Received Thursday, October 23, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I am a live out nanny for a five year old girl. I really like my job but I just have one issue.
When I come back to work on Mondays her playroom is ALWAYS a total mess. Every toy, lego block, crayon, marker, puzzle piece, doll, doll clothes, etc. is thrown across the floor as if hit by a tornado. I am expected to clean it up and reorganize it EVERY Monday. I do not think it is fair for me to have to clean it since it happened over the weekend when I was not there. During the week I ALWAYS leave the playroom in "showroom" condition before I leave in the evenings. I always encourage the little one to help me put her things away and she does.
The weekends are a whole different story. She has family and playdates over the weekend and her parents leave everything messy until I return on Monday to clean it. They don't encourage the little one and her friends to clean it and when I ask the little one to help me clean it on Monday she refuses and says "it's too much to do." I can understand her view since her parents do not instill in her the responsibility of cleaning behind herself. This is quite apparent since they don't make her put her things away over the weekend. Is this fair? What would you do in a situation like this?
wow what a slob for parents!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could use it as a learning experience for the child. It sounds like the parents do not have the sense to teach her about responsibility. You could both work on it, tackling one area at a time, taking breaks as needed until the work is done. Show her how to put toys away when done playing with them and before getting out other toys. That way, the mess is less and easier to deal with daily. The parents are stooges and are not going to do it.
ReplyDeleteWhen you figure out how to tell them hook me up.
ReplyDeleteI came today to a full diaper genie, sink full of dishes, the trash overflowing and a note asking to take it to the curb.
Just because her parents don't instill a good work ethic in the child does not mean that you are relieved of that responsibility. Make the child clean up the playroom with you every Monday. Make her stay with you, pulling her own weight until it's done. Skip other activities that would be fun or educational on Mondays because the two of you are cleaning and organizing a weekend's worth of mess.
ReplyDeleteThen, on Monday evening, when you do handover to the parents, report on the child's attitude while you cleaned, how long it took you, what you skipped because the TWO of you were cleaning up the mess THEY left for you.
This kid is 5, she should clean up her toys and the parents are adults, they should know better.
well op, here is the deal. If part of your job description was to tidy up after the child,then you need to suck it up and clean the toyroom on Monday mornings without complaining.
ReplyDeleteFair..no, you are right. However, it is not about fair. It is about being paid to do a job and doing it.
You are again right ..mom and dad should never allow the room to become such a mess and they should be encouraging their 5 yr old to clean up after herself. That said, they have a right as her parents to do neither of those things and as your employers, they have a right to ask you to do it as it does relate directly to your nanny position and caring for their child and her things.
You ..also have a right to find another job if you do not wish to carry out such duties or if you feel it was not part of the original job description and simply do not wish to take it on.
Since it is only one day a week I would suggest you deal with it if the job is otherwise a good situation for you,which, you imply it is.Especially in light of the current economy and job situation.
Often people hire domestic help in order to lighten their own loads.Again..fair..no but a big rerality for most nannies ,housekeepers and house managers.
All moms and dads are different. Some will cater to their children through college.Some children will never learn to do their own laundry,clean their own rooms or cook for themselves.
Others will teach their children those things..but beleive this..if you decide you do not want to clean the toyroom on Monday mornings, I am guessing that mom and dad will eventually find someone who will.
You are the only one who can decide weather your job is worth keeping or possibly losing over an extra hours worth of work.
I wish you luck and am sorry that your Monday mornings have to start out that way.
I sure don't mean to sound curt but I truly beleive that,lazy or not,people should have a right to hire someone to do a job that they do not wish to do ..of course they need to disclose the entire job description accurately.
Good Lord! Not ONLY is the playroom a mess EVERYDAY but the kitchen is a reck from breakfast, the garbage and recycling is overflowing, the pumpkins need to be gutted so they can carve them, the parents and children laundry is left out for me to do and I have a list of errands. On top of that they can't bother to come home on time. I've officially turned into their little Bi*ch. I hate it but I get paid well..
