I am going to keep this brief. I've been with a family for 7 1/2 years. During the past year I have watched their marriage crumble. The arguing, sniping and back biting are awful! It's hard to believe this is the same couple I met years ago. The oldest child is now in counseling (she's 10) and the youngest is just a baby and is not aware. The parents are in a stand off, neither will leave without the kids. So they still live together. The problem is I am getting pushed and pulled between the 2 of them to take sides. I refuse, but it is getting harder and harder to work there. They are making it unbearable for me! What should I do?
OP this sooo sucks for you. I would ask them both to sit down together and tell them how I feel . That if they cannot stop the hateful act that you need to leave. Let them know that it is bad enough that they have one child in therapy they do not need to screw up the baby too. If they fire you? SO what. Your health is in danger here too. I know you love the kids but you sometimes have to love yourself more. If they fight and start the blame game get up and hand them your notice. Then leave . My heart goes out to thise kids.
ReplyDeleteOP..so sorry you are going through this. It must be so miserable for the oldest to see her parents live in such a vile environment.
ReplyDeleteI would sit down and have a good talk w/both parents. Let them know you love their kids, and want this job to work out. Yet at the same time, you are being pulled in two different directions and would like to remain a neutral party in this situation from now on. Hopefully they will understand and try to be more civil w/you in regards to work. If they cannot, then you must ask yourself if this is a deal-breaker. If so, do not feel guilty. After all, you did what you could by sitting down and talking w/the parents. If they get pissed and fire you (after 7.5 yrs of service), then they are just ignorant and you are better off w/out them.
I feel for these kids....hopefully the parents will do what's in their best interest and separate.
Best of luck to you.
Please update us all on how things go. ☺
I agree you need to have a talk with them like rational adults. However, I think it should be two separate talks. I think if all three of you sat down together, it will just end up in another fight between mom and dad because they might just start pointing fingers at one another.
ReplyDeleteI would talk to them as well, but I wouldn't do it separately. I see why you may not want to talk to them together, but think about this: If you have separate discussions with each parent, who goes first? Whoever isn't first might see that as you going behind their back with the other parent. That may seem like an overreaction, but couples at this stage tend to overreact and get hurt feelings over the tiniest little things.
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