDeleteAnd I take it you meant white collar crime?
Make that "being responsible".
ReplyDeleteI am an immigrant. I was raised in a country, where swatting on the butt is nothing. I never ever hit the kids I take care of...but my parents smacked me, and I do not hate them for that. In fact, I deserved it and some more every time I got hit. My mom and dad are the best parents in the world. Again, I would never hit somebody's child, but yea, sometimes a kid just neeeeds one upside the head.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure why you are writing 'whatever/nameless' we are not the same person I can assure you.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I meant 'white color crimes'
Do you have a problem with that, or must I say 'white color crime' to suit you?
White color crimes as in the adjective form and not white color crime as in the noun. Got it? good
Now crawl back to your little hole, unless there is some other error you'd like to point out.
I love it that when people on here can't find anything to fight with (footless) they start to pick on english/grammar, I assume as a way of saying. You are a dunce, I know better than you. It's funny, really.
Well, not only are you crazy, prone to violence, and dumb as a stick, you're also ignorant. What a surprise!
ReplyDeleteSo please explain this little term that you have personally coined "white color crime", since you are the only person who knows its definition. Just for laughs.
hey there OP,
ReplyDeleteif you're still reading this...i think you are being really hard on yourself. there's no reason to punish yourself or feel guilty. i know you feel bad because he wasn't your kid. but you know you are not the root of the problem.
for your own happiness, i would think about looking for a job where the parents are better, and consequently, the child is better.