ReplyDeleteI agree with Does this moniker make my butt look big. The parents have hired you to clean up the playroom on Mondays. If it wasn't part of the original job description, then there's a point of contention there, but it seems that this is very much part of this job according to the parents.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's so unfair to have this be a part of someone's job description, however. This doesn't necessarily mean that they are not teaching the child to clean up after themselves; it does mean that they didn't follow through with the lesson after 1 playing session since you were there a few days ago (hence the remaining mess). They are counting on your to lighten their load. There is not something inherently wrong with hiring someone to help lighten their load. That is often why someone will hire a nanny or housekeeper.
Anonymouse, are you the OP? I thought you were a poster with a similar issue but are not the OP?
Have the little girl clean the playroom with you on Mondays...and every other day of the week when playtime is over. It's her playroom...so she should help you clean it. It shouldn't just be you leaving it in "showroom condition."
ReplyDeleteThen, remind her that there would be less to clean on Monday if she kept it clean over the weekend. She could clean up after herself...and have her friends who come over to play help her clean up when they're all done playing. When you come in to a clean playroom (or a "cleaner" playroom) on Monday--give her HUGE praise and do something special with her that day. Keep repeating that each Monday morning...and she'll be learning a very valuable lesson about taking pride in her OWN playroom...and the confidence that she'll have when she helps to take care of it herself.
I personally agree as a nanny that you are responsible for duties that are child-related, and that includes picking up any toys played with. However, my personal opinion is that those duties pertain to toys played with during your shift. I do not think you are personally responsible for the mess made over the weekend since you were not there. Unless you agreed to clean the playroom on Mondays, which it sounds like you did not, then I do not think you are responsible for it at all. I once had an employer who would leave me dirty dishes, and unswept floor, etc....for me to do once I got there. She told me it was my duty to clean it, however I begged to differ since I wasn't there when the dishes were used and the kids spilled the food on the floor. An exception would be if you are getting an excellent salary. If you are being paid well, then I would just suck it up and not say anything.
ReplyDeletemany nannies would not have a job if people did not hire others to do jobs they don't want to do
ReplyDeletejust something to think about
i know many moms and dads must work to survive i am not referring to those people
I work for a family on Tuesday and Thursdays and on both days when I get there at 10am the living room is a disaster with toys and the kitchen table too may have crafts on it from the night before. The FIRST thing the little 4 yr old has to do is clean it all up. Sometimes I help him sometimes not. I usually start by being specific with him by saying "pick up the legos first". That helps to focus. Then I go on to "now the hot wheels cars". Little by little it all gets down. All the while Im starting the dishes or laundry at the same time. The dad works from home so he hears me and the little one doing this and usually apologizes for the messes. My other job on Wednesdays..big differance. That little one makes a bigger mess and she refuses to help me clean it up, her parents are both home and she works us against each other. I end up doing it so we can move on with our day. I always say something to the parents in the line of "she needs to be cleaning this up when she is done", but it falls on deaf ears. Very frustrating to be trying to teach little ones and not getting reinforcments from the parents.
ReplyDeleteIf you cannot make a 4 or 5 year old cleanup their toys, you have no business being a nanny.
ReplyDeleteFox- I'm not the op. Just was trying to point out that it could be a lot worse than one messy room.
ReplyDeleteNYNanny- Have you ever worked with kids while their parents are home? It's a lot harder to get them to do ANYTHING when mom and dad are in the next room. It's actually almost impossible.
I guess I'm probably the minority but I love organizing so I like cleaning the playroom up, haha.
ReplyDeleteBUT are you sure it is your responsibility to clean it up? Or did you just start taking it upon yourself to clean it up and now they expect it?
I completely agree that while you are there it is your responsibility to keep things clean but since it happens over the weekend, you may not be completely responsible for it. I am not a nanny but I babysit (I know not the same thing) but I have been babysitting the same children for 9 years. If the playroom is messy when I come over, I try to get them to clean it but if we don't go upstairs or end up doing a craft instead- I just make sure they clean up what we did. Sometimes it could be too overwhelming to clean the whole thing at one time so I will have them do pieces at a time and then we take a break and play etc.
That can work wonders as well. I think you need to get the little girl to learn to clean up after herself, even if her parents do not instill that in her. Just show her that if you work together it will get done much faster. Or a five minute tidy up works well when you make it a game and see how much you can get done in five or ten minutes.
Anonymouse: No, I haven't & I wouldn't. But I take your point.
