Wednesday, September 27, 2006 approximately 4:00 PM
Youngish, attractive dark skinned, black hair Nanny at **** in Washington Heights late afternoon (around 4:00pm) Wednesday Sept. 27th. Sat on back bench by the basketball courts talking with another nanny friend for a good 45 minutes. Left your sweet daughter, Jenna, age 5, to play by herself the entire time. Jenna talked with everyone there, ran from one end of the playground to another, and kept herself entertained, however, I easily could have walked off with her as could anyone else have done the same. There is absolutely no way that your nanny could have kept her in her eyesight the entire time from the location she was sitting in. I was there with a number of other mothers and our children, and we all felt terrible for Jenna, who seemed extremely lonely and desperate for attention. I would rate this a bad nanny sighting not only because a 5 year old had to play by herself for 45 minutes while her nanny chatted with a friend (who by the way kept her charge right next to her the entire time) but because it was simply dangerous how little supervision the child had,in a large public playground. Please talk to your nanny before someone walks off with your daughter. There are child predators everywhere and this is a city playground, requiring excellent supervision from close by, not from a distance.
****This entry was edited on 10/2/06 to remove the details of the Park.
"Jenna talked with everyone there" is what you first stated, but then you go on to "we all felt terrible for Jenna, who seemed extremely lonely and desperate".
ReplyDeleteSo... was she having fun with everyone or feeling lonely?
I was at the park as well that day, and my daughter actually made friends with Jenna. From my observation the nanny in question had an eye on Jenna; also it is important to remember that children need to be encouraged to play with other children without an adult breathing down their neck constantly. Always supervised yes; which she was.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd feel scared too in Washington Heights. How about not hiring the the bargain basement nanny. Move to a better neighborhood and spend some real money on a nanny that doesn't have to be on welfare at the same time taking care of your neighborhood's kids.
ReplyDeletebtw. When was the last time a "child predator" actually struck and walked off with a kid? Have I been blind? Cuz I just don't hear about it.
This is classic "lonely child" behavior. Searching for attention from every adult she sees because she is ignored by the person that should be caring for her. Don't forget the point here- the child's safety. The original poster has every reason to worry for this child.
ReplyDeleteThat's what a playground is for: so that kids can run around and entertain themselves or play with other kids while the grownup gets a break. Granted you can't drop the kid off and leave, but no one (not even parents) watch their child's every move all the time.
ReplyDeleteAre there really child predators everyhwere? I think this may be the (understandable) paranoia that results from watching too many episodes of Without a Trace.
why is it bad for a child to have to entertain herself? kids are great at that, and it is an essential skill to develop.
ReplyDeleteYour concern is well-placed, but, with all due respect, I believe that socialization is something that children need to learn, and much of that they need to negotiate for themselves. Also, the role of a nanny is not to be a playmate. Lastly, if you were concerned, why didn't you gently broach this with the nanny? the situation you bring us doesn't seem to rise to the occasion of abuse.
ReplyDeleteA five year old should be entertaining herself, and making friends with other children, without being hovered over by a nanny or parent.
ReplyDeleteKevin
ReplyDeleteI'd like to know what you do for a living that makes you think it would be so easy for the family in question to just pick up and "move to a better neighborhood". Real easy if you can afford to pay the $5,000 a month most apartments in a "good neighborhood" go for. And as for the welfare remark, let me guess: you're white? and finally, child predators walk off with children all of the time: Morgan Nick, Amber Hagerman, Samantha Runnion, the list goes on. How did YOU think they got them?
Original Poster here:
ReplyDeleteWow. Let's just say I guess if all of you have no problem with a 5 year old NOT being watched (and no, she was not being watched, and YES I keep my eyes on my son at all times - it is completely untrue that not even parents watch their children at all times, I do and I know plenty of wonderful caregivers that do as well) then I guess maybe this post wasn't necessary and maybe the parents of Jenna will agree with you. I stand by my decision however, in light of the fact that while a playground is for a child to play at, and all adults need a break here or there, the nanny could have easily gotten off her butt just once to stand and look over at the child to make sure she was ok; she could have sat on the front benches chatting which were closer to the jungle gyms; and lastly, if you are naive enough to believe that child predators only lurk on t.v. you need to do your research and learn that life isn't as rosy as you think (good neighborhoods and bad, which by the way Washington Heights is an unbelievably wonderful neighborhood to raise children in Kevin.) Put our zip code into one of the sex offender websites and you will find a number of predators in our immediate area. Etan Patz may have disappeared in 1979, but what do you think, that child predators disappeared as well?? Come on people, wake up. And watch your kids AT ALL TIMES. And i've never felt the need to publicize any nanny's behavior before so this obviously made a big impression on me. If that was my son, or my daughter (who is 7 and still well-supervised, btw) I would hope that someone would have let me know.
I am utterly appalled at the stupidity of most of these replies. Anyone who thinks it is ok to not watch a child in the playground every second is sadly mistaken. The caregiver doesn't have to hover; she does have to keep a watchful eye. The person who claims he isn't hearing about child predators obviously doesn't watch the news much. The original poster should be thanked for her concern, not ridiculed.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe the comments that these posts generate!
ReplyDeleteNo such thing as child predators???
Move to a richer neighborhood???
Attacking the post for seeming contradictions?
What do you people (I assume you are all nannies?) think, people make crap up and come here and post it because they are rabid nanny-haters? Who cares enuf to do that? Isn't it just possible that there are bad nannies out there? Not all of them of course!
Maybe you people posting these comments ARE the bad nannies, so that is why you post these ridiculous and angry comments. There appears to be no other logical reason for it!
