Hi, I would like to get some advice about a couple of things that bother me. I have been working for this family for the last 5 months. They have a one year old baby girl. The mom works shifts so if she is working, I am working. Sometimes I work while dad is at the home office and sometimes he arrives from work right before I put the baby in her crib (around 7:30). I feed her around 6pm and we play for a while before going to bed. The dad brings take out food for his dinner around 90% of the time. He brings it upstairs to the baby's room and eats sitting down on the floor while they both play. Sometimes the kitty joins them and dad feeds both the kitty and the baby.
A few days ago we were playing, dad came with sushi and the kitty came to the room. Dad started to give avocado slices to the baby (she already had dinner at 6 and this was around 7:15). Dad showed the avocado to the kitty and told him, "what are you smelling? you know you do not like it!" and gave the avocado to the baby. He did this 3 or 4 times more. He showed the avocado to the kitty, told him it was not for him and fed the baby. I am not sure if I should tell him that he shouldn't do that. For me is obvious that he shouldn't play like that with the kitty's feelings. Btw, the kitty has a very short fuse and he gets angry very fast. And one more thing. Do you think that he should feed the baby again at 7:15 when she already had dinner at 6pm? It's not like he is eating at the kitchen table and the baby is sitting down with him. They are on the floor of her room eating! I think she should learn that dinner time is at the kitchen table at the same time everyday (more or less). Do you think is appropriate to have a 2nd dinner like that? I do not know if that will help the baby to have a bad relationship with food. Is she too young to create bad food relationships? Should I tell him something? Thank you very much all! - Pokenanny
this is just my opinion, but if this is the only thing to complain about - yay!
ReplyDeletewhen the dad starts his eccentric m.o. with the food - maybe have some treats available for the kitty - my cat likes temptations
avacado is actually good for you - having a healthy snack with dad - i don't think that will hurt
i had two charges in the past that part of our ritual was a very small snack before bedtime - they always wanted a pickle !
but i dunno - i am no expert, all opinions welcome !
I think at this age kids stop eating when they aren't hungry. I am sure it's hard to watch him tease the cat, but I don't think it's a huge deal. I agree with the suggestion to give the cat some treats.
ReplyDeleteAs long as the baby is getting to sleep OK after a little snack, not having tummy troubles from too much food or getting to much weight on I wouldn't worry about it.
ReplyDeleteIs it fair to the cat? No. It's also not worth confronting dad over. The only problem I can for see is the little girl learning to tease the cat which could cause the cat to react viciously as she grows. You can teach the girl not to do that on your own and if you think it is actually becoming a safety problem talk with dad. Schedules, routines, and manners are all important, but sometimes flexibility is needed.
I think you're trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Relax, let the dad enjoy his time with his daughter.
ReplyDeleteI really suggest that you do not interfere with this child's relationship with her Father. She is lucky she has a father who cares about her enough to bond with her like that.
ReplyDeleteIf she just had dinner, she won't be hungry enough to eat a full meal. Consider it a snack.
When you mentioned the part about the cat, I was unsure if this was a serious post. Honestly, it is his cat, his daughter, and you should probably not worry about any of it.
Lol, I too thought it was strange how she talked about the cat.
DeleteMoniker, you only know the information that I posted, and it's obviously not enough for you to judge me or the father.
ReplyDeletePlease, be nice.
The treats option is a good one, but it doesn't work. The kitty likes fresh fish or people's food better than treats. I'' try again to give him treats.
Thanks for the good advice!
OP, I don't read anything rude in Moniker's reply and I agree with her (or him), anytime someone has told me how I should do something pertaining to my children similar to your complaints here, I have politely told them to butt out. I promise that if you bring this concern up, the dad will dismiss it and the parents will probably laugh behind your back. I am truly not trying to be snarky with you...just straight forward about how I would respond in this situation.