ReplyDeleteYears ago I had a very similar situation. I just did my job. Now I work for parents who want responsible children to become responsible adults and would never leave that sort of mess for myself or housekeeper ever. It makes life much more enjoyable. My suggestion is to grin and bear it until you're able to find another position and ask that question upfront in the interview, do they teach their children to pick up after themselves.
ReplyDeleteAs for it being a bad economy, most of us work for really wealthy people not effected by the stock market.
Wow. Everybody here makes good points.
ReplyDeleteAll of the nannies here who are doing icky housework, I hope it was disclosed to you before you took the job that you would be responsible for these things. If ti was, no complaining now. If not, next time you negotiate you contract be sure to either ask for more money or get those responsibilities removed. Either that, or just stop doign them and when the parents ask about it just tell them that you tried to be helpful by doing some extra things at first, but now it has become so out of hand that it is interfering with your ability to be a good nanny, so you decided to stop doing extra chores altogether and focus exclusively on being a nanny. If they have slid into the habit of taking advantage of you, hopefully that will help them recognize it and stop.
As for cleaning up the playroom...yeah, oyu probably need to do it. But for gosh sakes make the child help the entire time oyu are working on it. Give her one specific task at a time, like picking up all the Barbies and putting them into a box. When she finishes that, give her another. When she complains of being bored or tired to get out of helping, remind her that if she cleans up EACH thing as she finsihes playing with it she will never have to clean the whole room at once anymore because there will not be such a big mess ever again. Maybe oyu can implement a reward system that her parents will be willing to follow through with over the weekend. Maybe have some sort of treat that she can earn each time she cleans up something she has played with all by herself, without being asked, when she is finished with it. If you have to remind her to clean it up, no treat. If her parents could get on board with this idea they would not have to lift a finger to clean her toys themselves and would have a nice playroom to look at all weekend for only the effort of sticking their hand into the treat jar. Soon it will become second nature for the child to clean up her messes all by herself. Explain to the parents that you have implemented this system to help with their child's sense of personal responsibility, and to encourage her to be self motivated...which will benefit her throughout her life. it's true...and who could argue with that logic?
When I come into work on Mondays the sink is full and overflowing, the dishwasher is empty, the cereal bowls are left out, what a mess. I leave my house spotless, my little house. I wash my dishes by hand. In fact I make Sunday a day of cleaning. When I come in onMonday to a house that is so shockingly untidy my whole demeanor changes and I am not happy. The kids are 5 and eight. I m not the maid. Some moms are very inconsiderate. I only pick up afterschool. Herego, I leave the mess for the mom, who co created it.
ReplyDeleteHERE, HERE SISTER!
ReplyDeletei'm sick of cleaning the kitchen. sure, you want me to load the dishwasher- but AT LEAST bring your dishes to the sink! i hate having to clean up breakfast as soon as i walk in the door.
and god forbid you have your kid clean up her toys... like I DO.
11:57 & 12:18 is NOT me. I know it is a very common moniker, so I'm just not going to use it anymore.
ReplyDeleteCiao everyone!
i have a similar problem with the kids i watch.
ReplyDeletein your case, it is even worse because the girl is five, which is plenty old enough to clean up after herself.
if you can't get any support from the parents, deal directly with the girl. this is what i have done that has helped a lot. first, explain that a messy room looks ugly and it's no fun to play games with the pieces missing. (you will probably have to repeat yourself often over the next days and weeks, but it WILL sink in.)
then, you must express how sad and frustrated it makes you feel to have to clean up her messes, and that it isn't fair to you. ask her how she would feel if the situation were reversed.
then you will then have to explain to her that
1)you are no longer willing to clean up her messes because they are her toys, not yours.
2)she will not be able to play with any toys or do any other activities until the toyroom is clean.
you will have to give her very explicit, specific, step by step instructions to clean up the mess. tell her to do complete one task, and then come let you know so you can tell her what to do next.
if she doesn't cooperate, and/or the parents don't support you, you will have to consider finding a better situation. in my opinion, the way the children treat the toys is a direct reflection of their respect for you, the parents, the toys and the house. i cannot tolerate disrespect.
