Received January 30, 2007
I saw this individual yesterday, 01-29-07. I am not sure if it was the nanny/aupair or mother. This was the Manhattan bound Q train. I entered the train on Church Ave and the pair was already on the train. They got off at Atlantic Ave. What I saw was not some much abuse but the manner in which the nanny/aupair or mother behaved was unsuitable. The baby, a boy maybe 3 Year old was very tired and wanted to nap in his stroller. But the nanny refused to allow him to get to sleep. She grabbed him out of the stroller and made him sit next to her on the train seats. Poor thing was so tired that he began to fuss. She was mad. She didn't want him to even touch her. She could of been an aupair. I assume that she was taking him to meet his mother/father at work for lunch. He was wearing a brown jacket with a hood, with a pair of blue jeans and blue sneakers. The aupair was wearing tight jeans and a pair of rocket dog sneakers, black. The stroller was grey with black and the seating of the stroller was green. I couldn't find the brand name on it. Don't know how much more I can warn my friends about these aupairs. They are cheap, but the care they give to our children is the worst. These aupairs are young girls who just want to come to America and LIVE. They only take these jobs because they are given a place to live and few bucks to survive. many of them, the only thing they really want is a man to marry so they can stay in America.
Shades of Louise Woodard, the aupair/murderess from the U.K. If you think bringing aupairs in from the U.K. at the meager wages paid and with the dodgy qualifications they provide is dangerous, in the U.K., they bring aupairs in from Pakistan and other like places and these are mainly male as the women in those countries are, for the most part, stifled from anything remotely worldly. I shudder to think.
ReplyDeleteI understand and agree with you about aupairs.. though we don't know if this was the situation.
ReplyDeleteMore than likely, if the kid slept on the train he wouldnt take a nap again in the afternoon which ruined said caregivers "me" time....
I understand and agree with you about aupairs.. though we don't know if this was the situation.
ReplyDeleteMore than likely, if the kid slept on the train he wouldnt take a nap again in the afternoon which ruined said caregivers "me" time....
@@, your comments are ridiculous and baseless. you dont even know if the child was with an au pair.
ReplyDeleteI too, shudder to think. That cold and detatched style of "care" taking is a r e d flag, (whether an au pair, nanny or MOTHER).
ReplyDeleteIt is true that we do *not* know whether the caretaker in question is an aupair. However, my comments are not baseless with regard to aupairs. They *are* out there. Take heed and beware. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteThey *are* out there.
ReplyDeleteYou are so stereotypical, it makes me sick.
I'm an American Nanny in Atlanta, GA. Formerly from NY. I work in a prestigious neighborhood where all the neighbors use international au-pairs for their childcare needs. I can vouch that this does indeed happen, and that parents should be cautious when looking for childcare. I can also say, though, that au-pair agencies put their girls (and sometimes guys) through extensive training and screening. The pressures and stresses of being a nanny step over nationalities and cultures and it is rare to find a family that puts into full considerations the demands they put on their care-givers. Possible scenario of what you witnessed COULD have been a mother wanted to "show off" her child with "hired help" and called to interrupt the daily schedule set by the caregiver. I am NOT AT ALL condoning her behavior as appropriate or even watering it down. What I am saying is that sometimes (I would venture to say with my experience "more often than not" the parents using full time nannies and au-pairs alike put full responsibility on the caregiver to set up everything for their child/children including structure and discipline and health and well-being and provide the money for the au-pair to provide everything the child needs, and simply want to "show off" their nannies and children at last minute with say a quick call "Bring him in for lunch and make sure he's awake".. again, not condoning, but it HAPPENS. A LOT. So yea, hire a qualified, loving and responsible nanny, local or international. But keep their well-being in mind as well as your childrens'.
ReplyDeleteUhmmmm, The OP starts with "I am not sure if she was a nanny, an aupair or the mother of the child" but then at the end she is absolutely secure that is the aupair.This just sound like now that you are done bashing nannies now you want to start with aupairs
ReplyDelete"Don't know how much more I can warn my friends about these aupair". Looks like you are already prejudiced aganist aupair
I am an aupair and the care I gave to my three host children is the absolutely best and all the people who know them can tell, and not, I am not here for the money, for having a place to live or finding a husband. I am here to perfect my english and to grow professionaly and personaly like most of the aupairs I know.
The caregiver sounds unloving, but at the same time, how many of you have carried a dead asleep 3 yo in a stroller up a flight of subway stairs?
ReplyDeleteAs for the rant against au pairs, they are not nannies! The problems usually come from families not understanding what an au pair is...a student, who is to be treated as a member of the family, and help out like a big sister.
Stereotypical? I think not. Realistic, perhaps and a bit cynical. In this world, one needs to be.
ReplyDeletePerhaps their is a reason this child was not allowed to go to sleep. I have nannied for many families who are trying to eliminate naps for children around 3 years old for reasons of preparing them for school or even trying to ease bedtime routine.
ReplyDeleteI have known aupairs who were just as good as American nannies. And nannies who were just as negligent as the care provider described in this story.
My charge (4 years old) is not allowed to nap, unless he is ill, because he has a hard time going to bed at night when he does. This guideline has been in place since he was about 2.5 years old. It isn't an option for him to sleep in as he attends nursery school every morning. If he is tired, we have quiet time - stories, puzzles, coloring, movies, etc. Most of my charge's friends are also not allowed, or at the very least "strongly discouraged" from napping.
ReplyDeleteEspecially if it was an au pair, doubtful it was her call.
