Received Wednesday, January 31, 2007
9:30 AM, Date 1/31/07, Location: The Children's Place at 18th & Walnut Sts, Center City Philadelphia. I was shopping for my kids when I heard a woman yelling at a child in the stroller to stop fussing while she was shopping. Didn't think much of it since I often have to do the same when I am out with my kids. However, I walked past the woman and realized that she was nanny. She was an African-American heavy-set woman with short curly hair. She had a caucasian baby girl, who looked like she was around 12 months old in a Maclaren gray-colored stroller. The nanny was clearly shopping for a school-aged girl and continued to shush the infant in the stroller. She was not abusive but it seemed a bit inappropriate to be shopping while you are working and being paid to watch and entertain another a clearly alert and bored child. I am a mom of a 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old and have recently given up on nannies. Many of them demand alot of money to work for you and yet you see many of them not really working.
Although the nanny could have handled the child’s fussing better, how do you know that she was not shopping for her employers? Is it possible that the child had a sibling at school and the nanny had been sent to buy things for her? I am a nanny and I probably spend 25% of my time shopping. My point is, just because she was shopping does not mean she was working.
ReplyDeletemaybe she was buying for an older charge who was in school. I often shop for my oldest while she is in pre-school.
ReplyDeleteThis post is ridiculous. You stated that you yell at your children in the store then say it's fine as long as it's not a nanny. No, I don't think it's ok to yell at the children in your care but as usual you don't know the whole story. Also, your descriptions are so vague I don't think the parents of this child will be able to tell.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you assume she is shopping for her own child? She is most likely shopping for the little girls' sister. I am a nanny of a toddler and a school age child and many times have been forced to drag the toddler around while I shop for her or her sister. There just isn't enough time to get everything done. Sometimes a child is going to have to be bored and cry.
Parents demand too much from nannies, clothes shopping, grocery shopping, pick up dry cleaning, go find fourteen purple candles, etc. It is ridiculous. Unfortunately every nanny can't spend the entire ten to twelve hours they are working stimulating your child at home. There are tasks to be done. Sure we try to make it educational but sometimes you just need to get it done. If that means speaking firmly to a child then that's what sometimes needs to be done.
When you raise your voice to your child, does she still know you love her? Of course she does. It's the same with nannies. We spend 50+ hours per week with your child/ren. We may raise our voice on occasion but it doesn't mean we don't love the children in our care. The children know that too, they love us, we love them. Love all around.
If the nanny is shopping for a parent or older charge- then that parent should have his or her child in daycare. People who shop at the Children's Place should not have nannies. Let's not throw off the balance of the Universe.
ReplyDeleteIf the nanny is shopping for a parent or older charge- then that parent should have his or her child in daycare. People who shop at the Children's Place should not have nannies. Let's not throw off the balance of the Universe.
ReplyDeleteI don't care whether a nanny works 12 hours a week or 70. Just like I don't care if a bank teller works 12 hours or 70. You wouldn't be excusing a teller who walked off with a roll of quarters so stop excusing these nannies with their bitchy behavior towards the children.
ReplyDeleteI am a mother. I make mistakes. I don't pay someone to yell at my children.
7:01 Are you saying people that shop at the Children's Place can't afford nannies? I don't understand this. Please elaborate.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you assume that an African-American woman is not the adoptive parent of the caucasian child?
ReplyDeleteRight on, 7:03.
ReplyDeleteDifference:
Nannies work hard all day and then they're off duty.
I work hard all day and am NEVER off dutry. I come home to my children. After they go to sleep I clean and I cook, and bust buns here.
I haven't had a day for myself in 5 years, whereas my nanny has several weeks vacation to herself, plus holidays.
She has more spending money than I do too. It's fascinating.
Not a complaint by any stretch, just pointing out the facts as they pertain to my personal situation.
842, you are going to pull a muscle in your ass trying so hard to be PS.
ReplyDeleteNot likely.
I am saying my nanny doesn't shop at Children's Place for her OWN children. Tres tacky!
