Received Wednesday, October 24, 2007-Rant
I have been reading postings from this site for just about 2 days now and the postings are just horrific. There seem to be a lot of emphasis on nannies. A nanny's job is not an easy one at all. As with every thing else there is good and bad. Let's talk a little about some of the things that is expected from a nanny even when the following takes place.
A nanny is expected to talk nice to your kids even when you (parent) talk mean to the nanny.
A nanny is expected to feed your child fresh (organic) food even when you provide the nanny with left-overs from your meal at a restaurant or home delivery.
A nanny is expected to always be earlier for work even when you for some reason can never get home on time so the nanny can leave for home.
A nanny is expected to always be willing to stay later than expected even if they have their kids/family to go home to.
A nanny is expected to be able to survive and pay all her bills even when you parents choose to go on vacation and decides "no work no pay" for your nanny. (something she has no control of.
A nanny is expected to work on weekends and travel with you rich parents even if it means that they have to neglect their own family.
A nanny is expected to work a few free nights a week/month as the word says "free" with no expectations from you parents
A nanny is expected not to get paid for any sick day but you are given a number of paid sick days from your company every year.
A nanny is expected to leave her sick child at home or take him/her to the daycare with hope that the daycare will keep them only to get to work and see you at home because your child has a minor cough.
A nanny is expected to go out and buy food for your child at the store to replenish stocks in the cupboard even when you choose not to leave anything food for the nanny to eat.
A nanny is expect to clean your entire house and watch your child at the same time even when her wages are not even enough for doing either or.
A nanny is expected not to be seen sitting down at all even when she is tired notwithstanding at time when you get home early from work and choose to take a nap before sending your nanny home.
A nanny is expected to do additional work when your child is sleeping but when your child is up she is also expected to have some stored up energy to be able to sing and play with your child.
So you see, you parents out there think that despite whatever is done or however the nannies are treated (which no one seems to want to talk about) the nanny must look beyond this an just treat your children like princesses and princes.
Most of us do not know the half of how nannies are being treated and maybe we do know but think that its normal. Instead we choose to criticize them as they are the worse but still insist on hiring them.
The way a nanny treats a child is a reflection of how the parent treats a nanny.
I thoroughly enjoyed your post, and agree with more than most of it.
ReplyDeleteHowever while thats true, nannies such as the story below-the Hillsboro situation,exist. We're just reporting wrong behaviors. Surely you see that in these post,right?
Noone should EVER take something out on, or mistreat a child, regardless of whether their parents are jerks. If this is how your employer treats you, leave. What you describe is not a nanny position. If you are qualified to be nanny, you should not allow yourself to be subjected to the treatment you describe. If you are not qualified to be a nanny, you shouldn't represent yourself as one. My nanny has paid sicked days, vacation, and personal days and always gets paid if I don't need her to come in. She is in my home to care for my children only and I do not want her shopping, doing housekeeping or any other tasks that would distract her from that. I encourage her to rest during the few minutes of downtime she gets while my oldest is in school and the baby is napping. I shop for and provide whatever food my nanny places on the shopping list we keep on the fridge and leave petty cash for her for any expenses--including if she wants to order in food now and then. I do stay home if one of my children is sick, and I encourage her to do the same if her children are ill (afterall, as a working Mom, who better understands the needs of another working Mom). I never ask her to work overtime or travel with us. I respect her time with her family and I value the time with mine. I am not an atypical employer and she is a wonderful professional nanny, not a housekeeper who "baby sits".
ReplyDelete9:24
ReplyDeleteI think your the exception. I never met a person like you.
OP, great post! i also agree with a lot of what you have to say. 9:24 you must be out of your mind if you think that there are plenty of other families out there who treat their nannies like you do to yours! i would love to work for you, but i find it hard to believe that your actions really do contradict EVERYTHING that the OP states!
ReplyDeletecrazy talk here.
ReplyDeleteSo, a nanny treats a child based on how she is treated and when she treats a child badly, what is this? Revenge?
9:24--while that sounds like an ideal situation for both you and the nanny that you employ I think that many people don't have those perks. I work for a wonderful family but when they don't need me I don't get paid. This is still the number one cause of tension in our relationship, mostly o n my part because I am frustrated but also know that I am well loved.
ReplyDeleteto the OP-I love this post!
Interesting post OP, and much to agree with, howevere: Anyone who gets suckered into working for free is an imbecile. Some people will take full advantage of imbeciles, which they shouldn't, but nonetheless...
ReplyDeleteMy husband is in construction, and when a project gets rained out, he doesn't get paid for time he didn't work. Hourly jobs are like that, no matter what industry. If you work an hour, you get paid an hour, if you don't work, you don't get paid. The advantage of that is that you don't get suckered to put in 50% more hours than what's in your job description on "salary", thereby cutting your pay rate by 25%.
