I've had my first nanny sighting; today at my favorite playground, Heckscher in Central Park. My sight drifted to everyone around me and I started to observe the different people who were sitting and who were playing. I noticed one boy looked very sad and sat right next to his nanny on the the wall, with his hands in his lap, kicking his feet restlessly. He looked to be three years old. He had a full, white face, brown eyes, thick hair and wore a multi colored striped t-shirt with lots of yellows, oranges and reds. His nanny was reading a newspaper folded in half and had her body positioned facing away from him. She did not appear to be watching any other children. I assumed the boy must be in time out. I wasn't staring intently at this point, my eyes were roving around the grounds. In the nanny's left hand she was holding a dragon like figure, maybe a yugioh figure and while she continued to read and the boy continued to sit there, I saw her reach over and thwack him on the head with the figure. This was not a stuffed animal, but an action figure, about 8-10 inches tall. The little boy looked over and said, "why'd you do that" and she responded in a way to suggest that she hadn't done anything and he should continue to sit still and stop shaking his legs. Again, let me say that while there children on the playground, even running past this boy, he was sitting with his hands folded in his lap. He was not shaking his legs but swinging them back and fourth. I wasn't sure what was going on, so now I tuned in discreetly. Three minutes or so later, the nanny, without taking her eyes off of her newspaper, again thwacked him in the head with the figure. This time he said, "Ow.. -etty that hurts". The nanny's name was either Betty or Letty. She was a heavy set, African American female wearing aviator sunglasses and a white 3/4 sleeve shirt with blue jeans and navy blue, well worn flats. The nanny was reading the New York Post. The next time my child came back to me, I handed him two trucks from his bag and suggested we go ask the boy on the bench to play with him. Carrying the two trucks, my son and I approached the nanny and the child. I greeted them simultaneously. "Hi, (my son's name) wants to know if your little boy wants to play trucks with him". The nanny lifted her head up off of her paper and fixed her glasses on me, "Oh I'm sure he would, but he's being punished". My son, not knowing anything that had went on, grabbed the next kid who passed him by, leaving me standing there in front of the nanny and child. "Ahhh, I said. Having a bad day?", I asked. The nanny creased her newspaper swung her leg around and said, "Do I know you". I replied, "No, I'm just making conversation". With that the nanny flipped back up her newspaper, swung her leg back up and over, so she was again facing away from the boy and said, "and I am reading the newspaper". I paused for only a fraction of a second when she turned to look at me, pulling the shades down from her eyes and said, "move along". I retreated to the area I had previously been in with my tail between my legs, humiliated by the gruff nanny. As I walked away, I thought of ten things I could have said or should have said, but I never approached them again. When I left the park at 12:40 PM, the two were still sitting on the bench. My experience left me with a number of questions, not the least of which was, what should I have done? If a nanny could make me, a fairly successful young mother feel this humiliated, how must that child feel in her care? If I would have called the police, would they have taken serious my complaint that I saw her hit the child with the action figure?
Tuesday
Heckscher Playground in NYC
Received Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I've had my first nanny sighting; today at my favorite playground, Heckscher in Central Park. My sight drifted to everyone around me and I started to observe the different people who were sitting and who were playing. I noticed one boy looked very sad and sat right next to his nanny on the the wall, with his hands in his lap, kicking his feet restlessly. He looked to be three years old. He had a full, white face, brown eyes, thick hair and wore a multi colored striped t-shirt with lots of yellows, oranges and reds. His nanny was reading a newspaper folded in half and had her body positioned facing away from him. She did not appear to be watching any other children. I assumed the boy must be in time out. I wasn't staring intently at this point, my eyes were roving around the grounds. In the nanny's left hand she was holding a dragon like figure, maybe a yugioh figure and while she continued to read and the boy continued to sit there, I saw her reach over and thwack him on the head with the figure. This was not a stuffed animal, but an action figure, about 8-10 inches tall. The little boy looked over and said, "why'd you do that" and she responded in a way to suggest that she hadn't done anything and he should continue to sit still and stop shaking his legs. Again, let me say that while there children on the playground, even running past this boy, he was sitting with his hands folded in his lap. He was not shaking his legs but swinging them back and fourth. I wasn't sure what was going on, so now I tuned in discreetly. Three minutes or so later, the nanny, without taking her eyes off of her newspaper, again thwacked him in the head with the figure. This time he said, "Ow.. -etty that hurts". The nanny's name was either Betty or Letty. She was a heavy set, African