I've worked for my current family for 9 months. I have 10 years of experience and glowing references. They have a 3 year old and now a 1 year old. At first they were very receptive to conversations and any question or issue I had. As time has passed they were less and less interested. I asked for my 6 month review and sort of got one ( they both emailed me on a thread). I negotiated a raise ( not that much) and brought up for the 2nd time the 3 yo's behavior ( mean,calls me bad names,says they're going to "tell on me" when I am enforcing a rule they don't like). Mom and Dad always profess to want to work on it but have yet to set boundaries. It's incredibly confusing to them and makes sense why they act out constantly. I spoke to them 3x in 4 months about the behavior. The word "no" is rarely enforced and when it is both parents have lost their cool. Long story short,I found another job and accepted it. I gave a month notice and the parents have both been extremely rude. The mom in particular has been incredibly passive aggressive and going to work makes me ill every day. She asked why and I told her I found a better fit somewhere else. I needed to work less (I currently work 50-60 hours a week with no OT.She is very unprofessional and rude to me daily. I'm imagining that I won't receive a reference from them.
How horrible am I to not work the last 2 days of my months notice? I feel awful but the idea of having to spend them RE-EXPLAINING and handling unprofessional attitudes makes me cry. Any input welcome !!!
Here's my two cents: work the days. (I know a lot of folks will disagree with this, but hear me out.) Be 100% professional. Above and beyond. Don't give these people any possible true negative thing to be able to say. It's not about them, it's about you. When you walk away, you want to be able to say that you did everything "right."
ReplyDeleteKarma is a real thing. Sometimes you do the right thing for people who don't deserve it, but it's almost always worth doing aanywy. Good luck!
Take the days off! Life is short take a break before starting next job. Who cares not like your planning to ever see them again. Enjoy a couple of days off!!
ReplyDeleteI say work the days. If you consider yourself a professional nanny, that's the professional thing to do.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely.
DeleteWork the last two days. I agree with being professional. I worked for a NF where MB verbally abused me. And told me that I should transfer colleges I year before graduation because my schedule had the potential to possibly require MB to work from home to get her son off the bus one day a week. Which never happened. Despite her being crazy, mean and adding extra hours. I gave two week notice, and trained my replacement which was a lot of work because the child is on the Autism spectrum.
DeleteI gave notice because it was the right thing to do. You never know, you may run in to her again, may need as reference. Do what is right.
Work the last two days. I agree with being professional. I worked for a NF where MB verbally abused me. And told me that I should transfer colleges I year before graduation because my schedule had the potential to possibly require MB to work from home to get her son off the bus one day a week. Which never happened. Despite her being crazy, mean and adding extra hours. I gave two week notice, and trained my replacement which was a lot of work because the child is on the Autism spectrum.
DeleteI gave notice because it was the right thing to do. You never know, you may run in to her again, may need as reference. Do what is right.
Work the remainder of your days. There are not a lot of people that keep their word these days, you will feel better knowing that you are one of them.
ReplyDeleteOH, I forgot to mention that I agree with Taleia 110%!! Great Advice!!
ReplyDeleteWell you should have never agreed to work another month. But why should you put up with verbal abuse ( rudeness)? Also, they are required to pay OT to you. Take the days off. They are very unprofessional, as well.
ReplyDeleteScrew them. They don't respect and you don't need to respect them. Forget the whole "if you are professional nanny" bull. Your happiness matters more.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. A person who believes "your happiness matters more" than a contract you have with a family is not a professional nanny
DeleteExactly, Annon!
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ReplyDeleteThey broke the sacred "contract" by not paying for hours worked.
ReplyDeleteRight. That makes them unprofessional assholes.
DeleteAnd not working the last 2 days would make this nanny an unprofessional asshole.
If the environment is an unprofessional one where you cannot focus on the kids, due to the hostility of the parents, cut your ties( and just go. You can't use them for a reference. (If they say they would, I'd be skeptical. I'd have someone call in pretending to be a potential employer to see if that is the case.) I just read a thread elsewhere on the site about an employer assuring they would provide a good reference and then made sure to do the opposite. She wanted to get her final controlling word in and she certainly did.
ReplyDeleteIf the parents need and trust that nanny for the notice period, they must be professional and courteous themselves, or they deserve to be left scrambling for care. They can't have it both ways.