Received Tuesday, June 17, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I need some advice from fellow nannies and mothers, regarding a situation with another nanny.
I used to work for a wonderful family that lived in a development that had a huge playground and a sandbox. I would take my charges there almost every day and became friendly with a few other nannies and moms. There were never any problems with anybody until the last few months when this strange nanny appeared at the playground. She immediately tried to befriend me (at first I thought she was a bit strange but nothing more) and also signed up for various moms groups.
We chatted and our charges played together a couple of times, when I started noticing the way she treated her charges. She would scream at them, threaten them and yank them around. At first I thought it was an isolated incident but it quickly became apparent that it happened every single time I saw them. Her charges were sweet little girls, that didn't act out, at least not in public that I've seen and frankly, no child deserves that kind of treatment. She would also threaten them with "your daddy is going to give you a spanking" etc.
I told her a few times "please stop yelling at them like that" but to no avail. I started avoiding her as did other moms and nannies. I wanted to notify the parents (I knew where they, lived she had told me) and brought it up to my employers who told me to rather write a letter than approach them in person. When i decided to write the letter, I wanted to get signatures from all the moms and nannies that had witnessed her behaviour towards the kids (if she treats them like that in public, i shudder to think of what she does to them at home). That day at the park I approached a fellow nanny for her signature and found out that psycho nanny had left the family that she worked for high and dry and just didn't show up for work one day.
I was relieved for the kids and thought the situation had taken care of itself.
Now recently I started posting ads for a job again (the mom of the family I worked for decided to stay home) and I came across psycho Nanny's ads on every nanny site I registered or posted on. She makes herself sound like Mary Poppins and even though I know this is none of my business, I feel like I need to do something to warn parents about what kind of person she is. I fear for her future charges and the way she will treat them when the parents are gone, thinking their children are safe and happy with their nanny.
6/18/08
The Nanny is about 5'7, has bleached hair with dark roots, dark brown eyes, usually wears a lot of makeup. Her clothing style is very young (lowrise jeans, tight tops), clothes a senior in highschool would wear. She says she is 18 and from Sicily. Her name starts with a K (please feel free to give prospective mothers my email so they can contact me and get her full first and last name if needed).
The incidents occurred in St Augustine, FL in Heritage Landing (Subdivision of world golf village) and the nanny is currently advertising her services on the Jacksonville craigslist.
I am assuming she won't use her last family as a reference but I don't think it would hurt to get in contact with them and to still give the letter with witnesses who signed onto it. That way, this mom can go ahead onto craigslist or where ever she is posting and give her 2 cents about her nanny-like many people do. Or better, the nanny might use her former employers and if they still have their information she could call them up and warn them about what happened incase they are used for referals. This might screw her for other references and so get the word out.
ReplyDeleteIm not sure what the legal aspects to a situation like this is but in my opinion I would think that if you have evidence and witnesses to abuse warn them by all means before she abuses other children. Heck, even file a police report.
I would flag down her post. She won't know you did it.
ReplyDeleteYaya, Marissa and OP..
ReplyDeleteJust some advice.
Not sure what states you all live in ,but in many, it is ilegal to interefere with someone obtaining a job.(someone's right to work and support themseleves and family)
The OP needs to be very careful as her attempt to do good may come back in the form of a lawsuit.
Just as a former landlord cannot legally give a bad reference ,nor can a previous employer. They can by law simply state, "I am unable to give a reference for so & so at this time."
Getting a petition signed and handing it over may prove to be a very bad idea and bad advice.
As I said, I am not sure of the laws specific to the state you may be in.
I am sure many people actually do give bad references. How many get caught or sued?? I don't know!
Just a heads up.
And if you continue to flag her posts as suggested and she files a suit and they trace it to you, you may be held accountable..again..not sure.
A similar situation happened here locally.( an inhome care provider for the elderly)She was mean and very, very harsh but not what the law would consider abusive( just as your nanny sounds) and several neighbors signed a petition..kept her from working for almost a year.She sued and was awarded an entire years pay from the neighbor who started the petition.
Be careful. If you feel she was abusive contact the law or local CPS to see if they can handle the situation. let them investigate and let them act on keeping her from working.She will no doubt be easy to find if you know where she is listing her posts!
Flagging the post sounds like a good idea to me.
ReplyDeleteYou are most likely completely right about giving a bad reference. If they can however tell her other employers, they can hit back with a 'im sorry i can't provide a reference for her".
See if you can sue someone for providing a bad reference id sue someone for giving me a "good" one and putting my child in danger.
If my nanny EVER does something like that I will fire her. File a police report and not provide a reference. Any background check will bring up her history to future employers and that does a lot more than just a poor reference.
I have to agree with anon @6:27. I would be very careful in this instance. I realize OP has the children's interests in mind, but it is true that legal trouble could follow.
ReplyDeleteI would personally not interfere with this woman's job search. Flagging her post as spam is fine: that is within your right. However, I would not do anything other than that, with a petition or whatnot. Sounds like she is a crappy nanny, true, but anything you have to say is technically hearsay, nothing more.
Just my two cents!
I agree--I would be very careful about intervening.
ReplyDeleteHmmm..she cannot be allowed to be with children again.