American female wearing aviator sunglasses and a white 3/4 sleeve shirt with blue jeans and navy blue, well worn flats. The nanny was reading the New York Post. The next time my child came back to me, I handed him two trucks from his bag and suggested we go ask the boy on the bench to play with him. Carrying the two trucks, my son and I approached the nanny and the child. I greeted them simultaneously. "Hi, (my son's name) wants to know if your little boy wants to play trucks with him". The nanny lifted her head up off of her paper and fixed her glasses on me, "Oh I'm sure he would, but he's being punished". My son, not knowing anything that had went on, grabbed the next kid who passed him by, leaving me standing there in front of the nanny and child. "Ahhh, I said. Having a bad day?", I asked. The nanny creased her newspaper swung her leg around and said, "Do I know you". I replied, "No, I'm just making conversation". With that the nanny flipped back up her newspaper, swung her leg back up and over, so she was again facing away from the boy and said, "and I am reading the newspaper". I paused for only a fraction of a second when she turned to look at me, pulling the shades down from her eyes and said, "move along". I retreated to the area I had previously been in with my tail between my legs, humiliated by the gruff nanny. As I walked away, I thought of ten things I could have said or should have said, but I never approached them again. When I left the park at 12:40 PM, the two were still sitting on the bench. My experience left me with a number of questions, not the least of which was, what should I have done? If a nanny could make me, a fairly successful young mother feel this humiliated, how must that child feel in her care? If I would have called the police, would they have taken serious my complaint that I saw her hit the child with the action figure?
I've had my first nanny sighting; today at my favorite playground, Heckscher in Central Park. My sight drifted to everyone around me and I started to observe the different people who were sitting and who were playing. I noticed one boy looked very sad and sat right next to his nanny on the the wall, with his hands in his lap, kicking his feet restlessly. He looked to be three years old. He had a full, white face, brown eyes, thick hair and wore a multi colored striped t-shirt with lots of yellows, oranges and reds. His nanny was reading a newspaper folded in half and had her body positioned facing away from him. She did not appear to be watching any other children. I assumed the boy must be in time out. I wasn't staring intently at this point, my eyes were roving around the grounds. In the nanny's left hand she was holding a dragon like figure, maybe a yugioh figure and while she continued to read and the boy continued to sit there, I saw her reach over and thwack him on the head with the figure. This was not a stuffed animal, but an action figure, about 8-10 inches tall. The little boy looked over and said, "why'd you do that" and she responded in a way to suggest that she hadn't done anything and he should continue to sit still and stop shaking his legs. Again, let me say that while there children on the playground, even running past this boy, he was sitting with his hands folded in his lap. He was not shaking his legs but swinging them back and fourth. I wasn't sure what was going on, so now I tuned in discreetly. Three minutes or so later, the nanny, without taking her eyes off of her newspaper, again thwacked him in the head with the figure. This time he said, "Ow.. -etty that hurts". The nanny's name was either Betty or Letty. She was a heavy set, African American female wearing aviator sunglasses and a white 3/4 sleeve shirt with blue jeans and navy blue, well worn flats. The nanny was reading the New York Post. The next time my child came back to me, I handed him two trucks from his bag and suggested we go ask the boy on the bench to play with him. Carrying the two trucks, my son and I approached the nanny and the child. I greeted them simultaneously. "Hi, (my son's name) wants to know if your little boy wants to play trucks with him". The nanny lifted her head up off of her paper and fixed her glasses on me, "Oh I'm sure he would, but he's being punished". My son, not knowing anything that had went on, grabbed the next kid who passed him by, leaving me standing there in front of the nanny and child. "Ahhh, I said. Having a bad day?", I asked. The nanny creased her newspaper swung her leg around and said, "Do I know you". I replied, "No, I'm just making conversation". With that the nanny flipped back up her newspaper, swung her leg back up and over, so she was again facing away from the boy and said, "and I am reading the newspaper". I paused for only a fraction of a second when she turned to look at me, pulling the shades down from her eyes and said, "move along". I retreated to the area I had previously been in with my tail between my legs, humiliated by the gruff nanny. As I walked away, I thought of ten things I could have said or should have said, but I never approached them again. When I left the park at 12:40 PM, the two were still sitting on the bench. My experience left me with a number of questions, not the least of which was, what should I have done? If a nanny could make me, a fairly successful young mother feel this humiliated, how must that child feel in her care? If I would have called the police, would they have taken serious my complaint that I saw her hit the child with the action figure?
