How many strikes do you give parents before you decide to move on? I've dealt with my MB freaking because I ate too much of her favorite snacks. I've dealt with them trying to get me to stay later for no more pay. I've dealt with them trying to sneakily get me to care for their oldest child without extra pay. I've dealt with them blaming me for their oldest child's leaving crumbs all over the place. I've dealt with them complaining about the baby's spit up stains on the carpet. I've dealt with them complaining to me about the baby not sleeping through the night because I let the baby sleep too much during the day only for me to put the baby on a schedule and for them not to follow it. I could go on, but I'm just getting angry thinking about it. I know in baseball it's 3 strikes and your out. Is it the same for being a nanny? I don't have a job lined up yet, but I am seriously considering posting my CV this weekend.
My question to you is HOW have you dealt with each issue? Because I'm suspecting that you've just kind of ignored their yammering and let it slide that they are clearly control freaks. IE: you haven't really dealt with it at all and now you feel like you're at your wits' end. If this is the case, then absolutely you do need to move on. Take it as a life lesson: you need to speak up if the bosses are acting crazy and putting unreasonable demands on you before they start building up.
ReplyDeleteOk, OP there is no 3 strike rule it's all about mutual respect and communication. You have a problem you speak up. It sounds like you've been keeping all of this to yourself. You should have insisted they pay you for carrying for an extra kid and hours.
ReplyDeleteIf it were me I would have been gone the first time they yelled at me about food as though I were a child.
Mostly everything else you mentioned could have been addressed by having a contract in place from the start and sticking to it.
As far as scheduling the baby y0u should have talked that over with mom and dad as well and come up with something you can all agree on.
Is the other stuff you mentioned extra job creep chores like laundry, dishes, and vaccuuming?
If so you also should have said no.
You need to learn to speak up for yourself. People treat you as you allow them to.
It's no excuse for them to yell at you and treat you like a child, but it's something for you to be aware of in the future.
It sounds like this situation is to far gone to fix. They have no respect for yu and you have far to much resentment.
Now you might be able to shock and awe them by demanding some respect and things right themselves, but it isn't likely especially if you've been in this position for awhile.
I would post that resume, but I'd also be thinking long and hard about ways to make sure you are treated with the respect you deserve in your next job and how to communicate better.
Don't mean to sound harsh, but I have spent a lifetime learning how not to be a doormat and I hope you don't have to keep making the same mistakes I did.
Wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
I'm guessing the title is tongue in cheek, Bethany. Of course there shouldn't be a three strike rule, but your correct in stating if the nanny has a problem, she should speak up. Nobody should take this kind of crap. If they do, they're allowing themselves to be taken advantage of.
ReplyDeleteAlso OP, I'm with Bethany here in that if your planning on leaving anyway, what've you got to lose, just stand up for yourself now, maybe it WILL shock the hell out of them and they'll be afraid of losing you and might listen for a change. Let us know what happens, ok?
ReplyDeleteContract, contract, contract! From caring for extra children (for ANY amount of time) to responsibilities, to your "late fees" when parents decide to come home 10 minutes late. Always write for more than what you hope will happen so that if it/when it DOES you have a signed agreement to refer to.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I would have left long ago. Respect is something you can't negotiate on. If I were you I would do a serious contract overhaul with a brand new family and start fresh. It sounds to me like no one is happy in this situation.
Best of luck to you hon!
Clearly, this family is taking advantage of you...it doesn't matter how many times they have done it...even one time I would leave. ASAP.
ReplyDeleteOf course, if you really need the money (who doesn't?) then you may have to put up w/this foolishness until you get a new job.
Trust me...things will only get worse.
Leave. This will not get better. Even if you learn to be more assertive, most of these issues would not happen with a good employer and certainly not all of them. The only legitimate one is being upset if you let db nap all day, but that is negated by their refusal to work with you on a schedule.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine expecting my nanny to work without pay in any form nor being annoyed if she ate food in our home.
I'm not convinced that OP hasn't dealt with these issues appropriately.
ReplyDeleteI think this is simply a bad match.
Moveon.com :)
Yes, you need to move on. When you interview remember it is a two way interview. You also need to decide if they are the right fit for you. Don't be afraid to ask questions, and bring up issues that they don't.
ReplyDeleteBe sure to have a contract, and a trial period. GL
Get out now!
ReplyDeleteThese people don't respect you at all!
Get a new job, and don't wait around for a nanny job to open up as you might be waiting forever.
Try daycares, grocery stores etc give your notice and go.
Get yourself a contract next time and stick to it, and demand respect.