I don't think it is an inherent determining factor one way or the other. I think having worked as a part-time nanny likely gives me higher, but also more realistic expectations of my caregivers. For example, I think having a nanny work 12 hour days on a regular basis is a very bad idea which I feel working those days helped me learn. However, I also think that expecting excellent performance during a shorter day is quite reasonable.
Nonetheless, I still feel like I had to "learn" be a good employer and am much better at it now than as a new employer. It's a totally different skill set going from nannying to employing a nanny.
Just like having a chronic illness and lots of interaction with doctors wouldn't necessarily make you a better doctor. It would give you more insight into qualities you value in a doctor and more insight into the patient's perspective. But it would have no inherent positive or negative effect on your ability to actually practice medicine.
I've never been a Nanny myself, but I'd think that there's the good and bad whether the employer is a former nanny or not. My guess would be some former Nannies would expect more, as they'd probably figure if they could do x,y,z then so can the nanny for their kids.
I often joke to my hubby that when our children have a Nanny I will be a tough MB. Not because of scheduling or nanny creep. Just because I would expect the same things from my Nanny that I expect of myself as a Nanny. I would absolutely want a focus on "fun learning", crafts, games, outings and activities that help my children learn more about the world around them and aiding them in becoming well rounded human beings. But, having been a Nanny for so long, I think that might be tough to not be overly involved in my nanny and childrens day. :/
I think that former Nannies will be great employers. Why? Having walked in a Nanny's shoes and experienced all the ups and downs involved, they will have a huge amount of empathy for them.
For example, I know how hard it is to work alongside another adult when caring for a child, so as a parent, I would make sure I give my Nanny 100% autonomy and let her be in charge while I do what I have to do. Also, I know how miserable it feels to be used and walked all over all day, so I would make sure I treated my Nanny w/the respect every Nanny out there deserves. I mean if someone is loving and caring for my precious child, I would appreciate them so much that I would bend over backwards for them!!
In my experience former nannies have been the best bosses with few exceptions.
They are the best because they truly understand what it is to spend a day caring for a child.
Those exceptions weren't nannies in my opinion but ladies who had babysat for their teachers over the summer. It was difficult explaining appropriate salary and taxes to them. They thought 1099 was the way to go.
I would like to think I will be a better MB one day, simply because we lived it. We know that the job isn't easy like so many parents think it is! I think we would remember too that while the nanny has our idea of a dream (staying home, spending time with our precious kiddos) it isn't her home or her kids, so for her it is work.
It can be good or bad. For instance, if you weren't very good at the nanny gig yourself, you may have a hard time trusting another person to be good at it as well. A lot of times (I know bc I've done it) we cast a shadow over others based upon our own experiences. On the other hand, if you were a good nanny, you can easily pin point what character traits helped you become that, therefore know what to look for when hiring one of your own.
from what my cousin said. (I don't know how much I can take a serious because she is half retarded.) but she has 3 kids who are awful and she can't control them. She doesn't come over to my mom's house anymore because last time she was there she let her awful kids run around while I was watching TV and I flipped out. she was so upset that she spent the rest of the afternoon outside with her 2 and 3 year old and she was 8.5 months prego.
That's her back story because as a horrible mom she has decided to work for a woman who was a nanny. She said she was a nanny for 10 plus years before finally getting her degree and starting a family. So my cousin (not knowing how to parent) has been watching this womans kids. She said that because she was a former nanny she micromanages. She said that she thinks that my cousin is doing a lazy job because she knows all the nanny loopholes and lies that you can tell parents.
She basically assumes that my cousin is behaving the way she did when she was a nanny. My cousin is too stupid to be manipulative but this former nanny turned employer thinks that she is 'trying to take her for a fool' she has set up a skype type thing so she can monitor the kids (2) and she doesn't ask my cousin what they did during the day. She asks her oldest girl (4) what they did then she was cross check the information with what my cousin says. Like she is trying to catch her in a lie.
It sounds awful to me. My cousin also said that the mb states her kids have lost all their manners and seem harder to control. Which to me makes sense because she isn't good at making kids listen to her.
So i don't know. I think it depends on the person and I think it depends on what kind of nanny they were. If they were good and honest then I think they would assume and hope they would employ a nanny who is the same. If they were sneaky and lazy, then they would assume their employee was like that.
I have a friend who is also a nanny and she and I have talked about this multiple times. I refuse to have a nanny when I finally have my own children. I've seen what having a full time nanny does to some children, sometimes never seeing their parents from wakeing up to sleeping. I once had the children of a family do mothers day stuff for me, that broke my heart. I couldn't do that to my children.
Katie,Phoenix, I think what AJ was trying to say was that the children made her mothers day stuff on their own accord, not that she was looming over them making the kids call her mommy while they slaved away making her an undeserved creepy card.
I think it can work for or against you. I've found the moms that worked in childcare were more understanding about what really goes into properly caring for a child and don't make demands for housework.
Oddly enogh I've had a tougher time getting former nannies to agree to a work agreement and taxes because they didn't use one in their nanny days.
I don't think it is an inherent determining factor one way or the other. I think having worked as a part-time nanny likely gives me higher, but also more realistic expectations of my caregivers. For example, I think having a nanny work 12 hour days on a regular basis is a very bad idea which I feel working those days helped me learn. However, I also think that expecting excellent performance during a shorter day is quite reasonable.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, I still feel like I had to "learn" be a good employer and am much better at it now than as a new employer. It's a totally different skill set going from nannying to employing a nanny.