Deletei understand the Ops concern about the kitty - i love animals also and it's wrong to tease an animal like that and i agree with the PP who said that is a bad message to send to the child
ReplyDeleteMaybe Op can pick up the kitty and hug it while the dad is playing with dd, or save a piece of food for the kitty
A nanny that cares for an animal is most likely to be a caring nanny for a child
but - i also agree it's a bonding moment for the dad and dd and you just have to let them so their thing
let us know what happens Op
Honestly, the cat will be fine. I have two cats, and my husband teases then relentlessly, and they manage just fine. It bothers me more than it bothers them :) In terms of feeding. The baby a little snack before bed, like other posters said, if the baby is sleeping just fine, no big deal. Really, she won't eat if she's not hungry. I also agree with Moniker- this little baby is lucky to have a dad who wants to spend what time he can with her. I've worked for several families where the parents can't be bothered to spend time even with their baby. Trust me though- I've had moments where I get irritated with small things parents do too. I think it happens to us all.
ReplyDeleteI apologize for the weird way the part about giving the baby a snack is written- my iPhone omitted a few words there! I think you get my point though.
DeleteI said nothing rude. I merely pointed out that it's odd to worry about a can't hurt feelings.
ReplyDeleteAlso, where exactly did I say anything you could construe as judgmental about the dad?
Sorry, but I have no idea how to be "nice" in this context. I wasn't being rude. I simply find it hard to believe that someone would want to stop a dad from sharing his dinner or teasing his own cat. Neither are a crime, and neither are your business.
not can't, cat*.
ReplyDeleteFor those thinking this isn't a big deal, maybe not. Of course dad can eat whatever he wants, wherever he wants. However, if dad is allowing this kitty to sniff around the food, paw at it, etc.. then feeding it to his baby, sorry but that's a no-no. Kitty litter is so dangerous. They even advise pregnant woman to have someone else scoop the litter because they can get Toxoplasmosis:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.justmommies.com/articles/toxoplasmosis-cat-litter.shtml
Wow, do none of you care about the cat here? The dad is mistreating this animal. He is doing nothing wrong by feeding the baby avocado in her room, IMO, but he is being really mean to the cat. Not only is he perhaps turning this cat against him and the baby, he is teaching his child not to respect animals, even her own pets. I also would hesitate to work for someone who treats their pets like that. It shows a deeper, perhaps subconscious lack of respect for all living things.
ReplyDeleteI thought this post was a joke at first...
ReplyDelete*raise hand*
ReplyDeleteI don't care about the cat. I don't like cats. my family has 2 and yes, I feed, let them out and empty the litter box but I'd rather them have a bearded dragon or something. frankly if the dad for a what I do for their cats then really...that's good enough for a cat.
if anything it needs to know that the baby comes first over it's own needs.
The family I nanny for has a 2 cats. the things are also mean to the baby. idk y they still have them.
DeleteIs dad feeding the baby the cat's shit or while sitting in the litter box?
ReplyDeleteAs long as he's not feeding the cat the avocado I would let it go.
Is it nice. No? The daughter might get scratched in the future if she feeds the cat
But I wouldn't confront him over it. Especially about the snack.
Sometimes you have to separate your personal beliefs/preferences from the job.
At this point it's not worth risking being seen as busybody nanny to confront dad over.
ReplyDeletePetsAreChildrenToo, thank you! I see I am not the only one who thinks that he should treat better his cat and not tease him.
OP maybe I missed something here but just a thought (from a kitty loving nanny) do ya think there's a chance he offered avocado to the kitty in the past and the kitty really didn't like it??? If he normally does feed the kitty too, alongside the baby like you said.
ReplyDeleteUh as a loving owner of two kitties, I can assure you the cat could care less if he got a bite of avocado or not. My kitties love to sniff out anything I eat and I am sure they would love to eat some as well. However, it is not healthy to give kitties everything they want. Don't worry, kitty will be just fine.
ReplyDeleteI think it is great that the Dad likes to spend time w/his little baby before bed time. There are so many parents who do not make this time for their kids, so let Dad and baby enjoy this time.
I would keep your opinions to yourself.
Why ruin a good thing?