I have dealt with a very similar problem. I disagree with the previous posts such as "Does this Moniker..." that say since you are being paid, it's your responsibility. .
ReplyDeleteOf course it's not disclosed as part of your responsibilities! NO nanny contract would specify for a nanny to clean up a mess that happened outside her working hours. if it did, no one would take the job.
This is a matter of respect AND responsibility.
After you explain to the girl how you feel and why the mess makes you unhappy, I definitely would have the girl clean up with you, giving her specific instructions on what to do. Make sure she does more than half the work. Do not let her do anything else fun until it's done. This works for the family I work for.
I think that out of common decency and respect, a parent would not want to leave this mess for someone to come in and clean up first thing monday morning. I don't care how much they pay you.
I can't imagine treating such a valued employee that I care about with such disregard and coddling my child like a helpless spoiled puppy.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeletenomdeplume, Your confidence is fabulous and I wish no ill fate to anyone however, pls let me assure you,this recession WILL affect even the wealthiest of people before it is over. It will affect your boss.It is not even close to being over.Infact the damage it will do along with the financial hardships it will cause is nothing compared to what we have seen.
ReplyDeleteSorry to bring that news to you.
I can only assume that you buy milk,icecream,meat,eggs,yogurt,tofu or bread..just afew staples found in most homes. Those prices have already gone up while the sizes of containers have gone down.If you buy these things, you have already been affected. If your boss purchases those things, they have been affected.
Do not be fooled into a false sense of security because the gas prices have gone down. It is a ploy to create just that until the elections are over.
I am not trying to be argumentative with you. We simply are not comming out of this anytime soon and unless you work for the Rockafellers or Vanderbilts,which you do not as their security would never allow a domestic employee to blog on an unauthorized computer anywhere, your boss will be affected.Again, I don't wish it on you or anyone,it is simply inevitable.
It is no accident that we are where we are. It is a plan by some of the wealthiest in our nation.They run the country,the president is simply a pawn set up to take the fall for the dirty work.
Yes, but if that is part of what you have always done, it is a part of your job and yes, I am sure it gets old and annoying, which is why they pay you to do it.
ReplyDeletered hot nanny,I disagree with you too.
ReplyDeleteDoing the childs Laundry and tidying up after a child are usually considered part of the nanny duties,(atleast here in the county I live in)included in most,not all,contracts.
And unfortunately,when comming in on Mondays,there is usually a few loads of childrens laundry and a playroom or bedroom in need of tidying up.
I do not do kitchens or bathrooms,floors or windows. Nor do I do mom & dads laundry as I have all of my own to do and I do not feel a nanny should be subject to those chores. However, let me just say that if it ever came down to needing a job bad enough,I would take a nanny job with chores in the contract in a heartbeat.There is no job beneath me when it comes to helping my husband pay the bills or feeding my family.
All I can say is good luck. I've been in that situation. They had a 5 year old and one day I came in and he said Mommy says we can't play in the playroom because we don't clean up when we are done. I was floored and of course the mom tried to play it off like that wasn't what she said.
ReplyDeleteThe fact was SHE never made him clean up and I was expected to, when I finally put my foot down and quit cleaning up HIS mess (not mine...) that's when she made the comment.
I would try to get him to clean up but because his parents never made him it was impossible for me to get him to clean up.
Picking up after the children, cleaning up after art projects and meals she makes for them is indeed part of a nanny's job. If she is being paid for five days a week, is it her job to clean up the mess they make on the days she isn't being paid to care for them? It depends on how you look at it. Personally, I would feel taken advantage of, but if I was happy about the job over all, I would probably suck it up, and continue to teach the children to pick up after themselves.
ReplyDeleteThe 5 year old "refuses" to do something? Sit her down in a chair in the messy playroom and tell her she's not getting up until she helps you clean up. Plain and simple!
ReplyDeleteWhy are parents and nannies so afraid to discipline children and insist on responsible behaviour? It absolutely turns my stomach to read a lot of these posts. The 5 year old "refuses"! What if she "refused" to put on her seat belt or to hold your hand as you cross the streat?
Grow a backbone, OP. Or pick a line of work that doesn't affect young lives.