ReplyDeleteHey 8:57...
ReplyDeletePart of the responsibility in having children is that you give up the right to be selfish. If you didn't have children, you would get vacation time just like your nanny... to spend however you wanted. Quit crying and just be happy that you are blessed with children. I truly feel bad for your kids. You make them sound like a burden.
938 I still don't get it. What's up with Children's Place? Too good for nannys or not good enough for you, or both?
ReplyDeletejmt-
ReplyDeleteyou have to decide for yourself what is up with children's place. I think the clothing looks like lame knock offs of more pop brands. In the scope of everything wrong with the world, shopping at children's place for your child is not a problem. just make sure mama is shopping at old navy for her digs. nothing pisses me off more than bergdorf moms who lace up their children in pleather payless kicks.
1208 personally I think that people who buy expensive clothes for their children are D U M B. What a waste of money. Kids themselves don't care when they are toddlers. It is just for show for their moms, like "look at me with all my money". And stop riping on people who shop at children's place and old navy. Not everyone has a silver spoon in their mouths. Also, it's not polite to look down your nose at others. It's tres tacky!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's impolite to look up your nose at others too!
ReplyDeleteDifference:
ReplyDeleteNannies work hard all day and then they're off duty.
I work hard all day and am NEVER off dutry. I come home to my children. After they go to sleep I clean and I cook, and bust buns here.
I haven't had a day for myself in 5 years, whereas my nanny has several weeks vacation to herself, plus holidays.
She has more spending money than I do too. It's fascinating.
Not a complaint by any stretch, just pointing out the facts as they pertain to my personal situation.
REALLY? I HAVE TIME OFF? OH, NO, WAIT. I DON'T. I work 60+ hours a week, get ONE day off if it works for my employer. I take the kids to school, pick them up from school, clean house, make supper, bathe kids, put them to bed. The parents go whole days without seeing their kids. Don't tell me that I'm not allowed to get impatient at times.
why are you complaining about your 60 hours of work? If you clean the house, you are nothing more than a glorified housekeeper. I live in Scarsdale, NY and I don't know a nanny on my street who does ANY cleaning.
ReplyDeleteSo you must suck at what you do to have to take such a cruddy gig.
No offense.
And again, stop bashing working parents and biting the hand that feeds you.
This is getting ridiculous, the more i read, the more i think people are reaching for things to report and things to bitch about
ReplyDeleteNannies work hard all day and then they're off duty.
ReplyDeleteI work hard all day and am NEVER off dutry. I come home to my children. After they go to sleep I clean and I cook, and bust buns here.
I haven't had a day for myself in 5 years, whereas my nanny has several weeks vacation to herself, plus holidays.
She has more spending money than I do too. It's fascinating.
Not a complaint by any stretch, just pointing out the facts as they pertain to my personal situation.
8:57 PM
Replying to this comment at the top.
As a nanny, I do have a life, with a family of my own,which some employers ,donot seem to relize because they think thier nannies lives surrounds them and thier kids. But unlike you, I love what i do, and do not complain about my job or my family life. What do you think was going to happen when you have kids? Cooking and cleang after your own kids is part of being a parent.
6:07 You say something so rude and then add in "no offense"!?! That just doesn't make sense.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone is as well-off as you make yourself out to be. Remember when you are running your mouth...what goes around, comes around.
I am SO happy I don't live in NY or work for snobs like you! I'm not one to wish something bad upon someone, but from time to time I think everyone should get a taste of their own medicine.
I would never hire a nanny that couldn't spell. I mean I require a basic semblance of intelligence from my housekeeper. I would be pissed if she couldn't spell the items she wrote on the shopping list.
ReplyDeleteYou are waaay out there, 1035. Stop judging others. I misspell when I'm typing fast. And really, hon, take a loooong good look at yourself in the mirror. Now repeat your phrase to yourself, and see how silly your statement makes you look. Hell, if she can read what she wrote, who gives?
ReplyDelete"Hon" isn't helping your case.