ReplyDeleteI would report what you saw to CPS...in great detail...every single abusive incident you can remember (physical or verbal). Do it anonymously and tell them the name of the former employer. CPS will ocntact the former employer for information, and in that way they will also be informed of her behavior towards their children. This ought to prevent them from giving a good reference should anybody call.
You might also give a few names of potential witnesses who you feel can verify your story. But don't tell even these ptential witnesses that you have called...even if they ask you after they have been interviewed. (They may suspect you because you made the petition, but just act as surprised at the next person that somebody actually called to report her.) Pretend to know nothing about it. You want to leave no trace that it was you that reported her in case this legal crap comes up. Just let them wonder to themselves who reported her and gave their names as witnesses.
Go to the library and log in on a computer under a fictitious name and flag all of her posts that you can find as an abusive caregiver.
Mom, that's really smart of you....
ReplyDeletePS You might not want to mention to CPS that you know this crapbag of a "nanny" has left the employer. If they know that up front they may say there is nothing they can do. Report her as a current employee and let the employer do the talking when CPS shows up at their door.
ReplyDeletewell, i have seen posts on craigslist warning people not to hire certain people because they were bad. maybe since you were not her employer you can't do this, but her past employer can.
ReplyDeleteI have had a negative rant posted about me on CL and it was filled with lies: it got flagged down when I wrote to CL and explained that I was going to my city police (they tend to take stuff like that down pretty damn fast when you say this, and I was totally serious: I would have.)
ReplyDeleteWhy not update this post with more of a description of the nanny (since it is kind of a sighting), and then post a link to ISYN on craigslist daily. Hopefully a mother looking to hire a nanny would see the post about her first, and then know to ask for references.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea Sarah and Mitch. How about posting a link to Childcare Gone Wrong too. That ought to be enough to get all but the dimmest knuckleheads to think twice, or a hundred times, before they hire a stranger to watch their kids without having a full background check and several references.
ReplyDeleteThose posts chill me to the bones. Poor babies!
OP here:
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for your opinions and suggestions!
I will email Jane to add the Nannys description to the post, and then link it to my local craigslist, hopefully somebody will see it before hiring her!
In regards to CPS - Me and my husband have called CPS on our neighbors bevor (for letting their 2 and 3 year old ride in the truckbed repeatedly) and nothing has come of it, CPS investigated but just last week my husband saw the older of the boys ride in the back again. When he called CPS once more he was told there was already an investigation and there was nothing more they can do at this point. - Long story short, I highly doubt CPS in my town would actually care much about psycho nanny.
Thanks to Mom for the idea with the library - I spend alot of them there anyway research for classes), so it wont be a problem to devote some time to flagging.
I will keep you updated if there are any news!
Great job, OP! And with all of the awesome suggestions by the other posters, hopefully you'll stop this Nanny dead in her tracks.
ReplyDeleteIf you post on Craigslist warning people about other people, your post will be removed by Craigslist! It's happened to me.
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking of posting a link to isawyournanny without any warning, "local nanny sightings" as a headline or something like that..
ReplyDeleteThe unfortunate truth is that when people are truly insane and are not getting medication or help, they can really hurt people such as the children they are supposed to care for. We can hope that our society will better care for such people in the future, but for now we have to make sure the children are safe.
ReplyDeletePittsburgh, PA 15202 (35 miles away)
ReplyDeleteMonday, 6/30/2008 through
Tuesday, 6/30/2009
We are seeking a nanny/baby-sitter to care for our children in our Ben Avon home Monday - Friday 7 a.m. - 5 p.m. daily. Our children are ages 11, 5 and 4 months. The job would entail child care only with no household duties, and the two older children will be in school all day beginning in the fall. We are proposing to pay $275 per week. We need a caregiver that has experience with infants, is reliable and easy going with kids.
I found this at care.com can you believe it monday thru friday from 7 to 5 for 3 kids for 275!!!!!
It made me budt out giggling!
Mimi,
ReplyDeleteI cant tell you how many times i've been offered positions under 8 dollars an hour. Seems to be the norm anywhere outside of NYC. Makes me regret ever moving away.
Now if it wasnt for the nice weather and the beach i get to enjoy ;-)
I first heard about this site from an informative post on craigslist, I highly recommend continuing that trend on your local craigslists!!
ReplyDeleteCEO,
ReplyDeleteThanks.
I love that idea.
I would appreciate anyone who visits any message boards, parenting boards, parenting forums or groups to leave a link to us here.
http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com
Thanks in advance.
:)
i am in op's area and am looking for a nanny. saw this link on CL. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteGlad that the message is reaching moms in the area!
ReplyDeletei absolutely googled jacksonville craigslist. found 2 K names. kristen and kathleen. though they seem american ???
ReplyDeletei especially liked how the one girl said she was 18 and engaged to be married next year and has a step daughter- whose pic she posted online!!!!
that just reminds me of a shirt i saw someone wear at a gas station on my way into chicago saying "if you mess with me you mess with the whole trailer park"
wtf gets married at 19 in todays life anyways??? NOTE: no offense to the people here who got married at 21 in the 60's. hehe
Marissa,
ReplyDeletesaid Nanny has the name (K) in her email adress, so im not sure if google would find it.
And theres tons of the "18-soon-to-be-married-with-kids/stepkids" ... they tend to charge 5 bucks an hour or watch a hoard of children unlicensed in their own homes. Don't even get me started
It is Pittsburgh!
ReplyDelete