I nanny an almost three year old boy who has some digestive issues. He hadn't had a bm in almost three days and so when it happened today you can only imagine the mess. He hates getting his diaper changed and screamed and squirmed resulting in mess getting everywhere on me and him. It even managed to get in my hair. So, I cleaned him up and put him down for a nap and hopped in the shower to try and wash it out of my hair. My hair is very long and it's not very possible to just wash it in the sink. I had my phone and the baby monster in the bathroom with me. My DB came home on lunch break (which he never does) and freaked out when he realized I had been in the shower. I was out and getting dressed again when he actually came in the house. I explained the situation to him and he said I should have called one of them to come home so that I could go home and change and clean up then come back to work. I live twenty minutes away so that just seems like a waste of time. Was the freak out from my boss acceptable? I was also wondering what other things have the nannies on this site had their bosses freak out about?
So he expected you to jump in your car and drive, poop covered, home. Can't imagine how your car would smell, esp in the summer!! If he's never normally home then you weren't expecting him and its completely fair that you should want to wash your hair ( who wouldn't! ) his freak out was totally unacceptable. Besides you had the baby monster in the bathroom with you( sorry! Couldn't resist that typo!,) If he is still bothered by this explain that this is one of the hazards of chilcare, explosive poop, amongst other bodily fluids.
ReplyDeleteNo one of my bosses, in 15 years, would have blinked at me taking a shower to get poop, or vomit, or sunblock or snot off of me. and i have worked for every kind of person. what a dumbass your boss is.
ReplyDelete3 year old boy in diapers? Start potty training that kid! What's the hold up?
ReplyDeleteDB's freak out was unacceptable. Maybe he was just uncomfortable because there was a naked woman in his house. Or man. I don't know what you are. I'm sure the mom understands and if she brings it up, explain. If they think it's such a huuuuuuuge deal, whatever. Drop it. It's over and done with.
@hobokenanny He is a special needs child and not at the developmental stage to be potty trained yet. I wish he was able because he is getting very difficult to change his diaper. The mb did apologize for her husband and say she has no problem with me taking a shower when the boy is napping. I'm hoping another incident won't happen where I need to take one but you never know with kids lol.
ReplyDeleteThat is ridiculous. The little one was napping you had the monitor,and the situation warrented a shower. I also assume thou weren't wandering about the house in the nude or half dressed.
ReplyDeleteMy guess is the freak out had to do with his own embarrassment and possibly coming close to catching you half dressed. He is probably embarrassed by his flip out.
Is your little one seeing a specialist ? When the time comes OTs can be wonderful resources when it comes to toilet training.
I think your boss was most definitely over~reacting here. Perhaps he is a bonafide neat freak and it freaks him out for someone besides a family member to take a shower in his bathroom. Who knows?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am glad his wife at least understands.
You did nothing wrong.
Oh my gosh...I don't think I could work for a family that had a problem with me using their shower. That is just ludicrous! I have been peed and vomited on so many times...it comes with the territory. That doesn't mean I have to walk around with it on my body all day long or call MB or DB to relieve me so I can drive home to shower. What was his reasoning?! It just seems so silly, you are both adults. Come on, buddy.
ReplyDeleteLol happened to me but mb was still home. She even gave me a shirt to borrow while I washed mine. Moms get it. Dads not so much.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only nanny that doesn't shower every time a body fluid touches me? Yes I change clothes always have several with me. I also bring dirty clothes bags to carry the dirty clothes.
ReplyDeleteNot saying you did anything wrong. If I had long hair I probably would have washed it too, but I kept it short.
Yes he overreacted, but I also wouldn't make a huge deal out of it.
Yeah, I think he definitely overreacted. If the kiddo was asleep, there shouldn't have been any problem. Glad MB stood up for you.
ReplyDeleteI LOLed at "baby monster". Gotta love auto-correct!
Yeah I agree that DB overreacted. Although I've never had to shower I have had to borrow MB's sweatpants and tshirt. After being hacked on...twice. Outfit 1 and on outfit 2 haha. I would have totally showered if I got POOP IN MY HAIR! It's POOP, wash that mess out immediately!!
ReplyDeleteI've had a previous DB walk in while I was feeding the baby, R then 3 months, a bottle and watching TV. He said I would give the baby ADD by letting him watch TV. MB said they had talked about not letting him watch TV when he was older but at this age he wasn't even looking at it. DB wasn't too happy that she didn't stand up for him but come on. He was weird toward me after that even tho I kept it off from that point on. I still thought he could've been nicer about it
i had a dad freak out about the tv too. there was a very small tv in the kitchen and the little boy was a smart cookie, he was barely 2 and knew i did not know it was forbidden so he pointed to it with a cute expression on his face
ReplyDeletei turned it on and the dad was in the house and saw it was on and did not say anything to me but gave me a harsh look and then the mom in a not rude but annoying way acted like i had done something that would ruin his life
the little cutie got me introuble - people who deal with you like that is why i got out of nannying
Parents do react over the strangest thing.