I suppose all the really rich parents you are ranting about get high salaries with full perks and benefits, but plenty of middle class people also employ nannies and it's unreasonable to expect them to privide benefits that their own employers don't provide.
basically, a**hole employers exist in all industries, and the one who used to be my boss was one who'd sucker everyone into anything he could get, wanted a nanny/hoousekeepr for probably $10/hr off the books (In the SF Bay Area!) and bragged that it would cost someone $15k to take him to court to get the $10k he was purposely screwing them out of.
9:24 here. It depends on the arrangement you and your employer negotiate. I have a neighbor who is a teacher and her arrangement with her nanny has always been that she does not work summers. That was part of her nanny's terms of employment and she found someone who that works for because she prefers not to work summers. Likewise, if you have an hourly arrangement with your employer, you shouldn't be expected to be paid for hours you don't work. That is not very common in my neighborhood. Most nannies are full time weekly salaried employees, and are paid a weekly salary, regardless of whether or not they are not needed for part of the week.
ReplyDeleteA nanny is expected to work a few free nights a week/month as the word says "free" with no expectations from you parents
ReplyDeleteI think this happens alot to Live-in nannies. The parents feel if the nanny is in for the nite its okay to leave the kids with them. Which is totally wrong.
LMAO
ReplyDeleteYou sound kind of crazy.
Don't work with children if you cannot seperate the actions of the parents from the treatment you provide the children. I am a teacher and I have many parents that are just reprehensible beings, often demeaning and demanding. I treat their children as individuals. You have to.
Also, I don't know any nanny in my area who has a job like yours. You sound like a housekeeper.
And anyone who gets sucked in to giving a free night a week IS BEING PLACED THROUGH AN AGENCY THAT REPRESENTS PARENTS and places idiot country bumpkins as nannies.
No one would ever go along with this.
And not to sound like a bitch, but why would a qualified nanny put up with these conditions? Nannies in my area- professionals are treated like gold. Their counterparts- the blah nannies are a dime a dozen. But everyone- parents, teachers, doctors, we all notice and tremedously respect the great nannies out there.
Are you one or not?
I have been a nanny, and now I am a parent. You make many excellent points and I am happy to hear someone defending good nannies everywhere. It is absurd sometimes how little we truly value those tending to our children! Teachers are another obvious case in point. Yet there are plenty of good arrangements out there for both nannies and employer-families. Personally, I am all about equal opportunity when it comes to fair criticisms. If there were a similar blog devoted to reporting bad parenting observed in public I would be reading and potentially posting to that just the same as ISYN! The good I would hope will come of a site like this is to correct and improve behaviours and relationships...most of all for the benefit of those children concerned. Perhaps a bit utopian, but dreams are what eventual reality is made of!
ReplyDeletenot all parents are like this with their nannies. But also, if that is how those people are treated it still doesn't give them the right to hurt/abuse/ignore etc. the children they are watching. The children are not the ones with the demands, it is their parents. If you are working for someone like that, you shouldn't be. And you should state things up front and have a signed contract. I agree with the other comments about hourly employees do not get paid for hours not worked. It happens to people who work at stores, restaurants etc and that is just how it is. But some of the other things, if they are truly happening I would not put up with.
ReplyDelete11:10,
ReplyDeletehttp://badmamas.blogspot.com/
Go at it!
She's right.
ReplyDeleteUnless you've been a nanny you should not reply to this post beacuse you have not walked walk.
I especially agree with the second to last one about what they go through.
ReplyDeletewhat i also want to say is the hilarity of some parents who in their ads say either of or all of the following:
we want a nanny who is
educated
fun loving
energetic
nurturing etc.
we are laid back,
open minded
but when the canidate comes out to be a guy its OHHH NOOO guys are this that and the other(anyone here blurts out the statistics thing... i got a few things for you on that, especially first hand experince from working with children who were abused, by both genders, friends etc.).. WERE UNCOMFORTABLE BY THAT... makes me wonder what you would do if you were discriminated agaisnt...
OR the classic UNCOMFORTABLE BY THAT soo youd be comfortable having a nanny who might be a potential child molester, is a lazy ass, and does EVERYTHING opposite of what you were looking for.. but meh your comfortable with her cause shes a girl...
also i wonder what youd say if your child was discriminated agaisnt in the same way...or when your kids (if it was your daughter) says I wanna be a doctor, a race car driver hypocracy kills dont it?
id love to take pictures of those hispanic nannies who are NURTURING etc. or lol at all this stuff. here.
in other words, from a male nanny, to a parent, listen to the OP, TRUE nannies come in all shapes sizes and OMG NOOO GENDERS!! ...
Nanny James.(yep thats right a DUDE!!)
11:06 yeah SURREE you do lol
ReplyDeleteNanny James.(yep thats right a DUDE!!)
I think we can all agree there are bad nannies and bad parents.
ReplyDeleteHowever, OP you sound like you hate your job and if that is the case, you need to find a new one. Ranting about it here will not help to change your situation. It seems that if you are going to accept your conditions then you need to shut up and go about your business. Otherwise, make a change!
You seem very well aware that you are with a stingy family who is taking full advantage of you. Why are you still there?
If you love yourself, then treat yourself with love...want more and get it.
