Question for nannies. I have been at this job since July 15. My employers haven't given me a housekey.
On two occasions I was locked out if the house, with a child. Once on a 90 degree day and once in an electrical storm. I asked for a key. The mom told me she needed to feel more comfortable with me. (!!)
Thursday I had to take the daughter to gymnastics. Worried the parents wouldn't be home by six and we'd be locked out again, I locked the doirs but left one set of french patio doors open.
When we got home, Dad was there. He said, "I'm going to ask once & I want an answer, did you intentionally
leave the door open? " He made me feel like crap.
Mom came home then and said to me..."as badly as you want a housekey, you haven't shown me you deserve it."
It's a key.
#psychos. #readytoquit
That is crazy. I can't believe they trust you with their children but not with a housekey!!!
ReplyDeleteOMG time to quit ! If they don't trust you, why on earth hire you??
ReplyDeleteI see both sides. Leaving a door unlocked would bother me a lot as a parent BUT I also wouldn't leave you key-less for months. I background check my nanny/sitter/housekeeper and thoroughly vet them prior to hire. They all get either a key to the house or a code to the backdoor.
ReplyDeleteBeing locked out isn't ok. If she cannot trust you after two months, she needs to find new care. You should also reconsider working for such a distrustful family.
I would quit. I would site being locked out on an extreme hot day with no food or water and the electrical storm. I didn't get a house key for over a year (should have been more proactive). Family went on vacation told me if I wanted my pay still I needed to do XYZ at the house, I go there and OH I was locked out, texted them "opps we forgot to give you a key" I didn't get paid. Last straw before I left, their eldest had a hissy fit, locked me out of the house (unpacking the stroller) baby was napping, texted MB and DB and said ask kid nicely to unlock it. I already tried that. After an hour of being outside, with no help from MB or DB I called the police the kid still refused to unlock the door! (I said no to sweets-- I'm horrible). Due to the fact their was an infant sleeping alone in the house with a 7 y/o they broke down the door. The cops stayed until MB came home; I texted her to let her know every step and that I quit due to the fact I am having to deal with this. The cop even asked her, why does she NOT have a key? She said trust issues. Cop said, you can trust her with your kids but not that, whats more important? I asked MB for my pay, and she denied it saying its going toward fixing the door; so glad the cop was there he talked her into paying me. I did show the cop my text history for that event, he said I handled it the best I could, and offered to be a reference on my new job hunt. The cop also talked to the older kid.
ReplyDeleteI always say I need a house key now. Or We can't go out outings. If I can't go out outings I don't accept the job.
Horrible woman! So glad you quit!!!
Deletei am sorry you guys are dealing with people like this - very inappropriate to not give a house key
ReplyDeleteI didn't get a key ever in almost two years.
ReplyDeleteI agree that if you're taking care of their children, you should get a key.
Well, here are 2 situations that I've been in regarding house key which I feel are fine.
ReplyDelete1) Got the house key the first day of work (I forgot them couple of times and the parents had to also give me the garage code so the kids and I could get back in)
2) Extremely wealthy stay at home mom (dad was mostly home too, tbh). I got the alarm codes, garage code, car keys but not house keys. That is until one of the kids started getting up at 6-7am, my hours changed to reflect that, and the very first day that mom had to get up and open the doors for me at 6:30am, I got the key.
With the second family I think it was more of the 'no extra keys made' than trust issue (they did give me all the codes and the car keys), and the moment I'd hear such a thing, I'd have a serious talk with the family. If they cannot trust me with the keys how can they trust me with their children? As a nanny, I WILL see and hear everything anyhow, believe me! I've had children repeat parents' fights, comments, even dirty talk (children really have a hearing of a bat and a mouth of a parrot!)! I will see you in your underwear, PJs & no makeup. I will see your unmade bed and where's the safe. And I have absolutely no interest in it. I'm an honest person, you trust me not to steal your child, right? Do you really think, I'll sneak in and spray paint your walls then? That's why many nanny become 'part of the family' - it's just impossible to have 100% privacy and a nanny.
a key to the place you are working is integral to being able to DO YOUR JOB. If they cannot provide you with the tools that you need to do your job well and safely, then you need not to stay there. A key to the house is not a privilege you EARN. Be super firm and tell them that without a key , or open door, or garage code, to get into the house, etc. you quit.
ReplyDeleteBetter yet, just quit
jeez, I even give occasional babysitters my keys. If I trust you with my kids, of course I trust you with my material possessions! They are loons. Quit! They will never treat you well if they have that attitude.
ReplyDeleteExactly!
DeleteYes you should quit. Trust me with your kids but not your house key? That is ridiculous
ReplyDeleteHow incredibly unfair! So, the parents trust you with their child but they don’t trust you with their key? How else are you supposed to get back in without a key after taking their child to gymnastics lesson? I don’t blame you. I would be ready to quit. In fact, I would have already quit.
ReplyDelete