And as far as au pairs go, I will never hire one when I have kids. I know too many horror stories, mostly due to a lack of interest and training the au pair's part. I know that there are some really great au pairs, but most of the agencies seem quite lazy and I'd rather hire a nanny or babysitter whom I can interview in person and talk to (at least somewhat) local references.
yeah for 7:31!!! I used to drive to moms office 20 minutes away for the baby to nurse for 10 min total, to turn around and drive the 20 min back and try to keep 2 other kids awake for that hour excursion every day. It took everything I had to keep them awake, and at times I did get testy. Parents do have strange expexctations of nanny's, my rule of thumb... Don't ask me to do anything you would not do.
ReplyDeleteI can't pretend to understand what is so bad about this sighting. I understand the napping situation. I am wary of cold and unaffectionate people.
ReplyDeleteI would like to agree with OP about one thing. An au pair comes to live with you and is to be treated like one of your own. She is more like an older sibling. People who use an au pair to save themselves money are reprehensible. Additionally, I would never advise an au pair to come and care for a young child. With the right choice- an au pair might be great for an older child. For school aged children.
If you are going to leave your babies, you have an obligation to them. Not your pocketbook. If you can't swing great childcare, STAY HOME.
I am a working mom with a full time and a part time nanny. It makes me sick to see what some parents call "nannies" these days. When your children are chosing your nursing home, I hope they use the same lax provisions when deciding on your final "caregiver".
Hey 10:38, way to support a working mom's choice to breastfeed. I don't blame her for wanting to nurse her baby instead of always using a breastpump. It's hard to continue nursing when you go back to work & good for her for finding a way to keep that connection with her baby. I understand the trip there and back was tough for you, but look at is as giving that baby the opportunity to continue to nurse for longer & that's a great thing. If you were at all reluctant & had attitude about doing it, I wouldn't be suprised to know that you, in part, lead to them weaning before they would have otherwise been ready.
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart to think about how often little children aren't allowed to take rest when they need it. I sit for my nephew who is three. He has a range of time when he can sleep in the afternoon or just rest quietly if he's not sleepy. But I always wake him at a certain time so he'll be able to go to sleep later. I really think forcing a baby/child to stay awake is a form of abuse. Sleep deprivation is used as torture. Young bodies and minds need sleep for mental and physical restoration during the day. And not just kids, adults tend to want sleep around 2-4 pm daily. But instead we force ourselves through with caffeine and sugar instead of resting. What gets me the most is that parents are managing their kids' lives to make their home lives more manageable at the expense of their chldren's health. That's awful. Find another way.
ReplyDeleteHey 11:42, I'm all for breastfeeding (which my boss does and I support her and bring the baby to her), but did you miss the part about the two other kids in the car? Hello?
ReplyDeleteI don't know about your children. But, if my youngest child takes a nap too early she will take a second nap right before bedtime, which will in turn ruin her ability to sleep at night. Which will spill over into the next day. I homeschool two other children. Everyone is on a schedule (even the toddler) it saves her from misery, it saves my sanity and it allows the rest of the house to run smoothly.
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to sound insensitive, it's just that sometimes the nap has to wait until we get home. If you let the child sleep on a ten minute ride, chances are that they are going to wake up when you get to your stop.
That's not a good thing. They usally don't go right back to sleep. And no parent wants the nanny to return a fussy child.
To add to the previous...
ReplyDeleteMy daughter still gets an ample amount of sleep during the day.
EVERY day.
"Don't know how much more I can warn my friends about these BLACKS. They are cheap, but the care they give to our children is the worst. These BLACKS are young girls who just want to come to America and LIVE. They only take these jobs because they are given a place to live and few bucks to survive."
ReplyDeleteSound familiar? Get a clue people!
You can't just lump a group of people together and call them bad.
Jeeze, what would you think of a Mexican nanny. She's cheap?
What are you going to do? What until the child is in Pre-K or Kindergarten before you introduce them to a scheduled "naptime".
Or are you going to bash the teacher for not allowing the child sleep during class?
I think the "get a clue" poster-
ReplyDeleteis mentally challenged. I know you think you are saying something that makes sense, but you are ass backwards and ignorant.
When speaking about au pairs, we aren't speaking about people. We are speaking about the fallacies of a program.
THAT WAS HARSH!
ReplyDeletePlease allow me to quote you "The aupair was wearing tight jeans and a pair of rocket dog sneakers, black. Programs aren't capable of wearing jeans.
"They are cheap, but the care they give to our children is the worst. These aupairs are young girls who just want to come to America and LIVE."
It may very well be a program but it's quite evident that you were speaking of this young lady.
You see, if I were on that train with my Chinese looking child, a few would prejudged me and my situation.
When in fact, the opposite is true.
You have know idea if she was an aupair. You have no idea why that child had to be kept awake. And the program (which may be less than perfect) is being turned into something other than the original intent. There is no need to bash me simply because I think that it's wrong to make unwarranted assumptions about people that may have a bigger heart than the one that's judging from a distance.
She may be doing more for our society than you know.
May I ask why you assumed that she was an aupair? Do you love all people? Do you think of all people with the same respect, and make an attempt to understand them? This is not an attempt to belittle you. It's just an invitation to become one of the good guys.
And for the record, I'm not mentally challanged.
i love being a nanny in canada
ReplyDeleteNot all au pairs are this way. I am 22 years old and AMERICAN and I I want to do this job because my major is socila science. I would love to be emersed in another culture. I love children and I never really had a close family growing up so i would love to be there for uyoug children when there parents are very busy and they need to work and run around. Almost liek an older sister. Soem peopel are cold with children in general do not assume its naive.
ReplyDeletebe a nanny then, make the big bucks. au pair is a term cooked up to trick people into cultural experiences that jamaicans come over here and have for $650 a week while the au pair is making $150.
ReplyDelete