Whoo Hoo!! Way to go, OP! I loved it and I agree with every word!
ReplyDeleteWhen a nanny goes on at such length about such banal things, I would hope she could at least make it rhyme.
ReplyDeleteIt just sounds like so much noise and nonsense. If you don't like your job, get another.
I totally agree with this post. I've been their. I am from a small town in Wisconsin and was a nanny in NYC for 5 yrs. I was young and niave. I didn't know the price of living was so high in NY. So when I took my nanny position I thought I was making a lot of money (which was in WI) I felt totally ripped off after living in NY for awhile and talking to other nanny's. I was also a live in and was taken advantage of just like this post says. I also had to stay past my working hours because the wife went out to the health club after work.
ReplyDeleteI am a parent now and I love my daycare provider. I totally respect her and pay her in advance. ( I had to wait several days after Friday to get paid)
OP, please note that idiot responder "Maggie" has included her picture, so you can dodge her if you ever get called for an interviewer.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate and support your post.
Oh, GOOD GOD!! I'm an in home child care provider......a nanny gets paid to do all those things and she should shut up and DO them. My job is TOTALLY stressful....it's what I signed on for. If your job description is too hard.....then find a different job. Go whine somewhere else. These past few sightings ARE horrific.....these women should NOT be in child care. PERIOD.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing.......the way a nanny treats the child should NEVER be the reflection of how the parents treat the nanny.......that child is INNOCENT! FIND A DIFFERENT FAMILY TO WORK FOR..........although I wouldn't want you working for me after your final statement!
ReplyDeleteYou take your revenge out on the child you are caring for because you have a beef with the parents?! You need a new profession.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I have learned looking at this site, highly qualified, trained, REAL nannies don't do these tasks, or put up with this nonsense. Only those who are underqualified, and therefore need to take whatever job they can get would need to stay in this position. The great ones (the only ones we should be entrusting our children to anyway) are apparently in very high demand. If the family they are working for mistreats them (which is probably kind of rare, since a good nanny is worth her weight in gold and they would want to keep her at all costs), there is a line of other families waiting to hire them and treat them better.
If you are not being compensated at your training and skill level, look for another job. If you are good, they will be lined up to get you.
I'm a professional nanny and love working with children(that's why I'm a nanny), all I will say is that of course there are employers out there who may try to take advantage but as a nanny you have to set some standards for yourself. Don't even accept a job that sounds like the one in question and if things go down-hill once you are in the job start looking for something else...you don't have to stay somewhere where you are being disrespected and abused. But never ever allow the behavior of the parents to reflect the way you treat the children...they are innocent.
ReplyDeleteA nanny can quit too.
ReplyDeleteIf you are getting taken advantage of, it is your fault. If you do not feel your wages are appropriate for the work you are doing, speak to your employer. This is true for ANY position.
ReplyDeleteI would assume that one becomes a nanny because they enjoy being with children.
I respect my nanny for what she does for my child and for my home. I also respect her time as I pay for it. I would never expect her to do anything extra for free - I am her employer not her sister.
I do expect my nanny to do her job well. I am expected to do my job well - why should she be any different?
I assume she is happy with her wages, benefits and working conditions. She had input into her wages and benefits.
I am a nanny. I love my job and the family that I work for. But let me just say that, no matter how wonderful and nice they are, you'll always find yourself in a situation now and again where you are boing taken advantage of. I am not saying it is right, but everyone does it now and again.
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't understand is, why does the nanny expect the family to provide food for them? Since when does any job provide meals? Bag lunch people, even CEOs sometimes bring a baged lunch to work. And most parents feed their children better food than they, the parents, eat. Keep in mind that most people do not think outside of 'the box'. They feed you what they eat, not what their children eat.
You make a nanny sound like a slave-if all of those things are happening, then she should find a new job. Not everybody treats their nannies like that-i know lots of nannies who get paid sick days and vacation days, etc.
ReplyDeletei don't know what sort of nanny you are talking about, perhaps a live in?
You know I really disliked my neighbor (the one who can't stand to be in the same room as her stupid nanny) but you've tilted me over into absolutely despising her.
ReplyDeleteI've got to go call my husband and thank him again for having me stay home with our kids.
To clarify the neighbor thinks her nanny is stupid and annoying, not me.
ReplyDeleteYou need a new employer. We:
ReplyDelete- pay $1000/week on the books
- give 5 days paid sick leave
- give 2 weeks paid vacation
- give 7 paid holidays
- give our nanny a charge card for lunch
- pay 4 weeks year end bonus
- pay for nanny's transportation
- pay $20/hour for any overtime, including when we are 15 minutes late at the end of the day
Oh wait, sorry, we'd never hire somebody like you with such a crappy attitude. Enjoy life at the bottom of the heap.
Unbelievable, look at the advertisement I found on Craigslist. I hope this is okay Jane that I post this:
ReplyDeleteLIVE IN/OUT NANNY FOR 4 CHILDREN BERGEN COUNTY NJ IMMEDIATE HIRE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: see below
Date: 2007-10-25, 2:25PM EDT
IMMEDIATE OPENING!
