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Received Monday, August 6, 2007-Rant
I'm a nanny in Ireland with over ten year's experience. Living in Dublin is incredibly expensive and nannying pays well, so when my best friend tried to move to Dublin for college I suggested she become an au pair. That way she'd have somewhere to live (as well as being mind-numbingly expensive, very few landlords rent to students) as well as a job. She had no experience with children, but I trained her myself and had her help me with the children I look after, and I would NEVER have suggested the job if I thought she wouldn't be good at it. (I have another friend who needs a job and asked me about childcare, but I told her no. She'd hate it.)
She was employed and given a place to live by a wealthy family and things were fine. She got on well with the little boy she was minding, and she got used to the baby quickly. She had some housework to do but she didn't always get it done on time because the baby was teething and took up a lot of her time. She didn't go out much (her only friend in Dublin is me and I have my job) and she never stayed out late.
Then last week, completely out of the blue, my friend's employer complains about how she washed the windows and told her the ironing was substandard. Then she made some comment about the house being tidier before my friend moved in. Basically the woman fired her on the spot. She hadn't given my friend any hint that she'd been unhappy with her performance, nor did she give her a chance to improve. My friend was very, very upset and had to wait till the next day to move out because her family are so far from Dublin. (She couldn't even come to me for help because I was at the other end of the country visiting my family.)
The woman in question also mentioned she had someone else moving in who wasn't asking to be paid. When I heard that, it occurred to me that she was just looking for an excuse to get rid of my friend because she didn't want to pay her. This woman was quite wealthy, living in a huge house and both her and her husband had good jobs. How could anyone be so cheap? I'm furious on my friend's behalf because she actually thinks she did something wrong and it's put her off childminding. I've had my fair share of bad employers but I never came across anyone quite so heartless.
I'm a nanny in Ireland with over ten year's experience. Living in Dublin is incredibly expensive and nannying pays well, so when my best friend tried to move to Dublin for college I suggested she become an au pair. That way she'd have somewhere to live (as well as being mind-numbingly expensive, very few landlords rent to students) as well as a job. She had no experience with children, but I trained her myself and had her help me with the children I look after, and I would NEVER have suggested the job if I thought she wouldn't be good at it. (I have another friend who needs a job and asked me about childcare, but I told her no. She'd hate it.)
She was employed and given a place to live by a wealthy family and things were fine. She got on well with the little boy she was minding, and she got used to the baby quickly. She had some housework to do but she didn't always get it done on time because the baby was teething and took up a lot of her time. She didn't go out much (her only friend in Dublin is me and I have my job) and she never stayed out late.
Then last week, completely out of the blue, my friend's employer complains about how she washed the windows and told her the ironing was substandard. Then she made some comment about the house being tidier before my friend moved in. Basically the woman fired her on the spot. She hadn't given my friend any hint that she'd been unhappy with her performance, nor did she give her a chance to improve. My friend was very, very upset and had to wait till the next day to move out because her family are so far from Dublin. (She couldn't even come to me for help because I was at the other end of the country visiting my family.)
The woman in question also mentioned she had someone else moving in who wasn't asking to be paid. When I heard that, it occurred to me that she was just looking for an excuse to get rid of my friend because she didn't want to pay her. This woman was quite wealthy, living in a huge house and both her and her husband had good jobs. How could anyone be so cheap? I'm furious on my friend's behalf because she actually thinks she did something wrong and it's put her off childminding. I've had my fair share of bad employers but I never came across anyone quite so heartless.
i am sure your friend did a good job...they just found someone for free...so i hope this other free nannie is lazy so they will lern. "YOU get what you pay for"..
ReplyDeleteon the other hand i have a newborn and often dont finish all my daily chores i set for myself...its always an other day.
i wish your friend good luck hope she finds something else soon ( and better)..
"what goes around comes around "
Do they have contracts in Ireland? I don't understand people who take nanny jobs, don't sign a contract, and then get upset because they got screwed. You need to prepare for these things by having a contract.
ReplyDelete" someone else moving in who wasn't asking to be paid"? The new nanny is out to get the wealthy woman's husband. That is why she is willing to work for free.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above poster about having a contract. However, it seems that concern for your friends feelings are more important at the moment.
