Received Thursday, October 9, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I've been a nanny for the same family for over a year now. I get along very well with both of the parents and the children that I watch. In general, I've been accepted as another member of the family. Monetarily and benefits have been overly compensated, and I get 2 weeks vacation each year.
My family is currently trying to plan our Christmas vaca (we're pretty large, so we plan far in advance.) I brought this up to my employer the other day and asked her if she happened to know what their plans are. We sat down to look at a calendar together, and she informed me that the week b/w Christmas and New Year, they'll be at their second home. She told me I could leave Christmas Eve (Wed.) and then come back in that Sunday. I've been asked to fly into that city and stay with them there after Christmas. Meaning, they'll go up the weekend after Christmas and stay until the weekend after NY (NY falls on a Wed (Eve) and Thursday (New Years Day) this year.) As you can imagine, I don't want to spend my New Years away from my friends, who are already making big plans. She told me that she wanted me to come, and in a joking sense, said I had no more time off.
Let me say here that I am not allowed to use my 2 weeks of vacation whenever I want. I'm forced to use them at the families convenience. So the fact that I got those two weeks off in August, to me at least, has nothing to do with my getting off for the holidays. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Last year I got an entire week off for Christmas and New Years, due to the days of the week they fell on. This year, b/c they're midweek days, I would actually be taking off a week and a half if I had both Christmas and NYE off and didn't go with them to their 2nd home. I do NOT, under any circumstance, want to be cooped up in a town I don't know over New Years. To me, it doesn't make much sense for them to bring me up there for all of 3 days. She told me we'd talk about it more later. I know that they really don't need my help, but she just doesn't want to give me a week and a half off paid (which I honestly understand.) I need help on what to do!
As employers, what are you looking at doing this holiday season? How do you generally handle this odd timing, especially if you want to take your nanny with you? And nannies, what are you getting? What has been the norm in the past?
It seems to me that if the problem is giving you PAID time off, and spending the holiday with your friends and family is important to you, then you should offer to take the time off unpaid.
ReplyDeleteI agree with my2cents. If getting paid is the issue, ask to take that time off unpaid. If you have no more paid time off, it is fair of her to not expect you to have anymore paid time off.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others. You should be paid on the holidays but offer to take time w/o pay for the other few days.
ReplyDeleteI got 2 1/2 weeks PAID off last year, and I suspect this year will be close to the same.
ReplyDeleteNo No No. Nanny gets two weeks paid vacation of her Own Choosing! Then, if the family decides to take more time away, the nanny still gets paid for that time off, even though you may have to swing by the house to get the mail, feed the fish, etc.
ReplyDeleteThey're taking advantage of you.
duh! why didnt i think of that?! now the question is, what days should i expect to be paid? she already offered for me to go home wed-sund. so im thinking i should just ask for that monday, tuesday, and wednesday unpaid. they would normally give me new years and the day after. does that sound fair??
ReplyDeleteYour situation totally sucks and I feel for ya. I'm a nanny and although my pay is only so-so, my benefits rock. I get unlimited (within reason) sick days, all major holidays, 3 weeks vacation (whenver I want) and 5 weeks vacation when the family is on vacation (and yes, this time is all PAID!)
ReplyDeleteYour contract, if you have one, should state that you get paid vacation days of your choosing plus paid days off whenever the family doesn't need you. For instance, this holiday season, I get from Dec. 20th - Jan. 2nd paid time off, since my family is going on vacation. (After all, I couldn't afford to take that much time off, so my family doesn't think that it's fair to penalize me by not paying me only because THEY chose to go on vacation.)
About you going on vacation with them - ultimately you shouldn't have to travel with them, unless it was your prior agreement that you would take vacations with them. Overall, it doesn't seem like your family is very compassionate or fair. After all, of course people want to be with their own friends and family during the holidays! However, it sounds like you'll probably have to travel with them if you wanna keep your job...