ReplyDeleteNP
I used "hon" to be obnoxious. I hate when people say that. Why all the judging around here? I visit this site praying I never see my nanny. Most of the time I don't even post. Why waste my time? Any advice/stories/whatever people share gets poked at and scrutinized. And peoples obsession about money!! Yuck!! So I just keep coming back, checking up, using this site that it was meant for.
ReplyDelete9:33
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right! I am a nanny, a newlywed and an expectant mom. I love working as a nanny! It is my career, just as some are accountants, lawyers, etc.
I continue to work as a nanny because I will be able to take my child to work with me (I have already cleared this with the family I work for) which gives me the best of both worlds: I will still be with my child AND I will still have an income.
My husband works full time and makes great money and I honestly don't HAVE to work, but I do it now and will continue to do it because I enjoy being a nanny.
It does sound like many of the parents/employers on this website don't understand/respect that their nanny is a human being and has a life outside of work. It is nice to know that I am not the only human nanny out there!
Pipe Down, Gepetto.
ReplyDeletenp here..this post is absurd andI hope that this idiot realizes unless you know a family..you have no idea if a woman caring for a child is a mommy or a nanny! My sister married a black man 10 years ago,he is NOT African, he is black and my sister is as white as new fallen snow. They have an absolutley gorgeous daughter,who by all means is black from her Ebony eyes to her shiny dark skin. So listen up you uneducated bored,spoiled housewife..this nanny/mom is not fair game for the likes of you.You need to stop watching Springer and Judge Judy all day long and get a freaking clue!!
ReplyDeleteoh the "get a freaking clue" poster is back. Ignorant. Uneducated. Redundant and Trite.
ReplyDeleteGASP! Do not mess with Judge Judy!
ReplyDelete1235..why do you say ignorant. Do you feel the OP was a great sighting? Bitching about a nanny shopping???
ReplyDelete12:35 PM Ignorant and uneducated is in fact redundant, and come to think of it, also trite. You don't sound like a Harvard grad. yourself. You know what they say about people who live in glass houses.
ReplyDelete10:23-
ReplyDeleteum, that they need to have good help.
(all those windows)
I don't believe you.
ReplyDeleteThis is a case of a woman who thinks that Blacks should stay in their place and speak to massa's babies as nice as possible. BTW, I have scored some incredible deals at Children's Place. You can get great things that aren't a lot of money at all! You are one of those idiots that have no domestic skills so you have no idea how to score bargains. You buy the crap at Walmart taht gives your kid an allergic reaction for the same price as Children's Place.
ReplyDeleteI agree that Children's place is great: I have a five month old and I have gotten some great stuff for her there. I am also a big fan of Target.
ReplyDeleteWhy would a child get an allergic reaction to clothes from Walmart? I believe that allergic reactions come from the material and not from where it was bought. If you wash the clothes before wearing (which I always do no matter where I buy it) and make sure it is made of material that is not an allergen (cotton for example) there is no reason that a child should have a reaction to the clothes just because they were purchased at walmart.
That being said, it does sound like the poster is a bit racist. Nannies shop all the time for other kids who may be in school.
I can't beleive the OP and her observation that many nannies don't work hard! To the poster who doesn't have a day off to herself: I didn't have children. You did. That was your choice. I'm a nanny and a doctorate student. I work 60-65 hours/week and I love the family I work for. After a 12 hour day with an energetic toddler, I may be off duty, but I'm too exhausted to do anything. I spend all day, everyday, going to classes, going to playgroups, and walking the two or three miles between them (often with the family dog in tow). As a result I am in amazing shape and also amazingly exhausted by the time I get home. Many of us attend classes, read up on new developments in early care and education, and generally bust our bottoms to make sure that our charges are getting the best care we can possibly provide. We learn baby sign language, we cook organic baby food, and we teach your children, often spending more time with them than their own parents do. Sometimes we have to run errands for the parents, those may run the gammut from Neiman Marcus to (yes, I know, this will be hard to hear...) The Children's Place (imagine what children in Third World Countries are wearing to bed tonight) and all along the way, we are merely getting along as well as we can. Just like you do when you're managing a schedule and running errands with your children. Yelling is never ok, but to assume the worst about nannies in general is highly disrespectful considering the committment we make to your families and your children.