ReplyDeleteI am really sorry for your friend that her first experience was not a good one. You seem confident that this is a job she does well ... please don't let it get in the way of her trying again. There are always going to be "bad apples" - and she bit into one. Keep encouraging her.
By the way ... you are a great friend for helping her out like you did. Kudos to you!
May I also add a note to Employers: STOP making your Nannys clean your house! Hire a maid. They are there to take care of your children, and whatever messes 'they' make.
ReplyDelete~ SAHM
no kidding. i made it clear in my last interview that i was not at all interested in a housekeeper/nanny position so they stealthfully hired me to be their housekeeper, disparaged me constantly about everything including my housekeeping, so of course i quit. if you need a housekeeper, hire one.
ReplyDeletepam
I'm a Nanny too and after reading this post I really feel for the friend because almost the EXACT same thing happened to me at my last job (which was also my first nanny job) so I know JUST how she feels. Luckily *I* now have a job with an absolutly WONDERFUL family who I adore and vice-a-versa and i'm VERY happy and I now know what a nanny job SHOULD be like.
ReplyDeleteHowever when my last job ended in almost the exact same manner (fired suddenly then found out they had hired someone behind my back who was going to work for less - in their case it was their neice with financial difficulties and no childcare experience :| ) I felt like it was all MY fault and that i was a BAD nanny (not true) and was totally put of the idea of working as one again.
However after being placed with a new, good, family I have never been happier (or more confident in my own skills).
So all I can say is that you should tell your friend that this happens to others too and that it's NOT her fault and that she shouldn't give up on nannying yet. At LEAST give it one more try with a new family!
When rich people get rid of their nanny suddenly and suggest it is about money, I doubt it is. Is it possible that your friend was just too good and made the mother doubt her parenting skills? Any employer with a live in employee has the ability to destroy them by firing them sans notice. I think it was payback for something else. I am not in Ireland but I have heard similiar stories here. Usually it comes down to the mother being jealous of the nanny. Either she is too hot or too great with the kids.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the lack of contracts... You're just asking for trouble... I am a nanny and did the cleaning for the first 6 months I was here but then had had enough and now we have a cleaning service come in... If they value you enough and want to keep you around then they'll work with you...
ReplyDeleteNo employer could ever make me clean. I just wouldn't do it. I was working for a family in Scarsdale and the father asked me if I would mind mopping the kitchen floor. I said, "actually, yes. but the gardener is outside, perhaps you can ask him".
ReplyDeleteHe just walked away with a confused look on his face. Like all men in Scarsdale. (The wives do all the thinking for them.)
**Another nanny "fired" for cheaper labor**
ReplyDeleteI have been nanny for 10 years and one of the families I worked for fired me after a month, for no reason--put me out of a job OVERNIGHT with no compensation and I had to force them weeks later to give me the last part of my pay...they were both lawyers, so you can imagine, AND we had a contract with a notice clause!!!!
I ended up meeting the new nanny, an illegal immigrant, with a beat up car (probably uninsured) and who knows what else...I cannot tell you how awful I had felt before I realized why they had fired me..My rates are high--but I also have a B.A. and early childhood education and a ton of nanny experience...
At first I felt soooo sick to my stomach and guilty, racking my brain for what I possibly could have done wrong in my job...it was such an awful experience and may those bitchy employers rot in hell. Now I work for an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G family so I won in the end--but I will never forget those nasty CHEAP lawyers...
How did you happen upon this site from Ireland?
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a great friend. Best of luck to your friend.
karma, kramer.
Nanny washing windows! I don't know about Ireland, but even many cleaning women won't do windows here!
ReplyDeleteYou are a good friend and I hope you can convince your friend to try another family.
The truth is, there is no correlation between a family's wealth, and how generous, or cheap they are.
I make it clear when I interview for a job that I do only child related cleaning. That helps in weeding out these types, and I end up working for families that value quality child care.