If you get paid Christmas off and NYE off (if that was the deal anyway) then anything else should be taken off unpaid....It may not be fair but unless you have worked something out prior to this, work is work... As with any other job...I have it in my contract I get Christmas eve and Christmas and New Years Day, paid off. The people I work for work regular jobs, so I am their only child care provider. They dont get a bunch of paid days off during the holidays so what else would they do with the kids? I am taking the Friday off after Christmas unpaid but I have already told my boss so she can arrange something with the kids. Its hard to be away from family and friends during Christmas time but most people do just work thru it.
ReplyDeleteOP, don't you get national holidays off?!?
ReplyDeleteTell them that you'd love to be with them, but you of course have New Years Eve plans, so they'll need to pay for a flight home and then back on New Years Day.
I had the same problem in August. I asked for the additional time off unpaid. They gave me the time off and when I got back they paid me most of my normal salary, which was really nice. If you really want it, ask for them to just not pay you.
ReplyDeleteThese kinds of issues should be spelled out explicitly in your work agreement. IF they aren't, you might not get off the days you want this year, but can negotiate to get everything in writing for next year.
ReplyDeleteWe give our nanny off Xmas day and NY Day. She gets 2 weeks paid vacation a year, one of her choosing and one of ours, and 5 sick or personal days. If she wants off other days around Xmas, I would try to accomodate that, but if I am working would not be able to do so fully. I also would not be able to just offer unpaid time off either. If I am working, I need my nanny there and can't automatically give unpaid days. Of course, I would try my best to work things out so we are both happy, but unfortunately can't always do so perfectly. I know it sucks to work around the holidays, but many of us do so. I have to work NY Eve and the day after Xmas, so will need my nanny to work also. Other days I could be flexible about, but I get my work schedule 3 months in advance (and offer ahead of time for her to tell me which days she needs off before I schedule my work).
So from an employer's perspective, I would expect you to adhere to our work agreement barring extreme circumstances. I know it is not great to work around the holidays, but unfortunately many of us have to do so at times. If these days are super important to you, I would ask, but not expect them off unless that is your agreement. Next year, however, I would make your requests explicit at annual raise time and negotiate those days off into your contract.
Thanks so much for all of your input. Here are a few more details!
ReplyDelete-For the record, and I know I'm going to get slaughtered for this, I do not have a contract. I am, for the record, paid on the books though. However, we had initial agreements, and holidays were not mentioned at all. Last year when we initially discussed them she agreed to give me the entire week b/c she would be home.
- This year they will be around as well. As I mentioned, they will be at their second home, and not working. So work is not an issue. They don't even NEED me, I just know she wants me there b/c of the paid time off situation.
- To reiterate- I have off Christmas Eve, Christmas day, and the day after, plus my normal weekend. It's the week of New Years that's giving me the problem. I get New Years Day, but nothing else, even though they will be around....
they are aren't required to give you off just because they are off work. maybe they just want a break, a few days to sleep in late, a little luxury babysitting. i just don't think you should automatically get off work because they are off.
ReplyDeletesounds like having off ny eve is really important to you and going back/forth to their second home is doable. so offer to work the weekend after christmas and see if they'll take that in exchange for giving you off ny eve and ny day. you need to make some sort of concession in this case in my opinion.
If your basic agreement with them is that you get 2 weeks off paid, and you got 2 weeks off paid in August, I don't see where they are required to give you more time off paid. Asking them for those last few days unpaid might solve your problem, but in a way, some of these comments remind me of one of my college roommatesmany years ago. I worked retail so had to work Christmas Eve till the store closed, and again the day after Christmas. He meanwhile was complaining about how his company was "forcing" him to take 2 weeks off because they were closed some of the time but he was only getting paid for 10 days of the time. Cry me a river Buddy!
ReplyDeletewhen I was nannying for the first family I nannied for, I did not have a contract and they did not give me any time off, they under paid me and they took advantage of me beyond beleif, I was going through a lot then in my home life so I let them walk all over me (I felt I had bigger problems) but now I realize that with the family I nanny for now, how much it helps to have a contract and to stand up for yourself so you're not walked all over on.
