I have an experience to share. I recently interviewed for my first nanny. I went through two agencies, so in essence, candidates were pre screened. I had a strange encounter with one and it unnerved me as a new mom. The nanny had worked as a doula, baby nurse and lactation consultant. She asked me if I intended to breastfeed. I said yes. She asked me for how long. I told her I didn't know I was new to the whole thing. She told me I was going in to the whole thing with the wrong mentality, that breastfeeding through age one was preferential and the only reason to stop early is if the child self weaned dramatically early. This was of course, enough for me to realize she wasn't the nanny I wanted. I sought to wrap up the interview, politely. I let her know we still had other candidates to interview and we were in the very early stages of interviewing. The interview was on Saturday. I received an email from her Tuesday night with no less than 30 breast feeding links and addresses of lactation consultants in my area. She suggested she hoped she wasn't overstepping (really?) but that many new mothers failed to appreciate the benefits of breastfeeding until their second or third child and she didn't want me to suffer that guilt. Then she helpfully added that if I was not medically able to breastfeed that she had connections to breast milk suppliers who sell and donate their breastmilk to unable mothers. I'm in Scarsdale, NY. This all felt REALLY strange to me. I contacted the agency to let the nanny know we had no intention of hiring her and she should not call or email me again. I just wanted to share this. I know I am emotional, but isn't this really invasive and presumptious?? And this candidate had never even been a mother!!
YES -- it was really invasive and presumptuous. It's one thing to want to give a new mother information you think might be useful; it's another to beat her over the head with it. Next!
ReplyDeleteBreastappo! I exclusively nursed my first for 19 months and am still nursing my youngest (they are bottle refusers), but these people that push breastfeeding as the only way drive me bonkers. Whatever works for the individual mom and baby is the right way! And keep your unsolicited parenting advice, on whatever subject, to yourself!
ReplyDeleteShe probably doesn't realize how annoying it is given that she's never been a mom though. I used to offer advice to parents before I was a mom on account of my experience with my nephews and nieces and baby sister who is 20 years younger than me all the time - its only now that I am a mom I realize how annoying I must have been. haha!
It's really invasive! She doesn't know the meaning of the word boundary! Glad you're going another route
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