Received Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I'm very glad I decided to spend time with my nephew today because I actually witnessed one of the most appalling nanny episodes of my life. (10/23, 11:30 AM) I've never posted before, so please forgive me if I didn't follow the posting sequence. It was time for lunch, so as my nephew and I were leaving the park, an older Ford Taurus pulled up. While the music was rather loud, I still heard a baby crying. Already I'm thinking "Wow, this is pretty messed up". So, me being the nosey person I am, I didn't rush to put m nephew into his car seat. A tall ( maybe 5' blonde wearing skinny blue jeans, a bright yellow T-shirt, tennis sneakers, and a horribly orange tan, jumps out of the car with a lit, almost finished cig. hanging from her lips, cuts me a snotty look, and flings the back door of her car open where the baby was sitting. So I walked to the other side of my car to put my nephew in his seat-meanwhile watching her ever move because she seemed "weird"...
(My windows are tinted, so I could watch her, but she couldn't see me doing it) Anyway, I watched her snap the baby ( of about 5 months) up from her seat, throw her cig. down, blow the smoke in the baby's face, and heard her tell the baby to "SHUT THE FU** UP!". The baby kept on crying, she was absolutely miserable. The nanny put her hand over the baby's moth, kept declaring the baby to shut-up, and then her cell rings. She answers "WHAT!" I guess the person asked her what's wrong because she said "Nothing, this dam*ed Ni**er baby won't shut-up!...Ok, BYE!" she hung up, threw the phone onto the seat, and proceeded to pluck the baby's head, and still said shut-up! Then she said-to the baby mind you-"I'm not going to babysit you anymore, you're so annoying and ugly!" So I'm a nanny, and professional child care provider, I also work for child protective services. I gave my nephew a kiss, a snack, a sippy cup, rolled down the windows,turned on the music for him and told him I'll be right back. I went to this chick and asked her if everything was OK because I saw her hit the baby. While she was claiming she was playing, I studied the baby to check her for damages and anything else that could be wrong. The girl was holding the baby carelessly and she was still crying. I asked the girl where the baby's parents were, and she said none of my damned business, kept walking to the swings, and walking away from me. At that point I couldn't follow her, my boy would have been out of my sight, and I was putting him or the baby in danger, but trust me, she was about to get her a$$ beat! So I left her alone, made sure to copy her license plate, color make and model,and took pics with my camera phone. The woman watched me yelling "WTF are you doing, get away from my car.!" I told her I was minding my business, and the baby's, and proceded to call DYFS, and the police. After I knew they were coming, I left. This woman, people, was abusive, racist,neglectful, and disgusting. I'm sure she will be terminated...I can't believe what I saw, but at the same time it was a blessing.
I'll find out later on today what happened. I truly hope this woman was arrested, for I would hate to learn that she is babysitting for another unknowing family. It's upsetting to wonder how long this infant has been undergoing so much abuse, and she could very well have been the type of nanny the posed in front of parents. Therefore, we can't use the usual "Pay your nannies well, do research" comments, because we don't know. I'm sorry for the typos and spelling mistakes, I'm a bit shaken up. BTW, the baby had on the cutest pink suspenders. she had curly black hair, she was med. brown, with the chubbiest cheeks, and dimples when she cried. I wanted nothing more than to hold her, but I waited for authorities. Thanks for listening.
You did a great job OP. Please update us when you find out how the police handled the situation. She very well could be the kind of person who shakes a baby to death, you may have saved this poor baby.
ReplyDeleteI want so badly to believe that this is made up.
ReplyDeleteI want to think that people like this don't exist.
OP I sure am glad you were there.
Sickening.
FINALLY!!! A posting where someone actually did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteAwesome OP. You took the high road. Lots of people can learn from you. Good work!
I wish more "witnesses" to this type of behavior took action like you did. It's one thing to post on here, it's another thing to do something about it. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteOP-
ReplyDeleteYou did everything correctly. I witnessed something once and reported it here. I felt unable to involve myself because I am a nanny and was watching two children under three at the time. It doesn't mean I didn't regret not finding the right thing to do. Please don't discourage people from posting here- if they didn't act at the time. Most of them, like me probably have second thoughts. Hindsight is 20/20.
Op, congrats and please update us on this situation.
O.P. Keep us up to date to what has happened. I am glad you were there, some people turn the other way.
ReplyDeleteJust be careful next time, you never know if she had a knife or gun. She sound like a mad person.
Take care
The woman needs to be smaccked. What a horrible excuse for a babysitter. I just hope she didn't abuse that poor baby more after this encounter though, out of fury at someone confronting her. But still great that OP took action I think. I do have to ask what you meant, OP, by she "plucked the baby's head"? Pulled her hair? And what is DYFS?
ReplyDeleteOP,here. Thanks for listenng you all. Because I'm a foster parent, I couldn't get all of the information. But I was told I did the right thing,the nanny was discharged w/o question, and because there's no proof, she wasn't charged. I'm anonymous,of course, to the parents. Most likely they'll get their "hand spanked" for not choosing better child care. This was very upsetting and I truly wish I thought of recording it on my phone.
ReplyDeleteWait, wait- let's back up here. Op did two things- she said something to the woman and had enough that she could call the Cops/Family Services. This is HUGE!As a child who grew up in the care of an abusive grandmother, I want you all to know that grandma occasionally smacked us in public. And then, if someone said something, she would turn on the charm and start talking about my mom (who died of an overdose) and how hard it was on her to raise the children and how stressful because we weren't raised right. In the end, the person who said something to her was apologetic and patting her back. Back in Grandma's Buick, as we pulled out of site, she would say, "you wait til I get you home, embarassing me like that- I'm going to beat your ass raw".
