I will admit it. I am bitter. I had a brand new nanny I hired in May to work with my children. I chose her for her skills in activities and keeping the children busy. I offered her a pay rate. She asked to be paid off the books. I told her that was illegal, that we only paid on the books. She asked for more money and said she needed to bring home $750 a week. I told her I could not do that, but we would talk about a raise in the fall.
6 weeks she lasted. She didn't return one Monday. I texted her, called her and emailed her and she would not even respond. It has been brought to my attention that she is now working for another family. The single reason she left our job? She is making $800 cash per week and qualifying for a pell grant and medicaid! She's 23!
The person who told me this is another nanny who explained it to me matter of factly, as if this was the natural way she would chose to go. As in I shouldn't be offended, this is just better. Who is this better for? It's not better for my children who don't know what happened to their fun nanny. It's not better for me. As a working woman in a make dominated field, my professionalism is still called into question when I have to report childcare issues. Issues like... standing in the kitchen drinking coffee waiting for a nanny who never showed up. It isn't better for our city or our country. It isn't better for people who deserve the aid that she is eeking up needlessly. How common is this? The way the nanny I spoke to talked to me, it was as if I should have known better.
I want to report her and her employer. Yes, because I'm bitter, but also because it's wrong. It's also wrecking our economy! Tell me what I need and who and how to report this!
6 weeks she lasted. She didn't return one Monday. I texted her, called her and emailed her and she would not even respond. It has been brought to my attention that she is now working for another family. The single reason she left our job? She is making $800 cash per week and qualifying for a pell grant and medicaid! She's 23!
The person who told me this is another nanny who explained it to me matter of factly, as if this was the natural way she would chose to go. As in I shouldn't be offended, this is just better. Who is this better for? It's not better for my children who don't know what happened to their fun nanny. It's not better for me. As a working woman in a make dominated field, my professionalism is still called into question when I have to report childcare issues. Issues like... standing in the kitchen drinking coffee waiting for a nanny who never showed up. It isn't better for our city or our country. It isn't better for people who deserve the aid that she is eeking up needlessly. How common is this? The way the nanny I spoke to talked to me, it was as if I should have known better.
I want to report her and her employer. Yes, because I'm bitter, but also because it's wrong. It's also wrecking our economy! Tell me what I need and who and how to report this!
Stop being bitter, stay out of other people's business, and stop hiring nannies you can't afford. You can lie all you want and say you're reporting them because its wrong, but the truth is, you're doing it for revenge. It's not your concern. Get over it.
ReplyDeleteGet over it. Hire someone new. If she wasn't contracted there's nothing you can do.
ReplyDeleteI kind of agree. I am a nanny that will only work on the books but I have several friends that work off the books and make more money than me and are also reviewing food stamps and other government help because they have no claimed income. It drives me crazy!!!!!!! I think nannies should hold themselves in a more professional manner and start pushing for being paid on the books and contracts. Trust me, it will bite her in the butt sometime when she is trying to buy a car or rent a place to live because it will be very hard when she has no income on paper. It catches up to you.
ReplyDeleteYes, agree , don't waist your energy, if she is off the book, it will catch up in her life at some point ( mortgage,renting, paperworks).
ReplyDeleteWhat goes around comes around. I suggest you move on and let karma do his work with your former Nanny.
It's not great, but she needed 750 net/take home. You couldn't do that, she went elsewhere. Honestly, 750 is cheap for a nanny. I don't agree with the paying off books thing as I think we should all work legally. It's for her protection as well. Down the line, she'll need to establish a work history, credit and qualify for unemployment should she be fired through no fault of her own. It's very unprofessional of her to leave without notice. Then again I haven't met too many professional 23 yr olds. Don't be bitter though. Get a new nanny, pay what she needs if you can afford it. Otherwise, cheaper nannies will almost always leave when more money is offered. I get poaching attempts all the time. Other moms will lure your nanny away with money. Especially of she feels underpaid.
ReplyDeleteAgree with the others. What strikes me most about this post is you trying to act like a martyr...its not better for me, children, city, country blah blah bs! Give me a break. Welcome to the world of being an employer. Newsflash, this happens I EVERY type of job by many different ages and sexes. Professional? No. Happens? Yeah. This isn't a "nanny" issue. Its life. Stop being a mombie and think like an employer. Your children nor you are going to suffer here. Suck it up and move on.
