I am a former nanny turned school teacher. I was a nanny in DC for 5 years and I understand how hard it can be but I feel really uncomfortable about what I just witnessed on Connecticut avenue and Garfield St in Woodley park DC today at about4:45 today. I saw a nanny right outside the building for Stanford In Washington in DC. There was a baby, maybe 9-10 months, screaming in a stroller and a nanny standing by and ignoring her, talking on the phone. I fully admit to being nosy but I was in this woman's position before as a nanny and felt that she was being neglectful. I stopped and stared and after a minute of her talking on the phone and the baby continuing to scream, I offered her help, hoping to gently make her aware of the fact that she was being derelict in her duties, and in a public place, no less. She rolled her eyes and continued on the phone, the baby kept fussing, and I decided to take a stealth picture because I was really bothered by her actions. I nannied for 5 years, I understand how exhausting it is, even if it's just one little baby. I understand how starved an adult can get for adult conversation when they spend all day with a nonverbal creature. I understand that it's not feasible to be bright and engaged with the baby every single second of every day. I admit to taking a phone call on the job. But when the baby is visibly upset, it's time to get back to work. She didn't. And then she saw me take the picture. She raced after me down Connecticut avenue, and started screaming at me, telling me to my my f-Ing business and to go call Obama (?). I said something to the effect of, "you're ignoring the crying baby, I was a nanny too, just do your job." She continued to shout at me and call me racist, said f you to me several times, and walked away yelling, "yes massa." The baby was screaming the whole time.
I don't want to get into a racial conversation. I am white and the baby was white and the caretaker was not. But she was ignoring her duties and being neglectful in public so who knows how neglectful she is in private. And when she got called out on her neglect, she acted completely inappropriately and unprofessionally and I'm horrified that she's alone with a baby. Please post this.
The nanny was medium skinned and under 5'6" and the baby was white with blue eyes and light brown hair.
I don't know, kinda of on the fence on this. I understand the OP was worried. Probably coming from a good place in her heart.
ReplyDeleteBut kids do cry. How long was she crying for? It doesn't sound like it was for a long time. Maybe the time of day is her cranky time. My son had his cranky time in the late afternoon.
I don't see how this is a stealth picture. it looks like you were in her face and if that were me I would be really offended.some kids cry, maybe she forgot the pacifier before she left the house. I agree she could have picked the baby up and tryed consoling her, but maybe she already tried. maybe she was on the phone with mom. this is just silly.
ReplyDeleteYou never know the circumstances. I live in new York and I can't tell you how many times I would have put money on someone posting my picture here because my twin charges starts screaming and crying on a train. And everyone starts with the input "pick them up, do something" no sorry. They are safer strapped in the stroller than me holding them right now. Or when I get my phone out to confirm directions or pull up a white noise or music app for nap and they are crying. I'm sure people could make all sorts of assumptions. All that to say. You don't know what the deal was. You don't know how long the baby was crying. You don't know who she was talking to. Its unfair to have her picture plastered over the Internet.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the point of even posting these anymore of the vast majority of the time people usually say, "how do you know that's the nanny" or, "this could have been taken out of context" etc, etc, etc?
ReplyDeleteWe can each have our own thoughts on this site. There are two sides to all stories. Just making that point without bashing. Honestly I wish nanny in question could give her side.
ReplyDeleteI think in this case, the story that the poster gave was not alarming. in many cases though this site could help save a child's life. you just never know.
ReplyDeleteI think in this case, the story that the poster gave was not alarming. in many cases though this site could help save a child's life. you just never know.
ReplyDeleteOp. I do know how long the baby was crying. I spotted her and watched. You're telling me you can't tell when someone is blowing off a crying kid? The baby was too far reclined in her seat and was screaming and obviously uncomfortable. You are all saying you talk on the phone while a baby screams for several minutes on end?
ReplyDeleteAnd if you got called out on ignoring your charge, which never happened to me in my years of nannying, you would chase after the person who called you out and swear at her, screaming, in public?
And then say on the phone close enough so that I could hear, "as long as I'm not beating the goddamn baby who gives a f---?"
You're serious....this woman was ignoring a screaming baby. For a hot minute. And then she chased down a stranger, screaming obscenities in public, and then joked about beating the baby?
This is acceptable behavior? You tend to a crying charge. If you are too tired to handle a crying baby, this isn't the job for you. If when you're criticized, your first response is to scream obscenities at a well meaning bystander, you shouldn't work with kids. I don't care if I sound self righteous. I work in a title 1 school and have seen child abuse IRL. There's no such thing as too careful when it comes to the safety of a child.
You were wrong to take her picture. She got rightfully upset.
ReplyDeleteYou said yourself she was on the phone for a minute. She wasn't seen ignoring the child for 10,15,25 min.
You don't know and you didn't even try to ask what the circumstances were. I've nannied for families that were hard on the CIO method and sleep training. Which meant walking with a hungry baby crying because we were stretching meals to every 4 hrs. Or letting the baby cry to sleep in the stroller because the parents wishes were don't hold or rock the baby to sleep.
This woman could have been doing wrong except taking a call on work hours. But again, you don't know anything about her arrangemt with her employers.
