I thought about whether to post this but even as I reflect on what I observed, I am uncertain I can properly describe what I saw this weekend. I am posting it because the name of the blog is I saw your nanny, not because I am certain that it was a BAD nanny. I observed a young European nanny or Au pair waiting in line with her charge who was a boy of about 9-11. He called her by her first name and she was definitely his caregiver. She had an accent and he did not. The girl was attractive, 5'4, 120, blonde hair, blue eyes, tan skin. The boy had light brown hair, cut longer in the front, was chubby, 4'11-5" and fair skin. The boy wore khaki shorts, a collared shirt and a sweater over that with boating shoes. The girl was wearing a red ss shirt with blue trim around the sleeves, tan shorts and black flip flops.The whole time I was waiting with my 6 & 8 year old son, we were distracted by this nanny and her charge. I kid you not- the whole time he was hugging her; burying his head in her chest. Everyone noticed this. The nanny was 22-25. It was such an odd sight. If this is your nanny, please talk to your son. Maybe your nanny doesn't know how to address this situation but it is just not right! These went on for about 15 minutes as he seemed to knead her breasts with his head. First his right cheek and then his left. And he was way too old not to "get it". Back and fourth. I couldn't help but stare. Everyone was staring. And the boy did separate himself from t he nanny's chest, when he looked down to see who was coming. They were clearly waiting for someone and he was not about to let Mom and Dad see him acting so inappropriately.
Great! A rapist in the making.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like the child is the one who's being bad. He obviously knows what he is doing and that it's inapproriate. Why doesn't the nanny say something to him? I'm sure his parents would not want him acting this way.
ReplyDeleteTalk to the son? I say, talk to the nanny also. She is supposedly the adult, and if she doesn't know how to address this situation, maybe she shouldn't be caring for a pre-teen boy.
ReplyDeleteYikes!
If this girl is an au pair then she is still, in many respects, a child herself. More importantly, she's a child who this family has taken responsibility for.
ReplyDeleteI do wish that the parents will get clued in to this situation so that it remains what I hope it is now, relatively harmless
I wish the parents would see this too! If parents properly supervised their nannies/employees and guided them correctly, perhaps we would not be put in this difficult and uncomfortable situation of "what should I do". Or "Should I do something". I think that is what this blog reflects. This post in particular reminds me of: http://tinyurl.com/cj3a4
ReplyDeleteWhile walking through a KMart store, a couple of years ago with my fiance', we were just about to go by a mother and her son, about age eight, who were coming the other way. All of a sudden, the little boy crossed over to me and grabbed my boob. Yes, I said "grabbed". My fiance' and I were speechless and the mother was absolutely shocked and embarrassed. She mumbled some kind of apology and I think she made him say "sorry". It's kinda of a blur in a way because all I could think of to do was make haste to get away from them. I, too, was embarrassed and humiliated. This sounds like a boy with the same "problem". These kids need help and the earlier the better.
ReplyDeletePerhaps this boy was autistic. I used to work with kids with autism and alot of them would do this type of thing because of sensory issues. Alot of autistic children look and sound completely normal so some behavior looks and seems shocking.
ReplyDeletethe op seems to have observed this for awhile. i doubt someone with autism would stop everytime he thought mom & pop were coming.
ReplyDeletei have yet to meet more than 3 families with au pair who knew how to treat the au pair. i can't imagine anything scarier for a young girl than to come to this country and sign away a year of your life to a family. if it works, it is great for everyone. most often it is but a blast of indentured servitude.
Autistic? Doubtful.
ReplyDeleteSick little Bastard? Probable.
This child could also have other issues, other than autisim. He could have ADHD, and as an ADHD child, we are "colorblind", that is we don't recognize "stop" and "go".
ReplyDeleteHe also may be going through "the stages", having normal fantasies about his nanny....
If ever there was an appropriate use of that emoticon.
ReplyDeleteCreepy. Scene sounds mortifying.
I am an earlychildhood education major and have heard of similar situations. One of my friends had a little boy in her class who gave her "hugs" and would put his face in that area. At first she didn't know what to do and all she had to say was " I like you hugs but not that close" It solved the problem. The little boy might not know what he is doing and the aupair might not know how to deal with it. It does not mean he is a "future rapist" or anything of the sort. Obviously both parties need to be informed of what is appropriate, but by no means is this a "problem" child.