When you figure out a solution, let me know. Seriously, I'm in the exact same boat.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with those that feel that this is part of your job description. Picking up after the girl is your job and the parents assume you will do this Monday morning as that is what you are paid to do. If I see my bathroom garbage cans are getting full on Sunday night and my cleaning woman is coming Monday morning, I leave them for her. Sure I could empty them but one of the main reasons I hired a cleaning lady to come Monday and Friday was because I didn't want to spend my weekend cleaning up our messes. That is the only time my husband is home where we can all spend time together as a family. He gets home after the kids are in bed during the week and leaves in the morning before they get up. I don't want to spend that time cleaning. I enjoy our weekend knowing that I am paying somebody on Monday to come and clean up behind us. Now, whether or not this 5 yo girl is being taught a lesson to clean after herself is ultimately the responsibility of her parents. It is obvious that they are teaching her that you are the hired help and that you will clean up after her on Monday. If she can afford to hire someone to pick up after herself when she is older, great....if not, she will certainly look back and realize how good she had it as a kid.
ReplyDeleteI think Emily hit it right on the head. The child (and the parents) must know she is missing out of prime funtime with you because she left such a mess. Maybe plan a really great thing for Mondays, like a cooking project or a nature walk, and tell the child these things can only happen when the toys have been put away, and that they could happen earlier if she did her tidying on Sunday evening. Give her a reminder of the fun thing you're going to do on Monday as you leave on Friday night, and leave a note for the parents about your plans saying, "I'd really like to make cookies with A on Monday, but we often don't have time for special projects on Mondays because of all the cleanup we must do. Please remind her to tidy the playroom on Sunday before bed so we can get to the fun stuff right away on Monday." I think that's polite enough, puts no direct burden on the parents to do any cleaning themselves, and is non-judgmental of the parents' weekend style.
ReplyDeleteother paths/tips:
-any toys that are left out obviously aren't respected or cared about and so will be donated to less fortunate children who will appreciate them? or a less extreme version: any toys left out at the end of the day go on vacation for a month out of the child's reach?
-end playdates 10-15 minutes early so the friend can help the kid clean up before the parent arrives to pick up the friend.
-assign everyone jobs during the cleanup. A, you pick up the fake money, I'll pick up the game pieces, and B, you can fold the gameboard and put it in the box. Or: A, you put all the knights into the castle, B, you pick up all the marbles.
-make sure they clean up from one activity before being allowed to move on to another.
-label plastic drawers and bins with specific toy types: legos, barbies, dollhouse furniture, cooking toys, star wars figures, etc.
-throw out/donate the toys that the child is too old for/hasn't used in months/have missing pieces/you have no idea what this piece goes with. make sure nothing has sentimental value to the parents before disposal. then there will be fewer toys in the house to get messed up and more space to store the ones you really use.
-throughout the day, have the child do timed, one-minute cleanups (as much as she can in one minute)
-keep instilling the responsibility in the child, and make sure to do it in front of the parents. then they will see how well their child behaves for you and then perhaps be inspired/have the courage to follow through with/adopt your habits with their child.
Good luck!
Personally, this is what I have done. Explain to the child/parents that there are simply too many toys for the child to keep organized and also remark that when toys are rotated they are played with MORE. Then proceed to put a great deal of them away. Does Sally need 8 dolls? No, Sally has TWO hands and can have TWO dolls out to play with. Books, toy food, blocks- you name it and reduce it. Art supplies should be put AWAY in an organized container out of the reach of the child with the exception of a bin of things they can use on their own (with paper, crayons, pencils, things like that).
ReplyDeleteDo this and 2 things will happen: First- the child will be able to somewhat control the mess and secondly- even if EVERY single available toy is taken out on Monday- the mess should take minutes to clean up.
Problem solved :)
Dear Does this Moniker-
ReplyDeleteI got a raise last week that put me up to 80k a year. My raise more than covered the cost of gas, milk, bread, water...
My boss is still making good money, he's had hit after hit at the box office this year. Two more likely huges successes in the next month. He's also not worried.
I'm saying is that none of signed on for that sort of position, and certainly no parent would say in an interview that when you come in on Monday you'll be met with a monstrous disaster of a house. It's a great question to bring up in an interview.
this is not a matter of what a nanny is willing to do to pay the bills, this is a matter of decency and respect.