To poster who said: "This is classic 'lonely child' behavior. Searching for attention from every adult she sees because she is ignored by the person that should be caring for her."
ReplyDeleteAnd who exactly should be caring for the child? Um, how about, the parents?
Who exactly should be caring for the child? My guess is at that point and time the person who is being PAID to do so.
ReplyDeleteI hate fear mongering more than anything.
ReplyDelete"Child Predators are EVERYWHERE." AHHHHHHHHH!
You make a lot of assumptions about what the nanny could and could not see.
You hate fear mongering? Put your zip into www.familywatchdog.us - i did and found two sex offenders (sex with girls under the age of 6) within a block of our local playground. And at least 4 others within a 10 block radius.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in an upper middle class neighborhood and had a good friend who was suicidal at the age of 12.. because they found out that a local shopkeeper was fondling him on his walk home (a 4 block walk) after offering him free candy for a few weeks and gaining his trust. A shopkeeper we all knew (turns out his thing was boys AND he had a prior history, too bad there were no laws back then, could have saved a young boy's family a lot of heartache if they knew, if anyone knew, do you think the community would have allowed a convicted sex felon to own a candy shop near a middle school?)
I would prefer to be a "fear monger" than a naive person who's child suffers because of my inability to admit that this is not a perfect world.
As for what the nanny could and could not see - I live there. If you knew the park, you would know that if you sit on the bench she was at and the child is playing on the tire swings or near the sprinklers, there is physically no way to see the child clearly. Especially when the nannys back was turned the other way most of the time so she could face the friend she was chatting with. If she simply would have changed positions with her friend she would have had a more clear view of the child. She clearly wasn't interested. Craning her neck around once (without even standing) in 45 minutes was not the ability to see the child. You are the one making the assumptions. Let's hope that your "safe" world never comes crashing down on you. Reality is a rude awakening, especially if it is a child that is hurt because of an adults denial of reality.
all these rich people complaining about nannies...give me a break!!
ReplyDeleteYou should be glad that you can AFFORD a nanny. I know single mothers with 4 kids. They work 2 jobs and the oldest kids watch the younger ones. They don't blog about international travel with toddlers. Their goal is to just keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.
Sheeeesh!
Bahahahahaha. To the poster above. Rich people don't care about nannies one way or another. If they are sick, they need to work. If they have a death in the family, they damn well better not walk around the house with a grumpy expression on their face. If the seem intolerant of the child, who cares? Not every person who has a nanny is rich. Many people need a nanny just to take care of their children. There are no other alternatives. My experience is that those people who can barely afford a nanny actually look harder for a good nanny and work harder to stay involved with their children and the nanny. If you think only "rich" people have nannies, I am guessing you are posting from Enid, Oklahoma. Get real.
ReplyDeleteA single mother with four kids utilizing her children as babysitters? Praytell how does one single woman have four children? Are they all from different fathers? Do tell. Do tell what rich mother is alternately blogging about international travel and complaining about nannies. I want to subscribe to her feed.
ReplyDeleteOne single mother can have 4 children from a husband who leaves her alone with 4 girls to support. But I guess you're so high and mighty that you're husband would never leave YOU.
ReplyDeleteI live in the NYC region (North NJ), 30 minutes from the Holland Tunnel, in a leafy green suburb. not Oklahoma. YOU get real!
However, I do have a wonderful friend in Tulsa. Too bad you're not nearly as polite and classy as her.
I am not naive, 1:11PM Anon.
ReplyDeleteI am a realist. Predators ARE everywhere. They're your soccer coach and your grandfather and that great neighbor...who Surprise! Hasn't been convicted of child molestation yet.
Your friend who was molested by the shop keeper needed to TELL SOMEONE what was happening. He needed his parents to ask questions and be aware. THAT is the power we as parents have.
Predators are everywhere but they're not the boogeyman waiting to pounce on children at parks while a nanny or parent doesn't glue her eyeballs to a child.
Predators are more likely to be the person your child loves and trusts. That's reality, so instead of spending time worrying about this faceless danger, concentrate on empowering your child to own his/her body and TELL someone what is happening to them.
But yes let's all sit around biting our fingernails in fear of the SEXUAL PREDATORS ALL AROUND!!! AHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHH!
I am so tired of this attitude I could vomit.
PS: I have entered my information into a sex offender registry and found there are offenders around our area. And guess what? I'm not afraid of them. They're the face of evil I know. I'm on guard for the evil who pretends to be a kind and trust worthy person.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE TRY TO LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN SON.MOM
ReplyDeleteAs a mom from Washington Heights i have observed that most stay at home parent who don't have a social life would come to the playground to create one.As a parent i have witness this particular incident where some of the parents was socializing and one of the parent deep in conversation he walked out of the playground leaving his little daughter begin, a couple minutes later the dad came running to get her, where the child in-question was traumatize and screaming for her dad. so my fact is it goes both ways.I have known that nanny for quite some time and never saw the child lonely and looking for attention .As a caring parent as you claim to be you should try to focus more on your child rather than socializing with a keyboard.
ReplyDeleteHaving received a barrage of angry, hate infused anonymous comments directed at the person who wrote this post,I am quite curious as to what happened?
ReplyDeleteisawyournanny@cooltoad.com
we need the nanny input
ReplyDeleteYOU WILL;
ReplyDeleteWhen? Menacing threats directed at the original poster have continued to come in today. (Obviously not worth posting). If the nanny has a story to tell, we welcome her side of the story.
ReplyDeletewe love your site.as a mother in washington height.i will like to hear about all the comments that you are geting.
ReplyDelete