Woooow. I agree OP..I can't imagine how she probably humiliates and belittles this child on a daily basis. She is by-the-book emotionally abusive and demeaning and has NO right taking care of children. That's one of the worst sightings I have seen on this site. You did the right thing by posting it here. There's really nothing else you could have done, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteThis is heartbreaking. And an innocent little THREE year old!
ReplyDeleteI know people will say that NY is too big for the police to care, but I just might have called the police anyway. The hitting was probably not enough to interest them much, but if they came out and at least took a report it would HAVE TO get back to the parents at least. Then, if they didn't fire her on the spot, they would at least know to talk to their little boy and he could tell them, "nanny hits me."
The potential for long term emotional abuse and damage really concerns me here. Maybe you can go back there A LOT and look for them and either try to get more info, or be ready to make that call if you ever see her hit him again. His parents just HAVE TO know about this ASAP.
Beware people are going to kill you for this one. Though I am sure it is only out of frustration of seeing this over and over every day on these boards.
ReplyDeleteThis is what you do when you see them again. Call the police. You could report her for physical abuse. She was hitting a child and not even hers so police aught to take that very serious and even though they might not charge her it has to be reported and thus her employees will be notified.
I hope you keep going to that park and find them.
That is one of the saddest things I have read on here. I can totally picture the nanny talking to you demeaning and rudely. We probably can't imagine what she says to the little boy.
ReplyDeleteI really hope mom and dad find out about this.
I don't think conking a kid in the head wiht a toy is legal is it? If we are not allowed to swat a child on the behind I think hitting him in the head with anything might land this poerson in a bit of hot water. If you see her do this again I would call 911 and let her take the heat. At least the parents would know that she is doing this sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteanonymous poster 6:35..not to get off subject,but where to you live that it is not legal to spank a child. I have never heard of this law being in plcae anywhere yet?
ReplyDeleteA curious poster.
PS.. The nanny was mean for sure . You should have called the police to let them handle it. A documented incident is how this will most likely have to start and grow from there .Poor kid, I hope mom & dad catch on real quick!
mom, I agree the nanny absolutley had no business hitting the kid on the head but where does the emotional abuse factor in?
ReplyDeleteShe obviously is a rotten nanny to say the least but no where is it mentioned that she verbally abused this child.
She simply did not want to engage in conversation with another mommmy or nanny at this point and the mommy said this "humiliated her" Nnot sure why..not everyone is good at or simply wants to talk with strangers. That is not a big deal.
The nanny made it clear she was reading a paper and stated so . Why the op did not get the hint I am not sure? She still felt the need to stick around.
Not sure why op felt the need to go over and socialize at this point anyhow. It was obvious the nanny was having a bad day..why involve her own child and head over?
If she felt the nanny was abusing the child (which it appears she was,atleast physically)she should have helped him by contacting the police. Not wandering over to "make conversation"
well, A Manhatta_ Mam_ she is not!
ReplyDeleteHer visit to the nanny did no good. She should have either gone over and told nanny to knock it off or she would call the police or she should have just called the police.
She also could have just asked the kid his name and then try to locate the parents. 3 is old enough to blurt out a name.
Chatting it up and then leaving with your tail between your legs?
what a horrid brute of a nanny- -good reporting op. one can only hope she gets what she deserves by being recognized by someone and the parents finding out what kind of beast is in their employ
ReplyDelete7:01...are you the new village idiot?? The op went over to the nanny to probably save the sad little boy.
ReplyDeleteJudging from the fact that the op saw the nanny hit the boy with a toy on his head in public...leaves us all to wonder what goes on in private, and also the way the nanny spoke to the op, a person she had never met before, who was trying to be nice to her charge by inviting him to play with her son...would hint ot suggest she speaks to the child who she is comfortable with in a derogative way, seeing that the op was left humiliated and dismissed.
OP!! GO TO THE PARK, LOOK FOR THEM, OBSERVE, THIS IS LIKELY TO HAPPEN AGAIN, THEN CALL THE COPS.
They would most likely write a report that would get back to little tike's folks.
V.
hey V.. you need to stop calling names..its rude!
ReplyDeleteif she went over to save him..she missed..leaving with your tail between your legs is hardly saving him.