ReplyDeleteI would ask your employer about holidays and their veiws and work from there
I agree with everyone positing an unpad time off. Or deal with it for this year. For me personally, the older I get, the more I realize NYE is not as big a deal as it is cracked up to be! But, if it is important to you-- ask if you can take it unpaid! Good Luck and cheers :P
ReplyDeleteBlahhh, I hate NY's!! Most over-rated holiday ever! No cabs, overcrowding and paying a cover to get in a place I would normally get in free. Who needs it??
ReplyDeleteBut to each their own and I digress! Doesn't anyone else think OP's employers sound a touch cheap/petty? If they can afford to have a nanny around when they don't need her they can afford to give her a few extra paid days off, especially in light of not allowing her the vacation time of HER choice throughout the year. Not having this spelled out explicitly in a contract is no excuse for taking advantage. So, OP, I think your employers are being unfair to you but if the money is their main concern, then yes, asking for the days off unpaid should do it.
11:14..how are the employers being unfair expecting her to work when she is being paid? My employers often have me there when they are home so they can get some things done and I can play with the kids. Parents can also want to relax on their time off while their kids are being played with or doing crafts. Whether people have money or not..work is work. If someone is paying you its not up to the nanny to decide if the parents need you or not.
ReplyDeleteI was taking the nanny's assessment at face value that they didn't need her help and were just rankled by having to pay her for nothing. I.e. if what the nanny is saying is correct, then perhaps they should show some darn holiday spirit!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously WTF...since when does anybody who works for a company have to take thier time off when it works for the boss?? Really? Why is it always nannies that have to have their free time when it works for the family...I say screw off 2 friggin weeks in a 52 calendar year???? and I can't even pick...who the fuck are we kidding? No nanny should ever schedule their life to the bosses liking when you get a whopping 2 weeks a year off...No nannies should stand for this anymore! No way would any of my nanny families have told me when I could take off...this is just insane to me!
ReplyDeletein your world Mimi. Every job I've ever had in several large corporations required me to get approval for vacation time. I had to request the dates and coordinate them with my coworkers, making sure we did not overlap and that our projects were covered while we were away (I'm sure you also arrange all your own nanny coverage during your vacation, right?). You must have pretty amazing luck if you get to stipulate your vacation without regard for anyone else or the needs of your supervisors/coworkers. And many, many, many jobs give only two weeks vacation a year. My parents are both "blue collar" professionals and two weeks vacation a year is standard. In higher level jobs, people do sometimes get 4 weeks, but it's not like that's standard for the majority of working folks.
ReplyDeleteAlmost everyone I know who works in some sort off office setting gets more than 2 weeks off per year. Three to four is more normal, when you factor in the holiday season holidays etc. It usually increases the longer you've been at a particular company. Where I work, there are some employees in clerical jobs who have been there so long they literally have 1.5 - 2 months. I work in an educational setting, so perhaps it is different in the corporate world. But within reason generally you would schedule your holidays around deadlines, major projects, etc. but not to the extent that your employer is dictating when it is 'ok' to go. It more like you have in mind roughly when you want to go and then work/plan around that. There are workplaces that are more enlightened and don't make employees subordinate their lives to the job.
ReplyDeleteSo I totally get why Mimi is so mad. I think nannies can get awfully taken advantage of (as do some corporate employees by the sounds of it!). And Must Be Nice, arranging your own nanny coverage????? This floored me. Is this normal?? If it is it certainly shouldn't be!
For the record, I asked for unpaid vaca days off.
ReplyDeleteAs I suspected, I was correct! She was only concerned about giving me a few extra days off. When I suggested it, she immediately agreed.
It was a relief on my part, but it also opens my eyes a bit about her attitude to me.
Must be nice, thank you! I was going to say exactly that. And PBP, do I remember correctly that you are not in the U.S.? There is absolutely NO comparison between average jobs in the U.S. and other countries.
ReplyDeletetrue, true. Sorry, didn't realize it was SO different.
ReplyDelete