I need advice from fellow nannies and employers. I have worked with a family for over a year, so when my annual review came up, I expected both a cost of living and merit raise. My work load has increased in the last year, as I have picked up an extra day of work and basically do anything the family asked with no increase in my salary. At my review, the family decided they do not believe in giving raises unless merited. Their proposed solution to this was they will give me raises if the children reach selected developmental milestones, i.e. potty trained by 18 months. They asked me to propose certain milestones for them to take into consideration. I would like to know if first of all, you think this is an appropriate way to prove merit, and if so, what milestones you suggest. Thank you!
I would tell them that when you started there the agreement was this this and that.Now they have you an extra day with no more money and doing mjore chores and you have hit your milestone. Cough up the raise or they have your notice. I read this all the time in here. They make you scrub toilets , dishes and laundry and then you wonder why they take advantage of you? Because you let them. Jeeze grow some balls and tell them it is not fair and give notice. If more nannies fought for their rights this crap would not be happening. Have a contract ..period.
ReplyDeleteThe parents sound like idiots to me. How are these milestones "merit?" What the hell????!!
ReplyDeleteI think you should get a raise for the extra day of work and the extra duties you are doing vs. a kid peeing in his potty. If they do not give you one, look for another family who has more common sense.
yeah, I agree, don't let them treat you like a doormat! get a raise or get out. and that milestone stuff is total bs, what if the kid doesn't reach it? what if they regress, do you get a pay reduction? total bs.
ReplyDeleteThat is just wrong. I would have laughed in their faces if they told me they would give me a raise if their children hit developmental milestones "on time." Developmental milestones are not "set in stone" and therefore every child reaches them at different times. The ages for these milestones are an average, and like every average, there is a bell curve associated with it. The vast majority hover right around the average but then there are always some on either side- early and late, and there's nothing wrong with that. For example, my friend started walking when she was 8 months old! But then one of my cousins didn't walk til he was 16 months. Mind you, these people are both typically developed and just fine. There is no way you can force a child to walk. In the way way, you can't force a child to potty train who isn't ready. If you do, it will become a nightmare. Don't listen to these parents because they obviously don't know much in the area of development.
ReplyDeleteI think the parents are nuts, and so are you if you go along with it.
ReplyDeleteI sound like a broken record, but this is where a contract is imperative, as is a schedule of fees. For each duty, your pay is x. More duties, more pay. Once you take on extra duties for no pay, you are setting yourself up for this benchmark nonsense, where I assure you, the ball will continually be moved. The baby was potty trained in 18 months, 1 day, so sorry.
The nanny may have already spoiled this family, but I would prepare and present a contract, and make sure I was getting paid for everything I was doing. I'm talking about going hard core, and listing a menu of al a carte duties, with additional per hour costs listed.
PS Anything baby/child associated goes under the basic nanny services, and that includes potty training. No need to pay extra for that. And as for the 18 month mark, not all babies bodies are alike. Genetics has a role to play as well. So these parents needs educating. Sometimes the parents need raising more that the kids.
"They asked me to propose certain milestones for them to take into consideration."
ReplyDeleteThis list should contain the additional work load you have ALREADY taken on, as well as the extra day of work. If they didn't bump up your pay at the time of these additions, you are due one now.
A merit increase addresses any additional skills or duties you have acquired and begun using on the job. You have already done so, therefore you have already earned one. End of story.
Your pay increases should NOT be contingent upon the developmental milestones the child reaches! Strawberry Shortcakes is right. I just see something wrong with the nanny being held accountable for the progressive development of the parent's genetic offspring.
If the parents want you to chart these milestones so that they have a record of them ..... fine. But it's a completely separate issue from the salary they pay you for the care you already give. (and BTW, the charting/recording counts as an additional task)
I forgot to mention: do not confuse 'merit increase' with 'cost of living increase' - they are two different animals, and given the economy of late, it's in your best interest to pursue the merit increase over the COLA.
ReplyDeleteI don't know anyone who has received a COLA in the past two years.
I can't believe you agreed to work an extra day without extra pay. You should have been given a pay raise right then and there, regardless of whether it was your yearly review. Wouldn't extra work and extra duties be considered proving merit anyway? Another thing that struck me as odd was if you are getting raises based on milestone achievement isn't that basically you taking credit for the children's work? It isn't YOU learning how to use the toilet, it is the child. It is pretty rare to find one who is ready by the age of 18 months anyway. I've only seen a handful who were completely potty-trained by their 2nd birthday over the course of my career.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I also agree with working mom. I don't see anyone getting cost of living increases anymore. I think that raises should be based on merit, and you've definitely proven that you are worth a raise based on all the work you've put in. If your employers don't see that, screw 'em.
ReplyDeleteSmells like a steaming pile of bullshit to me.
ReplyDeleteThey sound like wackos. A raise based on their children's milestones as opposed to your performance as a nanny? Ummmmmm...no.