My point is..fine..go over & save him or get someone (police) who can ..but running away with your tail tucked between your legs did not help the kid! She might have meant well but a well meaning call placed to the police would have most likley landed the kid with a new nanny by now and would have been a much better choice than trying to engage an already upset & mean nanny! It did no good and only left her feeling humiliated!
A curious poster,
ReplyDeleteThere is currently no state in the US that bans spanking completely, though there are several other countries that do. In fact, nearly half the states in this country still allow corporal punishment in schools, if you can believe it. Not sure where 6:35 is getting his/her info from, but spanking is not illegal. Moral or not is another question altogether, obviously...
7:01
ReplyDeleteI felt it was emotionally abusive the way she would hit him and then act like she hadn't done it. Not only is that demeaning, but it was undoubtedly very confusing. It was cruel and I'm sure it messes with him on all sorts of levels emotionally when that happens.
Apparently it isn't illegal. Here is an article i found on ABC
ReplyDeleteIn all 50 states, parents are legally allowed to spank their children. But in 29 states it's illegal for a teacher to practice corporal punishment, including spanking.
A Massachusetts nurse is hoping to change that and make the state the first in the nation to ban corporal punishment at home.
"I think it's ironic that domestic violence applies to everyone except the most vulnerable — children," said Kathleen Wolf, who wrote the bill.
Massachusetts lawmakers will consider the bill today.
Related
Vote: Should Spanking Be Illegal?WATCH: Banning Spanking
The very idea of the bill has stirred huge controversy, because many parents say the state is trying to take away what's been a tried and true method of child-rearing. As many a mom has said, "Spare the rod, spoil the child."
"We don't spank her, but I think that ought to be a parent's choice," one Massachusetts father said of the bill.
And one mother echoed the sentiments of many, saying, "I don't want the government telling me how to raise my children."
Nineteen countries have banned corporal punishment, and some child-rearing experts believe one day the United States will do so as well.
"I don't know if it's an idea whose time has come. But it's possibly one whose time is coming," said Lisa Berlin, a professor at the Duke University Center for Child and Family Policy.
Wolf has children and said she has "swatted my kids a couple times."
She says she's not recommending that parents who spank their kids should face jail time, as they do in Sweden, or fines as they do elsewhere.
"I don't think the idea is to punish people. I think the idea is to give them the support that they need," Wolf said.
What the OP described wasn't a "spanking"--that would be a moderate swat to the tush. What she saw was an assault on the head with a blunt object. And assault is punishable by law in any state.
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh i can't believe she talked to you that way. unbelievable. as far as what you should have done, that's up to you and what you feel comfortable with. if you aren't an assertive person then you did the right thing. i think posting her description on here was a good thing to do.
ReplyDeleteOP
ReplyDeleteI think you did the very best you could. Most people wouldn't have intervened, so please don't feel ashamed! That Nanny should!
What she did to that child was despicable.
Thank you.
Next time call the police. They will respond. They have to. This is assault. There is no reason the police shouldn't be called. You have nothing to lose and the boy has everything to gain.
ReplyDeleteIf the situation arises that is conducive to this, you could also tell the boy to tell his parents TODAY that the nanny hits him, and that other mothers have told him to tell his parents. If he happens to be very bright or very verbal this can help.
Another alternative is trying to get the home number for a future playdate. Then call the parents and tell them about what you've witnessed.
But by all means, CALL the police next time. The boy will be helped by your actions. Thank you for sticking up for him!
Good job OP for posting. I hope someone will see it and recognize your description of this child and nanny.
ReplyDeleteI tried to put myself in your position and I came to the conclusion that I would have called the police. She had absolutely no right to hit that child. That nanny has anger management issues, which is pretty common among AA nannies. It seems that AA moms and nannies think nothing of smacking their kids in the head for any sort of perceived infraction. On the subway one day, an AA boy, about 3-4 years old, knelt on the seat to look out the window. I saw him and thought of how cute it was that he wanted to watch things streaming by, as most children do. Out of nowhere, his mother smacked him hard in the back of the head and told him to turn forward. Another time, I was driving and an AA woman was crossing the street in the middle of the block with her kids against the light. As I approached and hit my brakes, she leaned back and pulled her about 3 year old to her (he was lagging behind and was almost hit by my car, which was her fault). As I passed, I saw her whack that little boy in the back of the head for not crossing faster. Tragic.
ReplyDeleteFor this sighting, I would have called the police and they would have contacted the parents. Really what it comes down to is that someone has to speak up for the defenselss.