ReplyDeleteI beg to disagree 8:51. You have NO way of knowing, none at all, that this is NOT a problem child. From this one incident, it would be impossible to tell either way, but none the less, it sounds rather sordid.
ReplyDelete1:09, I do have no way of knowing but as someone who works with children, I do not think that anyone blindly labeling a child is right. I'm not saying the child is perfect and yeah the story might sound a little out there to you, but I have heard of such things and this child is not the first child to act like this. The point of the original poster was to let the parents know of the situation, not to label the child.
ReplyDeleteYes, let's give the little perv the benefit of the doubt.
ReplyDeleteIf this was a male caregiver with a pre-teen girl and there was inappropriate activity going on, I doubt everyone would be so quick to blame the child! 22-25 is old enough to know better.
ReplyDelete1041-
ReplyDeleteding ding ding ding
and if you read that link listed as tiny url, you would see just why this is not okay.
i am still waiting for dateline and chris hanson to target all the nasty women out there who chase teenage boys. why hasn't someone complained? we know this is happening-just look at all the female teachers.
Child molesters are one thing.
ReplyDeleteSerial rapists and killers are another, and if you've ever delved into the background of these sick, depraved male killers, you will find commonality in their aberrant behavior. It usually begins very early on. To date, there has been but one woman serial killer and actually, she was a lesbian motivated by her need for money and didn't derive any sexual pleasure from her killing.
who said anything about serial killers?
ReplyDeleteWithout even seeing the link (the tiny url), I immdediately thought of the babysitter who watched an r rated movie with a 5 year old boy. Then according to her, he asked her to see her body, so she stripped down and let him see & touch her body. Nanny is laying ass naked on the sofa with the little boy inspecting her and MOM walks in home from work.
Scary!
If a young child is doing something "pervy" it's up to the adults to tell him it's inappropriate, especially if he has a disability since he probably won't pick up social clues on his own.
ReplyDeleteOne might consider that this child (which, at 9, is what he is) has never been reprimanded for such actions and hence might not be aware that such actions are inappropriate. It doesn't sound to me as though the adult in this situation (the 25 year old "victim") was doing much to discourage this behavior. For the record, I've never heard of a 25 year old being 'afraid' of a 9 year old. As the adult in the situation, she needed to act like it. As has been mentioned by others, if the gender roles had been reversed, no one would have questioned the child's behavior, but instead would have wondered what the man had been doing to make the child think what she was doing was normal and most would question why the man wasn't stopping it. There's the very real possiblity that this 'perv', as this child's been called, has been sexually abused and is exhibiting learned behaviors. Let's put the blame were it belongs, with the ADULTS, not with a child who's probably still enjoying the disney channel.
ReplyDeleteThis definately sounds like my kid brother. I'm older then the nanny, our father remarried a younger women when he divorced my mom, anyway neither my dad or stepmom have much to do with him, they are wealthy like to take trips nany and bro go on all these trips but just for show. Mitch (brother) has been homeschooled and kept from kids his age his entire life. The nanny complained one time but my father got mad at her and threaten to fire her for accusing his son of such behavior, then later I took Mitch to lunch and he told me that dad encouraged it. I then saw some of this activity on a family trip to england and Dad got mad at me, I haven't been allowed contact with Mitch or near their home since. It's not the Nanny's fault nor entirely Mitch's fault, it's my sick dad's for going along with this just to keep his status in society and admit his son might need help. My step-mother (also an innocent victim) called me and told me that he's worried what his golf club buddies will think if he has a nanny gate on his hands. She's currently working on getting the nanny another job and finding a manny to look after Mitch. For the record though Nanny had to go along with that because if Mitch is ever reprimanded for anything then God help her, my father would have a fit. He's nearly 11 and I'm worried about him and my father's sanity.
ReplyDeleteAnd on another note this might not even be my brother but it sounds like him, european nanny, the clothes, the airport (Mitch spends most of his life in airports) and looking to make sure his mom wasn't coming, yep that's him but I could be wrong, just know though that there's always a reasoning under the original story.
4:30
ReplyDeleteyeahhhh right!