This may seem trivial but my nanny and housekeeper have gotten pretty chummy lately. The only thing that really concerns me is if they're discussing personal family issues and comparing things like their salaries and benefits. What would be the best way to nip this before it becomes more serious? I've been to the park with my children and heard on more than one occasion nannies discussing the families they work for and I find that a terrible breach of trust. I understand that everyone needs to vent but with it so close to home it concerns me. What would you parents do? And for the nannies, what would be a better way to vent? Maybe I could sit down with them and talk this over. Or would that be a bad idea? - Anonymous
Have to be honest here...
ReplyDeleteHousehold staff talks. Especially when they're in a bad working environment. I've worked for 5 different families over the years. Some great, some okay, and a couple terrible. You can bet that I didn't "gossip" about the nice families. In my most toxic work environment, the only thing that kept the staff sane was venting to each other.
Not so professional, sure, but when family treats you like garbage you stop worrying about being professional.
I don't mean to say that you're a bad employer. Your employees might just be becoming friends. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. And odds are that the job, aka your family, will come up in conversation, because people talk about things that they have in common. But if your staff are good people and you treat them well, they'll feel loyalty to you and they wont WANT to air any dirty laundry.
Bottom line- there's no way to keep people from talking. You can add a confidentiality agreement, put up illegal cameras, and even hire spies to keep tabs, but if people want to talk, they will. Maybe not a solution, and I may get flamed for being unprofessional, but this is my honest take on the situation.
Agreed above 100% and well said!
DeleteNo matter how hard you try and what you do, you cannot stop them from communicating. I was wondering...why didn't you want them to discuss their salaries? Are you underpaying one of them?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, as long as you are a fair employer OP, you have nothing to worry about.
I think you have to count on them talking about you (and complaining about you) and discussing their salaries. That doesn't mean they hate their job, or you....any job gets frustrating at times. Whenever I've had sitters/nannies, they've always known that the cleaning person make more an hour than they do...that's just the way it is. With cleaning you work hard non-stop for shorter periods and it's yuckier work so you get paid a bit more. Childcare is longer hours but it isn't constant manual labor like scrubbing floors. I think most nannies understand this...that's why so many say the "don't get paid to clean"
ReplyDeletethere are times i send more than one employee into a job and because of seniority or other abilities one of them makes more money
ReplyDeletei have learned to tell the one making more money not to discuss the money and they always comply - they know any kind of drama might affect their own salary
i have learned that frequently the one making less - for normal reasons, they are new and raises will come, they do not provide their own equipment etc - will get upset that the other one is making more - so - it can be an issue, it's just human nature
OP here. Yes, a mom, that's the reason- our housekeeper makes more per hour than the nanny. I think we pay good rates for our area but since I think I'm overly particular cleanliness-wise, we pay a bit above average for the housekeeper. RBTC brings up a good point though. Should I specifically ask the HK not to mention her salary, so as not to offend the nanny? We allow the nanny much more freedom to do as she pleases with the children, she's really good with them, but her benefits are actually better than the housekeepers, to avoid burn-out. That's why I don't want them discussing it, one may get jealous of the other, or get upset with me.
ReplyDeleteThis is a common problem, but even more common is the nanny and housekeeper being competitive and not getting along!
ReplyDeleteHow did you find out they are discussing these things? Certainly, they are within their rights to discuss whatever they choose, but it is not a great idea to talk about your boss while at work! As an employer, I would not try to control their communication. But I would talk to each separately and ask that they keep the job talk to outside work hours. I would also consider adding a confidentiality clause to the nanny contract if you are concerned about personal family issues. But their jobs are different, their pay is likely different and they could not reasonably expect to "compare" the two jobs anyway so I would not worry too much about that unless you are grossly underpaying only one of these employees.
In most areas hkers or nannies seem to consistently make more and it varies by location. I would not worry. Your nanny IS going to get a sense of fair local rates for both jobs quickly, either from your hker or others. Most nannies very much do NOT want to do hking which suggests an awareness that it is a very different job and not at all comparable to childcare.
ReplyDeleteI honestly wouldn't worry about it too much. I think asking the higher paid employee to not discuss her salary would be helpful but I dont think there is really anything you can do to keep one from discussing their salary/benefits package with the other. Is it professional? No. But it does happen. Bottom line is, you are paying them different salaries for different jobs. As long as you are paying market value for each position then I wouldn't be concerned. One of the above pps is right in saying you never hear gossip about the "good" families. Personally, I would never discuss my salary with a current employer with anyone but my sweet husband. But if I leave a position I don't have an issue giving a ballpark figure to a nanny friend who is perhaps looking for work in that area and curious about the going rates. BBut even then, it's not like I would ever give out names.
ReplyDeleteYou asked how you can nip this friendship/discussion in the bud, well, I don't think you really can unfortunately.
Typically, Nannies and House keepers are competitive with each other. I think it says a lot about the individuals that you highered that they are working in the same enviroment and friendly. :)
I wouldn't be concerned about conversations between your nanny and Housekeeper. Nannies know housekeeping salaries are higher.
ReplyDeleteAs for the park bench nannies venting and gossiping in the playground. In my experience, these are women who are unhappy with their jobs, and for the most part with good reason. As was said above, if you are a good employer and your nanny loves her job, she will not be bad mouthing you. If you want to be sure she respects your family's privacy, you will need to find a casual way to bring the issue up.
Manhattan Nanny is right. But the beauty of the park bench/gossiping nannies is that they seldom last in our profession. Thank God.
ReplyDeleteI would not worry too much about it. Typically, housekeepers make more than nannies, and nannies know this.
ReplyDeleteI was a nanny for a very great family, who also had a full time housekeeper (she came in 5 days a week). She and I quickly became friends, and while yes, occasionally we discussed the family, most of our time chatting was because we were of similar age, working in the same household, and enjoyed having someone to talk to. Simple comraderie. Yes, we discussed pay, she was paid hourly, I was paid salary, and if we broke it down, she made more per hour than me.....but i got extra perks she did not. Neither one of us cared what the other made because we were both paid a nice wage and treated well.
If you have concerns, talk to your nanny and housekeeper, but honestly, they are probably just happy to be friends in a similar working envirnment and not plotting the best ways to air your family secrets. :)