ReplyDeleteYes, the childrens place is great.
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time on this site. And I must say that I expected more. There are actually people out there that would make such serious assumptions about a woman simply because she was black with a white baby. Before she realized that fact, everything was fine.
Those are the people that are a disgrace to all of mankind. Tell me ma'am did she get a chance to see your white sheet?
Just understand this...God has the power to show you who's God!
And one day you will face judgement...and I only hope that it is with the same blindness that you judge others. You seem more like a woman who is unhappy with herself and needs to stop worrying about the "Black Nannies" and focus more on where her husband is. Oops! You know exactly what I am talking about.
"Oops! You know exactly what I am talking about."
ReplyDeleteum, no.
you sound like a serial killer.
Like I said...
ReplyDeleteDid she see your white sheet?
1141:
ReplyDeletereally-you aren't that clever.
I figured as much.
ReplyDeleteRight now you aren't willing to open your eyes but, you will. (If God himself has to pry them open.)
I read your comments and I'll pray for you. But, most of all I'll pray for the people that you come in contact with. Especially, the ones that aren't of your race or financial status.
Don't pray for me.
ReplyDeleteThat's fine I won't pray for you.
ReplyDeleteI'll pray that you will soon come into some rough times that make you realize that you are only human and no better than the nanny you wrote about. I pray that you will soon face financial hardships and terrible losses that bring you to the reality that all were created equal.
I was thinking more along the lines of save your prayers for the weak and suffering, as there are many everywhere in need. I didn't anticipate that G-D fearing people would pray for bad things to happen to others.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, isn't that more evil than anything posted above?
No, I don't think so.
ReplyDeleteYou honestly need to come to a point where you look at other people a different way. I made sure to explain why I would ask for such judgement. And I never said anything about you being harmed. You see money tends to turn people into "YOU". Sometimes they have to lose it, before they understand! That's NOT praying for a bad thing...it may be the only thing that can save your life.
God (it's okay to print His name) doesn't need me to save my prayers. He welcomes all prayers.
And how is it that you have such an awsome ability to spot evil? All you had to do was get a good look at that baby girl and "BAM" you knew that nanny was wrong.
It's ashame...I hoped that something I wrote would make you think a little. Although it is nice to see that you were slightly bothered by the thought of facing God in the form that you are. You don't have to say...I can tell.
Yes, I have had to ask God to deal with many of people that I've come in contact with.
ReplyDeleteIt's not evil. It's one of the perks of being on the right side.
I've asked Him to remove Supervisors from my presence because they were "that way". (Done)
I've asked for people to be shown the light
(Done)
Chances are that she already knows this. And doesn't care.
Why should He protect her when she persecute His children?
i don't believe you
ReplyDeleteBelieve who?
ReplyDeleteCrazy religious fanatic?
yeah, me either.
Believe it or not, I may attend church twice a month but, that hardly qualifies as a fanatic. But, I CAN se why you would think so. And for that I apologize.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I am a lover of all people. Sometimes we tend to be a bit tough on someone that we don't even know. This site is good when it's used the way it was meant to be.
But, somehow it's turning into a meeting ground for ...let's just say lighten up a little. Give a person a chance. There's no need to bash me. We don't agree but I'm definately not a bad person.
I know how easy it is to sit around and talk about others...I'm tempted sometimes. But, I know better and so should you.
Don't worry girls...I'm moving on.
So you can feel free to speak ill of me to you hearts content.
No one thinks you are bad. Settle down.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
ReplyDelete5:26 you rock!