Just like having a chronic illness and lots of interaction with doctors wouldn't necessarily make you a better doctor. It would give you more insight into qualities you value in a doctor and more insight into the patient's perspective. But it would have no inherent positive or negative effect on your ability to actually practice medicine.
I've never been a Nanny myself, but I'd think that there's the good and bad whether the employer is a former nanny or not. My guess would be some former Nannies would expect more, as they'd probably figure if they could do x,y,z then so can the nanny for their kids.
ReplyDeleteI often joke to my hubby that when our children have a Nanny I will be a tough MB. Not because of scheduling or nanny creep. Just because I would expect the same things from my Nanny that I expect of myself as a Nanny. I would absolutely want a focus on "fun learning", crafts, games, outings and activities that help my children learn more about the world around them and aiding them in becoming well rounded human beings. But, having been a Nanny for so long, I think that might be tough to not be overly involved in my nanny and childrens day. :/
ReplyDeleteI think that former Nannies will be great employers. Why? Having walked in a Nanny's shoes and experienced all the ups and downs involved, they will have a huge amount of empathy for them.
ReplyDeleteFor example, I know how hard it is to work alongside another adult when caring for a child, so as a parent, I would make sure I give my Nanny 100% autonomy and let her be in charge while I do what I have to do. Also, I know how miserable it feels to be used and walked all over all day, so I would make sure I treated my Nanny w/the respect every Nanny out there deserves. I mean if someone is loving and caring for my precious child, I would appreciate them so much that I would bend over backwards for them!!
In my experience former nannies have been the best bosses with few exceptions.
ReplyDeleteThey are the best because they truly understand what it is to spend a day caring for a child.
Those exceptions weren't nannies in my opinion but ladies who had babysat for their teachers over the summer. It was difficult explaining appropriate salary and taxes to them. They thought 1099 was the way to go.
I would like to think I will be a better MB one day, simply because we lived it. We know that the job isn't easy like so many parents think it is! I think we would remember too that while the nanny has our idea of a dream (staying home, spending time with our precious kiddos) it isn't her home or her kids, so for her it is work.
ReplyDeleteIt can be good or bad. For instance, if you weren't very good at the nanny gig yourself, you may have a hard time trusting another person to be good at it as well. A lot of times (I know bc I've done it) we cast a shadow over others based upon our own experiences. On the other hand, if you were a good nanny, you can easily pin point what character traits helped you become that, therefore know what to look for when hiring one of your own.
ReplyDeletefrom what my cousin said. (I don't know how much I can take a serious because she is half retarded.) but she has 3 kids who are awful and she can't control them. She doesn't come over to my mom's house anymore because last time she was there she let her awful kids run around while I was watching TV and I flipped out. she was so upset that she spent the rest of the afternoon outside with her 2 and 3 year old and she was 8.5 months prego.
ReplyDeleteThat's her back story because as a horrible mom she has decided to work for a woman who was a nanny. She said she was a nanny for 10 plus years before finally getting her degree and starting a family. So my cousin (not knowing how to parent) has been watching this womans kids. She said that because she was a former nanny she micromanages. She said that she thinks that my cousin is doing a lazy job because she knows all the nanny loopholes and lies that you can tell parents.
She basically assumes that my cousin is behaving the way she did when she was a nanny. My cousin is too stupid to be manipulative but this former nanny turned employer thinks that she is 'trying to take her for a fool' she has set up a skype type thing so she can monitor the kids (2) and she doesn't ask my cousin what they did during the day. She asks her oldest girl (4) what they did then she was cross check the information with what my cousin says. Like she is trying to catch her in a lie.
It sounds awful to me. My cousin also said that the mb states her kids have lost all their manners and seem harder to control. Which to me makes sense because she isn't good at making kids listen to her.
So i don't know. I think it depends on the person and I think it depends on what kind of nanny they were. If they were good and honest then I think they would assume and hope they would employ a nanny who is the same. If they were sneaky and lazy, then they would assume their employee was like that.
I have a friend who is also a nanny and she and I have talked about this multiple times. I refuse to have a nanny when I finally have my own children. I've seen what having a full time nanny does to some children, sometimes never seeing their parents from wakeing up to sleeping. I once had the children of a family do mothers day stuff for me, that broke my heart. I couldn't do that to my children.
ReplyDeleteAJ why didn't you tell the kids of that family to do mother's day for their mom?! You think it broke your heart. How'd she feel?
ReplyDelete@ Aj,
ReplyDeleteYou had the kids make yout mother's day stuff? That is all kinds of messed up.
I've had kids make me stuff on their own and families give me stuff for mother's day. That is super awkward.
http://www.r-word.org/
ReplyDeleteEnough said, Phoenix
Katie,Phoenix,
ReplyDeleteI think what AJ was trying to say was that the children made her mothers day stuff on their own accord, not that she was looming over them making the kids call her mommy while they slaved away making her an undeserved creepy card.
I think it can work for or against you. I've found the moms that worked in childcare were more understanding about what really goes into properly caring for a child and don't make demands for housework.
ReplyDeleteOddly enogh I've had a tougher time getting former nannies to agree to a work agreement and taxes because they didn't use one in their nanny days.