I don't know how to respond to this. The family I worked for recently hired a new weekend nanny. She works Sat & Sun from 10-8. She has only been with the family since the beginning of May. Right away, I got a bad sense from her. It turns out she is interested in a full time job, most specifically my job. The mother actually had a sit down with me and said, "*Jill is interested in working for us on a more regular basis, so I wanted to sit down and talk to you about what you think your plans are through next year". She was nice about it but mentioned that after three years, she would understand if I was feeling burned out. She made several suggestions. One is that I reduce my hours, and she could pick up one or two of my days, or I could take the weekend job and she could assimilate into the weekday job or nothing could change at all. Of course, I want nothing to change at all, but the very fact that she raised these issues with me after such a short time with new nanny has me heartbroken. She told me she didn't need an answer now and she assured me that Jill didn't know that she was talking to me. She presented it as a possible out for me if I was looking for one. I don't get it. I know that my performance is consistently awesome. I get that Jill might be dazzling them right now, but she is the new and fresh face. She strikes me as sneaky and up to no good. Let's see her three years down the road! How do I recover from this? I'm mad at myself that I feel so hurt, but I cannot shake this awful feeling!
*not her real name.
How awful for you. Tell them how you feel. How you feel about the job position (you sound happy). Tell them you like to stay regardless of what position you take. Just be honest with them.
ReplyDeleteI understand a family checking in with the nanny periodically to see if her long-term plans have changed. But suggesting giving up full-time hours for part-time work to give those hours to someone else? If my nanny family pulled that after three years I would start seeking other employment.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad but sometimes family needs change as the kids get older. Some nannies are amazing with babies and toddlers, others better with school age. I think this was the mom's polite way of telling you that they feel it is time for a change. A shitty way to do it, but that's my take on it. I would start looking for another family maybe.
ReplyDeleteI think the fact that she checked in with you is indication that 'Jill' interests them. She's new and shiny and probably doing those things that you do when new in a family. Basically, the honeymoon phase. She isn't sneaky to want more hours, but your boss seems amenable to giving her your hours, so I'd start looking elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like it may have just been the mom thinking that a new situation could work out in the event that you wished to shorten your hours. I don't believe they want to replace you at all, but rather make sure that you are still enjoying your hours and position. I believe that if you tell her you do not want anything to change, she will be totally okay with that! She is probably just trying to be open and honest with you, and let you know that this would be your out, if you wish for one. I totally understand feeling hurt though! I hope all gets better.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are feeling hurt, I would be too. I also agree with everything that this_nick said. I'd have my ear to the ground and be starting the process to find a new family.
ReplyDeleteWhen I had been with my current family for 4 years they mentioned needing to make changes because there were two of us. I spoke right up and said I wanted to stay however if THEY chose the other nanny then I would be heart broken but would understand. That I would just ask for a far amount of notice to find something else. I now have been here over 5 years and they let the other nanny go with plenty of notice. If you love your job then tell them how you feel and put the "ball in their court". I wish you the bar of luck and hope you will let us know what happens.
ReplyDelete*Best of luck
DeleteThis happened to me last year; the difference is, I WAS burned out and was grateful to have the new nanny pick up quite a few hours. I hadn't known how to raise this issue with MB so having her bring it up and offer me an out was a relief. I haven't lost my position as the top childcare provider, and she makes sure to check in with me periodically to see how many hours I need/want to keep everyone happy.
ReplyDeleteDon't be too quick to assume the worst! :)
Start looking for a new job so you are not left out in the cold. They are phasing you out.
ReplyDelete