Bad Nanny(ies) New York City. Battery Park City Playground. Few weeks ago (on Thursday, August 23rd), I took my charges to the Battery Park City's West Thames Park to meet their friend. . The weather was great and the playground was packed. My charges (9y and 10y) were enjoying web-like climbing apparatus and (later on) water guns. This newly renovated playground is great spot for older kids as well as toddlers and babies (there is a big section for young kids).
Anyway, to get to the point: We arrived around 4pm and spent there a little more than 2 hours. Very close to where I was standing I saw a little girl (around 2 years old?) sitting on the ground next to the bench where 3 women were sitting, chatting and enjoying their snacks (one of them had her legs on the stroller). The little girl was sitting right next to green-dress nanny's feet and I assumed that is the girl's nanny. There were no other way to figure which one is the girl's nanny since no one was interacting with a girl at all! I looked in their direction every couple of minutes and every time it was the same picture: 3 nannies were talking with each other, laughing, eating... while little girl was either sitting on the ground next to the bench or standing there watching other kids play and enjoy the spinning disc (I took a pic every 10 min or so) After maybe 40 minutes, 2 nannies (nanny in green and nanny in red) went outside of the playground (The playground is right in front of the residential building and they went towards the building and came back 15 min after), and the little girl was left with the nanny in grey.
I starting doubting that the nanny in green is girl's nanny but its hard to tell since no one was interacting or even looking at that poor child. The grey-shirt nanny checked if the girl's diaper is full without even looking at child. Then she took the girl on her lap and changed her diaper. Weird thing was that nanny was looking at the crowd in the park while changing her diapers and she barely looked at the little girl only once or twice while wiping her. I mean, I thought there is no way that she could have more ignored that poor child. Soon after the other 2 nannies came back, the party on the bench continued. It was the same situation for the rest of the time we were at the park. Around 6pm we were about to leave I saw little girl was sitting on the ground again, between green dress nanny's legs playing with that woman's feet!!! I felt so bad for that little girl. It was wonderful day at park, so many things to do and that girl for more than 2 hours didn't get to do anything except sit on the ground next to bench and watch other kids play. I didn't hear her crying or being upset for not getting any attention, and unfortunately it seemed to me that she is used to being ignored. I am not 100% sure that the nanny in green dress is her nanny or the one in gray shirt but I can send pictures and hope that girl's parents will see this. Please, take a look at those women and I hope someone will recognize them. I covered the children faces. English is my third language, so don't hate :) Thank you, Kat.
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very good documentation - thank you for taking the time to help this young girl - so sad that her caretaker would not play with her ;0(
ReplyDeletethat is what I call a stroller-trained child! Kids that young are taught to sit at the nannies feet and not venture more than a few feet away. If they do, they are strapped into the stroller as punishment....so they learn not to ask or try to go play on the equipment. When the child is old enough (say 4 and up) to navigate the playground equipment alone she will be allowed to do so, so long as the nanny doesn't have to get up off the bench....(these are classic bench nannies). I've seen hundreds of them in my lifetime and even had a few mom friends who have employed them (and no, they were not underpaid....one I knew well was paid $15 an hour - this was in 2001- and have full health benefits by her employer- for ONE child). Mom just didn't care, so long as nanny was out of the house all day (she worked from home).....sad that there are so many nannies like this, as well as parents who employ them.
ReplyDeleteI once submitted a post on here similar to this and subsequently reached out to my community because the nanny was so disconnected from the care she was supposed to provide that she managed to leave the child behind!! I found the mom, told her everything I witnessed and you know what, she cussed me out and told me to mind my fu$%ing business. So as "a mom" said, some parents are fully aware that they've hired a bench nanny and they don't care. Good sighting OP!
ReplyDeleteWow! Some moms are ok with their kids strapped in a stroller for hours? Maybe this is why I get strange looks when I bring out my infant charges to play . Selfish and ignorant to say the least! Kids must be allowed to take risks and socialize. And they must have an engaged an smiling caregiver! Those are basics people! I have never known a mom who didn't care about these things and I definitely wouldn't work for one.
ReplyDeleteIn my neighborhoods there are bench nannies everywhere. And there's always at least one kid in the stroller the whole time. I don't care how old they are, if they're at a park they need to be out of those damn contraptions- what's wrong with HOLDING a kid?
Op here. I just want to add that i have sent one more pic where the girl is sitting on the ground and playing with green dress nanny's feet! Pls MPP post that one too. I know it's not a good quality pic but it might help. Tnx
ReplyDeleteThis story is so sad and the pictures make it even worse. I am a 31 year old nanny and have been full time for 12 years now. I see this all of the time at the playgrounds here in Rhode Island! It's heartbreaking!! If you are going to take the children to the playground then let them play! I know a few of the nannies around here and they all make around $20/hour. That poor childs parents are paying those women to take care of their children, play with them, engage in different activities with them. These pictures make it clear that the women were at the playground for their own playdate. Pretty soon that child will speak up and it will be clear to the parents that the nannies are not capable of being caregivers.. Thank you for posting this.. I hope that young girls family sees this or knows of someone who does!
ReplyDeleteIf you're just there for the paycheck, burnt out, or do not like caring for children...do not be a nanny or child care worker.
ReplyDeleteFind another job doing something else
And if you're cheap, undervalue teachers and only care that your child is out if your hair- don't hire a nanny!
ReplyDeleteEastBayNanny/ I was talking more about the bad nanny sighting. But you have a point too. I agree about both nanny and parent.
