Even though we had previously agreed to have this week off for Christmas my nanny parents asked me to work today. My boss came home and told me she had a miscarriage ( doctor confirmed). I'm not sure what to do or say. Of course I said I was sorry but what else can I do. This is my first time I've had to go thru this with a family- I wish I could do more
If you do not have plans for the next few days, help her out. But tell her you do need Christmas day off. With that being said, make sure you make a deal that you do get another week off. I am sure she is emotional and needs someone around for awhile.
ReplyDeleteI totally disagree. If you can (obviously if you have plans or whatever, don't drop them unless that's something you're comfortable with) and if these are good folks, stepping up to the plate in a crisis is absolutely the right thing to do and it will absolutely mean a lot to them. I've been through several crises with my current family (emergency health siuations, deaths in the family) and I have always stepped up as much as I possibly could - working extra hours, being flexible with my schedule, even helping out with laundry and cooking - and not only are we now incredibly close, but it's paid off practically (I've gotten a significant raise every 6-8 months since I started, they've gone above and beyond to help me out during some personal rough times (car trouble, last minute scheduling issues, etc), they regularly tell me how lucky they are to have me and have gotten me generous gifts "just because" as well as every birthday and christmas, etc).
ReplyDeleteIf you're a career nanny, this is a smart career move. If you're close to this family, this is a good - human thing to do. :)
I think it depends. Yes, it's good to show compassion, but you're also not their family. If you have a flight booked, etc and do not have flexibility in your holiday plans, I would offer to help up to the point that you have to leave and then follow your previously arranged plans. If you are driving home or if your family is local, make adjustments if you can, but I would not call off your holiday plans entirely. I think it's important to keep boundaries, even in a situation like this, otherwise, you can easily fall into the "well, you helped us out last time" trap of being obligated to drop your own life for theirs.
ReplyDeleteI've had this happen but with a different holiday. MB had a miscarriage, and because she was so far along (16wks), she had to go in to deliver the baby. It fell on Memorial Day, which I always take off because my husband was Army and passed away. MB's Mom flew in from out of state, but of-course wanted to be with her daughter during the delivery, along with DB. MB asked me if I could watch NK at my apt and bring him back a few hours after they got home. I of-course said yes. I had been with this family for 2 years. They let me move in with them after my husband passed away, until I was financially able to get my own place. We went out to eat on the weekends, to baseball games, and to gatherings with their family, including Thanksgiving and Christmas. We were family. I never would have turned my back on them regardless of what day it was. I was still able to visit my husband's gravesite before dark, which was what I wanted to do that day. I refused payment from MB's Mom for the day.
ReplyDeleteAll that to say: If it's possible, please offer your help to them in whatever way they may need.
Mamie - that's such an awesome story, thanks for sharing! :) <3
ReplyDelete