This is crap. Can you be any more judgemental of someone? Unless you are documenting a clear case of abuse, which if you were I would hope you would be running to tell the authorities and not your computer to gossip to the hundreds of anonymous readers here...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I digress. I am a full time nanny and a mother to my own son. My charge is a special needs 10, my son is 2.To any observer, I might be nanny to them both, or mother to them both. It just so happens the child who isn't mine looks more like me than mine does. Genetics is a funny thing, so there's proof to debunk that "I'm sure she was the nanny because the kid looked nothing like her..." No one is more sure than I am, that my son is mine and biological, no matter who he looks like. There have been plenty of times I was in the company of my son while my charge was in school, and I would be shopping, sometimes for me, my child,sometimes for my charge- who knows? Can the average outside observer even make that clear connection? There's been times I would tell my son to hush, or be patient, and been shopping for my charge, even if he wasn't present at the time. The bottom line is: Nannies and mothers have a hard job. It is constant, never ending, especially if you stay at home. You are on call 24/7, surrounded by little people, hopefully doing your best to nurture them and instill good values to be a positive contribution to society someday. That is a huge responsibility in addition to the basic resposibility of living for yourself and them. None of us are perfect. We all lose our patience at some point, have a moment that to the average person might not look so perfect. Let me specify: I'm not talking about abuse: like scalding a kid for bugging you...I'm talking about "OMG, the nanny was eating at BURGER KING! or she was smoking a cigarette OUTSIDE of all places!" Unless you walked in those shoes, don't be so quick to judge. A nanny is still a person, who has her own problems, thoughts,emotions in addition to taking care of your children. In most of these cases, I really wonder if its not the guilt of paying someone a meager wage in comparision to the huge undertaking of raising your children full time? If everyone were so judgemental, I would have the attitude of "Stretch marks do not a mother make." Some women look at raising children as a househould duty to be passed on to hired help like watering the plants.They can't stomach to lose their freedom that it takes to raise children, whether yours or anyone else's. Shame on you to have that attitude, taking the time to judge her here, when she is giving her all to YOUR child, more than likely right now as we speak? Talk about hypocritical...
Excellent post 206! Save the reporting for the important stuff. Most of the reporting that I read is crap and good for a laugh.
ReplyDeleteThis is my opinion after reading much of what can be found here.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me as if the employer's and the employee's have a huge hate/hate relationship going on for the most part. I seriously hope that most employer/employee relation's are not like that in the real nanny world.
I hope that this is just high emotions running and that is why the employer's are speaking so frequently of class and knowing your place. Do you really hold the people that are caring for your children in such contempt? (For that matter any of your "help"?) Your English and/or grammar skills in no way shape or form denote if a person has class. Or even education I have known Doctor's that can not right a proper sentence. So it obviously is not telling on your education level either.
Do you not see how petty, vindictive, and snide so many of you the self proclaimed better class are making yourselves out to be/look like?
I have seen maybe two posts that made me think "gosh that was awful that poor child." For the most part I have seen brief glances into someone else’s day. So brief that the witness has NO IDEA what is going on 99% of the time. Have you as a parent never spoken harshly to your child? Never lost your patience? Yes, a nanny is an employee but given the long hours they spend with your children I think they are filling a role even bigger then that of a daycare center employee. So much of what I see on this site is so petty and paranoid. If you don't trust the people caring for your children then find a new nanny, put them in day care, or stay home with them.
I have friends that manage to have both parents working full time yet they arrange their schedules so that one of them is always home with the kid's. On top of that they also home school. If you wanted to be there for your children and work you could do it. Instead to assuage any of the mommy guilt (don't say you don't have it EVERY mother does) you attack the very people you hire to watch your children. Are there bad nannies’ yes I am sure there are, just as there are bad parents, teacher's, infinitum adnausium.
If you have such a failure of communication that you feel you need to spy rahter then talk to your Nanny then why do you have that person in your home taking care of the most important thing in your life? For those in doubt that would be your children.
1215
ReplyDeleteYou are giving the rest of us Jewish folk a really bad name. Sad to see that you seem to look down on everyone not in your "class" Which is pretty funny if you think about how not so very long the signs used to read no jews, No blacks, No dogs. For people that have always had to struggle I find it very sad that you would make us look so awful.
Did you forget that ours is a faith made of our deed's?