ReplyDeleteGood sighting OP. By the way, your English was great! ☺
ReplyDeleteGreat pix too. Very clear.
Hope someone sees this and informs the parents.
Seems this nanny only likes to "kill time" so she can get her money and talk to her friends at the same time.
Bad Nanny!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mpp, thanks for adding the picture.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Just Saying, well said! Ha!! Love love it!!
ReplyDeleteI wish there was a way to log in as either a nanny, parent, or neither...
ReplyDeleteI have a hunch the above two posts are parents... interesting!
I really hate it when people bring it back on the OP and ask her why she wasn't watching her own kids.
ReplyDeleteIts a fair question. Id be way too busy taking care of my children to be snapping photos every ten minutes & carefully watching the moves of other moms.
DeleteI was just waiting for someone to come to this nanny's defense.....I have witnessed a child being trained as this child appears to have been.....I kid you not, the child was let out of the stroller but every time she crawled too far away (more than 4 feet) she was strapped into the stroller for about 5 mins, then let out again...repeat, repeat, repeat.....absolutely disgusting....it's actually called "blanket training" but can be done without a blanket
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanket_training
now as to whether the parents were in agreement, know about it or not, we will never know....so yeah, I guess it's safe to say that maybe it isn't a bad nanny sighting....but is a disgusting sighting, that's for sure.
Thank you missmannah! agreed! and great comment, a mom.
ReplyDelete@ Mannah kind of like you did in the post about the Nanny sitting with her charge for 3 hours? Or the other times you've done it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you have a reason for why what you did was different and called for.
@Mom just because you've seen something similiar doesn't mean this is what was happening, as others have pointed out some little kids prefer doing just what the little one was.
Cucumber- WTF?
ReplyDeleteI've had children in my care who are completely content playing in one spot. Not all babies explore, crawl, climb, etc. Just because this baby was content, it does not mean that the child was "blanket trained."
ReplyDeleteLike I said in my comment that was censored, I'm more worried about the poster taking a photo every ten minutes & carefully documenting every move.
This child was clearly carefully supervised & in no danger & there were no signs of abuse or neglect what so ever.
As I said earlier, I admire the cocern but do not share it.
Cucumber...in that thread I said "I wonder if the OP was literally sitting there staring at the nanny for 3 straight hours." I did not ask her why she wasn't watching her own kids, I was amused at the thought of watching another person for 3 hours because that sounds incredibly boring. And I don't know what other instances you're referring.
ReplyDeleteOp here,
ReplyDeleteI've been planing to respond on these 'fair' and very 'important' questions since last week, but I really didn't have a chance because obsessively taking pictures of strangers can be very exhausting.
However, I see that some of you really care and worry, like ContentBaby (who repeats herself)
(Funny, when I told this to my MB, she didn't ask me why i wasn't busy watching her children. She thanked me and shared couple of similar stories she witnessed before) However, I appreciate the care..very touching.
I am taking care of big kids (9yo and 10yo) - the older one will be 11yo in 2 months. I am never THAT busy watching them that I cant see whats going on around me. We rarely go to playgrounds, but we were meeting a friend at that particular location. Kids friend and his nanny were really late (misunderstanding with his nanny) so my charges start climbing web-apparatus while I watched them.
It might be a surprise for some of you but I was able to watch my charges AND look around at the same time! Multitasking, duh. Anyway, Its was hard not to spot those nannies. And yes, I took a look in their direction every once in a while and yes I took a pic every 10 min aprox (in first 40 min or so), and then couple of more later before we left the playground.
Use common sense, is it really that time consuming to look around the place that you are at for 2 hours and snap some photos? How many seconds, minutes it takes? Well, some of you might think I am a horrible human being. That's okay.
Moving on... Lately I have seen some people (or one person using different monikers) leaving really mean comments on nanny sightings usually defending the nanny, finding (possible, but not likely to be true) excuses, like:
'maybe child don't like to play or explore or crawl or climb or laugh.. child like to sit in one spot and be quiet for 2 hours straight' or 'maybe parents specifically told nanny she has to sit on the bench and don't interact with their child ' or 'maybe nanny donated too much blood and is too weak to do anything except sit on bench and gossip ', usually followed by: 'nanny didn't abuse the child, child is still alive and there is no negligence'
Is this Isawachildabuser blog or? If nanny is not a criminal doesn't mean she is a good nanny, and that's exactly what I showed here - a bad nanny, benchwarmer, warm body.. w/e you prefer.
(It made me wonder how many of you recognized yourself in these sightings? Since being a nanny for you is only keeping the child alive and not abusing the child. Benchwarmers would be the right name for you).
BKmommy,
I can understand that they might feel embarrassed and act defensive because they feel like their parenting is being attacked. They are the ones who made the decision to hire that particular nanny, and its their poor judgement regard the care for their own child. I totally understand that sometimes parents might get very sensitive about it. Especially because many mothers feels guilty for not staying at home, having to work or simply wanting to have a career.
However, I would like to know and that's why i posted it. The rest is up to parents to decide (if they see this) not for some double standard weirdos.
To the last Anonymous comment, I kind of thought that was the whole point of I saw your nanny. To report nanny sightings, good or bad. And while I don't agree with moms being in attentive to their children, I know I would be being a horrible nanny if I wasn't. I'm being paid to be up there playing with the children, not to sit around talking to my friends or any other personal activities. Though it sounds like you took personal offense to this sighting, which doesn't make sense if you are the nanny rescuing children from falls - that's certainly not a bench nanny.
ReplyDelete