ReplyDeleteANd it was not an empty promise.
Please be careful when intervening with unbalanced caregivers. Yes, call the authorities- but be mindful of what could happen to the child after you are out of site-if the child is alone with the caregiver.
Op here.
ReplyDeleteCali mom. Plucking someones head(I'm sorry, I didn't know how to describe it earlier) is when you have that first joint, or tip of your middle finger sit in the middle (kind of) of your thumb to kind of make the letter "O"-and release the middle finger with force (which varies, depends on the amount of force you use-it can hurt)onto any body part. In this case she plucked the baby in the forehead(This really f'ed up my day btw, I am so hurt).
DYFS is the acronym for Division of Youth and Family Services.
Thanks for the update, OP. We need more like you... thousands more who will stand up for our children.
ReplyDeleteMelanie, you're right about me leaving. I think that was an awful mistake on my part. Like, seriously,that coould have turned out completely awful..completely. The baby is ok,though.
ReplyDeleteYou are, by far, the best OP I have ever seen on this site. Good for you for being so caring and getting so involved. Please update us if possible.
ReplyDeletegood job. I hope more people report things they see and post. I still think posting is important because I have heard of cases where not all CPA follow up or do something. But I hope that is rare.
ReplyDeleteSorry...I didn't see the update before I typed that last comment. Still great though.
ReplyDeleteOP, thanks. I see what you meant now.
ReplyDeleteDid the parents get notified by the police of this incident at least, even if there wasn't enough evidence to charge her with anything?
There was a comment by the OP in an update that said something about the parents getting a slap on the wrist for not providing good enough childcare....I want to know...how the hell would the parents know of these kinds of incidences unless OP said something to begin with. Yes...great job with regard to reporting the nanny OP.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the intentions of this blog, this OP and others like her, but realistically speaking- a very good percentage of parents knowingly handles subpar childcare just to save money. Some women with money hire subpar childcare just so they don't have to compete with super nanny. So the parents are LIABLE or should be LIABLE in about 50 percent of the cases. Maybe more on this blog because I think most of these nannies mentioned here have to be employed by half wits.
ReplyDeleteGood job OP! I am so ecstatic to hear that this beast of a nanny has been fired, you may have just saved this beautiful babies life! I bet the parents are thanking God for you tonight!
ReplyDeleteOP here-
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the resounding praise. I'm truly just thankful I was there at the right time. I'll see what I can find out this morning for you guys.
Great job, OP!!!! AWESOME!! PLEASE....if you can, post the picture! This idiot could go looking for another nanny position while she's even up on charges for abuse...(hopefully she will be charged)...a picture could alert others to her identity. I wish the world had more people like you in it. (Hey.......we call plucking "flicking"....my oldest boy used to do it to my youngest. LOL! He didn't hurt him.)
ReplyDeleteAccording to an earlier post by OP, this horrible person is not being charged, for lack of evidence. This means she is free to go screaming profanities at, and flicking, any poor child whose parents are unfortunate enough to be duped by her.
ReplyDeleteOP, is it possible you could get her name,or the name of the family who had hired her?
I was very sick when pregnant. I tried to hire a Nanny to be in my home with me so that my kids would at least have somebody to play with and cook them good meals as I was busy vomiting.
Somebody recommended a nanny who had just finished working for a neighbor. I interviewed her and she played very sweetly with my kids in front of me. I would have hired her, but before I could, another neighbor got wind of our interview and called to warn me that this woman had worked for her and was a complete phony in person and that I should never let her around my kids. Sometimes you just cannot tell in an interview. I'm sure she would have been sweet in my presence every time. Really, who is going to scream at, or hit, your kids in front of you and expect to get/keep a job? Nobody. Scary.
Do not choose "subpar child care". How exactly can you tell that someone is going to be abusive or not, especially as a new parent? It takes time and experience to be able to judge people.
ReplyDeleteHow to avoid sub par child care.
ReplyDeleteSpeak EXTENSIVELY with former employers. Did the children love her? Even a young baby will get excited and laugh when a nanny he/she has a good time with arrives at work. Did she put effort into planning fun and stimulating activities? Really, a parent should be able to tell if the woman enjoys her job, and the children are happy with her.
Has she taken ECE courses, or does she read child care/development books, did she take CPR certification on her own? This will indicate that she takes her responsibilities seriously, and wants to do a good job.
Drop in unexpectedly, and ask friends, neighbors, teachers, who have a chance to observe her what they think.
It is hard for me to believe the employers of the horrible care givers described on this site did their due diligence. Perhaps they were too trusting, or didn't know what a good nanny should be doing, but I'm afraid in some cases, they were looking for the cheapest and most flexible hire.
A Nanny
There was a comment by the OP in an update that said something about the parents getting a slap on the wrist for not providing good enough childcare....I want to know...how the hell would the parents know of these kinds of incidences unless OP said something to begin with. Yes...great job with regard to reporting the nanny OP.
ReplyDeleteIf the parents DON'T KNOW, they have NO BUSINESS leaving their children with anybody! There are too many bad people out there to be "reasonably sure," "pretty sure," or even "almost positive" that their childcare provider is one of the good ones. As parents we are 100% responsible for the care and safety of our children. When a parent hires somebody else to do their job, whatever happens to the kids is 100% their own responsibility. There is no "getting duped." Your children are completely innocent. Anything that happens is YOUR responsibility. If you "had no idea," you had no business taking that first step out the door.
ReplyDelete12:43: 100% right!
ReplyDelete