ReplyDeleteAngi
I agree that your righteous indignation for the welfare of the children /country / world seems verrrrrrrry insincere. It's ok to admit that your p'd off someone paid your nanny enough to leave. Having a nanny isn't a necessity. It's a luxury. If you cannot afford to pay at least the going rate in your area, be prepared for poaching. Happens in most fields. Nannies in particular talk to other nannies about rates and benefits. You simply didn't offer a competitive rate
ReplyDeleteI work under the table mostly because most families in my area that I work with a) can't afford to pay me on the books and b) are more loyal than a family that's on the books, in my experience.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, you couldn't pay what she needed and she offered you an alternative to pay her off the books. You offered a raise IN MONTHS. She needed that now. So, yes, she left.
Your outrageous indignation sounds fake and your 'male dominated' work field was your own choice to go into. You knew having children this would happen. Get off your high horse, be more clear and concise with the next nanny and make it known that you ONLY pay on the books and you can ONLY afford up to 750 a week.
But be prepared for nannies to leave. It happens. A lot. Especially if you suck.
be aware that the harsh , dishonest, anti- work ethic hypocrisy you are seeing written here from some posters is the norm these days, unfortunately, many people only only care about themselves with literally no thought at all to their word and character - it's actually the norm these days and you will be lucky to find differently - but you can! best wishes
ReplyDeleteI've been in the nannys situation before. If you need a certain amount of money then you need it. I'll admit I've taken a lesser paying job just until I find one who will pay me what I need. Taxes are expensive. As a 23 year old nanny myself, I enjoy being paid off the books. I don't apply for welfare but you have no right to complain about what she does. And I agree with the other commenters, your whole self righteous martyrdom attitude is extremely transparent.
ReplyDeleteThough I agree she should have given notice to you, she had every right to leave. She told you what she needed, and you underpaid her. It sounds like she's completely on her own here with no parents helping her out. I was in the same situation when I was her age. She's also a student and needed healthcare, and could not afford to pay it with your salary. Have you also seen the price of college these days?? I don't blame her for wanting to qualify for the pell grant, it's not as cheap to go like it was when some other older people went to school. I spent close to $900 for a semester's worth of books. Just books. You think you could survive that with her salary now?
ReplyDeleteI know you're bitter, but she doesn't seem to have a lot to fall back on. Show some empathy.
It doesn't seem like an issue of empathy. We all have our problems. Most of us have bills to pay. Does it suck when off the books nannies make more and also qualify for Gov assistance?
ReplyDeleteYes it does, but I'd still prefer to be paid on the books. I need to have an established work history, be able to pay into SS, and contribute like everyone else.
College is expensive. Finding a good nanny is tough. Neither issue is shocking or deserving of coddling. Life is hard. This isn't a newsflash! OP is angry that nanny didn't stay out of love alone. Most people would leave if offered more money. No matter the job.
@RBTC in several posts now you come in championing parents and or chastising nannies for their tone. Stop policing the site. We're all adults and do not need minding. I personally don't think this site exists to help families or nannies. It's a place where both sides have their say- IMHO. Anyone who posts here should put on his/her big boy/girl pants on and be prepared for disagreement. It's the internet. People have will have differing opinions.
This is just a suggestion. I am aware that you can continue to preach love and gentleness if you so choose.
Aren't you policing RBTC's post right now? Pot/kettle and whatnot.
DeleteTouche ;))
DeleteWhy is anyone preaching about ethics for nannies??? Why is it ethical for the mother to underpay her employee? The nanny was straightforward with her salary requirements and the mother declined! Why should she stay for less than she's worth? If I were her, I would have left too. The mother obviously didn't care about the nanny and her needs, so why should the nanny be obligated to care for the mother's? It's not professionalism to treat your employees as 'less than' so preaching about ethics and professionalism here is pure hypocrisy. You got what you deserved.
ReplyDeleteWhat are y'all even on about? The employer couldn't meet the nannies requirements and the nanny took the job anyway, knowing she'd leave the parent high and dry once something better came along (that allowed her to avoid paying taxes while mooching off the taxes the rest of us pay to buy her education and health care.) This nanny hasn't been victimized in any way yet you're chastising the parent for some imagined horrible treatment. On other posts the same folks will criticize parents for NOT paying on the books. What the what?
ReplyDelete*nanny's requirements. Thanks, autocorrect. :/
DeleteEvery nanny requires something different, just like every family does as well. She took the job, yeah. She was honest about her requirements, mom refused, thought she could underpay in a competitive market, nanny knew her worth, didn't settle, and found something that better suited her needs. That is capitalism, this is a free market. She is free to do that. It wasn't right how she left, but it is right that she chose to leave. And you don't really know the agreement she has now with the family she works with now, this mother sounds bitter and willing to do whatever, no matter what the truth is, to get revenge. I applaud the nanny for doing what was best for her, but disagree with the method in which she did it.
ReplyDeleteYou. Suck. How in the hell do you know that she doesnt deserve the help? Did you know about her life? Get over it. Put your kid in daycare
ReplyDelete