ReplyDeleteI would let it go unless he gives you further problems, in which case it's time to move on.
Just a suggestion as a long haired nanny. I always keep my hair tied up and use a wide headband, so by in large my hair is covered.
I don't know your background or experience, but has the reasons behind him not wanting to be changed been explored?
Is your charge receiving early intervention by a specialist like an Occupational therapist or anything? They might able to offer you suggestions on how to manage diaper time if this is specific to his needs. My aunt is an OT working with pediatric populations and this is something she does fairly regularly.
I've never had a parent over react like that before, but once, I nannied for a little boy (2) who hit me so hard with his drum stick, it left a nasty red line on my arm (didn't go away for days). I said "no! No hitting!" His dad heard and asked what happened. I told him and he said it was my fault because I gave him the wrong drum sticks for the drum he was using.
ReplyDeleteBasically the opposite of an overreaction. Needless to say, I didn't stay with hat family too long.
knittynanny
ReplyDeleteThat is terrible!
Glad you got out of that one.
One thing I've learned caring for kids is that parents can and do excuse any and all misbehavior, often blaming nanny, and then act confused when their kiddos are totally out of control and their home is in chaos.
OMG, your DB is silly! Calling MB or DB to come home and stay for more than an hour is crazy. Of course you should shower. I mean, what would DB do if it happened to him while he was alone with the child?
ReplyDeleteI had a dad freak out completely because I left my 4½ years old charge alone in the (fenced) yard while I helped my 18 months old charge up the stairs to the front door, got inside and took his boots and snowsuit off.
I mean did you leave the child in a fenced front yard or backyard? If you left the child alone in a backyard, and you were in the front yard I wouldn't be thrilled.
ReplyDeleteI can see why dad wasn't pleased with you leaving your charge outside alone.
ReplyDeleteWhy not bring both children in together?
Um I would never leave a child in the yard alone. ANYTHING could happen!
ReplyDeleteI should specify. I'm Danish, and in Denmark it is common and in fact expected for twos and older to play outside alone. Parents as well as daycares let them play outside alone for short amounts of time.
ReplyDeleteMind you, we also put our infants to sleep in their strollers outside for hours as long as it's not colder than -10 degrees (Yes, minus 10.)
Nannyinutah, where are u located? Im in the P.C. and SLC area. To the op yes he difinitely over reacted. I agree with the pp that he may have been embarrased by the idea of u naked in his home.
ReplyDeleteI nanny in Lindon utnanny.
ReplyDeleteWas that father not Danish?
ReplyDeleteYou let babies sleep outside when the temp is below freezing?
Are you at least watching them from a window or something? I just cannot fathom leaving small children totally unsupervised for hours alone outside.
I let my 3.5 year old charge play outside by himself in the backyard (3 sides fenced in, 4th side is open). His parents are aware and encourage this. This is not uncommon in the town where I live. He knows to stay in the backyard and I peek on him every couple minutes. He loves the independent alone time (and so do I!)
ReplyDeleteOh for Pete's sake a nearly 5 year old child was playing in a childproof fenced in backyard is being frowned on! Give me a break! You heard the nanny she was helping the smaller child in the house & from what it sounds like let the older child play outside while she got the younger child in order. What none of you have ever had your hands full? Last time I checked nobody is bionic! Yes anything can happen but does that mean nannies cannot leave a room to go to the bathroom or put something away I mean geez something can happen. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteHe was originally from Norway, but the mother was Danish, they lived in Denmark and there was nothing that suggested that they did things different than other Danish people.
ReplyDeleteYes, we let babies sleep outside as long as it is not colder than -10 degrees. OF COURSE we check on them. Either we watch them from windows or we put monitors on them (only I don't trust monitors completely, so I always check on them anyway, monitor or not).
DB did NOT over react. If child was special needs then OP was WRONG. I know the selfish and self centered nannies who don't use their heads to pull hair back when baby sitting a child think other wise but why would you want your hair around that anyway if it's really that long? That's ASKING for and GETTING it messed up. He probably expects and pays you to be available to his child while you are there. I'm sure OP that while you had the monster with you that if something happened by the time you stopped the shower, dried off, got dressed and did your hair any situation would be a lot worse. I've had very long hair and if it's not pulled back it gets pulled, I've gotten a comb wrapped in it from the ends up to the scalp, I've gotten gum in it, and other stuff. Changing is acceptable, showering and leaving special needs child alone is not. If you were my nanny you'd be out the door minus that days pay PLUS a job.
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