Loving family seeks mature experienced live-in/out nanny for 5 or 6 days/week to care for our four children -- ages are as follows: 1 1/2 year-old son, our two daughters -- age 3 and 6 and our 8-year old son. Two children are in school and the nanny will be home with the 2 little ones. Individual must be mature, speak proper English or if Russian/English bilingual, English is not necessary. Duties include cooking, laundry and cleaning for children. This is a long-term position and serious inquiries only, please. We reside in Bergen County, New Jersey (NJ transit bus #161 from Port Authority). Driver's license not required. Solid, checkable references are required. All references and identification must be presented at the time of interview.
Work week hours:
5 days (Monday-Friday) 8:00 AM - 8:00 PM -- $400 to start;
6 days (Monday - Saturday) 8:00 AM - 8:00 PM -- $500 to start.
Call for interview (201) 390-7377. We reside in Bergen County, New Jersey.
Please read all of the details and the work week schedule -- if you cannot meet the above schedule, please do not respond to the ad. Only serious inquiries, please.
Location: Bergen County, New Jersey
Wow! $400 a week for a 12 hour day and you have to do laundry, etc.? That is appalling!
ReplyDeleteAnd whatever incompetent unqualified person takes the position will end up on this site when they are spotted out in public neglecting the 4 children. How about sending this ad to DYFS? Must be horrible parents.
ReplyDeleteKate in CO said...
ReplyDeleteOh, GOOD GOD!! I'm an in home child care provider......a nanny gets paid to do all those things and she should shut up and DO them.
Why are you so bitter towards nannies? You sound like a jerk and obviously are threatned by nannies.
Just because you except being paid peanuts to watch children in your home doesn't mean other child care providers such as nannies need to do the same. A professional nanny should be paid well to to do a good job and if she is being taken advantage of she has every right to complain. She doesn't however have the right to take it out on the children.
"The way a nanny treats a child is a reflection of how the parent treats a nanny"
ReplyDeleteI think this has been misunderstood because most nannies who are mistreated still love the children and do the best job they can. What she's saying is that it's a warning because there will be disgruntled, immature women who are hateful and have low self esteem to allow themselves to be exploited and it when i child is injured the parents will be equally share the blame for creating a dangerous environment and poor working condition. Let's hope that happens rarely though...
There are varying degrees of how a nanny can slack. If you pay a low wage/no bennies to a teenager or immature girl then don't expect anything beyond TV and snacking and be ok with it. Resenting someone you are paying only slave/minimum wages for not being some shining expanse of outdoor fitness and ECE units is not ethical and will create tension and resentment. If I was low income and had to get a nanny I would let my sitter know that all she had to do were the most basic things and ideally stay close to home. I thank god I do not have to make that choice.
Mothers on here don't seem to get that there and countless wealthy women who want to pay nothing for childcare.
If you are paying a living wage and all that goes with it then you should get what you pay for, agreed.Once again I'm floored by the thousands of parents paying nothing and expecting everything.
Treat the person who works for you the way you would like to be treated in her situation. That seems to me basic decency. If you do not feel that your
ReplyDeleteemployers are respectful enough, look for another job.
I think it's not always that simple. Our economy just took a huge nose dive so leaving a job or firing someone may not be possible. many (parents and nannies) have set out to amass things and in the process our children get bargained with.
ReplyDelete"The way a nanny treats a child is a reflection of how the parent treats a nanny."
ReplyDeleteI am a nanny and I totally disagree with this statement. No matter how craptastic the job is, you NEVER take it out on the child. EVER. I have had 2 jobs with parents from hell, but I never treated the children wrong. In fact, I think I went above and beyond with the kids and showered them with more love and attention because I knew how the parents were. Those kids were my sanity in those gigs.
You did have some good points in your list though. What we need to remember is that just as there are bad families and bad nannies, there are fantastic families and nannies out there. And in most cases, the good ones aren't talked about. Negativity sells.
Currently, I work for the most down to earth family. Their daughter is the apple of my eye. There is mutual respect, communication, realistic expectations on both ends and extreme trust. I am extremely lucky.
Economy Schmony
ReplyDeleteAnyone who works for people they don't respect or outright hate is a moron without other options.
I think parents should use nanny cameras just to ensure that their nannies aren't harboring this kind of agressive resentmenent against them.
New York is a Right to Work State.
Don't stay in a job you don't like, unless you are a criminal afraid your next boss will do a background check.
And the unemployment level is at record lows. Don't believe the liberals. There is work everywhere.
Dude,
ReplyDeleteI would so never hire you. Not even to mow my lawn. And by lawn, I mean...
1:53 PM that's a crappy attitude?
ReplyDeleteYou might want to check in with your kids. I'm guessing your nanny hates you.
OP, quit this job. When you interview for a new position discuss vacations, sick/personal days, holidays, and overtime, whether or not you are available to travel with the family, and whether or not you are willing to do housekeeping in additional to child care.