Yeah, as a mom, if I DID have to hire a nanny, or when I DID have a nanny for a short time, I wanted the CHILD to be the ONLY focus of the nanny. Unreasonable to say they are not allowed to make any phone calls etc but they have to do the windows and the dishes while they're supposed to be taking good care of your chil(ren). Makes NO sense to me.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Cali mom. I use to babysit for the nicest people here in New Jersey. When the newborn was sleeping they wouldn't care if I read magazines, watched tv, or I would play with the dog and cat. They were so cool they would be home sometimes and hang out all together with the baby. Worked for them part-time for three years, and they even used my sisters to babysit occasionally when I couldn't.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a nanny but if I did I would do the same. I wouldn't expect cleaning, babies and kids take alot of time. With my son now I only get to finish half my errands for the day. Because toddlers are so demanding.
I agree a nanny shouldn't be expected to clean the house for the family. I have a housekeeper who does that. The nanny is there to focus on and take care of the children, but I would not consider a nanny who says she does NO housekeeping at all. The kids make messes throughout the day and they need to be fed--so there are dirty dishes generated. I consider it part of the nanny's job to help the kids clean up any messes and spills they make, to clean up after meals, and load and unload the dishwasher. There is always some degree of light housekeeping involved when watching kids. That being said, the job described in the original post is ridiculous. I wouldn't even ask my housekeeper to iron--that's what a laundry service is for. And cleaning windows??? Did they want her to clean out the garage and weed the garden too??? Who did the piarents think was taking care of the children while their caretaker is scrubbing the house?
ReplyDeletenanny in charge of ironing and window washing!?
ReplyDeleteinteresting...
I was an au pair in Europe. Au pairs are only allowed to do light household work! This usually means cleaning up after the kids but some families (with older kids) will ask you to vacumn once a week/clean the kitchen/ do some dusting etc - usually something which doesn't take so much time.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about what happened to your friend. I don't think she'll have much problems finding a better family (host families are supposed to take you out and treat you like family!).
Message to all CHEAP, SKINFLINT employers of nannies and/or au pairs:
ReplyDeleteHonestly, folks...how do you live with yourselves?
I've seen selfish, materialistic employers pay their dog-walkers and car-detailers more per hour than they pay their nannies.
Who is more important...the person who shines your windshield or scoops your puppy's poop or the person who cares for your CHILDREN?
Either raise your kids yourselves (what a concept, huh?) or pay a decent wage for childcare! And do NOT bitch about it to anyone (especially not your nanny!!)
I recently met a nanny who makes $30/hour (she has one charge and works a standard 5-day work week). Most nannies DESERVE this kind of $$, but as we all know, few of them are ever paid so well.
Parents: get your priorities straight...your children are worth it (or maybe the truth is you don't really think they are).
^^^^part of the reason there's an active movement toward nanny unions.
ReplyDeleteHaving a nanny is rarely a "necessity". It's almost always a luxury. So if you can't afford to pay your nanny properly, you just can't afford to have a nanny at all. Deal with it.
OP; what does "wealthy" have to do with it. People who earn it can spend anyway they want to!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree that nannies should not be asked to do domestic work, other than caring for the children and their needs. I have never had a nanny, but I have had a cleaning lady and it would have never even crossed my mind to ask her to watch my children, so why should anyone even think of asking the nanny to clean the house?
ReplyDeletePRAYER OF THE NIGHTMARE EMPLOYER:
ReplyDeleteWhen I wake up tomorrow, I want to live in a magical world.
I want to hire a nanny to care for my children, clean my house, wash my clothes and cook my meals.
I want her to work long hours.
I want her to take her vacation only when I take mine.
I don't want to give her any money for gas or upkeep of her nanny car. I want to pay her minimum wage.
I don't want to claim her as an employee on my taxes. I don't want to give her medical or dental insurance.
I want to be able to treat her well or poorly, according to my daily whim.
I want to be able to fire her for no particular reason without any severance pay.
You know what else? I also want my doctor, lawyer, accountant and plumber to work under the same conditions.
I want to get something for nothing as often as possible. Why? Because I deserve it.
I know I do, because I was spoiled as a child by an indulgent parent who never told me NO and mistreated my nanny the same way I plan to mistreat mine.
Too bad nobody in the real world realizes just how special and important I am. In the magical world, I know they'll understand. And then I'll finally be SATISFIED.
Nanny's should be for the children! If they are expected to clean, they should be compensated for it!
ReplyDelete