Karen: "Can anyone give me words that begin with B?"
Child: "Booze".
Karen and I looked at each other, to be sure we heard what we thought we heard...
Karen: "Booze?"
Luccio: "Yeah. Booze. You know, the stuff they don't sell to kids because it's sour. My mom told me that".
I had been working as a nanny for twin five year old girls for two months. I had a feeling the mother wasn't in love with me, but...
"Amy, I think you are so pretty," Twin One
"Thank you, twin 1, you are so pretty, too," Me
"Not an ugly bitch," Twin two
"Twin Two!!!!!!" Me
"No, I'm not saying it, mommy is saying it, 'fuck that ugly bitch,'" Twin two
"We don't talk like that! That is not okay, " Me
"Sad news is your the ugly bitch." Twin One
This was at the day care center I work at. The children were standing in line, getting ready to go back to the classroom after being outside:
Max: "Fuck". (he said this under his breath)
Isabella (at the end of the line who overheard this child say the word, shouting across the gym): "Miss Emily, Max said "fuck".
We had just finished making a frame and placing in a stellar piece of child's artwork in the framefor Dad's 40th birthday.
4 year old charge:, "Nanny, I know what we can put with Daddy's picture"
Me, "What?"
4 year old charge;, "those jeans from TV. Mommy says Daddy has big balls and that will help that".
Recently, over spring break with kindergarten and first graders: Max had arrived in the classroom as we were going to the gym. Max was in line, and his mom was in the cubby area, looking through his cubby for something....
Me: "OK everyone, we are going to slip out of the classroom so quietly Max's mom won't even know we are gone".
Haley: "Ummm, Miss Dani, wouldn't she know we are gone after you just said that we are leaving?"
Monday morning over Spring break, I take my seven year old charge to a ballet program. It started at 9 in the morning, so my week started getting her ready and out the door. We go the ballet program which is more intense than regular and specialized but my charge is just sitting there.
I quietly try to cajole her to get her out on the floor with the other dancers and say, "Come on 'May', lets get out there. Mommy and Daddy are so excited to come to your performance on Friday."
She says very loudly, "You don't know"
I just look at her, as does everyone in the class and she screams, "Mommy and Daddy are getting divorced and it's a secret and MY HEART HURTS."
(It's not a secret anymore)
Have some kidspeak to share with ISYN? Email isynblog@gmail.com or message us on Facebook!
Hilarious! Keep them coming. I love the one about the jeans and big balls. Priceless.
ReplyDeleteI love these. Not really the last one though. That's sad, not funny.
ReplyDeleteI laughed at all but the last one, That broke my heart.
ReplyDeleteSeems like some people need to remember to censor what they say around little ears.
I think I'll have to write down my favorites over the years and submit them.
Orskick.... Earthquake
ReplyDeleteFuckersnotch....smugglers notch ski house
Fuck.. Truck.. Which I think we've all had!!
They're now at Chicago Uni and MIT, so I think I did something right!!
That was adorable (except for the last one, I agree, poor little one.)
ReplyDeleteGreat idea for a new feature :)
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, what my current charge says most often is her name and 'owie' ALL DAY LONG! (tearing out my hair) Her mom's a bit of a drama queen too ;)
Wow...how horrid that a parent would refer to her nanny as a fat and ugly bitch...esp. in front of her own children.
ReplyDeleteIf heard that my bosses referred to me like that, you bet I would just bolt out the door the second they came home.
But not w/out first putting some "Nair" hair remover in their shampoo. Or cleaning their toilet w/their toothbrushes. LOL.