ReplyDeleteThese are all things that should be included in a contract. If you and the family can't agree on these things, DON'T TAKE THE JOB!
Anyone watch Oprah 10/25/07?
ReplyDeleteAll these beautiful, wealthy couples like Hedi Klum and Seal with three kids, jet set life tons of time to still have a love life. Oprah asked 'how they make it happen' do nannies get any credit on these shows? Never.
Hedi Klum sits there like a perfect wife and you see her with her kids but do they ever show a nanny? Noooo and she has TWO!
it's a pity because without one or more nannies these partnerships would be jokes and would cease to function. But does St Oprah EVER bring this up when she kisses up to the famous parents 'who just adore their kids?"
nannies should be given much more credit for keeping families and marriages functioning instead it's all hidden and guilty. So sad.
Heidi has 3 nannies. And her mother helps with the children 50 percent of the time.
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally agree. There is nothing wrong with having a nanny. Having a great person by your side is helpful. Sure better than frantic, bitchy, overworked mothers who dont get any time for themselves. Their husbands get time for themselves.
If you really care about children and the happiness of children, then you wouldn't judge anyone who surrounds their children with a loving nanny or extra help. As long as the parents are involved and connected to the children and the children understand that if they go to their parents, their parents will listen to them- who loses?
No one.
I think that when the op said how the nanny treats the child reflects on the parents, she didn't mean a nanny who abuses the child but simply an unmotivated nanny.
ReplyDeleteLike any employee,a nanny would naturally be more motivated and do more activities with your child if she were treated and paid well.
That's how the world works.
If you can't afford a nanny, then don't hire the first minimum wage ex-mcdonalds worker that shows up.
ReplyDeleteIf you hire shit, you get shit... and you deserve to go to prison for putting your child's welfare, and life, in danger.
10:57
ReplyDeleteExactly!
The OP is stereotyping parents just as s/he is accusing the readers of this blog of stereotyping nannies.
ReplyDelete1:50 makes a valid point.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with the OP when she says:
ReplyDelete"The way a nanny treats a child is a reflection of how the parent treats a nanny."
There are plenty of nannies that do rotten things to the children although the nannies are treated fabulously by the parents.
Nannies often do not know any better and do not think they are doing anything wrong. For example, look at the posting about the Barnes and Noble in San Mateo. The nanny was treating the boy terribly. However, she probably did not knowingly do harm. She is probably just too ignorant to realize how detrimental her behavior is.
I personally know some situations like this where the parents are fabulous to the nanny, and the nanny does ridiculous things like laughs when the child is uncomfortable or nervous or about to cry, instead of comforting the kid. The nanny thinks by not "indulging the child" the child will be better off. In reality, emotionally secure people are created by comforting the boo boos of childhood, being demonstrative with affection and generous with love, by supporting the the child and comforting them when they are sad or nervous.
It is not true that the way a nanny treats a child is indicative of the way the parents treat the nanny. Plenty of nannies are treated great, and they are simply ignorant of the proper ways to raise children, in order to foster healthy emotional development.
I think it is sad that children are often getting sub par care.
I also think it is sad that there is no super great national child care program in the US. Nannies or day care providers should be better paid and better respected professions, and if they were, then there would be stiff education requirements for people to be nannies and child care providers, and there would not be a need for a site like " I saw your nanny" because there wouldn't be sub par nannies out there raising the kids. In that scenario, the people that typically work as nannies today, would not be able to get jobs as nannies or child care providers because they would not be qualified.
It is sad that today childcare is such a low status and low paid profession.
743-
ReplyDeleteI have never agreed with any post on here so wholeheartedly as I agree with yours. I am a mother with three children and a full time nanny. Great post.
I am a mother and nanny and all I can say is..
ReplyDeleteI know these working conditions exist but I have to wonder why a person would allow themselves to be treated this way??? I certainly don't. As an excellent nanny with no shortage of work I pick and choose the families, days, hours and conditions I work under. I get meals with the children NOT leftovers. Most families offer to buy my dinner if its leftovers though I rarely accept, after all If I worked in an office my meal would not be paid for. I have a set time to leave and barring any emergencies, which will always come up, I leave at that time. If I stay late, I get paid, end of story. I never work for Free and I don't personally know any nanny who would. I am not expected to or asked to or agree to do any other work but care for the children. Out of respect for the parents, I will tidy up after them. If They nap, I may decide to do the dishes or straighten up because if I were working in an office or any other job (Which I did for over 2 decades) I was ALWAYS expected to work, there was never any down time other than my breaks. If the child was a little off and falls asleep and I am tired I may rest while the child naps by reading or relaxing. At my steady nanny job I get paid sick days and vacation.
Bottom line. A good nanny with great references should be working on HER terms, not the parents, there certainly is enough demand. If you are being treated this way ask yourself why you allow it and then do something about it!
How great it would be if our government required a high degree of education in order to become licensed as a childcare provider! What if we had a strict licensing policy with a stringent review process for renewal? How much better off kids would be!