I also want to add that you could approach these wacko parents in another way in order to get your raise. Inform them that you cannot force a child to reach these milestones and therefore the idea they proposed will just not work... BUT you can do a few things in order to assure them that you will do anything IN YOUR POWER to help create an enriching environment for the child. For example, have story time everyday and make books fun. Also, exposure to letters and numbers by way of books or songs. Encourage self help skills like cleaning up, washing hands, brushing teeth/hair, even cooking (limited for the age but they can always help stir or dump things in). Also go on outings to work on gross motor (i.e. playgrounds and climbing structures, bicycles, etc). Do puzzles for fine motor skills or go buy educational toys. Arrange playgroups for social development. And for potty training, do some research on the internet as there are several approaches to potty training that have been proven to be effective.
ReplyDeleteMost "good" nannies do all these things just because they know that the child's environment is important to their development. If there are no books around or the child isn't encouraged to do things on his own, then how will he learn to read or brush his own teeth? These parents seem concerned about their child's development and they are placing most of the burden on you. The reality is, most of the burden is on the child. The most you can do is expose them to these things but you cannot jam them down the child's throat. Forcing the child to sit on the potty all day when he has no interest or drilling him with flashcards is not a good idea.
If you want to stick with this job, be positive toward the parents and present yourself in a way that makes it sound like you know what you're talking about. Make a list of all these things that you can control in terms of the child's development and put those in the contract instead of the clause that the child will reach a certain milestone at a certain time. THAT should be enough for a raise. But to them if it isn't, I would walk away from this job. Best of luck!
Are these parents from planet stupid? I've never heard of such a thing.
ReplyDelete"Another thing that struck me as odd was if you are getting raises based on milestone achievement isn't that basically you taking credit for the children's work? It isn't YOU learning how to use the toilet, it is the child."
ReplyDeleteLMAO, sorry, don't mean to laugh. But this is SO true!
Thank you. It is true, the child has to be ready and put in the effort. You can lead a child to the toilet, but you cannot make him pee.
ReplyDeletethat is not appropriate. It is almost like they are betting on their kids. What if you decide for a raise when the child potty trains by 18 months and on your off time they don't reinforce the training and the kid never makes it by 18 months. So are you then refused a raise?
ReplyDeleteI think they are playing you. That is not right
I basically agree with everyone here, this family sounds crazy! Having the child's milestones tied into the nanny's pay is just twisted. Get out of there fast.
ReplyDeleteAs an employer, I can tell you it would never occur to me to use things like toilet training as the basis for a wage increase. Some kids take longer than others and the last thing they should want is to create the possibility that their nanny might try to get the child to use the toilet before they are ready! (Not that you would do that, of course, dear OP!)
ReplyDeleteCost of living raises are indeed hard to justify these days, but merit raises are not. You should ask to be compensated for the extra hours you now work (they should be paying for these already) and if they think you do not deserve to paid any more based on your performance you should asky why. What their work situations are might have some influence on their decision - maybe they get paid on commission or similar? But at the end of the day you are a nanny and if they are happy with your performance they should reward you for it. Otherwise maybe you should part ways. They sound a bit odd to me anyway!!! :)
OP can you please update us on this?!?!
ReplyDeleteHi OP here :) I want to thank you guys for some of the constructive comments, they were really helpful. After consideration I have decided to begin looking for another position. It was really hard for me to decide to move on as I have had these children since birth and love them as if they are my own. I wish I could discuss the idea with them as many of you have mentioned but they do not seem to be open to discussion (ie as some pointed out how crazy it was to take on another day without pay, it was supposed to be paid however has never been received and was debated at this same review) I want only the best for these children however I deserve fairness also. I am an experienced nanny and know what reasonable demands are, however I am not an aggressive person and therefore sometimes can be taken advantage of. Basically I have realized my time with this family has to come to an end but I am considering printing this forum for my employers as they will employ another nanny. They are first time employers so maybe this forum can help as they hire and train their next nanny. Again thanks again for your input guys, I appreciate it so much :)
ReplyDeleteIf you print out this forum, you can kiss any chance of a reference good-bye. I doubt they will appreciate learning that you asked this question on the internet. They probably feel totally justified in their ridiculous decision. But if you don't need the reference, go for it! They need a dose of reality.
ReplyDeleteOP, I would not print this and give it to them.
ReplyDeleteI gurantee you they know exactly what they are doing and don't care.
If they were interested in paying fairly and asking reasonable chores of their nanny they would have researched it and asked your input they didn't.
It only takes one selfish family to ruin a good nanny's career.
Just give your two weeks and move on
It's there new nanny's responsibility to work out an agreement from them and see about getting a reference from their previous nanny as to why you left.
ReplyDeleteNot your job.
Trust me, it's not worth risking your career on trying to "educate" someone.
this is a way for them to make you feel stupid if you don't help them reach their unrealistic milestones. every single child is different in milestones no matter what. They are morons.
ReplyDelete