ReplyDeleteit's called just being normal and it's really not that technical.
if the parents seriously don't care that the child is creating a such a dump, that's just wrong.
if they aren't willing to make a change to support and respect their nanny, that's wrong too. it's common decency.
5 years old is PLENTY old enough to clean up her own messes. If the parents don't teach her that resonsibility, or ESPECIALLY if the parents don't teach her that responsibility, it is up to the nanny to do the right thing and teach her.
ReplyDeleteI think the best approach would be to explain that since you need to be able to find all the toys and have space to use them, the playroom MUST be tidied regularly, and since they are HER toys, it is HER responsibility to do her job like a big girl and clean up. It won't work to dictate a string of orders and then go hang out on your own, expecting her to do as you said. At least at first, supervise and make it into a game (I'll hold the Lego bin, you see how many pieces you can toss in before I count to 10). Break it up into several stages (dolls follow Legos, then puzzle pieces, etc), and take a short break halfway through with a small "reward" for both of you for your hard work on the project.
I don't think it's completely unfair of the parents to count it as part of your job to tidy up on Monday mornings, but it IS completely unfair to let the little girl get away with NO responsibility for helping to clean up HER messes. If you take this sensible approach and she complains about it to her parents and they fault you for enforcing her duties, you're screwed and should look for a new employer or will just have to deal with these jerks for the time being.
OP Here,
ReplyDeleteAs I mentioned in the post I always make the little one clean during the week with me and she never gives me problems. I always tell her we cannot move to the next activity until we clean from the previous one.( She attends Montessori sch. from 8am-3pm. and for those of you who are familiar with the montessori method you know this totally goes against it. In Montessori they are taught to always be responsible and put thinks back where it belongs as soon as they are done working with it. No exceptions. The teacher Will Not do it for you.) Her dad works from home so he was there Monday when I asked her to simply put all the crayons back in their container and all of her dolls back on the shelf an that I would clean the rest. She ran to him and he did not encourage her to come back and help. Instead he let her play on the computer in his office. In my contract it did specify that I would indeed "CLEAN UP BEHIND MYSELF AND THE CHILD BEFORE LEAVING EACH DAY" I make sure to do that. Mom even said one Monday when I came back "The playroom is very messy. I just closed the door. There was nothing I could do for it." This is something that recently started happening. along with going in the yard and collecting all of the dog poop (which was not in my contract) Not only is the playroom messy but usually the little one has gone the entire weekend without a bath, no matter how dirty and sticky she is. She stays dirty until I get there on Monday. I know that times are hard and I am thankful that I have job. Just want to be sure that I am not taken advantage of.
Well OP, if your contract says that you will clean up after yourselves at the end of each day, and they just started this I would say oyu have an easy out...EXCEPT, are oyu alone in th ehouse all day long while she's at Montessori? If so, you probably need to do something to busy yourself during those hours.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong...I think these people are incredibly rude to leave a mess like that and expect you to clean it up. I cannot imagine treating somebody like that....but that's who oyu work for, so you propbably need to just do it. I would still make the child help.
Next time she runs to her daddy to get out of cleaning, maybe oyu can use it as an opportunity to broach the subject. YOu can go to retrieve her and say something like, "I'm a little unclear about this issue since it's only recently started happening, but are you expecting _________ (the child's name) and I to clean the weekend mess in the playroom? If he says yes, then say to the child, in front of him, "Come on ______. Mommy will be home soon and is expecting that you will have your mess cleaned up by then." If dad says she doesn't have to clean right then, say, "OK, we'll try again tomorrow."
Just don't clean without the child working beside you. If the parents balk, tell them that as a good nanny, you cannot in good conscience let her watch you clean her mess because it is not a good example to set for her.
Some of yu who suggested putting away half the toys, donating them to charity, etc...those choices are the responsibility of the parents and would be way overstepping.
Yuck, okay you shouldn't be cleaning dog shit.
ReplyDeleteAnd if I was a nanny making 80k, I would hire someone on the outside to come in and help me while I was there. Maybe, on that Monday when everything is a mess. I would get one of my friends to come in for two hour or three and give me a hand. And give her $40 dollars.