ReplyDeleteI have lived in California and Texas. I have seen a lot of "nannies" (and I use that term very loosely) in action. What I have seen in droves are Mexican women who can't even be bothered to learn the language that their little charges speak, have no interest whatsoever in interacting with them, comforting them when they are hurt, or even treating them with a shred of dignity. They drag them around by their arms, swat at their little bottoms, and shoo them away crossly when their boo boos or questions interrupt their conversations (in spanish) with their other nanny friends.
In our country you need identification, a social security number, some sort of marketable skill, and sometimes a green card to get a job. People who are unskilled or unable to produce such documentation work as day laborers, diswashers, gardeners...and as nannies. Some people really take advantage of every opportunity to hire cheap, unskilled laborers...laborers who are so desperate for money that they will do ANY job they can get in order to get by. WHAT? This is the standard we are willing to set for taking care of what should be our most precious thing in life...our children?
If you are doing this to your children, shame on you!
"The way a nanny treats a child is a reflection of how the parent treats a nanny"
ReplyDeleteOP, the above statement makes you sound like a jerk. I was a nanny for many years and had my share of crappy parents. Still I was nice to the kids. The kids are innocent, and if you have any ill feelings toward the kids, you should not be in the childcare industry. Seriously, you seem very frustrated, and you should consider doing other things for a living. Stay away from children. There has to be something out there that you are good at.
I agree with 'Kate in Co', leave your job if you are not happy with it. If you are being held against your own will, call the police. It's rather silly that people apply for jobs and conditions that they cannot handle. Always get to the bottom of your contract. There is never a good reason to treat children poorly. Kudos to Jane Doe for coming up with this site.
This OP is clearly bitter. Maybe the bitterness is justified, who knows, but everyone has had a boss who was a jerk or not easy to get along with or too demanding. You still either do your job or you quit and find another one. This is just silly.
ReplyDeleteA good nanny will always have better options than this.
ReplyDeleteIn my neighborhood the best babysitters are paid more and more and more by families hoping to make it worth their while to be available when they call, because it is worth anything to them to know their children are safe and happy when they are away from them. Some families, even though they pay well, have trouble getting a babysitter simply because they are rude, or their children are ill behaved and the best babysitters have enough options and offers to take only the ones they enjoy. The crummy babysitters are lucky to get work at all.
Then there are many the families with spanish only speaking nannies, who likely pay very little, and their children are ill treated. But the good news for mom and dad in those instances is that they do not have to be around very often to witness or suffer the effects of their neglected children...and they have all of that extra money they saved on childcare to spend while they are out on the town!
(And no, I'm not generalizing. I SEE this all the time where I live, and it is very sad.)
Sometimes it helps to sit down with your employer and talk about these things. They may not even know you are feeling this way! As a nanny, I know that's hard to do, but it's really very important. If you have already done this and nothing has improved, then look for another job, discuss these things with your future employers and then write them into your contract.
ReplyDelete11:21pm, why are you so bitter about Heidi Klum and Seal not mentioning their nannies? Real professional nannies who specialize in high profile families are not out to get publicity. They get their 'Thank You' in the form of a hefty salary, health insurance, vacation, annual bonuses, and wonderful gifts of appreciation. If you are currently working for a high profile family and you are hoping that they will mention your name on national television, NOT gonna happen, & it's not required.
ReplyDeleteTo 8:43, thank you so much. It is nice to be appreciated. -- 7:43
ReplyDeleteSorry I did not have time to read any of the responses, but I wanted to respond to the last comment of the OP
ReplyDeleteTHis nanny does not treat her charges like her past employer has treated her- that would be plain wrong.
Since when are children to be blamed?
You would never know that my employers were not nice to me-because my care for the children never waned, and I simply worked to the end of my verbal contract (well actually a little past it- she actually wanted me to stay for 2 more years!!! the insanity!)
If you don't like your job, quit it but don't take your frustration out on children. It's that easy.
ReplyDeleteOP, feel better soon. You need some meds. Since when are children to pay for their parents' stupidity?
ReplyDeletekelly:
ReplyDeleteCome on! don't try to insuiate that!
And don't be such a twit!
What I meant if you can read is that the public is deluded and NEVER hears how nannies enable these couples to still have sex, get in shape and make their films. No names need to mentioned but jeez the fact they DO THE JOB DOES and it NEVER is!!
How many young girls with no money walking around envying Reese and Gwen think it's a peach to have a kid? They don't no that anywhere from 1 to 4 nannies are pulling the weight and holding up the workloads and child rearing in those households!
Believe me anytime those couples from Julia to Catherine Zeta etc etc grab the husband for some afternoon sex there is a nanny in the other room with the leapfrog music machine trying not hear them.
Oprah avoids certain key elements of celebrity reality because she's a mega consumer and very materialistic.
The turth should be out there: behind ever power couple with kids is a great nanny!