The issue here is the baby wasn't in any immediate danger,and you don't know any of the facts. You also didn't witness any abuse or true neglect.
As a mother, I would have an issue with this situation, but as NYCNanny pointed out there are lots of parents with different parenting strategies, which they'd want the nanny to follow.
ReplyDeleteI know that our first nanny wasn't happy about carrying our baby in the babyborn and mentioned several times that it will make the baby too dependent on adults (later we learnt she wasn't following this and we had to let her go). However what I find (and I'm sure other parents would too) a big no-no is cursing within my child's earshot. No matter if the baby is a newborn or older.
In the end, I believe the site should take this nanny's picture down - maybe describe her instead and if the parent emails, then you could send them the picture to confirm it is their nanny.
Wow. Everyone who is flaming the OP is being hypocritical. If you all saw this woman standing around with a crying child, talking on the phone and seemingly not caring, you'd ALL judge. Maybe no one would go so far as to take a picture (I wouldn't) or to confront her, but you would all judge.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, where's Leigh, claiming everyone is a meanie???
DeleteYou are racist ma. Bet you a million dollars you would have never ever taken this woman's photo if she would have been white! True story.
ReplyDeleteOp. I worried about this a lot. But I've definitely called out parents of children who were white for things I felt were inappropriate before I knew about this website, so before I knew the picture taking was even a thing. I've seen a white mother lose track of her toddler at a museum and the boy came up to me and he and I and my charge had to go find security and when we found the mom I told her that I would be fired if I lost my kid the way she lost hers. I said it pretty harshly too. I also had a child at a playground attach herself to my charge and myself because her dad, white, left to go shopping. The kid was 4. The dad was gone for 20 minutes and said that he was French and that made it ok. There was a cop at the playground/park and I told him what happened and he talked to the dad. So if I see an adult behaving inappropriately with a child, I go to the authorities or I went here.
DeleteNone of us were there except the poster, I am sure she wouldn't have posted this unless she was concerned. No I don't think she was right by posting the Nannys full picture, unless she was physically harming the child then she'd have every right to. Let's not be so quick to judge the poster and maybe look at the positive side and let her know for the most she did nothing wrong. ISYN is a place to post the good or the bad and post questions comments & concerns without being ridaquiled or told you are lying or your post isn't true.
ReplyDeleteok, anonymous 5:24 there is a difference between passionate discussion and flaming/trolling and i think every person in the convo has very sincere views and it's a great conversation
ReplyDeleteactually - the Op sent in 3 pictures which do not put the nanny in a good light, my admin SS only used one,she did not use one of the nanny with a scary look on her face verbally abusing the Op, I would have put all three and she was right to hold back
my take: it does not look good for the nanny, cursing in front of the kid, not comforting the kid etc, I think she's missing a couple of soda's from her 6-pack
about the picture: it's just tradition on this sight to include a picture if it is relevant, a pic is worth a 1000 words, and could save a child
about the racism : check in our archives - we have good nanny sightings with nannies of darker skin and also bad nanny sightings of lighter skinned nannies, but - people of darker skin and foreigners are at greater risk for many many kinds of abuses, there is no doubt. I just learned much about that in THE NANNY TIME BOMB by Jacalyn Burke
Finally - the Op is reasonable in her presentation with half a decade of experience - when someone with experience in the field knows something is wrong - I lean towards believing them
No. You just don't call people names when they're your favorites. That's all. Everyone is telling the OP (who was the only one there) that she didn't understand the situation, that's she's wrong, she shouldn't have done this or that, etc. But, since they're the people you love so much, you don't get on their case for flaming. Whatever. Nice double standard.
DeleteUm, the whole point of this website was originally to call out bad nannies, often with photographs. I'm not a Leigh "favorite" one way or another and I personally don't feel as though the OP was wrong to post this. Regardless of the situation, the nanny's response to her was classless and trashy, and not someone I would want around my children (if I had them).
ReplyDeleteanon 7:16, I appreciate your attention to and reading of the blog but your comments are not based in fact. One of the awesome things about this thread is that "everyone" is presenting their very important views professionally and brilliantly. No one is attacking anyone elses character. It's ok to say " I think you were wrong, ill-advised, imo etc" but it's not ok to attack someone's character ie " you are bad, incompetent etc" and yes there may be some subjectivity on my part, as to paraphrase Judge Potter Stewart " I cannot 100% define wrong speech but i will know it when i see it"
ReplyDeletegreat thread and great post!
PS - IMO - the nanny sightings would never apply to 99.99 % of the nannies who participate/read this blog
Note: From ADMIN SS -- " how can anon say these posters are favorites? most of them are anonymous!"
If you go back into the archives and look at old bad nanny sightings and even ones from right before Leigh took over, there are pictures of the nannies! People never complained before
ReplyDeleteImagine that!! Rebeca no complainers!! Holly crap :) LOL
ReplyDeleteOh, rebecca, they complained, they complained alot!And i can see it because the nanny commenters on this site are very creative and would not be a bad nanny so it's hard for them to imagine someone shirking, but if we get that report we will print it and i will take it further - ANYONE putting a child in danger is fair game
ReplyDelete