OP again here. I do not come into work until after I pick the little one up from school @ 3:00pm. Her playroom is very well organized. I rotate her toys so that there are not too many. With the exception of crayons and markers, her arts and craft things are stored in the garage until we use them together. The problem is it seems her parents go to storage and just give her every toy and game she owns on the weekend. They also allow her to bring the stapler, scissors, post it notes and paper from the office. The mess usually consists of tons of shredded, cut-paper. There is also glue and tape on nearly everything. I'm begining to think the parents just dump her in the playroom for the weekend and just let her be.
ReplyDeletenomdeplume, I am glad you got your most likely well deserved raise. I just hope that once the recession,once it gets really bad and goes depression like, will support people paying $8-10 to buy a movie ticket so that both you and your boss can continue to prosper.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Welcome to my world!
ReplyDeleteIn the interview I was told that the two angels that I would be looking after were so reasonable and helpful.
Four months later I've managed to get the five year old to place her dirty clothes in the basket.
Time will tell. Hopefully one day I will be able to reason with them.
Let me know the answer to this $20,000 question.
*Please use OP as a moniker so that we know this is your post. :)
Hmmm....yup-sounds like every nanny job I've ever had or ever heard of. Guess it's just one of those things that comes w/ the territory...as annoying as it may be.
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing, Moniker, during the Depression, people still went to the movies. With the advent of DVDs, even more money is made from that these days. I had a previous employer who had a backend agreement with the DVD sales of his movie and he made millions off of that, multi-millions. Then there are the tie ins to the movies. His genre of movies will always sell.
ReplyDeleteAllowing parents, over time, to slip into bad habits that take advantage of you isn't "just one of those things that comes with the territory"! It only happens if you don't stand up for yourself.
ReplyDeleteOP, you have a contract--no one is going to enforce it for you if you don't care enough to do it for yourself. Sit down with the parents, explain to them how you feel about what's been happening lately and how it makes you feel. If they're good people who have just been overwhelmed with their own lives lately, they'll ammend their behavior. If they give you problems, I'd think about looking for a new job.
Nannies, we need to be our own best advocates and not expect someone else to take that job on for us!
It seems odd that you are cleaning up dog poop (unless you agreed to do so or they explained this is part of the job, or they explained this is what they now need to add to your duties and you agreed).
ReplyDeleteThat said, if I understand correctly you're complaining that the parents retrieve toys you've stored in the garage and they let the girl play with them on the weekends, and the parents don't put the toys back in the storage place where you think they should be.
That seems odd too. The parents perhaps don't like that you're storing the toys there and maybe they want the girl to be able to play with more things. There's nothing wrong with taking out a lot of things and being creative and ending up with a mess. This is how the learning process takes place, and how children develop their creativity. In any case, if you disagree with something the parents think is right, it's for you to acquiesce to their wishes. Maybe you could stop placing things in the storage if they no longer want that to happen.
Some commenters on this thread who have made suggestions for how OP should deal with this problem have suggested that OP handle it in a way that will pit the child against the parents. If the parents are truly not making her clean anything up on the weekend, OP can try talking about this with the parents. If that is not successful, however, handling it in a way that makes the child suffer because OP disapproves of how the parents are on the weekends is not wise. It will come out to the parents in some way. More importantly, it is unhealthy for the girl.
I nannied a family a few years ago and had the same situation, although i only worked part time, the parents expected me to keep the children's playroom in tip top shape at all times. the kids could trash the room and it was my responsibiltiy to clean it up. which stunk. I was only there for a month cause i didn't get along with them, the kids would always argue with me cause they didn't want to lift a finger. If i was there longer, i would have spoke to the mom and ask her to please help in tidyin' the room at the end of the weekend
ReplyDeleteI just had a talk with my new boss. At the interview "house work wasn't discussed", but soon toys everywhere, dirty dishes left out, clean dishes left in the dishwasher etc. I don't mind cleaning up after the young ones "when I am with them" but this maid service is out of order.
ReplyDeleteI finally told them I was hired to educate the kid's and I am not a housekeeper. It is exhausting having to come to work, cleaning the first thing off the bat. If we have time to clean our own homes over the weekend as well as daily why the heck can't they clean heir own mess? When you are not there it is "their" responsibility to help their child clean.