Any nanny who is working for high profile families and expects to be thanked on national television is totally delusional. All bitterness will not make things better for any self-centered spotlight-hungry nanny out there. Of course is it a no brainer that there are a dozen helpers or so behind many celebrities, but for crying out loud, do they have to thank the nanny on national television? Go get your own spotlight, and quit being a leach. Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteI have to say I do see the hypocrisy of these celeb couples who probably spend VERY little time with their kids unless there are paparazzi about. To give the impression that they are just super capable and every aspect of life is a breeze, when in fact they never have to lift more than one finger at a time to do ANYTHING, unless it's during their daily workout with their in-home personal trainer, is just plain phony and dishonest. Why not just say, "yes, I am quite busy in my career but thanks to the people who keep my house clean, cook my meals, run my errands, pay my bills, drive me around, carry my luggage, apply my makeup, style my hair, coordinate my social life, and take care of my children (minimum 1 nanny per child of course), I get to spend as much time with my spouse and my children as I *choose* to.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of like, if you color your hair, get bi-monthly botox treatments, annual cosmetic surgeries and spend $1000 a week on salon visits, pretending that you just have good genes that make you look 10 years younger and that you roll out of bed looking gorgeous every day. You'd be lying.
i would like to thank the pharmaceutical companies that make the medications that help stabilize psycho nannies who don't have the balls to talk to the employers about their true feelings.
ReplyDeleteKelly-
ReplyDeleteWhat the heck, I'm a stay at home mom, and you are kind of a bitch.
"of course is it a no brainer that there are a dozen helpers or so behind many celebrities, but for crying out loud, do they have to thank the nanny on national television?
You do not want to face facts honey, it's not a no brainer and should not be invisible. The fact that you are spewing so much venom needlessly and emotionally just shows how right you know I am.
"Go get your own spotlight, and quit being a leach."
You are in some other world, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Bottom line: if most men and women who are in power couples or even just successful high earning partnerships new they'd be sharing their 'connubial bliss' with another female and what that means most would opt out of having kids.
Many of the men definitely do not want kids-you can tell-they just do it like conditioned rats and as soon as the wife's body fades they move to a younger one. Seal and Hedi Klum will definitely part ways within the next five years-it's a given.
Not having them at all would not be such a bad idea for many of these celebrity parents.
"the pharmaceutical companies that make the medications that help stabilize psycho nannies who don't have the balls to talk to the employers about their true feelings."
ReplyDeleteThey don't exist. They are too busy pumping drugs to all the diabetic, obese, sexless and change 'o' life parents.
cali mom rocks!
ReplyDelete"but for crying out loud, do they have to thank the nanny on national television?"
ReplyDeleteYES They should. Christ, they thank their TRAINER, makeup artists and their dietitians!
Guardian of the terrible sercret are you Kelly?
12:19am, I am just saying that celebrities should not feel that they HAVE TO thank their nannies on national TV. Why are you so bitter? We all know that they do get a lot of help. Why are you so intent on them disclosing their private lives?
ReplyDelete12:17am, re: pharmaceutical companies, LOL!
What terrible secret?
ReplyDeleteI think they should all thank GOD. You all should thank GOD for all the things that he does for you on a daily basis. You all are thankless sinners who can't even thank GOD for the air you breath. Go repent and ask for forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteto the knucklehead above:
ReplyDeleteWhat makes you assume we are thankless? Or... that we are sinners? However, right now, I shall thank God that I know how to spell and that I am not a dumb cluck like you!
Athiest much?
ReplyDeleteStupid much?
ReplyDeleteAtheist... sound it out dummy
and btw, breathe....
I agree with 12:35am. Before they thank anyone, they should thank their creator. I am thankful by the way. I can't believe you people are fighting about who to thank when the answer is right in front of you: God. Hairdressers, nannies, personal trainers were all created by God, so quit bickering and go to sleep.
ReplyDeleteAnother dumbass chimes in
ReplyDeleteThis blog is really happening! Thankless Sinners LOL! Yo all need meds, including the religious fanatics, the bitter nannies, and the even more bitter SAHMs.
ReplyDeleteAnd
ReplyDeleteyou need to bumble on out of here, bumblehead fool.
11:14 and behind every truly succesful, trendy and always caught up female is an extraordinary personal assistant!
ReplyDeleteI'm a personal assistant and I must disagree with your theory. But thanks, all the same.
ReplyDelete" I am just saying that celebrities should not feel that they HAVE TO thank their nannies on national TV. Why are you so bitter? We all know that they do get a lot of help. Why are you so intent on them disclosing their private lives?"
ReplyDeleteThey disclose everything else including their vaginas w/out underwear so why not the person raising their kids once and awhile?
1:33,
ReplyDeleteThat must be a reflection of you and the contribution you make to your employer's life. My PA has been indispensable to my family, my career, my children and without her; you probably wouldn't know my name!
And behind every Fortune 500 company is a hardworking mailroom employee. It's time we all got thanked. I will start by thanking my first grade teacher, my prom date Sonia, Jose who cuts my hair, Peter who always fixes my printer, Tatiana who always works long hours cleaning the offices, and Ms. Julie for always walking my dog whenever I am working late.
ReplyDeleteway to undervalue the personal contribution nannies make to people's lives every day. I say this as someone who has a good nanny now, but previously employed one of the best. And my quality of life is most definitely different. This is a reflection only of what Nanny "X" brought to our lives every single day.
ReplyDelete1:37, Even with her, I wouldn't even know your name, nor would I care. I have no desire to usurp my employee's tremendously successful image. And that is why I get paid what I do.
ReplyDeleteI am a nanny for a celebrity family, and I don't want them mentioning my name anywhere. it's hard enough having friends who are constantly bothering me to get them autographs. I love my host family, and the fact that they respect my privacy.
ReplyDeleteYou seem to "get it". I am content doing what I am doing and being as anonymous as possible.
ReplyDelete" I am just saying that celebrities should not feel that they HAVE TO thank their nannies on national TV. Why are you so bitter? We all know that they do get a lot of help. Why are you so intent on them disclosing their private lives?"
ReplyDeleteWord! I am a celeb nanny too, and if my boss says anything that gets the paparazzi chasing after me and the kids, I will be livid.
You are all over the place with your comments. I acknowledge my PA all of the time. That doesn't mean I give out her first and last name. You truly sound like someone very far from the celebrity circuit, because what you say makes no sense. Do you really think that the person who suggested nannies might be acknowledged meant that a celebrity should go on TV and say, "I would like to thank Penny Jones, age 23 and originally from Duluth , MN" or do you think she just meant that celebrities and other people should acknowledge the fact that we/they are fortunate and have help. It's dishonest otherwise! No one is saying to give out anyone's name. It is too late and I cannot believe I took the time to explain that to you!
ReplyDeletePeople should thank whoever the Hell they want to thank. It's their success. And thank yous can be rendered privately.
ReplyDelete1:51am. Where have you been? You should have gotten here hours ago and sorted out this mess. You made a whole lot of sense in a few words.
ReplyDeleteSincerely, 1:50am.
1:51am. Where have you been? You should have gotten here hours ago and sorted out this mess. You made a whole lot of sense in a few words.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
CELEB NANNY @ 1:50am
I think what no one get's is that no names need to be mnetioned at all. The media needs to simply quit acting as if these parents are pulling off these power relationships effortlessly "Oh we make it work, we are a team."
ReplyDeleteLet's face it, if they were asked how essential is you nanny they'd never get an interview-the truth hurts.
Most celebs are so incredibly fake and just disgustingly shitty parents.
Speaking of which you are all such liars, everyone sitting behind their computers is just making their personal crap up. If this was real forum you'd have to log in.
Celebrity BS.
With all of the people reading this blog and all of the press the blog has gotten, it is hardly a stretch to imagine that a celebrity nanny has been here.
ReplyDeleteI think you are the same person who posted the slavery crap and you are just a vile human being.
As an OB/GYN, I should be thanked by many celebs, nannies, working moms and SAHMs for prescribing the Valtrex that keeps them rash-free. The 'Thank Me' police should consider me too.
ReplyDeleteYou mean itchy blisters. Those hurt. Thanks for all your work.
ReplyDeleteand Carlos for keeping my bush maintained and back lawn cropped.
ReplyDeleteI know for an absolute fact that Julia Roberts' nanny frequents this blog.
ReplyDeleteJulia Roberts pays her nanny more than all the parents on here combined to the power of ten.
ReplyDeleteI very much suspect that 2:20 was written by "she who shall not be named."
ReplyDeleteWhoever knows how to alert Jane Doe might want to let her know.
You would think that if she wants to be on here badly enough that she keeps in sneaking in with different names, or anonymous, she might at least change her writing style, or make less stupid comments so she wouldn't be so obvious.
OK, let's just get this over with once and for all...
ReplyDeleteEverybody out there who imagined, before reading all of this nonsense, that celebrities live their fabulous lives without the help of a lot of personal staff, please raise your hands!
Anybody? Anybody?
Nobody?
Thought so.
It might actually be a bit offensive to hear celebrities on talk shows ranting on about how they have people hired to do every little thing for them. We all already know that they have fabulous lives, as far as not having to be bothered with the chores and errands that most of us regular folk do. So what's the point in them mentioning their staff? A waste of valuable air time for something we all already know...and it just might come off as bragging to boot.
9:58pm, I love you :)
ReplyDeleteTell Jane Doe what?
ReplyDeleteAnyone polite who posts anonymously and follows the terms of use is allowed on here.
3:51, with your comment following the ones about OBGYN and Valtrex, I first had a completely different unde3rstanding of your post than what you probably intended!
ReplyDeleteI think you understood correctly what 3:51 meant . . .
ReplyDelete3:51pm made a lot of meaningful points ;-)
ReplyDeleteI think 3:51 meant Carlos who works at the spa.
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you to the OP for this incredibly important and accurate post!
ReplyDeleteAny employer who mistreats their nanny should be deprived of her services.
Once again...nannies must unite and unionize!
It's truly the only solution to regulating and standardizing workplace conditions for nannies in this country.